Plot Twist at Twilight
by AnthonyMarie
Summary: Iris Mcgee, a 29 year old nurse, wakes up one morning trapped in the body of none other than Isabella Swan of the Twilight Saga. She has no recollection of how this happened or if its really happening at all. See how she navigates her way through this strange set of circumstances. Rated M for language and lemons later on. My version of Self-insert SIOC AU :)
1. ARudeAwakening

I do not own Twilight or any of its characters*

**Ch. 1 A Rude Awakening**

"Bells. Honey, wake up. You've gotta get to school. You don't want to be late to your first day, do you?"

I rubbed my eyes groggily and stretched at the sound of the unfamiliar, gruff voice. Bells? What the hell's a bells? Hah that rhymed...wait! Whose voice was that? There's a strange man waking me up. A man. _In my room._

"Shit!" I screeched, falling out of the bed and hitting my head on the corner of a desk that I knew for a fact was not usually in my room. I rolled over quickly, not willing to waste another moment pondering the reorganization of the furniture, grasping for anything I might use as a weapon as I confronted the intruder before me. I blindly grabbed at the floor until I felt a shoe—a converse? What the hell? That would just have to do. "Wadda-yoo-want?" I yelled at him as I held the shoe out toward him as menacingly as was possible for a shoe. The desired amount of threat was lost in the thick sound of sleep still dominating my raspy voice. Damnit all.

A wide-eyed, stunned and slightly hurt looking man stood with his hands reached toward me, hovering as if he were unsure of what to do. "Bells? Honey, it's me, Dad. Can you put the shoe down now, please?" He had curly, dark hair, kind eyes, and was wearing a police uniform. A cop? I chanced a look around and realized that I was not where I should have been.

"Why do you keep calling me Bells?" I spat.

He winced at my harsh tone but then smiled nervously as he responded. "Sorry, do you prefer Bella now? It never seemed to bother you when I called you that when you were younger, but I know it's been a while...Look, I'm sorry I woke you up and scared you like that. I just thought you might want something to eat before school started. I left some food from the diner downstairs in the kitchen. I have to get to the station. Will you be ok by yourself?" He watched me carefully, still holding the shoe up toward him lamely, like he was looking at a wild animal.

After a moment a phone rang, and the man retrieved a cell from his belt clip, answering, "Chief Swan." I didn't pay attention after that. Swan? Bella? A cop, no a...a chief? Chief Swan. Bella Swan. Isabella Marie Swan...like Twilight? What the freaking hell was going on here?

The non-aggressive, even loving?, gaze combined with his response to me, stunned my thoughts into silence long enough as I looked back and forth between his face and the room that wasn't mine for him to shrug and walk out the door, mumbling awkwardly for me to have a good day.

When I zoned back in, I heard what sounded like his heavy foot steps going downstairs before I scrambled to my feet. My center of gravity was off, though, like my body was somehow unexpectedly closer to the ground and more compact.

I glanced in the mirror that sat atop a foreign dresser in the corner of the room and gasped. I was staring back into the reflection of big, chocolate brown eyes where there used to be bright blue. My hair was long, thick, and chestnut brown when it had been thin and wispy blonde only hours ago. I took a few timid steps forward, rubbing my hands in my eyes. I only stopped once I knew that I could believe what I was seeing, that this was not some kind of trick mirror like the ones at fairs. Not only were my eyes and hair different, but everything else was different too. My face and body were not my own. This face was heart shaped, pretty in a girl-next-door kind of way. The front teeth were straighter and larger than mine. Her eyes were rounder, wider, almost too overpowering for her petite face, but it only enhanced her doe-eyed, innocent appearance. Her lips were fuller than mine were, the top one slightly larger than the lower. Her nose was perfectly straight and narrow where mine had been slightly crooked—from the time I broke it playing volleyball—and turned up at the tip with a small hump at the bridge also from said accident. Her body was tiny, petite, maybe 5' 2". I was usually closer to 6'. The punchline to it all? I looked young...very young, like teenage girl young, like a seventeen-year-old-girl young. I was supposed to be 29 years old.

I ran to the window, flinging it open with all the force these scrawny arms could muster, nearly tripping on air but catching myself at the last second and looked outside into the dreary, rainy landscape just in time to see a police cruiser drive away, leaving only a mammoth of an old, clunky truck in the driveway. What. The. Hell?

No freaking way could this be real. Could it? I am NOT Isabella Marie Swan. I'm Iris Elizabeth McGee. This is crap that only happens in movies. This had to be a dream. There was no other explanation.

I laughed in relief. I was sleeping. This was just a stupid dream. I didn't awaken in the body of a fictional seventeen year old girl. Charlie Swan, Chief of Forks Police, did not go to the diner to pick up some breakfast for me before I would start my first day at Forks High where I would then meet my fated, star-crossed, vampire lover, Edward Cullen. That's not reality, thank God. I shuddered at the idea of vampires and werewolves being real. It was all a dream. Another relieved, yet nervous, chuckle escaped my mouth.

That was when I turned and tripped over that fucking converse shoe I had carelessly thrown to the floor before and fell backward out the open window, rolling down and off the roof's ledge, and hit the ground with a painful thud.

Damnit Bella Swan and your clumsy body. Damn you to the darkest pits of hell...Then I blacked out.

•PTaT•

"Isabella? Miss Swan can you hear me?" There was a sound of someone snapping near my ear. Rude. Why the hell was he calling me Isabell—oh crap! I tried to sit up, but found it nearly impossible when my sluggish brain wouldn't allow the movement.

"Oh God..." I squeezed my eyes closed at the throbbing originating from the back of my skull and wrapping to my forehead as I recalled my journey out the window. I thought this nightmare would be over by now...guess not. And why was the pain so vivid? I almost felt lucid.

"Not quite." Chuckled the warm voice. He was making jokes at a time like this? What an ass. "Welcome back, Isabella. My name is Dr. Cullen."

Cullen? Oh like the vamp—oh, _oh_. I'm in so much trouble if I don't wake up soon.

I opened my eyes fully only to find myself staring back into the golden eyes of one Carlisle Cullen. It had to be him. No other doctor in real life would be as heartbreakingly beautiful with his light blonde hair and winning smile. Shit. What to do? Play along? Or have a meltdown like I really wanted to do right now? Ugh. Welp. Here goes nothing...

"Uhh, yeah. Nice to meet you, Dr. Cullen. What happened? Last thing I remember the ground was spiraling toward my face..." I glanced awkwardly at him. Gah, he was just so perfect. Not a single hair out of place.

"Yes, well, that's what I wanted to ask you. We can fill in the blanks of your memory if there are any after you tell me what you remember. How did you fall exactly?" He asked the question in a very casual, unassuming voice.

I knew the tone well seeing as I had been a nurse for the last eight years. This is the clinical, non-judgmental, friendly tone you use to probe your patient, to make them feel comfortable enough to spill their darkest secrets. I mean, it always comes from a place of love and concern for your fellow man, wanting to know as much as possible to treat them adequately, but using that tone is a bit manipulative still.

I wanted to roll my eyes, but I had to keep my head in the game. Besides, when it came to actually falling out the window, I had nothing to hide. The fact that I was a 29 year old woman from the "real world" was a different story. I knew that I definitely didn't want to spend the rest of this little trip to La La Land in the psych unit.

Think fast, McGee. "Um...I had the window in my bedroom open trying to air the room out...I just moved here to live with my dad, police Chief Swan, so the room hasn't been used in a while. It was a bit stuffy. Anyway, I'm known for being really clumsy, so, of course, I somehow managed to trip on a carelessly discarded shoe... and I...uhh...fell out the window. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't survive the fall. Thank you for all your and the other staff's help." I smiled genuinely and blushed. I'm blushing? Fuck. This only gets better. Stupid Bella and her annoying physiologic response to all things emotional. I'm probably going to start crying next...I hope this ends soon. I love Twilight, at least I did love it when I was younger, but this is too much.

"No need to thank us, Isabella, but I'm sure my co-workers will appreciate the recognition of all their hard work. You actually got off pretty easily compared to what could have been. You dislocated your left shoulder, bruised one rib on that same side, and suffered a relatively minor cranial fracture. How are you feeling?" A minor cranial fracture? Understatement of the day for sure.

"Like I fell off a roof." I huffed out a laugh and shook my head. Ow. Note to self, stop moving. It hurts.

He noticed my wincing. "I'll ask the nurse to increase the dosage of pain medication you're receiving."

"Don't worry about it...we're on the brink of an opioid crisis as it is. No need to add one more addict to the bunch, eh?"

Carlisle stopped what he was scribbling on his notepad and looked up to meet my eyes, his expression unreadable. Then he chuckled softly and said, "I doubt managing your pain responsibly for a few more days will contribute that greatly to an opioid crisis, which I've heard no mention of by the way, but we can use a non-opioid medication like Toradol instead if you prefer."

"Ok, but I only want one dose. It can cause nephrotoxicity and an acute kidney injury which I definitely don't need in my already compromised state..." The look of suspicion growing on his face revealed to me my mistakes. Crap. I've been awake for what, five or ten minutes, and I've already forgotten who I'm suppose to be? Firstly, it's like 2005 in Twilight, I think, which means the over-availability of opioid medication won't be documented in medical journals for another decade or so. Secondly, I'm supposed to be a naive seventeen year old, not an experienced RN who would know the adverse effects of pain medications. Shoot.

He narrowed his eyes ever so slightly but kept his voice casual as he said, "You seem to know a lot about these medications. I'm glad you are so involved in your plan of treatment. I'll go put those orders in now. Get some rest."

"Thank you." I smiled sheepishly at him and watched him leave until the door clicked behind him. "Ugh..." I groaned, still in pain but also annoyed with my slips. Get it together, McGee! Be one with Bella Swan...

After a while, I felt dumb talking to myself and trying to convince myself that I was now a fictional character, so I tried a different tactic. I just needed to fall asleep. Surely if I went to sleep in a dream I would wake up in real life, right? Who knows? I was just winging this, but it was my only idea at the moment. I laid still, concentrating on relaxing every muscle group one by one, listening to my steady breaths in and out, in and out, in and out, in...and...out...

•PTaT•

"Good morning, Sleepyhead!" A chipper voice called to me as I moved to sit up.

"What happened? Where am I?" I was still groggy from sleep. This felt very much like de ja vu, and my head was throbbing.

"You're still at Forks Hospital. I'm Sandra, your nurse for today. How's the head?" The freckled, red-headed nurse named Sandra announced. What?! I'm still here? How is that possible? This has got to be the world's longest nightmare. Or maybe it's not a nightmare...maybe I'm in a coma in the real world. Or maybe it's real...? No it's not real. That's crazy talk, Iris, and you are not crazy. I hope not anyway...

"Oh, right." I mumbled, blushing again. I rolled my eyes at this body's reaction. Ok, since I'm stuck here, it's time for action. I've never been one to just sit and do nothing. It's what drew me toward ICU nursing in school. I worked in the ER for five years and the trauma/burn ICU for another three until I somehow wound up in Crazy Twilight dream world. I wish I could remember what happened before I woke up here. I remember being at work that day. I remember it was cold, snowing, when I walked from the parking deck into the hospital. Then it's all kind of blank. Did I even make it to my unit? Ugh! It was so frustrating trying to recall...

"Hey, are you in pain?" Sandra's sweet voice was laced with concern for me as she had apparently watched my expression change from polite indifference to frustration when I was lost in my thoughts.

"No, I'm fine." Lies. I hurt like hell, but I refused to take anymore meds that may cloud my mind and make me lose more time. I needed to come up with a plan. Wait, how much time had passed? Where was Charlie Swan? Wasn't he worried about his only daughter? What about her hair-brained mother, Renee? Sure she seemed flighty, but she always showed up whenever Bella was hurt and in the hospital. "Excuse me, what's the date? And have you seen either of my parents around?" I asked innocently.

"Chief Swan just left. He didn't want to wake you. I haven't seen your mother. Do you want me to call her or someone else for you?"

"No, that's ok. And the date?"

"Oh, it's January 22nd. I think you were admitted on what? The 18th? Which means you've been here about four days." She shrugged before asking if I needed anything and leaving.

Four days. Four days I had been here. Insanity. I must have been out for awhile since I could only recall the last fifteen hours or so. I sighed to myself and wondered what to do, how to get back to my own body, my own world, and out of this could-be-dream world. -

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	2. DamnitTyler

Ch. 2 Damnit Tyler

Another few days passed, and I was still stuck in Bella Swan's body. On the upside, I was being discharged from the hospital today. Renee had called my room twice since I had been here, and Charlie had come to visit every day between shifts. It was nice to know that Bella's parents really cared for her, and Charlie seemed like a pretty great dad, just like he was in the books. He said he would have taken time off work to stay with me, but he was having to work double time working with the Olympic Park Rangers since so many hikers had gone missing lately...I guess that meant the terrifying trio of James, Victoria, and Laurent were in town already...

I outwardly shuddered at the thought of what would happen if the intended narrative were to come to fruition. That would not bode well for me seeing as I was trapped in the main protagonist's body...Oh well, I'd just have to stop that from happening as long as I found myself stuck here. Good. Stay positive, McGee.

I had already proven that I could change things since I fell out of the window. Sure, it was an extreme way to test the theory, but still, it worked. My new plan? Ride this thing out until I came to or woke up or whatever the hell Would happen in the real world. I just had to recall the story and do the opposite of everything Bella did to stay out of trouble. I knew the plot backward and forward having read the story about 23 times give or take a few in my late teens and early twenties. I may have been a little, tiny, itsy bitsy obsessed which, come to think of it, could partially explain why I found myself here to begin with.

I had seen Dr. Cullen each morning as he made his rounds. I tried to avoid any topics besides normal pleasantries and any updates on my treatment. Thankfully, he didn't seem too worried about my behavior since that first day. After he signed my discharge paperwork and the nurse gave me instructions for wound care at home—which I didn't tell her that I could have saved her some time and breath if she just dropped off the supplies with me and left, but oh well—I found myself on the way home. It was Sunday afternoon, and I was to return to school in the morning. High School. Again. Greeeeeeaaaat.

I passed out when I got to the Swan house with very little—no—preparation on my part for the grand adventure back to school the next morning. I mean, I had already gotten my masters in nursing back in the real world, so how hard could high school really be..?

I awoke the next morning feeling groggy and hungover from too much sleep. I showered, dried my hair, and threw on a t-shirt and jeans, completing the ensemble with those damned converse sneakers that I had tripped on.

2005 was my year back in high school. I would have been a sophomore then in my world, so it would be kind of nostalgic to relive my glory days here. It also occurred to me while I sat in the hospital all those days that I was back in a seventeen year old body. I could eat whatever I wanted, lounge around, and stay thin. My knees no longer bothered me, and I would bounce right back from any injuries that occurred—which, let's face it...the injuries were guaranteed until I could get a handle on this clumsy body. This bizarre experience might be a blessing in disguise, a nice little vacation from being in a body that was almost thirty. Three words: unlimited carbohydrate consumption. Heaven.

I asked Charlie for directions to the high school which I figured might prove difficult to find since I hadn't even been outside of the house or hospital since I had been here, but he informed me that it was just a mile and a half drive down the road—two turns away. Huh. Easy peasy.

The school looked just like the book described, separate little buildings and a main office. Quaint. I got my new student slip that each teacher had to sign from Mrs. Cope—I even convinced her to change my schedule under the guise that since I, Bella Swan, was in honors biology back in Arizona, I shouldn't have to sit through the lower level course here in Forks. Sure I sounded like a pretentious jerk trying to sell it, but it kept me away from the infamous meeting with Edward Cullen in biology. Step one of my "avoid danger at all costs" plan was complete. No Edward, no story, no danger, right? Well, I couldn't have been more wrong...*sigh*

In order to get out of biology after lunch, my sciences were switched out so that I had chemistry that same period. The trade then put me in gym right before lunch, and Spanish last period. This all sounded A-OK to me, like whatever it takes to avoid the Cullens.

I even tried to be standoffish with all the other Forks kids, so that I wouldn't have to sit with any of them at lunch or be followed around all day. No intimate connections to this story would be the best way to leave unscathed, but that part of the plan foiled rather quickly since they—Jessica, Angela, Mike, Eric, and even Tyler once—insisted on walking the new girl—A.K.A me—to every freaking class of the morning. They even continued speaking to me when I was awkwardly silent and glared at them! Each joked that I must be super shy, and the constant blushing didn't dampen their amusement any.

So despite my best efforts to avoid all things Cullen, imagine how surprised I was when I walked out of the locker room and into fourth period Gym and saw across the room a wild-bronze-haired boy looking like a freaking Abercrombie and Fitch model. He was hitting a volleyball lightly over the net to a spikey-raven-haired pixie of a girl—Edward and Alice Cullen, a two for one special buy. Crap. Well, maybe Alice would hold him back when he tried to eat me. This might be a good thing that they're together. At the very least she will see him about to attack and stop it, right? I hope so. Welp, here it goes.

I walked confidently to the farthest net away from them. I was probably suppose to sit out of gym today with my head injury, but I was feeling lethargic after all that time spent in bed and needed to get moving to catalyze some kind of energy. I had always been an active person. I had played varsity Volleyball in school, so this would be a nice warm-up for me.

Hah. I was wrong about that too...so, so wrong. I severely underestimated the power of muscle memory. This body clearly did nothing athletic, but of course not because Bella Swan hated sports. She was far too clumsy for anything besides walking, and even that was iffy most days which meant that I now had that trait too. Ugh!

I, however, was determined to fight the limitations of Bella's body. I could power passed this ineptness!

Nope. Big mistake. I saw the move that I wanted to make in my mind and went to serve the ball when all of a sudden I lost my footing—tripping on air again—and rolled my ankle. And to think that I had gone almost the entire period unnoticed since none of the other Twilight characters were in this class when this stupid, clumsy body failed me yet again!

I shrieked out in pain like the crybaby that I am as I dramatically fell to the floor, and it felt like the whole room came to a screeching halt to gawk at me. In a reflex—as I had been watching them like a stalker all period to make sure I didn't get too close—I stole a glance over to where the Cullens were now also looking my way in concern. I noticed Alice's face go blank, and then her expression abruptly changed to confusion and finally landed on shock. Next I saw Edward shoot her a questioning glare before he turned back to me, and his golden irises met the brown of my own. I felt a tear escape down my cheek as I cried from the pain, and my cheeks blushed furiously under his intimidating scrutiny.

But I couldn't look away. Oh crap, Iris. Be forgettable. Be forgettable. Stop being weird. Don't stare at him and cry. Bella's face looks like a baby doe. Come on! He's a chivalrous guy. He might try to come offer help, and then he'll want to drain you. Cut it out. Oh God, he's coming closer!

Edward took a few steps forward in my direction when no one else came to my aid. Go away, Cullen. I don't want your help. I'm not ready to die!

Less than a minute had passed since I fell. A few kids had shot anxious looks at me when I cried out. The wimps were probably scared that my head was cracked open again and didn't want to get involved, so they each backed away rather than offering help. Ok so one girl did wince at me sympathetically and ran to go get the coach, but like where was overly helpful Mike Newton when you needed him? One thing I didn't need was to attract the attention of the Cullens. Good job, dumbass!

Edward was still walking toward me, closing the distance between us, his face now rearranged into a polite, reassuring smile. I tried to send him "go away and leave me alone" vibes the closer he got to me, but he wasn't getting it. I even momentarily considered whispering the whole "I'm your singer" situation to him, but I wasn't sure how he would respond to that information if he understood that I knew their secret. He might just go ahead and finish me off to protect his family.

He was close, like really close, now, and I watched in horror as he froze, took a deep breath, and his eyes darkened as his polite smile abruptly shifted into a murderous glare. This was it. I was about to live a real nightmare, but in the same moment, Alice, who I hadn't noticed was right behind him, grabbed his arm and steered him out of the room.

I watched them leave in shock, sitting on the ground, with my possibly broken ankle, and crying as I still gasped in pain. But even in my surprise, I still felt relieved that I had avoided what surely would have been a bloodbath.

The coach finally arrived, chastising me for participating while I was still in recovery, and I was helped to the nurse's office.

While waiting for Charlie to come get me from school—I was no good to drive home with my right ankle decidedly sprained—I pondered how close I had come to dying. When would this nightmare end?

•PTaT•

The next morning I woke up—surprise, surprise—still in Forks. The swelling in my ankle looked better after I wrapped it with ice and elevated it overnight. I decided to go back to school since Edward, most likely, would be long gone. That's how the story went, right? Edward wanted to kill Bella that first day in biology, and then he left to go to Alaska for a week. If he stayed true to character, he should be with the Denali coven right about now.

With that thought, I hobbled to the shower, dressed, re-wrapped my ankle, and slowly made my way downstairs. I popped some Advil on my tongue before putting my mouth straight to the faucet and limped as quickly as possible to my truck.

I noticed chains on the back tires before I hopped in the cab. That was sweet of Charlie. I'd have to mention it later. Maybe I'd make him something nice for dinner. The man really couldn't cook anything besides frozen pizza and fried eggs. It was pitiful, really.

I arrived at the school ten minutes later, and because I was a bit later than usual thanks to moving at a slower pace, there was only one parking spot left over toward the side of the lot. I pulled in easily and made my way out of the cab as I tried to balance the banana I had grabbed before leaving on top of my books which weren't back in my bag yet. I slammed the door of the old, rusty red clunker closed and started to make my way toward the bed of the truck so I'd have a bit more space to reorganize all the stuff I was juggling.

"Hey Bella!" I heard Mike call eagerly.

I could only respond by waving briefly and smiling tightly as I mumbled through my grin, "Stop being so desperate for attention, Newton..." He seemed all too pleased with my lackluster greeting as he nudged Eric and winked. I just rolled my eyes as I turned back to my pile of stuff now strewn across the truck bed.

That's when I heard it—it, THE VAN! How could I forget? Iris, you idiot, a rookie mistake! I had somehow forgotten all about Tyler's van and the accident that was supposed to happen today according to the story timeline, and as if the stars aligned, I was parked in the exact spot that the stupid van was hurdling toward. The only difference between the cannon story and what was happening now was that I hadn't spoken to Edward yet, and he was probably in Alaska sulking anyway.

No one would care to save me. I was dead meat.

My almost death seemed to be a recurring theme in this world. I swear I didn't have any near-death accidents in my actual body. Damn you, danger-magnet, Bella Swan!

I squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as possible, bracing myself for the inescapable blow, not willing to actually see it all happen. I gasped aloud as a hard object collided with my frame, slamming me into the asphalt. My head hit the ground—though not as hard as I might have expected—and I was seeing stars. Double head injury in less than two weeks is no bueno. I heard another final crunch of metal nearby and my legs were quickly lifted off the ground.

I didn't know who it was that was holding me, nor did I really care. Only one special family would have the abilities to save me, but I wasn't going to get involved in this supernatural drama. I was just thankful to not have to go through the pain of dying from the god-awful wounds sustained in a motor vehicle accident. I've seen the outcomes of those about a hundred too many times working in the ICU, and it isn't pretty.

I kept my eyes squeezed closed, feigning a worse injury than I had sustained to keep up pretenses. "Uhhh..." I moaned as I cupped the posterior of my head over the stitches which hadn't yet healed from the week prior. I wanted to make sure that whoever it was who had saved me knew that I hadn't seen anything fishy happen. Must stay out of the drama!

I felt myself being gently placed back on the ground before a tinkling voice asked, "Isabella, are you alright?" Alice? Well, color me surprised. That's certainly deviating from the story. Huh. I definitely didn't see that one coming.

"Ah, I don't feel very good. I think I need to see a doctor. Sorry, I don't know your name." I figured playing total airhead was my best bet as I squinted back into the smallest Cullen's golden eyes.

"I'm Alice Cullen, and the paramedics are on their way," she responded easily. "I don't see any blood...Guess it was lucky I was standing near you."

Liar liar, pants on fire. She was on the other side of the lot moments before as we had briefly made eye contact, but I wasn't going to get involved. No more danger, damnit! "Yeah, lucky. Thanks for pushing me out of the way. Are you ok?" I used my doe-eyed innocent look that Bella's large eyes were so good at.

"Yep! Not a scratch. Oh! I hear the ambulance sirens. Let me go direct them over here and check on Tyler." And she was off.

See, book Bella? Crisis averted. Was it THAT difficult to mind your own damn business? I chuckled quietly and internally gave myself a pat on the back for once again dodging all the supernatural Twilight drama. Now, If only I was as successful at staying out of the non-supernatural drama as well. It's a great story and all if you're not actually living in it...

Just then the EMTs showed up, eventually loading me into the back of the ambulance, and I was shipped back to the hospital, my own personal mother-ship as it felt like.

"Isabella," Carlisle greeted me, clearly taking note of my wrapped ankle. I was beginning to see why she always insisted on being called Bella. Her full name was super annoying the more often I heard it aloud.

"You can just call me Bella." I corrected.

"Well then, Bella, this is your second visit to us this week, and looking at your extensive medical history which your mother graciously sent to the hospital during your last visit with us not so long ago, I'm beginning to comprehend where all your scars and extensive history have come from. Are you going to be a frequent visitor of ours?" He asked sarcastically, but not in a hurtful way. He seemed more concerned than anything. Ok, maybe slightly amused as well. He really was a stand-up guy, and not too bad on the eyes, though, Edward definitely had that competition under wraps. I mean, seriously. It was not the vamp mutations that made him so attractive. He would have easily been most beautiful man of the year material for _People _magazine as a human.

"I think I mentioned before that I'm rather clumsy...yeah, I'm not good at walking or even standing for that matter. I'm really trying though, doc, I swear." I recycled the innocent doe eyes again. I figured it worked well enough on the other Cullen, so it was worth a try.

He appeared to deliberate for a moment before finally shaking his head, his lips turning up into a small grin. "I see. Well, your scans appear clear enough for me to send you home, but please do take care of yourself." Geez, man, it's not like I wanted to get hit by that van. He seemed like he genuinely cared about his patients, though.

"Thank you, Dr. Cullen. I will try my best to avoid any more stray vans. I'm just glad that Alice was there to push me out of the way. I didn't even notice her standing there before." It was out of my mouth before I could stop myself. His eyes grew wide at the mention of his daughter but his features smoothed just as quickly. The change happened quickly enough that had I not been staring intently at his perfect, marble-skinned face I would have missed it, but it was there all the same.

Crap. Stay out of it, Iris! Don't bring up the Cullens extraordinary abilities if you want to stay out of the drama! I'm just trying to get home. Cut. It. Out.

"Alice...Yes, you were very fortunate. I'm sorry, but you will have to excuse me as I have a few more rounds to make this morning. Your father should be in the waiting area when you are ready." He gave me one last weary glance as he turned to leave.

As Dr. Cullen scurried from the room, speak of the devil, Alice entered, and she was not alone. My eyebrows shot up into my hairline, I'm sure, when I saw Edward walking in behind her. What the hell was he doing in Forks? And why on Earth was he at the hospital visiting me, a virtual stranger? And how did he plan on not eating me?!

"Isabella!" Cringe. Ugh, fine. I'll play your game, Twilight.

"Call me Bella, actually. How's it going, Alice? Are you still feeling ok?" My smile strained which probably made me look crazy.

"I told you I'm fine, silly! I just heard my dad giving the nurse the ok for your discharge, and I just wanted to see if you needed a ride home with my brother, Edward, and me." Edward smiled cordially and nodded. Charlie was in the waiting area which these two vampires would be well aware of for sure. What was their endgame here?

"Thank you for the offer, but Char—uhh, my dad is already waiting for me. I should get going. See ya later and thanks again!" I made to leave before I could get anymore involved. Was I trying to do the impossible by avoiding the events of the original story?

"Wait, Bella?" It was the sound his velvety smooth voice that stopped me. This was the first time I had heard it since arriving here, and holy crap was it gorgeous just like the lips it came from. Nope. Hard no. Do not get involved, Iris. Ignore him. Pretend you didn't hear. Do. Not. Do. It.

"Yes?" Shit.

"I just wanted to say that I'm really glad that my sister was able to help you today. I hope your head is alright." He continued to smile politely, but there was something to his eyes. Was this a test? He couldn't read my mind, right? He was probably just wanting to absolutely make sure I hadn't seen anything in the accident.

"Yeah, it was lucky that she was right next to me. I didn't even see here there. So crazy...But, you know, I'm alive, so thanks so much, Alice. You're a lifesaver, a real hero. Forks is a safer place since you're here!" Both the Cullens exchanged a certain look with one another and laughed as if I was missing an inside joke. Oh, if they only knew...

Then Alice piped up, "Anyone would have done the same."

"I doubt it. Most people run from trouble, but you're one of the good guys. Thanks. I really gotta go find Charlie now. See you later!" I avoided making eye contact with Edward, though I could have stayed and stared at him all afternoon and not gotten tired of the view. Those eyes...shut up!

I gathered my few items—school bag and coat—and went back to the waiting area. I could still feel the Cullen siblings eyes on the back of my head when I spotted Charlie looking relieved that I was alive and well and able to walk, or rather hobble thanks to my still injured ankle, toward him. He rushed to help me with my things.

"Bells, could you try a little harder to go one whole day without a trip to the ER?" His eyes crinkled in amusement, but I could hear the fatherly concern in his voice.

"Hey, I spent a whole week here without going to the ER." I shot back.

"You were in the hospital all week." He stated bluntly with a look of incredulity.

"Yeah, but I wasn't in the ER..." I said indignantly and heard quiet laughter behind me. When I turned to look I saw Edward turning the corner after his sister. Stupid vampire hearing. "Let's get going. We're wasting precious daylight hours." I said moodily. Charlie just laughed at my blushing, and guided me to the exit.

That night I dreamed of Edward Cullen, but not in the way you might expect. I just kept telling him to leave me alone as I ran through the forest, but at every turn, there he was with Alice right behind giggling and asking me to go shopping with them. Super annoying.

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	3. AHorribleTerribleNoGoodDay

Trigger warning!!*

This chapter will end on a dark note, so be warned. Don't worry, this is not a dark story, though it does have its dramatic moments.

Happy reading!

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Ch. 3 A Horrible Terrible No Good Day

The next morning I woke up and felt pretty good, all things considered. My ribs and arm on my left side weren't as sore, and the swelling in my right ankle had gone down a bit more. I could almost put my full weight on it. My head still hurt, but this was a major improvement from just a few days before. Things were moving right along. Sure, I was still stuck in Twilight world with no idea how I got here or how to get back, but I wasn't dead. Yup, pretty great day to breathe.

I pushed the covers away and went to the bathroom to start getting ready for school. The only reason I continued to go along with this part of the charade was because I didn't need any truant officers coming after me. I was trying, and partly failing, to stay as under the radar as possible.

When I arrived at the school, I realized how impossible it would be to stay under the radar today, the day after the biggest car accident and scandal the teenage citizens of this small town of Forks had probably ever witnessed.

Hoards of kids surrounded my—now dented—truck as soon as the engine cut off to watch me in awe and ask for details about the accident. Tyler was rumored to be in a coma in the ICU which wasn't true since I heard Dr. Cullen send him home and tell him to rest for a couple of days. His absence meant I was the sole keeper of information about the wreck. Well, except for Alice, but she sure as hell wasn't spilling the beans about anything.

I answered all their nosiness with a lot of purposely boring, standard answers like, "I feel great." And "Yeah, Alice was there, right next to me...that is really strange that you didn't see her. She was standing RIGHT THERE." I took the liberty of altering the story a bit to stress that nothing funny happened. I thought the Cullens would appreciate that and maybe continue to believe that I didn't think anything strange was happening either.

By fourth period, things had cooled off a bit finally, but this was the period when I would see the Cullens again. As I entered the gym from the locker room, I avoided any chance of eye contact with them, not even chancing a glance in the direction of where I expected they would be. However, if I would have just looked to that side of the gym, I might have noticed that they weren't there anyway because they were standing in front of the net I had played at couple of days ago. Holy shit.

"Hi Bella! Do you want to play with us today?" Alice called to me, not waiting for an answer as she danced over to the other side of the net. "You be with Edward, and I'll play with John over here." She pointed to a black haired boy with thick-rimmed glasses who merely stared at her in awed disbelieve, clearly overwhelmed with the notion of being on the same volleyball team as one of the elusive Cullen women.

I debated turning around and ignoring their offer. I mean, being thought of as rude was far better than dead, but apparently that wasn't going to be be an option for me.

"Ok, guys, listen up!" Coach Clapp called just as I turned around to walk in the opposite direction, causing me to stop. "Whoever is standing closest to you is now your partner for the remainder of the quarter." Fantastic. "We've had a few days to practice playing, but with spring Volleyball tryouts coming up in a few weeks, I want you guys to get a taste of what really playing on a team is like in hopes that it may inspire you to go tryout. We're going to have a mock tournament in a week and half, so starting now, we're having our playoffs! Get started!" He blew the whistle so loudly that my ears were left ringing. Still with my back turned to the Cullens, I put my face in my hands and sighed. It felt like this universe was out to get me...

No, you know what? Screw that! Just treat him like any other student, Iris. Be cordial, unobtrusive, and try not to kill yourself in this clumsy body. I could do this. I would do this.

I turned on my heel, relishing in the feeling of determination washing over me. I feigned good spirits and plastered an obnoxiously wide grin on my face. "Ok, partner, you ready? I'll go ahead and apologize in advance for being a terrible athlete. This body is very uncooperative and just does not do sports. I've tried, believe me." I was rambling, and Edward waited patiently, obviously amused.

"It's quite alright. I got to witness what trying to play does to you first hand, remember? How's your ankle, by the way? Shouldn't you be sitting out?" He narrowed his eyes slightly. Ugh, why did he have to look so perfect even when he made stupid accusations like that?

The mention of my ankle injury led me recall the murderous look that was in his eyes that afternoon a couple of days before and then again wonder why he was even at school rather than Alaska, and, furthermore, why was he not trying to drain me currently? "No, I feel great. It's still wrapped but much better overall. So what do you want me to do? Stand around and look pretty?" I was joking, but his eyes grew infinitesimally darker at the mention of my looks, or Bella's looks, whatever. Iris, don't say or do anything that could look like flirting! Of course Edward Cullen thinks Bella Swan is pretty!

"That shouldn't be difficult for you to do." Whoa, Casanova. Look at you trying to be smooth...Ok, not trying to be...he WAS smooth. *Swoon* And then his voice shifted back to a more playful tone, "Unless, of course, standing proves too difficult for you to do too?" His eyes were so warm, so heartbreakingly wonderf—No, stop it!

"I think I can handle it..." I trailed off, unable to break his gaze, and my heart fluttered before I could catch myself...Hold up! I shook my head suddenly to clear my thoughts. Ah, this is what being on the receiving end of "dazzling" feels like first hand.

"So are we talking or playing?" Alice yelled from across the net with a frown. She had her hands on her hip and tapped her foot in an uninterrupted staccato.

"Alice..." Edward almost growled darkly and then turned to me, upbeat again. Bella wasn't kidding. Mood swings much? "Alright, partner, ladies first? You can begin the serve, so I can see what I'm working with." He stood there smirking expectantly. Smug jerk.

I took my place, balancing the ball in one hand awkwardly as I silently prayed that I would just not embarrass or injure myself this one time. I wasn't used to being so incompetent in my own body. They always say that you should walk a mile in someone else's shoes before judging them, and here I was , literally, in Bella Swan's sneakers. The poor girl never had a chance at grace, tripping and stumbling around like a toddler who just learned to walk. It was totally ridiculous.

I held the ball away from myself, and brought my other hand back behind me, swinging it forward in hopes of hitting the ball across the net. When my wrist made contact with the ball, I watched as it travelled smoothly in almost the correct trajectory, and I was feeling pretty good about myself. Alice's teammate, John, readied himself to punt it back, but at the last second, the ball clipped the top of the net, slingshotting it back toward me. In my haste to not let it hit the ground, I lurched forward for the ball and ran straight into Edward's solid rock back.

"Oof!" I landed right on my ass in an expected, but not so graceful, way. So Bella... I couldn't help the tears that formed as my nose throbbed in pain. Oh shit! Look for blood, Iris! Blood is death! I fumbled around on my face and the ground, feeling to make sure none was dripping. Thankfully, I didn't find anything. You might just live to see another day, Iris.

"I'm so sorry! Bella, are you alright?" Edward appeared frantically at my side as he crouched on the ground.

"Yes, yes. I'm used to being so accident-prone it's practically a handicap at this point. No blood, no foul." I shooed him off before he could start his characteristic broody, self-loathing thing.

He made a funny look at me when I mentioned blood, but didn't say anything, of course. "You do seem to find yourself in some rather precarious situations. Is it always like this for you or is this a recent development since you've come to Forks?" He chuckled at my expense.

"Umm...it's complicated." I wasn't this accident prone before coming to Forks, but I guessed Bella was very used to accidents based off the books and her medical history Carlisle had briefly mentioned to me at the hospital.

"How so? Did you suffer memory loss when you hit your head? He but his lip as if to keep himself from laughing at me further.

Hmm, memory loss...that could work for my cover. "Something like that."

Edward then appeared genuinely concerned. "I really think you should sit this game out. I'll request another team mate or become a third on Alice's team. I'm sure Coach Clapp won't mind since you're in no condition to play." Before I could say anything, he turned and jogged over to where the coach was sitting, speaking in a hushed voice so I couldn't hear their conversation. The coach looked almost angry for a second, then laughed out loud at something Edward said, looking over to where I had seated myself on the bleachers still holding my injured nose, and nodded back at Edward.

Edward ambled back over to me, looking self-satisfied as always, and said, "It's all taken care of. No more gym for you this year."

"This year? Fine by me. Thanks, that's less chance for ER visits or trips to prison when another stray ball is sure to strike and kill someone." I shrugged. Edward tossed his head back easily and laughed, sitting down beside me.

"What are you doing? Don't you need to go find a new team?" I asked a little too eagerly. Ignore me, Edward. I'm boring. I'm not the real Bella. I'm just trying to survive this story long enough to get home. Well, if going home was even still possible...

"No, Coach Clapp said I could wait until the end of the period here with you since the other teams are all mid-game. So, what brought you to Forks?"

"A plane." I deadpanned. What was he doing?

Edward rolled his eyes. "Excuse me, shall I rephrase? Why did you decide to come to Forks? Why leave the sun and warmth of Phoenix? Most people enjoy warmer climates."

"It's complicated." I'm not biting, you ridiculously handsome vampire.

"That seems to be a recurring problem for you, but I'm sure I can keep up." He batted his lusciously thick, dark eyelashes ever so slightly, and my own eyes grew wide.

Oh no, that's the line from the book. It's happening. We're bonding despite my best efforts to avoid this exact scenario. What to do? "Yeah, I'm...uhhh...not feeling too well. I think I'll go see the nurse for some Advil or an ice pack or something..." I jumped up, trying to make a clean getaway, but he wasn't having it.

"I'll walk with you." He insisted. Of course you will. Gah, he's perfect in every humanly and non-humanly way. If I didn't know his dirty little secret and how this story could go for me, and if I wasn't so desperate to get back to the predictable safety of my own world, I would easily fall for him.

"I'm sure I can make it alone." I sputtered out.

"Please, allow me. I wouldn't feel right leaving you to go on your own since I'm the other party involved in your most recent accident. Besides, you might find trouble on your way there." He teased.

Ok, fine. He wasn't wrong, and I didn't know what to expect with this danger-magnet body in which I was trapped. Would one short walk to the nurse's office together hurt? "Ok. Thank you." His smile widened to a dazzling white, and I blinked at his other-worldly beauty once more.

He walked silently along side me to the nurse'S office where I proceeded to over-exaggerate my pain to gain access to some Tylenol.

"You're a terrible actress. I already got you out of participating in any organized athletics for the remainder of the year. Did you also need to get out of the actual gym that badly?" He laughed, and it sounded like music to my ears.

"It was just a bit crowded in there." Hah. I laughed to myself at my re-worked use of the line from the book. Edward looked at me, a question in his eyes, but didn't speak for a few moments longer.

"Would you like to sit with me at lunch?" I started at his sudden subject change. That was sudden.

"I haven't annoyed you enough yet?" Whyyyy?

"Of course not. I find you...fascinating. You're very difficult to read."

Don't say it. Don't say it. "Then you must be a good reader." Damn. I truly let myself down with that one.

"Usually." His eyes twinkled...like literally twinkled.

"Sure, why not?" Why did I say that?! Hmm, I don't know, Iris. Why not? I can think of approximately one hundred reasons exactly why not, but the most important one is that James and his coven could eventually kill you or seriously harm you if you're not careful enough to dodge the Cullens. Sure...why not eat lunch with Edward, inevitably charm him with your wit and Bella's impeccably pure face of innocence, string him along, and start the saga of vampire wars all the way to the point of needing Volturi interception? Sure, why not? I needed to stop this compulsive behavior I was displaying, and I needed to stop it right now. "You know what? I just remembered that I have a dentist appointment today, so ummm...I'm leaving now. Maybe we can eat together another day. Goodbye!" I ran to my truck before he could respond, and after backing up and darting out of the lot, I sped down the road.

I didn't know where I was going or what would happen when I finally got there, but I knew I was done watching myself fall into the Twilight plot trap. Edward was perfect. If I stayed, I would do anything to keep him, maybe even eventually chase him into battle with the Volturi, assuming he fell for me, which I suppose he might not, since I wasn't actually Bella Swan. But still, I could see the potential for the beginning of a long line of disasters which may or may not end in a happily ever after, and that potential was enough to scare me into running before things got any crazier.

I should have done this all along, escaped on the road, leaving Forks and all its danger behind me, so I could focus on finding a way back to my world. I laughed to myself at how simple this plan truly was. It had been nearly two weeks since I had arrived here, and the hope of getting back by just by riding this story out seemed to dwindle away more and more with each passing day.

I was sitting at a stoplight near the diner at the edge of town, regrouping and still unsure of where I was headed when I saw lights flashing behind me. Crap. I didn't think that I had been speeding, and I wasn't sure what other infraction I might have made to warrant being pulled over. With a sigh of resignation, I moved the truck to the side of the road. There was no chance of winning a police chase in this monster.

I looked in my side mirror just in time to catch a glance of a middle-aged, tall, lanky man dressed in a deputy's uniform smoothing back his already slicked back gray-blonde hair. He approached my driver's side window slowly, and tapped on the glass. Oh right, need to roll that down. I had never been pulled over by a police officer before, and I was still wracking my brain as to what may have caused this.

"Excuse me, Miss Swan?" The deputy addresses me in a casual voice, a cop voice.

"Uhhh yeah that's me." What the...?

"We received an anonymous tip at the station from a concerned friend who told us you might be headed out of Forks for good, and your father asked me to come find you since he was outside of town right at the moment. Is there any truth to this tip?" Holy hell. Who would even know where I was—Alice! He looked mildly entertained, but also kind of bored. It must really suck to have to go chase down your boss's delinquent daughter.

"No, of course not. I was just going to stop at the diner on my way home..." I mumbled.

He raised an eyebrow at my lame excuse. "Shouldn't you be at school?" He countered.

"Half day today." I lied with a shrug. Just go away, Officer Nosey!

"Right. Well, since my son, Jeffrey, also attends Forks High and is a junior too, I know that's not true. Why don't you just go on and make your way back to school, and I'll let you off with a warning this time. If you need help getting back, I'd be happy to offer you a ride." He motioned to his car, still with one eyebrow raised as if to say "_I'm not letting you escape, so be a good girl and mosey along."_

I quietly sighed to myself. "Ok, Officer..."

"Perkins." He supplied.

"Yeah, Officer Perkins. Thank you for not taking me back to my dad. I'll get right back to the school...no delays." I forced a smile as I silently cursed the Cullens. Why did they even care so much?! I hadn't shown the least bit of concern for them. I didn't fawn over Edward, or follow him around with my big brown puppy dog eyes making accusations or trying to force information out of him like the cannon Bella had. I didn't throw myself at any of them, but here they were still trying to control my life from afar. What the hell was up with this?

I grumbled to myself the whole way back to the school. I might have doubled back and tried to run again, but I noticed Officer Nosey followed me back to the school for the entire trip, not leaving my sight until I was stepping out of my truck in the parking lot.

By the time I got back to class it was just in time to catch the last ten minutes of sixth period. My unexplained late arrival earned me a week of detention beginning this afternoon. Fan-frickin-tastic. If nothing else, this experience certainly reminded my 29 year old self how much I actually hated high school and being treated like a child.

When the bell rang, I made my way to seventh period Spanish with Mrs. Goff. Despite being in Forks for nearly two weeks, this would be my first time making it this far through the school day thanks to all my fun accidents, and I grinned darkly to myself at the thought. Star student award goes to you, Iris!

I wasn't too worried about this particular class because I minored in Spanish in college. I trudged through the rain with my hood up, hoping to avoid any of my persistent escorts—i.e. Mike, Jessica, or Eric. When I reached the class, I slammed my books down on the only empty desk in frustration, which apparently amused someone sitting in the desk to my right. I paused at the familiar chuckle. No! I changed my schedule to avoid this and wound up in two classes with him?! Sitting to my right was Edward Cullen AND a huge beast of a man who shared his golden eyes surrounded by dark circles. Emmett Cullen. Holy frickin shit.

I turned to glare at the golden eyed vampire, no longer afraid to hide my displeasure with how things were going here lately. "What's so funny?" Say it. I dare you to out yourself right now! Tell me how your sister called the police station after she "saw" where I was going. Do it.

"Nothing...inside joke." He offered. "How did your dentist appointment go?" He grinned in feigned innocence.

I stared back at him in disbelief, breathing deeply and trying to resist the urge to smack him. I knew that violence against a rock would only send me back to Forks Hospital with a broken hand, so I controlled myself. "I mixed up the date." I gritted out, and he looked like he was biting back a smile again.

"That's too bad. I hope it wasn't to treat anything too painful." He beamed. I oughtta just—no, no. Don't do anything stupid, McGee.

"Nope. Just a cleaning. I try to avoid anything that's not healthy for me." I looked at him pointedly. He frowned in confusion, but I was over caring what he thought of me. Let him speculate.

"I'm glad that you are so thorough with your oral hygiene since you're not as careful with the rest of your body." He smiled back angelically, and I was sure he was antagonizing me.

That's it. Game over. "Excuse me?" My blood was boiling. Did my overheated body intensity his bloodlust for me? Oh well, who gives a shit? Not me.

"You know, all of your..._accidents_." He said with emphasis on the last word.

Oh, screw Isabella Swan. He would feel the wrath of Iris McGee for that. "Excuse me? My health and well-being are NONE of your business. Thank you for your concern, though. I have survived most of my life without help from anyone, and I'm sure I'll make it a few more years alone at least." I spoke truthfully.

Back in the real world, I had come from an abusive household and emancipated myself at the age of 16. Anything I had earned, I had done on my own. Edward didn't necessarily deserve my anger, not knowing who he was actually talking to, but I needed to distance myself from him anyway. It was a matter of survival at this point. I heard a low snicker escape Emmett's mouth, but he shut right up when I focused my glare on him instead.

Edward pursed his lips, narrowed his eyes, and turned back to face the front with his arms folded neatly across his chest.

Mrs. Goff began her lecture, and I can honestly say I didn't hear a word of it. I was hyper-aware of Edward stealing glances at me as I tried to ignore him for the whole hour. When the bell rang, I gathered my books and stood to leave with the intent to continue ignoring him, but of course that didn't happen. Edward Cullen would always get his way since I could never fully block him out.

"Bella?" I closed my eyes, suppressing the urge to sigh. I turned my head infinitesimally in his direction, not willing to meet his eyes.

After a moment of silence when he must have realized that I wasn't going to respond, he spoke once more, "I apologize if I did anything to offend you. I won't bother you anymore if my presence is so aggravating for you."

He seemed genuinely hurt, and I couldn't understand it. Edward didn't know me. He couldn't possibly. Why was he so upset by my rejection? Wasn't he suppose to be one of the standoffish Cullens, who couldn't be bothered with the human girls who threw themselves at him?

It almost broke my resolve when I finally met his sincere gaze, but then I reminded myself that it was for both of our goods. His family would avoid the chaos that came with the Edward-Bella drama fest, and I could focus on getting back to my world. I had been telling myself that I wanted to go back so desperately, but if I was being honest with myself, I had secretly enjoyed meeting all my favorite book characters in person. My goal now that I had seen the negative side of being here more times than I could count, was to really attempt to get back. I had a new plan I was formulating to test my latest theory, but I couldn't finish deciding the details since I realized my friendly neighborhood vampires were watching my decisions so closely.

I returnee to my present reality, and I realized that Edward was still standing before me waiting for a response. I figured I could at least throw the dog a bone without jeopardizing anything. "You've been nothing but lovely Edward. I just am not trying to make any friends or long-lasting connections while I'm here...err...in Forks. I'll be leaving for college in a year, and plan to go as far away from here as possible. I'm not a big fan of this particular...climate." I chose my words carefully. I had no clue what would happen when I left here. Would Bella just resume life like normal? Would she remember this experience from the new story line I had created, or would she be like an amnesia patient with a huge blank space for the weeks I had been here? Or would she not exist at all when I left?

Edward studied me for a few seconds longer before seeming to decide on something. He nodded curtly, and strode out the door without looking back. Ouch.

•PTaT•

With thoughts of book Bella and Edward's obvious pain after my rejection reeling through my mind, I laid in bed feeling extremely guilty for having taken up this time and changed their narrative in such a significant way. It wasn't like I had chosen to come here, though. I couldn't even remember how I got here aside from waking up in this body to Charlie Swan standing over me, and who's to say their story didn't get right back on track once I vacated the premises?

With that last hopeful thought, I decided that it was time to execute my latest—and most desperate—plan to go home. I wasn't particularly keen on going through with it, but this was my one last ditch effort. I knew I had to act fast, so Alice wouldn't have time to see and interrupt me again. I dashed down the hall to the bathroom and snatched the untouched bottle of prescribed narcotics that Charlie had filled for me on the way home from the hospital. I ran back to my room, and quickly tossed back a handful of pills, downed a half a glass of water, and then finished off the rest of the pill bottle with the other half of the glass of water. I gagged a little at the bitter flavor remaining in the back of my throat then made my way to the bed and laid down under the covers. I bundled myself up under the thick cotton comforter, imagining what it might feel like to return back to the real world.

I knew this wasn't going to be pretty since I had taken care of many unsuccessful overdoses in my near decade of nursing, but this seemed to be the most peaceful way to end my time here. With all hope, I would pass out and stop breathing long before I could consciously realize what was happening.

After about a half hour, I got my wish, and my eyes grew extremely heavy as I allowed myself to drift away...

•PTaT•

"Seventeen year old Caucasian female found unresponsive in her bed. Resuscitative efforts started by family and continued in the field by EMTs. Pt. received one dose of Narcan and vitals stabilized in route to the ED. Current B-P 110 over 68, heart rate 98, and respirations 18." A male voice called.

My head felt heavy and sluggish. Everything was too bright as the lights passed over my face one after another. The blurred rush of light made my stomach lurch, and there was a constant ringing in my ears that just wouldn't stop.

I was in a busy hall, packed with several men and women in scrubs. I was back a work in the ER, that much was obvious, but why was the ground moving? Wait, the ground isn't moving...I am. Why was I lying down on a gurney? Had I been in an accident on my way to work? Seventeen year old female? That was laughable. Narcan? Why would I need Narcan? Oh no. Seventeen year old female given Narcan. I'm still Bella Swan. I overdosed. My plan to go peacefully and move on to my other world didn't work. Holy. Shit.

Even in my now panic-stricken mind, my eyes grew heavy once more, and a dark fog cascaded around me as I unwillingly fell back asleep.

•PTaT•

"Bella?" It was a warm voice which awakened me. I knew that voice from somewhere. I hesitantly opened my eyes, and saw Dr. Cullen standing at the foot of my bed looking over a paper chart. Oh right, I overdosed. I'm back in the hospital. Fuck.

"Dr. Cullen?" I croaked. I sounded like death and felt like it too.

"Bella, do you know where you are?" He asked calmly, patiently.

"I think it's safe to assume the hospital since that's the only place we ever cross paths." I attempted a joke which fell flat.

Dr. Cullen's eyes were hard, disappointed. Then they softened. Oh no. He thinks I wanted to kill myself. I mean, I did, but not really to die...Not the way he probably thinks. He's about to give me the 'you're special and loved and wanted' speech. Or maybe he would just refer me to a therapist. That wouldn't be so bad. At least it would be a stranger...

"Bella, You were found unconscious and not breathing near an empty bottle of Percocet at your home. We ran a drug screen, and it was positive for opioids. Chief Swan was able to confirm that you had not been taking any medication prior to earlier today." Well, well, well. Charlie Swan may not hover, but he's certainly been paying more attention than I ever gave him credit for while reading the books. "Would it be reasonable for me to deduce that you took an entire bottle of Percocet at once?"

I looked down, not willing to to meet his kind, concerned eyes. This was awful, god awful. I hated that I couldn't explain that I wasn't suicidal, just desperate to travel back to where I came from, and I had stupidly thought this might work. "Yes." I whispered, but of course he picked up the small noise with his sensitive hearing.

"May I ask why you felt the need to do so?"

I felt like a child who got caught stealing a cookie from the jar before dinner, except a million times worse, and this was far more extreme. "I don't know." I really didn't. Now, reassessing my decision, I realized how ridiculous and selfish it had been to even attempt. Even if I had gone back to my old life, book Bella most likely would have been dead. I practically murdered another person—fictional character or not, the exact opposite of what I had dedicated my life's work to doing. Charlie would be without his daughter. Edward would never find his true mate. My hardened exterior I had been using as a defense mechanism was suddenly in shambles, and my body began to quake with realization.

"Oh God, what have I done?" I sputtered out between hushed sobs, only to myself, but Dr. Cullen heard and moved to place his hand on my shoulder. He didn't speak, and I appreciated that. He remained there, offering support silently, as I bawled for who knows how long.

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	4. MakingAmends

Ch. 4 Making Amends

In the following weeks, I felt more at a loss than ever since arriving in this world. None of my attempts at going back to the real world had worked, and that last stupid idea had nearly killed me, which was the purpose, sure, but who the hell tries to kill themself to live?! Like what kind of sense does that make?!

I finally reached the conclusion that for whatever reason, this was my new life—a second chance I never asked for—and I should respect it more. I mean, it wasn't a terrible existence. I needed to be VERY careful all the time to avoid trips to the hospital, but that last one was obviously my fault.

Charlie grounded me, not as punishment, but to keep a close eye on me. Once I had been released from my mandatory 72 hour monitoring at the hospital for my suicide attempt, he decided to cut back his work hours so that he would be home when I arrived back from school each day and only worked half days on the weekend. This only added to my guilt because I knew he had still been busy with the missing hiker investigation. I was only further complicating everyone's lives and causing undue stress in my attempts to "fix" my own.

The look in his eyes when I saw him that first time after I woke up in the hospital broke me. Here he was being the best father he could be, and I—his supposed daughter—was behaving erratically and putting my life at risk over and over again. I had never been close to my parents, and I didn't know how to be a good daughter because being a good daughter back home had always entailed being as silent as possible or just staying out of the way all together when my father was in one of his frequently drunken states, hence my independent nature. But Charlie Swan deserved better.

Thankfully, after years of therapy, I had felt like I could break the cycle, and now I had this extraordinary chance to finally prove to myself that I could live in and be a part of a normal, functioning family. I needed to appreciate this opportunity for what it was, Twilight characters or not.

As I silently worked through my issues, Edward ignored me for weeks. I mean, I deserved it after the way I had treated him. He and his sister had tried to keep me safe, no matter what their motivations were, and I had acted like a jerk.

After nearly a month of radio silence, I decided to apologize to him. He had avoided me, per usual, in gym, and since I was still sitting out, I didn't have a chance to speak with him that period. I figured trying to address him directly at lunch would be pointless because the rest of his family would be there, and plus I had avoided going to the lunchroom ever since my return to school that next week, instead electing to spend my afternoons in the library to catch up on all the schoolwork I had missed. I needed to get my shit together if I was going to take this life seriously.

I was no longer the exciting, shiny, new toy since my classmates heard about all the accidents and my shameful suicide attempt. Now people seemed to just see me as a freak and avoided crossing my path as much as possible. I laughed bitterly to myself at the extremes it took to finally get what I had thought that I wanted, total seclusion. Now that I had decided to really embrace my time here, I was truly alone.

Spanish class was my last chance to speak with Edward this particular February afternoon. Once I reached the classroom, I walked to my desk—which was opportunistically sitting right next to his—and with a deep breath and a silent prayer, I turned to face him head on.

"Edward?" He narrowed his eyes, and I blushed. Deep breaths, Iris. It's fine. Everything is A-OK.

"I'm sorry, are you speaking to me again?" He sounded upset. Yikes.

"Umm, yes?" Do the doe-eyes. He can't resist Bella's face!

His eyes softened slightly, but his lips remained in a tight line. "Right, so get on with it. What is it?" Ouch. He's still mad. I mean, I hadn't really said anything yet to change his attitude, so I don't know what I had expected.

"I just...could I speak with you, privately, after class?" I glanced nervously at the Emmett sitting on his other side and back to him. I bit my lower lip. Hmm, so I must have gotten that nervous habit from Bella too or maybe Edward just brings out a new, insecure side of myself.

He looked to Emmett and seemed to deliberate for a moment before shrugging exasperatedly with an eye roll, and shaking his head. "Fine, but you should know that your communication with me might risk a friendship forming." His expression was unreadable.

Was that a joke? I couldn't tell. I decided to play his own game per the books. "I never meant that I didn't want to be friends, only that it would better if we weren't. I wouldn't want to disappoint you when I leave is all."

"You think very highly of the effect of your presence on others, don't you?" There was a hint of a smile in his eyes. He was definitely playing with me.

"I'm very lovable. It's my worst character flaw." I batted my eyelashes, noting how easy he was to talk to. I had always pictured him as intense and mopey when reading the books. Maybe the movie version of him had influenced my perception of him too greatly.

"So I see." He actually cracked a small smile that time. Yes! I had him! Wait, why was this so important to me...?

"¡ Atención, clase! Es hora de que la lección comience." I turned back to face Mrs. Goff as she started her lecture.

I smiled to myself, still blushing after the small compliment Edward had given me, and were those butterflies in my stomach? What was I twelve? He's trapped in the body of a seventeen year old boy, Iris. This is practically pedophilia. Although, you're in the body of a seventeen year old girl so...And he's got the mind of a hundred year old vampire. Would it really be that bad to be interested? Hadn't you always admired his love for Bella? Although, he did have control issues, but I could handle that no problem. I wasn't like sweet little, meek Bella, despite our shared looks. Couldn't that also be a problem though? I wasn't Bella. Bella was his true mate. She was who he wanted, needed. I was Iris McGee, a far cry from Bella Swan.

I had been stewing to myself for most of the class when the bell rang and I literally jumped out of my thoughts. I looked around, red-faced and heart racing, as everyone began shuffling out the door excited to finally be on their way home. It was Friday afternoon, so all the students were chatting about weekend plans and getting to sleep in for two days in a row, you know, typical teenage stuff.

"Ahem." I looked up to see Edward standing beside my desk, looking down at me. The fluorescent light above him seemed to form a halo around his head. I snorted, earning myself a raised brow from him. He was a good person, but I knew all too well that he was no angel. "You wanted to speak to me?" His tone was clipped again.

"Yes..." I hesitated to continue. How to proceed? I always felt so awkward when it came to expressing my emotions to others aside from anger. That one came naturally... Most of the time I used humor as a defense mechanism to avoid the gushy stuff. I was aware of these deficits in my personality, but, alas, it was very difficult to improve upon one's self. Introspection was for the birds as far as I was concerned.

"Well, I'm listening, but I don't have all day. Alice and the others will not wait long for me take them home, and my other sister, Rosalie, knows how to hotwire a car and will not hesitate to do so if I'm not there soon. I'm not exactly in the mood to walk home in this rain..." He finished, staring at me pointedly. I guess Edward Cullen wasn't as patient as I had always pinned him to be when he spoke to Bella in the books. Although, he liked book Bella much more than he seemed to like me, and I hadn't given him much reason to feel otherwise.

Just spit it out, McGee. "Sorry for the way I've treated you recently. I realize that I've made many, many mistakes in my short time here, and even before I arrived, not that you would care about then, but anyway, I'm trying to make amends with those I've hurt. I just want a clean slate if you'll forgive me." I was staring at the white speckled tiles on the floor as if there were some reason I needed to memorize the design. Just say thank you and leave, Cullen. This silence is killing me. It's so awkward.

"Bella?" My thoughts were spiraling out of control, so I momentarily forgot that was my name here. I didn't respond quickly enough, so after a few moments of consideration he carefully reached his finger out and lifted my chin so I would meet his eyes. When he saw that I was paying attention, he stated simply, "You're forgiven."

I didn't even react to his icy, cold touch. I expected the decreased temperature, but, boy, was his skin smooth. Oh, and those molten, golden lava eyes..."Umm...thanks. So fresh start then?"

"Absolutely." Why was he so willing to hang around me, a human? I mean, I don't want to complain, but how had our roles become reversed with me pushing him away and him being the one to forgive my cryptic rudeness too quickly? Very strange.

"Great. See you later...buddy."

He chuckled as I walked away, but I thought I heard him say something quietly to himself that sounded like, "Yes, later." Ok, Creepward.

I walked out to the parking lot feeling a lot better with some of my problems resolved. I caught sight of Angela Webber and even decided to ask her about her weekend plans. She seemed like a genuinely kind person in the books, and we hadn't really had a chance to talk between her introversion and my bratty behavior toward everyone. Surprisingly enough she accepted my offer to go see a movie in Port Angeles Saturday night. She also invited me to go to La Push with the group that same morning. Knowing it would give me a chance to finally meet Jacob, I was all in. If I was going to be trapped in Twilight, I might as well meet all of my favorite characters, right?

Thanks to my new found perspective and acceptance that nothing here was in my control, I felt lighter, more buoyant, and excited. I hadn't even been to the hospital in over a month! Things were looking up for me, after all. I probably shouldn't think things like that though...

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	5. DaddyIssues

Ch. 5 Daddy Issues

"Hi, dad!" I smiled widely as I closed the front door behind me. I was still riding the high from my earlier conversation with Edward and then making plans with Angela for the next day.

"Hi...you're in a good mood." Charlie was distracted as he rested in his recliner watching an old Redskins versus Giants game.

"What? I can't be happy?"

"No...I mean yes, but you just seem a little keyed up, Bells." Charlie looked suspicious.

"I'm just excited, I guess. Hey, some of the kids at school are going down to First Beach tomorrow. Do you think I could be released on good behavior? Angela Webber wants to see a movie with me in Port Angeles tomorrow night too."

Charlie turned off the T.V. Uh oh. That can't be good. This man loves his T.V. more than a soccer mom loves wine...and that's a lot.

"Look, honey, it's not that I don't want you to have fun but—" he started, but I cut him off.

"I want to see Jacob." Maybe if I mentioned his best friend's son then he'd sing a different tune about this.

"Jacob?"

"Yeah. Jacob Black. I haven't seen him since that first night here..." Charlie looked at me funny. Wasn't that right? In the book he showed up with Billy Black after he showed Bella her truck...oh shit. That was the movie. Shit shit shit.

"When did you see Jake?" Charlie narrowed his eyes.

"I didn't. I just meant that I wanted to thank Billy and Jacob for the truck." Great cover, idiot. How many times have you read this book, Iris? How many times?!

"You're a terrible liar, Bells." He accused.

"I'm not lying! I'll call him right now in front of you and invite him to the beach tomorrow. You can speak with him yourself. Actually, let's invite them over for dinner tonight. Maybe they can bring some of Harry's fish fry over. You've got plenty of fish in the freezer I could cook."

"Ok, ok. Take a breath."

"Sorry...So is that a yes?" Doe-eyes. Use the doe-eyes. Wow I'm a manipulative bitch sometimes.

"I'll call Billy and see if he has any of that fish fry if you really want, but I'm not sure that I'm ready for you to go all the way to Port Angeles on your own tomorrow."

Fair enough. I wasn't a child internally, but externally I was a seventeen year old girl who had tried to run away from home and then attempted suicide. Knowing how this must have affected Charlie, I wasn't going to argue like a petulant child with him. Besides, I would still get to see Jacob if they came for dinner.

"That's ok. I'll go call Angela to cancel. Do you want me to call Billy?"

Charlie frowned at me. At first I didn't understand why, but after a moment of thinking about it I realized that it was very un-Bella-like of me to not argue with Charlie about being an almost adult who could make her own choices on how to spend my time.

"What? Did you expect a fight?" I laughed.

"Well...kind of...you're letting your old man down by giving in so easily." His eyes crinkled at the edges when he smiled. It made him look younger, more handsome. He was only about ten years older than I had been in my original body.

"Sorry..." I trailed off, but the word hung heavier in the air than I had intended. The lighthearted feeling was suddenly replaced with a thick fog of tension. "...for everything."

"Bella..." Charlie sighed, and I went to sit down next to him. Over the last month of pretending to be Charlie's daughter, I had actually begun to feel like I fit the role. He was a really great father. "I just don't understand. I know you don't love Forks, but you sounded happy enough to volunteer to come here when your mom and Phil decided to move around. Is it something I..." he took a deep breath, obviously trying to hide the tears that were forming at the brim of his eyes.

"No." I placed my hand over his which were clasped together in his lap. "You've been great, really. I've loved spending so much time with you since you've been home more. Thank you for looking after me."

His face took on a pained expression. I had expected him to be happy that his seemingly teenage daughter enjoyed spending time with her dad.

Instead his expression almost changed to muted terror. "Is that why? I left you alone too much, and you were lonely, Bells? Are you saying that if I was home more you might not of..." he was fully crying now. Damnit. That wasn't what I'd meant at all. How could I make him understand and not lie without revealing the true reason for my destructive behavior? He definitely would not understand if I told him the truth.

"It's not that at all. I..." I paused so I could choose my words carefully, something that I was not exceptionally practiced at doing. "It's just that I've...I've had my own issues to work through. I was confused when I first got here. Yes, I was lonely, but that was only part of it. Coming here felt like I was losing a part of myself, and in that one stupidly selfish act I somehow convinced myself that I could get that part of myself back...like if I went through with it, I would be back to normal." I knew my message was convoluted, much less than he deserved, but I hoped that on some level he could understand my desperation. I wished he would see that my recent behavior had nothing to do with him at all.

"Why would...killing...yourself..." he gritted out slowly, obviously mentally reliving that awful day. "Make you feel normal? You wouldn't feel anything. You wouldn't exist." He looked back and forth between my eyes, searching for the answers that I couldn't give. God, I'm such an ass.

"That's exactly what I realized when I woke up in the hospital. When I took those pills I was crazy out of my mind. Bonkers. Certifiable. But I've turned over a new leaf, I swear it. I've made some friends and decided that I like it—maybe even love it—here. There's a certain charm to this little town. Plus the chief of police is pretty amazing, I hear." I smiled sincerely at him, hoping I could lighten the mood. "Why don't we forget about Billy and Jacob? Let's order pizza and watch the game."

Charlie gave me an incredulous look. "Since when do you like football?"

"Since now. Who's playing? The Giants? They suck. I hope the Redskins give 'em hell!"

At that, he burst into laughter, nearly falling out of his chair. After a few minutes, he was holding his side, gasping for air, and wiping at his eyes.

"What's so funny?" I side-eyed him.

"You...you..." He was still having trouble catching his breath. I was starting to review the signs of a stroke in my mind. "Never in a million years...did I think...I'd hear you cheer on a football team." He coughed to clear his throat. "You've made me proud, Bells. Maybe this Washington air has done you some good after all." He chuckled.

I could only roll my eyes and smile affectionately for my new quasi father-figure. He was one of the good ones.

"Hey Cha—dad?" I corrected, totally unnoticed.

"Huh?" He grunted as he turned back to the screen and shifted around to get more comfortable in his chair.

"Could I go fishing with you in the morning?" The fit of laughter ensued. What the hell? Did I break Charlie?

"You're going to go fishing?" I nodded and he nearly choked on his beer. "Near water?"

I nodded again and sighed in exasperation. "Yes, how else would I fish?"

"In a padded room would be the safest start." He quipped, wiping his eyes again.

"Oh come on! It's been months since I went to the hospital for anything. I haven't even gotten a cut—" I looked over at the baseball sized bruise on my shoulder where I had run into the doorframe the day before. "Well nothing lasting anyway."

Charlie bit back a smile when he noticed the direction of my gaze. "Alright, but if you fall into the water and make me have to resuscitate you, you're grounded."

"I'm already grounded." I deadpanned.

"Then you're double grounded." He tried to look tough with his "cop face."

"Do you even know CPR?"

"Give your old man some credit. I'm a cop. I get re-certified every two years. Now hush. I thought you wanted to watch the game?" He snapped, but I could tell he was fighting laughter again.

I didn't say anything else after that. Every few minutes I would sneak glances with a slight smile over to where Charlie sat looking happier than he had since I had arrived. We watched the game that way, in amiable silence, enjoying one other's company just like father and daughter for the remainder of the evening.

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	6. IntoTheWoods

Ch. 6 Into the Woods

The next morning, after I called Angela—who sounded legitimately disappointed—to cancel, I convinced Charlie that I actually did want to go with him to his favorite fishing spot. I really liked Charlie. When I read the books, I kind of just discounted the way Bella brushed him off all the time because I had never had a good relationship with my own parents. I couldn't relate, but now that I was here and saw the real, breathing man standing in front of me and was the recipient of all that fatherly love and devotion, I could bitch slap Bella back to the Middle Ages for those times when she chose her supernatural drama over spending time with him.

I had never been fishing before, but how hard could it be? You put a worm on a hook, toss it in the water, and fish bite. Pretty elementary stuff...

"Ok, good, now cast your line." Jacob instructed me after I got the bait hooked, trying not to laugh as I dodged said hook which swung back toward me when I stumbled.

He and Billy had coincidentally—or maybe not so coincidentally—already been at the little hidden pond when Charlie and I arrived. I had the sneaking suspicion that Billy and Charlie arranged the meeting without mine or Jacob's knowledge because when we came up behind the pair I overheard Jake whining to Billy, "I still don't understand what I'm doing here so early. I could've been asleep right now!" His tone changed when he turned around and saw me walking toward them. He looked me up and down with a smile playing on his lips. I almost snorted when I noticed him rearranging his shorts. Gross. He was only like 15. Barf.

"What the he—Err—how do I cast the line?" I growled. Fishing was not easy. I'm not too proud to admit when I'm wrong.

"Come on, Bells, I taught you this stuff before you could barely hold a fishing pole. Stop embarrassing me." Charlie chided. He had been heckling me since the beginning of this whole debacle.

"Oh come now, Charlie. You know it's harder for girls with their lack of upper body strength. They were never meant to be the hunters." Billy mused, garnering a hearty laugh from Charlie. Son of a bitch. I had never pegged him as a bigot. The more they laughed, I was seeing red. Billy and Charlie only laughed harder at my expense.

"Dad! What the hell?" Jake piped up just as I readied myself for the pounce.

"I'm only joking, Jacob. Get your panties out of a bunch. Bella knows I didn't mean it. Besides, your mother would roll over in her grave if I really believed that way, and your sisters would disown me." He laughed easily.

"Good riddance." Jacob mumbled low enough that only I could hear as he turned back to help with my line. Apparently Jacob was suffering from a little sibling rivalry.

I sighed in relief that I wasn't going to have to verbally castrate Charlie or Billy as a service to society, but was still frustrated with the lack of fish in my bucket.

"That's it. I'm doing it my way." I positioned the pole back over my shoulder.

"You probably shouldn't—" Jacob started, but I cut him off because I had this. The men were just over-complicating this whole thing.

"Fire in the hole!" I called out and flung the hook toward the water, but I didn't account for how close I was to the water's edge or the direction the hook swung when it got stuck in my ponytail. I tried to swat the line away, lost my footing, and fell backward, waving wildly all the way down. Just as I anticipated hitting the freezing cold water, two russet hands reached out and caught me. Damnit, Jacob Black, why are you and the Cullens always having to save me? Can't I just have this one moment?

"This is not really your thing, is it?" Jacob snickered as he unhooked my hair.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "No, but you should see me with a needle." I didn't mean it as a threat, but my tone came across much harsher than intended.

"What? Like tattoos?" Jacob didn't seem to notice my frustration.

"Never mind. Hey, what is there to do around here?" We were at the edge of La Push. I could hear the ocean somewhere close calling to me. I glanced over my shoulder toward Billy and Charlie who were seven beers in and looking pretty drowsy.

"We could go down to the beach." Jacob suggested. Bingo.

"Cool. Lemme just tell Charlie where we're going, and we can head over there." I walked to where Charlie sat dozing with his fishing pole propped against his chair. His eyes were closed and his hands were folded lazily across his chest as he leaned back. He wasn't snoring yet, so I knew he was awake.

"Dad? I'm going with Jake to the beach, ok?"

"Hmph." The noise sounded affirmative, so I shrugged and turned back to Jake.

"Let's go." I stomped off, but Jake grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, redirecting me the opposite way.

"Sorry, this way's faster." He smiled, showing off his pearly whites, the color stark against his dark skin. Man, he is very pretty, not that I was interested. Firstly, he's a baby. Secondly, I was not going to start that stupid Twilight love triangle thing. If anything, I should have probably planned on leaving Forks and spending some time alone one of these days.

•PTaT•

The sea was calm today, but the wind blew my hair around my face. I was bundled up because it was below freezing out, and my teeth were starting to chatter now that there weren't any trees around to block the wind. Stupid, freezing cold Forks. I was from Atlanta which was lush and green in some areas, but for the most part it was a cement jungle of buildings. Freezing was the coldest the temperature dropped down to most of the time, but even that was just a couple of times per year. I was used to sweltering, hot temperatures eighty percent of the year. This rainy, wet mess of weather could go to hell as far as I was concerned.

"Ugh, maybe this was a bad idea." I complained as I flicked a stray hair away from my face for what felt like the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. I looked over to Jacob who seemed totally at home in the disgusting climate.

"You're not a fan of the cold, huh." It was said as a statement, not a question.

"No, not quite. Maybe we should go find our fathers and just go home..."

"No!" Jacob nearly shouted, but backtracked looking embarrassed. His voice had cracked a little too with his outburst, but I didn't say anything. Only an immature jerk would make fun of someone for going through puberty. He cleared his throat, and began again much more quietly. "I mean, no, why don't we go back to my house? We can order pizza and play video games or something. My friend, Quil, is supposed to be over later anyway." He looked to me hopefully.

"Hanging out with two teenage boys and playing zombie games? Lovely." I rolled my eyes in jest.

"Hey, you're a teenager too!" Oh, right. "Sorry, I don't have _My Little Pony_." He laughed.

"You don't spend much time with girls do you?" I joked. I hadn't meant the question to be offensive, but Jacob blushed and looked at the ground. Well, crap.

"Sure...I've had plenty of girlfriends..." he reached down to grab a rock, tossing it into the waves while avoiding eye contact with me.

"They're lucky girls." I said in hopes to cheer him back up. He really was like this ball of energy that could lighten up any situation, probably even a funeral. Wow, that was morbid, Iris. Tone it down a tad why don't you? It was refreshing to be around him, though.

Jacob looked down through his lashes at me, his face still flushed. The expression on his face was unmistakeable. He had a crush...a bad one. "You mean it?" His voice was lower all of a sudden.

Oh shit. Clean it up. Nope. Hard stop, McGee. This is actual pedophilia to encourage this behavior! "Uhh, sure. Any girl would be lucky to have you as a friend. You know, like us. We're friends. Great _friends_. I would never want to change anything about our relationship, anything at all." I was speaking too quickly to sound normal, and blushing furiously myself. Damn this stupid blush!

Jacob seemed to light up at the words _our_ _relationship_ and it freaked me the fuck out. This kid can't take a hint. Hell, I don't know how to be anymore clear without jumping the gun. I mean, he hadn't actually confessed himself to me, so it would be pretty presumptuous of me to tell him to back off.

"Did you ever hear the story of our tribe? It says that we come from—" He started.

"La la la la—" I plugged my ears. He was going to say wolves. He was just going to stand there and casually disclose all their tribe secrets to me, breaking the treaty in the process, all to impress me. I didn't even ask him about it. I wasn't even trying to flirt! What the hell? It truly felt like no matter what I did, Twilight would have its way and get the story back on track, and that really freaked me out.

Jacob was staring at me like I had lost my mind, which maybe I had, I mean, here I was standing before Jacob Ephraim Black, a fictional character, but I digress.

"Those stories are supposed to be tribe secrets, right? I'd hate for you to break the tr—promise you made with your tribal leaders. Save story time for your friend later. Look, I'm feeling kind of sick all of a sudden. I... Yeah, I might barf, and you don't want to see that."

"Bella?"

"No, I'm fine. It's fine. I'm going to go find my dad." I was backing away as I talked. Jacob looked like he might cry. He really was just a boy.

I left Jake standing there as I briskly walked—I was too scared of injuring myself to actually run or even jog for that matter in this body—into the woods and back toward the path we had taken earlier. Jake didn't follow, of course, probably mad or confused at how I had responded to his obvious flirting attempts.

•PTaT•

I had been walking about forty five minutes—I had to guess at the time since I didn't own a watch or a cell phone thanks to 2005 Bella and her aversion to any safety measures—when I had to stop denying the fact that I was lost. It had only taken us about fifteen minutes to get to the beach from the fishing spot which meant I was half an hour off. Now I was just plain old lost, no getting around it. Damnit all.

I stood there in the center of a bunch of trees, trying to decide which way I should go. Continue straight and potentially go deeper and deeper into the woods? Or turn around and maybe go back the direction I came? I couldn't really even be sure that was the direction I had come from. These freaking trees all looked exactly the same. I was freezing my ass off now too. My legs were numb, my face chapped, and my eyes burned from the constant wind blowing. It looked like there might be a storm soon too because, like why not? Fan-frickin-tastic.

It was darker now as the sun filtered less and less through the dense trees. With a deep breath, I chose my course and trudged on. I had taken approximately five steps, closely watching my feet move each time so as not to trip which I had already done in spite of all the care I had taken not to, when I heard something, Just a small sound of a twig snapping in the distance.

My head shot up instantly at the sound, and I paused, scanning the area but coming up blank. Ok, iris, it was probably a squirrel or something. You're acting paranoid because you're out here all alone and it's getting dark. You're fine. Just keep moving forward.

I hadn't even placed my foot back on the ground when I heard her.

"Hello there." The female voice spoke seductively, and the hair stood straight up on my arms at the sound. My eyes met hers, and I knew I was in trouble. Oh shit.

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	7. FiringSquad

Ch. 7 Firing Squad

She was beautiful. Probably the most beautiful being I had ever seen, and she was going to kill me.

I stared into Rosalie's black eyes which appeared dangerous and unhinged. These were eyes that successfully conveyed her unspoken message. I would not survive this encounter.

I hadn't actually seen Rosalie in person since I had been in this world because I had been avoiding the lunchroom, and I guess we had opposite schedules in school. This was unmistakably her, though. She was tall, statuesque, with long flowing blonde hair past her waist, perfectly perfect in every way, the epitome of female attractiveness.

"Hi. It's Rosalie, right? I'm Bella, Bella Swan. You're Alice and Edward's sister? I have Spanish class with Emmett too. Is he around? I have a question for him about some of my notes." I was rambling nervously trying to distract the thirsty vampire who was now stalking toward me, slightly crouched. She didn't seem to register anything I was saying. She continued to move closer, licking her lips with the tip of her tongue.

"Rose, please. My dad is waiting for me. Chief Swan? Remember him? If you do this, he'll search for your family. It will cause you so many problems." Closer and closer, she didn't care what I said.

"Your record will be broken! You have never tasted human blood, remember? You love throwing that in Edward's face all the time!" That made her stop. She looked like she wasn't breathing, and she turned her head slightly to the left, aiming her nose over her shoulder. She looked to be in pain.

"I'm sorry...I can't..." she looked like she wanted to cry, but she continued to move closer yet. There were mere inches between us now. She appeared to be at war with herself, moving so much slower, but still coming closer.

I turned and ran, making it several hundred feet before tripping, and just like that, I hit the ground. I felt the twig snap below my hand and the warm liquid gush out onto the ground. Holy fucking shitballs! Are you kidding me? Can I not catch a break here?! I truly needed to live in a fucking padded room, tied down, with a person spoon feeding me. I'm dead.

I rolled over to sit up, moving as quickly as humanly possible, but I wasn't fast enough. She was already there at my side. Her hands were around my upper arms, holding me to the ground. Her black eyes bored into mine, showing her remorse even as she bent and positioned her mouth at my neck. I felt the pressure her of teeth graze my neck, and I knew this was the end of my adventure.

Goodbye, Twilight. Goodbye Edward. Goodbye Charlie...I blacked out.

•PTaT•

"Iris?! Wake up! Wake up, Iris! Oh God, Iris?" That name sounded familiar.

"HEEEELLLPPP! CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!" Someone was jumping on my chest. Why the hell would someone jump on my chest? Can't they tell I'm probably hurting? Gah, freaking stop it! You're killing me!

"Uhhhhh..." was all that escaped my mouth and the jumping stopped.

"Hang on, girl. Help is coming. You're going to be fine..." That voice. I know that voice.

Before I could figure it out, all was black again.

•PTaT•

"Bella? Bella?! Oh God, Bella?" Someone was shaking me awake. Did I fall asleep? How did I manage that? Why the fuck was this person calling me Bel—Freaking Hell.

"Who's there?" My eyes were trying to adjust to the darkened room.

"Oh, thank God. It's me, Emmett."

"Emmett? Why are you in my room?" I felt around on the bed confused because it felt softer and wider than normal.

"Uhh...this isn't your room." He said in a sheepish tone. I looked around now that my eyes were adjusting. I was most certainly not in my room.

Then there was a sound father away, someone or multiple someone's scuffling around outside the door to my left.

"Well, then, Emmett," I enunciated each syllable of his name, not in the mood to play twenty questions. "Where the hell am I?"

"Our house." That's it. That's all he said. I mean he didn't know that I knew all about them. Why would he stop there?

"Our house?" I repeated sardonically with my brow raised.

"Well, yeah, you know mine, Edward's, Alice's, Jasper's, our parents, and...Rosie's." He spoke the last name quietly, full of guilt, and it all came back to me. My hand flew to my neck, feeling around reflexively, but the skin felt smooth, intact. Rosalie was going to bite me, kill me. How had I gotten here? Where was she? Why was I with Emmett? Where was Charlie? Oh crap, Charlie! He was probably freaking out.

"I need to get home. Now." I pushed off the bed, still confused where exactly I was never having been here before and not knowing how I would manage to get home. Maybe Alice would give me a ride. I decided to ask her, hoping she would "see" my decision and come offer the way she was so good at in the books.

But it was another Cullen who showed up.

"Bella." His normally warm, velvet voice was reserved, cold. What was up with that?!

"Edward? What's going on? Why am I here?" Maybe if I played dumb, I'd get farther. Though I was really confused about why I was here. That wasn't an act.

He ignored my questions, or maybe he was answering them in another way than I had expected. "Now that you're awake, would you mind escorting me downstairs? The rest of my family would like to meet you." That might have sounded like a nice enough invitation had it not been for the chilly edge to his voice.

Not seeing a way out of it, I answered. "Umm, sure. Is there a restroom that I might use first?"

He didn't speak, only walking to the doorway and pointing toward the left in the hall. I followed him out, and glanced back to where Emmett still stood by the bed. He mouthed "sorry" to me and shrugged. What the hell was that?!

I was so perplexed by all of this. First Rosalie tried to drain me, then Emmett wakes me up all 'Thank God Bella!' And then Edward shows up cold as a snowman, acting like he's taking me to the firing squad. Like seriously? Or was that it? A chill shot up my spine, and my heart felt like it would beat out of my chest. Was that what this was? My execution? In my desperation earlier in the woods, I had revealed to Rosalie that I knew too much. Had they voted to kill me off? Surely Esme and Carlisle wouldn't agree to that, unless THIS Carlisle and Esme differed from the book versions. Maybe I had misjudged all of the Cullens. After all, Edward hadn't exactly behaved the way I expected him to, and Rosalie, while bitchy and selfish, was never a killer in the books except for when she hunted down Royce King—but he had it coming. She seemed so sorry in the woods...

My heart continued pounding, my breathing picked up as my mind flew through all of my options, and I suddenly turned on my heel before reaching the restroom at the opposite end of the hall from where we had come. "I want to go home. I'm not up for a meet and greet right now. Maybe later, Edward." I sounded frantic, on edge, but he was easily able to follow along with me, of course.

"That's not possible now." He said in a dark tone.

"Excuse me? What, are you holding me hostage?" I threw my hands up in question, exasperated. I expected him to deny it, to tell me I was "being utterly absurd" like he did so often to Book Bella, but nope. That assumption was totally wrong.

He spun around at full speed so that I only saw a blur coming at me and stopped an inch from my face. "What if I am?" His voice was seething, and I took a step back, hugging the wall behind me. There was no where else for me to go.

"Edward, why are you doing this? I thought we were friends? Your family wouldn't approve of this...your father—" My voice was shaking.

"Is downstairs waiting for you." He finished for me, backing away and pointing to the stairs. If Carlisle was downstairs, that meant that he could hear everything that was happening and wasn't stopping it. What was going on?

I looked uncertainly in the direction he pointed, but started down the stairs since I saw no way out. A few steps down, I stumbled, but Edward's hand shot out and gently stabilized me before I could fall, never looking back at me. His jaw was taunt, and his eyes were near black with only a light gold ring around the outside.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, there were five other sets of hardened, golden eyes watching me, all of the Cullens—minus Rosalie.

"Umm. Hello." I said lamely, the fear still evident in my quaking voice. What have you done, Iris?

Carlisle's face softened immediately. I knew I could count on him to be compassionate and civil. "Bella, nice to see you. Please, have a seat. You know Alice?" Of course I did, but he was motioning to a seat beside the smallest Cullen. I moved hesitantly toward her and took a seat.

"So...what's up?" I chuckled nervously, not feeling in a joking mood at all, but that stupid humor as a defense gene was kicking in.

"We wanted to apologize for what happened in the woods." I relaxed ever so slightly. Apologize? That didn't sound so bad. They should apologize for their daughter freaking me out and nearly killing me.

"Rosalie feels horrible for what almost happened. Had Alice, Jasper, and Emmett not been so close, well, I think we could all guess at what might have been." The shame and sorrow in his voice was all the apology I needed for now.

"Yeah...can I go home now?" It was a long shot, but my fight or flight response almost always defaulter to flight. I was anxious to get out of here.

"I'm sorry, but we can't allow that." I started to protest, but he held up a hand. "Not yet, at least. Rosalie said you knew things about my family, things that you shouldn't know, things that could get you into trouble." There it was. I knew that whole apology thing was too good to be true. I couldn't win here. If I hadn't said anything to Rosalie, I'd be dead now. Since I did say something, she didn't kill me, but now the Cullens knew that I knew their secret and would probably kill me or something. The world was so unfair.

"What'd she say? She wasn't exactly in her right state of mind. She looked a little high. Maybe you should look into rehab for her. She looked like she wanted to give me a hickey. I mean, I'm all for loving who you love, but you gotta have consent first." I was rambling again, hoping that if I spoke enough nonsense, they would believe I was just another naive, teenage girl.

"Yes, we might believe this whole doe-eyed innocent act—" So he had noticed my doe eyes. Ugh! Shut up, brain! Not now!"—you have going if it weren't for the way you behaved in the hall just a moment ago. You weren't even a little surprised at the way I was able to move. You know about us." It was Edward who spoke. It had been a test earlier when he threatened me upstairs. A test which I failed. Was the Rosalie thing a test too? If so, where was she?

"Ok, fine." I gave in. I was pretty tired of all the lies anyway. Maybe they would ship me off to the Volturi. What could I do about it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

All six Cullens seemed to look a little shocked that I gave in so easily, even Alice. I felt like a super villain in a movie about to reveal her brilliant plan for world domination. "I know what you are, yes, but I know a lot more than just that, but what I know might be able to help you all. As a matter of fact, I think we can help each other."

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	8. FullDisclosure

Hi! Thanks for all the love and constructive criticism! I love getting feedback from others, negative and positive. It makes me a better writer, and inspires ideas for the future of this story and possibly others!

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Ch. 8 Full Disclosure

There was a pregnant pause in the room as I looked each present member of the Cullen family in the eye, stopping when I reached Edward. He had seemed the most upset at my admission. "We're ready for your explanation whenever you are." Edward's voice was even colder if that was at all possible.

I swallowed back my fear, took a deep, calming breath, and began. "Firstly, I want say that I'm sorry for lying to each of you. I'm typically not a deceptive person. I value honesty and integrity from others, so please understand that I never would have lied if I didn't think it was in everyone's best interest. I know you all don't know me that well, yet, but I hope that, in time, I might be able to change the awful perception of myself that I have cast onto you." The only sound in the room was the slow, steady inspiring and expiring of my own breath. Well, I'm sure they could hear more than my human ears.

I realized they were waiting for me to continue, so I followed suit. "This is going to be really difficult to explain, and I feel horrible that you may not believe me because I have so much information and so little information at the same time—"

"Would you please get to the point?" Edward's voice was sharp, and I flinched. I deserved that I supposed.

"Son, let her explain, please." Carlisle looked pointedly to Edward, probably having a mental conversation with him. He always had the voice of reason, a true father and coven leader.

"The point is...that I'm not Isabella Marie Swan from Phoenix, Arizona, although I do look like her. I am actually Iris Elizabeth McGee from Atlanta, Georgia." There were looks of confusion, shock, and irritation—that one was mainly from Edward—written across their extraordinarily beautiful faces.

"What do you mean?" Esme's voice was the first to break the silence. Her round, soft face was a mixture of confusion and concern. She probably thought that I was off my rocker.

"I mean that I am a 29 year old woman, who woke up one day trapped in a seventeen year old's body." There was a gasp from somewhere to my left, but I didn't acknowledge it, knowing that the next thing I said would really bring an emotional outcry. "And the reason I know about all of you and what you are, is because where I'm really from, you're all fictional characters in a very popular book series." You could have heard a pin drop in the seconds after I dropped that bomb, but that didn't last long.

I heard an incredulous huff of laughter across from me and looked up to see Edward pinching the bridge of his nose while he smiled bitterly at the ground. "What? You expect us to believe that you're from some other place where we are book characters? You're insane." He was very opinionated tonight—as always—when he dismissed my explanation.

"That can't be right." Carlisle murmured searching for the sincerity in my eyes.

"She's putting off some pretty truthful vibes. She's either telling the truth, or she really believes her lie well enough to cover herself. She might just be delusional, Carlisle." This was the first time Jasper had spoken.

Well, I could make him a believer. "Jasper Whitlock, the youngest officer in the Texas Calvary." He narrowed his eyes at me, instantly suspicious. "Maria turned you during the Civil War and you spent nearly a century fighting and doing her dirty work in the southern vampire wars. That is, until you found Alice, or rather, she found you with her gift of foresight. You have the gift of empathy, so you can sense other's emotions and alter them as well. You only recently joined the vegetarian lifestyle that the Cullen family lives by, so you struggle the most with it. Sorry if my presence bothers you. I'd be happy to leave..." I looked pointedly at Carlisle.

Every eye in the room was gawking in my direction. "How did you—" Carlisle began.

"Carlisle Cullen. Forgive me for not remembering the exact year that you were turned, I think it was sometime in the 1660s in London, but anyway, your dad was a fire and brimstone type preacher who wanted to go after all the vampires. He didn't find the right guys, but you did, unfortunately, so here you are. That giant cross I passed in the hall belonged to your father. You've never fed from humans. You somehow managed to stay quiet long enough in a pile of rotting potatoes that no one noticed you while you changed. Then you did the near impossible by avoiding humans once the change was completed. Once you realized what had happened to you, you tried a hundred different ways to kill yourself which proved rather difficult. However, eventually you grew weak, desperate, and thirsty enough to drink animal blood. Now, thanks to you, your wife and adoptive kids know a better way to live than mindlessly murdering humans for all eternity. Your family surmises that you have the gift of extreme control and compassion for others. You have dedicated your life to helping your patients, working as a doctor in the hospital. All this brings me to Edward, your first son for all intents and purposes." I shifted my gaze back to Edward again, and he narrowed his eyes. He was gorgeous, maybe even more so, when he was angry. I wished in this moment that he could read my mind. It actually would have made this all much easier from the beginning. Maybe I should have just told the truth when I arrived here. It was too late to go back now though. Hindsight is always 20:20.

"Edward Anthony Masen, you were born in Chicago on June, 20, 1901. Your father, Edward Sr., was a lawyer, your mother, Elizabeth, a philanthropist. You wanted to be a soldier in the First World War, but your mother was not very keen on the idea. Being only seventeen, your dream never came to fruition and wouldn't since your father contracted the Spanish influenza in the fall after your seventeenth birthday, passing it to your mother and you, which led to the untimely deaths of each of your parents, mere days apart. You also likely would have died then in 1918, but Carlisle was working at the hospital in the city at that time. Your mother begged for him to save you in the way that only he could before her death which convinced him to make the decision to change you, an idea he had been toying with in his extremely lonely state for years. You can hear other's thoughts." Edward opened his mouth, but I spoke the words I knew he was about to say. "Except for mine." I smiled guiltily. I really didn't enjoy watching the Cullens squirm this way.

"Oooh! Do mine next!" Emmett didn't seem the least bit disturbed. Of course he thought it was cool.

"Emmett." Esme quieted him with just his name in a way that only a mother could. Then she turned back to me. "How?" Her eyes were filled with venomous tears which would never fall.

"I told you. I'm not from this world. I don't mean any of you any harm, though. I never have, and I would never tell your secrets. If anything, I love each of you and owe you all so much. The times in my life that I spent reading the novels were some of the toughest I have ever experienced, but your story helped me through it all, allowed me a literary escape." I looked away, laughing humorlessly at how accurate that description was of my current circumstance...a literary escape indeed. "But the whole time I've been here, it's been one string of dangerous events after another where I've either been injured or almost killed, so I tried to avoid your family to limit the risk. I'm starting to think that's not possible, though. The story will have its way whether or not I like it..." I shook my head, dazed by the realization. "I know I've acted so selfishly, maybe more so than anyone realizes, but I'm hoping that since you now know why I've done what I've done, things can be different."

Edward stood up, pacing back and forth and running his hands through his thick copper locks. "So you've known about us this whole time? When did you arrive here? How did you get here?" I had never seen him so stressed.

"I woke up the first day that I—Bella—was supposed to start school in Forks, the day I fell out of the window. I have no clue what spawned my trip here, only that one second I was going into work, and the next I was waking up to Charlie Swan, Chief of Police of Forks, standing over me."

"Where did you work?" Edward asked the question as soon as I finished answering the last.

"Emory University Hospital as a nurse."

"The Toradol..."Carlisle said to himself.

"Yeah, sorry, I kind of forgot who I was supposed to be when I was talking to you that day." I said blushing.

"Why didn't I see this?" Alice had been sitting, keeping to herself, and being uncharacteristically quiet the whole time we had been talking. Jasper rubbed her shoulders in comfort as he stood behind the sofa by her.

"Honestly, I don't know, but you've seen some stuff, right? Like when you tried to stop me from leaving town?" Her head turned sharply to face mine.

"How did you know it was me?" Alice was shocked. I bet it was nearly impossible to surprise her.

"Who else would have known where I was going, or rather, that I was even leaving Forks without the intent to return? Come on...an anonymous tip?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Why were you leaving?" Edward questioned then paused, appearing to be thinking of something before he asked, "Why would you try to kill yourself?"

I took a deep breath. This wasn't something I wanted to talk about, but it was necessary. "Well, when I first woke up here, I thought it was a dream. Then after all the bad stuff that was happening, I thought it was a nightmare. I believed that if I waited this whole experience out long enough, I would have to wake up eventually. I tried to leave because I thought that if I could just get some distance between myself and this town, maybe I could be safe from Bella's danger magnetism until that happened. That's one of her problems in the story, but she didn't seem to suffer from so many near-death experiences in the book until she came to Forks. Then when my plan to leave foiled—" I winked at Alice to show her that I wasn't mad at her, "—things in my mind took a dark turn. I was desperate. I felt like a caged animal, out of my natural environment and out of control. I thought if I killed this body, then surely I could somehow return to my own. Don't worry, I know how wrong I was, and I understand now that you're not just a bunch of imaginary characters from a book. You're all just as real as I am, and I'm here for some reason. I don't know what that reason is, but there just has to be one." I was talking more to myself by the time I reached the end of my story.

"Well, thank you for your honesty now." Carlisle still seemed confused, but I didn't know if that was the result of my story or my explanation of my thought process. "So, what information do you have that you think will be helpful to us?"

"The plot of the books."

"Ok...what are these supposed books about?" Carlisle was always the inquisitive one.

"They follow the events of the next two years of your lives." I purposely side stepped telling them about Edward and Bella. How could I look at Edward and tell him that I replaced his true mate? He would be so angry and heartbroken that he would hate me forever. The thought upset me enough that I wished now more than ever that I could leave and allow Bella her life back. Edward deserved his true mate, his true happy ending. I decided then that I would have to tell him, but now, in front of his family members, was not the time. I would wait until we were alone—that is if he ever wanted to speak to me again after this.

"And Bella? How was she involved?" Edward asked, finally he had stopped pacing. Of course he had to ask that question. Fuck.

I sighed heavily and placed my face in my hands. "I promise I'll tell you, but I think we should be alone when I do."

"We don't have secrets in this family." Edward still looked pretty upset.

"No, it's not a secret. I just think you might want to be alone when you hear it. You can tell everyone once you've had time to process, and then I'll leave if you want me to. I'll leave Forks and tell Charlie that I'm going to live with Renée in Jacksonville. Then there will be no more threat for you guys." There were tears in my eyes at the thought of all of the Cullens finding out that my existence here had ruined their lives in such a significant way. Just by my presence I had destroyed a family's potential happiness, but my heart broke for Edward most of all. I wasn't Bella, not really, so he could never possibly share that bond with me. I didn't read the classics. I wasn't overly kind or self-sacrificing to the point of near suicide, literally killing herself for others. I was nothing but an anxious, depressed, and jaded almost-thirty-year-old with mommy and daddy issues. He wouldn't want me if he knew what he could have had with her.

Edward stared at me for a long moment, deliberation in his eyes, then he simply nodded, and walked out of the room.

I assumed I was supposed to follow him, but when I moved to stand, Alice placed a hand on my elbow, holding me in place. "Give him a minute." She smiled gently at me. Well, at least she didn't seem to hate me, or not yet anyway.

"So what would you like to know?" I asked, sitting up a little straighter. "Now that everything is out in the open, I would like to be as honest as possible. "The storyline is already so crazy, unfortunately, thanks to my intervention, that I'm not sure how much will stay the same, but it will probably help you to know the gist of things."

"Where does the story begin?" Esme's eyes were kind, full of love even for me despite me being a practical stranger who's knowledge threatened her family's existence. Although, I'm sure that if it came down to me versus them, Esme would turn me over to the Volturi in a second if it meant keeping her family safe, which I wouldn't blame her. She was everything I could want in my own mother. My mom wouldn't take off work or put down her martini long enough to even eat dinner with me. She probably didn't even know I was missing from my world yet, if that's what happened. I hadn't seen her since I was eighteen.

"It starts when Bella comes to Forks. I arrived about the time the first chapter begins. The only thing I missed was the plane ride from Phoenix. Then it follows Bella through her first day of school, she meets some friends—Jessica, Mike, Angela, Tyler, Eric, Lauren, and Ben. She also is introduced to your family. She becomes...close to you guys, and ends up in a bit of trouble."

"How does she become so involved with us?" Jasper spoke up. "I can't imagine us just welcoming a human into the family so easily, especially not Rosalie." There were smiles in agreement around the room at that remark.

"Where is Rosalie? I'm not mad at her for earlier. I caught her mid-hunt. It was my fault for wandering around in the woods alone." Everyone grew tense, shifting awkwardly from one foot to another.

Emmett spoke first. "Rosie went to visit some relatives. I'm going to meet her after we figure out what to do with you."

I wasn't sure what he meant by "what to do with" me but the other part of his response peaked my interest. "She went to Denali? Why?"

Carlisle looked at me strangely. "Is there anything you don't know about us?"

I laughed. "Your favorite color..? The Denali Coven starred in the books a little. But really, where's Rosalie? Based off what I think I know about her, she should be here fighting with me. She never liked Bella much."

"She and Bella knew each other?" Esme asked.

"Well, sure. They weren't on the best terms, until the end of the story at least, but they tolerated each other ok, I guess."

"Tolerated..." Jasper said to himself.

"What's going on?" I was genuinely confused now.

"What do you know of our...bloodlust?" Carlisle hesitated on the last word.

"I know that you always feel a burning in your throat that is only fully quenched by human blood, but since your family abstains, you have had to learn to live with the burn." His question was bewildering. What the hell did that have to do with Rosalie? I knew why she came after me. She was hungry and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Yes, that's fairly accurate, it underestimates the amount of control it really takes to build up the ability to resist, but it will do. But did you know that there are certain instances when a particular human's scent is a good deal stronger than any other's to one of us, so strong, in fact, that it's almost impossible for that vampire to resist that scent—"

I saw where this was going, and I didn't understand it in the least. "Are you telling me that I'm Rosalie's singer?! 'La tua cantante' or whatever? What about Edward?" My voice shot up about three octaves.

"Her singer..?" Carlisle wasn't familiar with the phrase.

"It's what Aro said Bella was to Edward in the books." I said nonchalantly as my mind was still reeling from this discovery. What did this mean? How was this possible? Was I still Edward's singer?

"You know about Aro too?" Carlisle seemed more shocked about that then anything else.

"Yeah all the Volturi. They end up making a visit to see you guys a couple of times." Esme, Carlisle, and Alice gasped in unison. "Don't worry, it all works out."

Edward showed back up at that moment, angry as ever, but it was Emmett who chimed in addressing me.

"Whoa, dude, back up. You need to start over, and now. You can't just tell us that the Volturi get involved in our lives and not tell us why. My Rosie is off hiding in Alaska. I want to be there with her, but I can't do that until you spill. So go." That's not good. Emmett's always in a good mood.

"Well, after Bella gets involved with you guys, she figured out what you are—"

"How?" Edward demanded.

"You saved her from Tyler's van, the way Alice saved me—thank you again, Alice." She smiled reassuringly and seemed calmer. She must be able to see what I was going to say now that I had decided on full disclosure with them. "Bella is very perceptive and can be resourceful when she's determined. She notices all the differences between you guys and the humans, and when you wouldn't admit to her what you were, she asks her friend, Jacob Black, about the treaty, which he tells her all about—"

"Ephraim Black's great-grandson breaks the treaty?" Carlisle asked incredulously.

"Yeah, but he's just a kid trying to impress a girl he likes. He doesn't really believe any of it. He just tried to tell me about it on the beach the earlier. I already knew, of course, but still. Someone really needs to talk to him about that." I frowned at the thought of a bunch of human girls walking around knowing the Cullen's and the Quileutes' secrets. "But anyway, she pieces it together, and confronts Edward about it, and he confesses." My eyes met his. He only frowned and looked to the floor.

"Why would I do that? I would never put my family at risk that way." He murmured almost to himself.

"Well, that has to do with what I wanted to talk to you about. Could I speak with you alone somewhere?" I wasn't looking forward to this conversation, but it was necessary.

Edward looked up, and met my eyes, a million questions swimming in his own Amber eyes. His frown lessened, his expression changing to one of stoic resolve.

He nodded curtly and answered simply. "Alright." And with that, all the other Cullens disappeared to give us some privacy. Suddenly, I wanted them all back with us.

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	9. AClearConscience

Ch. 9 A Clear Conscience

Edward was definitely the most beautiful, yet most intimidating of all the Cullens. He was staring me down now as if he was trying to extract the information he wanted directly from my mind, which he probably was trying his darnedest to do exactly that.

"Just tell me already, so we can get this over with. Enough with the theatrics." Edward sighed. I hated this.

"I...It's just...I'm scared." I looked up to meet his eyes.

"You should be." He didn't sound menacing when he said it, more like he was just stating the obvious. He was a vampire. I was a human. Fear should be instinctual.

"I don't know where to begin." I said lamely.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "How about why we needed to be alone for this little conversation." He sounded bored now like he was explaining something for the hundredth time to a child who refused to listen.

I sighed, rubbing my hands down my face. Then a thought crossed my mind. "What do I smell like to you?" That seemed to throw him.

"What?" He looked up and raised his brow in question.

"Just describe my scent to me. I promise to tell you after that why, but I'm confused about something."

He rolled his eyes, but began to answer. "It's a sweet citrus scent, like honeysuckle and oranges. Not unpleasant, but not overly...attractive to me." I winced when he said I wasn't attractive. I know he didn't mean it that way, but it just proved another way I was different from the real Bella Swan, another way I was not like Edward's mate. He didn't mention fresia or strawberries.

"Why did you look so angry that first day in gym after you smelled me? I saw you take a breath, then your face changed and Alice dragged you out of the room, and I thought for sure it was my scent." I needed to understand this, so I could explain my theory to him and the family about Rosalie.

"I'm surprised that you remembered that. You behaved so cooly in the days after that I assumed you were none the wiser to anything being off about us. Clearly I was wrong...but, to answer your question, that had nothing to do with you. Alice had a vision of Jasper...struggling, so we left to support him."

Huh. Odd, but it did help explain a lot. "So I'm not anymore appealing to you than anyone else?" I wanted clarification.

"No...not in that way. What's this about?" He shook his head.

"Rosalie can't resist my blood?"

I could tell Edward was growing more impatient now. "No, it would seem not."

"I think that because I'm in Bella's body, I have somehow changed her scent, her essence so to speak." I was pondering at what else I might have changed. Maybe I had been going about this whole experience wrong from the beginning.

"That's all very interesting, but what does it have to do with me?" Edward practically growled.

"I told you guys, in the books, Bella is YOUR singer, you know, the one you can't resist. Combine that with the fact that you cannot read her mind, and she's like your ultimate temptation. But there's more..." I looked into his eyes, pleading with him to forgive me for what I was about to tell him.

"Go on." He encouraged me. His voice was the tiniest bit warmer when he looked into my eyes.

"She was your..." I took a breath and closed my eyes tightly, bracing myself for the amount of shock and horror that would surely come from this admission. "...mate."

"Excuse me?" I peaked out from one eye at the incredulous tone of voice. His eyes widened in shock, but there was no yelling or anger.

I hesitated to respond. When he continued looking at me in question, I said, "Your mate, you know, your other half, your soul mate, your lover..." my voice was shaking as I babbled on waiting for his response.

"No, I know what a mate is, obviously, but it's not possible. She's human." He stated calmly. Why is he being so cool about this? Does he not understand what this means now?

"Yes, well, that didn't seem to stop you from falling for her. There were some bumps in the road, but you two ended up together just the same." Edward still hadn't started throwing things. I was getting concerned that when he finally did understand he might explode, worse than I ever imagined.

"Can I assume this is why the Volturi get involved?" His expression was one of curiosity.

"Yes...and no."

"Well tell me."

This is really weird. "You convince your family to leave Bella and Forks at one point in the story because you want to keep her safe from your world. While you're gone, she spirals out of control in a state of depression and ends up hallucinating your voice when she runs into some sketchy biker guys outside of a bar. She realizes that she can hear the memory of your voice when she's doing dangerous things, so she keeps doing worse and worse stuff to hear you until she ends up on a cliff. She jumps, Alice sees and thinks she's dead. You find out and go straight to the Volturi asking for death too...what is it?" Edward was making the strangest face.

"Nothing...it's just that this sounds nothing like me." I wanted to laugh. He looked like he had taken a bite of something nasty.

I wasn't sure what I expected him to say, but that wasn't it. "I'm just the messenger."

"Continue." He said blandly with the wave of his hand.

"Well, Aro says it would be such a waste to lose your talents. He wants you as a member of his guard, so he refuses your plea hoping that you'll join them willingly, but you instead decide to take matters into your own hands and expose yourself to the humans in order to force their hand. Meanwhile, Alice goes to Forks to check on Charlie, and she finds Bella alive. There were holes in her vision, but she sees you go to the Volturi. She enlists Bella, who is all too willing to save you of course, and the two get to Volterra just in time to stop you." I searched Edward's eyes still unable to understand his expression. He almost looked...relieved? "So, technically, the Volturi wouldn't have known about any of that until you went to them in the story. Although, there is a much bigger part about Irina going to tattle to them about you guys, but that's much later."

"Irina? Why is she involved?" I really hoped he was following all of this. I was kind of jumping around in the story.

"That has to do with a part of the story that I'm afraid to tell you might be starting now. I think I'm in danger, or going to be soon. Maybe with you and your family's help, you could stop it, but I completely understand if you don't want to involve yourselves with me anymore."

"I might not agree with your decision to keep all of this to yourself, but I'm not going to allow you to die. And thank you, by the way." Edward was almost back to his old self, all the coolness gone from his voice.

"For what?" What on Earth could he possibly be thanking me for?

"For saving my family from what sounds like a lot of unnecessary strife."

"Huh?"

Edward laughed. He was actually smiling. I never thought I'd see him smile ever again. What the hell was going on? "Don't look so surprised. I would never want to put my family in danger the way is sounds like your story version of me did. I think I dodged a bullet when you showed up here." He winked at me. What the hell? Did he not understand? What was he saying? He needed to understand this, and I was the only person equipped to help him do that wether I wanted him to hate me or not.

"Edward. She was your mate. I replaced her here. You won't know her now. You won't laugh about how clumsy she is, or see her eyes light up when you enter the room. You won't get to 'enjoy the bouquet without partaking the wine' as you always told her when you smelled her scent. She used strawberry shampoo that you loved. She was brilliant. Her favorite book was 'Wuthering Heights.' She read that book so many times that it is about to fall apart. I can show you, it's in her room at Charlie's." I was crying now, but he needed to see what he was missing. He needed to feel the loss. He needed to hate me the way that I hated myself for taking this from him. Why couldn't he see it? "She loved with all her heart and was totally selfless. She would have died to protect any one of you, and she never would have behaved as selfishly as I have. She was polite and thoughtful, but also witty and sarcastic when she wanted to be. She was shy and nervous but also somehow very self-assured of her place in life. Renée always joked that she was born thirty-five and only got older each year...she loved to cook and made sure Charlie and her mother were taken care of..." I was blubbering now. I was slightly aware of the fact that Edward was watching me with a look of fascination.

"Iris?" I started at the sound of my name on his lips. It sounded more luxurious, almost seductive coming from his mouth. Stop that, Iris. He's going to hate you, remember? "Iris." He said more sternly this time.

See. He hates you. "Hmm?" I could barely speak through my sniffling.

"I know this seems very important to you, but I'm fine, really."

I searched his eyes for the anger and disgust that I knew would be there when he understood, but there was nothing there. His eyes were a bright gold filled with nothing but warmth and kindness, concern even. That couldn't be right. He couldn't be concerned about me. "I don't understand."

"She sounds wonderful. I'm sorry to not know her if it was that important to you that I should, but she's not here. I don't know her, and frankly, I'm happy to not have to suffer the way Rosalie has. I'm not sure I understand that part of the story at all. To just hear Rosalie's thoughts about how you appealed to her in the woods, I don't think I could have ever actually gotten close enough to Bella to form the relationship you say we had." I stared at him in shock. He still didn't understand. I had taken his happiness away from him.

"Furthermore, if she were here, then I wouldn't get to know you, which I'm looking forward to getting to do now that I understand your motives and behavior a little better, and we can be honest with one another. I was concerned before that we might have to permanently hospitalize you. I wouldn't usually get involved in human affairs, but you seemed exceptionally dangerous to yourself and others." He chuckled.

I stared at him in disbelief as he smiled, unable to mirror his expression how I would have liked. "But I stole your happiness. You were going to be so happy with her. She was your perfect opposite, your true mate, and now you'll never know."

He took my hand, still shaking and so much smaller than his large, cold one into his gently. "I'm happy now. I'm happy with my family as it is. There are days when I wonder if there could be more, but this is my life. I might have questioned this existence a time or two, but I would never want to hurt Carlisle or Esme the way that you said I did in that wretched book. So thank you again for your honesty. You may have saved us more than hurt us."

This was too good to be true. My heart thudded with hope, but I quieted it just as quickly. I still wasn't convinced that Edward had really thought about everything that I told him, but only time would tell. "Where are the others? I need to tell everyone about what happens next in the book. I'm pretty sure that my near-death experiences are far from over."

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	10. TheWaterBasin

Trigger warning*

This chapter contains a brief description of a woman's death in the hospital. If this is a sore spot for you, you can skim the very last part of the chapter for just the point of the story.

Ch. 10 The Water Basin

By the time everyone was caught up with what Edward and I had spoken about, I explained my theory about my scent changing which intrigued Carlisle. There were mixed emotions about Bella being Edward's mate. Esme took that news the hardest I think, definitely worse than Edward had taken it.

"I'm sorry Edward, dear, I want you to find true happiness in a mate. Is that so wrong of me?"

Edward ran his hands through his hair. "We've been through this. I'm just not sure it's in the plans for me. Maybe Carlisle's right. Maybe I was too young when I was changed, but I'm happy with you all here now." His eyes shifted to mine in apology a few times while he spoke, and I tried to keep my gaze polite. Inside, I was dying. Edward was perfect. Absolutely perfect. He deserved everything, but here he was arguing with his own mother that he didn't want anyone that way. I couldn't help the way my heart broke a little more each time he said it. I wasn't Bella. I ruined his life, and he didn't even see it. Shit.

"Dude! You were finally gonna get some!" Emmett wagged his eyebrows in Edward's direction to which Edward turned around, grabbed a pillow, and chunked it at Emmett's face. He dodged it and laughed heartily.

"Alice, have you seen any...regular vampires...visiting anytime soon?" I had to change the subject before I burst into tears. My question definitely quieted the room.

Alice's eyes glazed over for a moment, and she shook her head. "No. There's nothing."

"And the hikers who've gone missing? Do you guys have any theories about them?"

"Where are you going with this?" Carlisle inquired with a frown.

"The climatic point of the first book is coming up. A week from tomorrow, there will be a storm, and you guys decide to play baseball. While you're out there, you run across a coven of three vampires—James, Victoria, and Laurent." I shuddered when I spoke their names. Esme placed her hand over my own.

"What is it, dear? We've crossed paths with nomadic vampires in the past without any problems."

"Not like these, and not with Bella around..." I felt nauseous the more I thought about it. "Bella is a danger magnet, and now that makes me one too by default. She was at the game with you guys when Alice got a vision of the nomads, but it was too late for you to take her away. The leader, James, is a tracker. He's bored in his immortal existence and gets off by playing sadistic games with others. He decides to track Bella. You guys protect her, of course, and kill James..." Esme and Carlisle gasped, and I shot them an apologetic look. They didn't like to end other's lives.

"It was unavoidable. You didn't make the decision lightly, believe me. So after he died, you guys thought the problem was solved, but you didn't account for his mate, Victoria. Edward said in the book that he missed the strength of their connection because she was so sure that James would never lose that it never occurred to her how she would feel to lose him. So then she comes after Bella throughout the next year. You know, mate for a mate...Her gift is knowing how to escape, so she's not an easy one to catch."

There was silence in the room until an evil grin crossed Emmett's face. "Two vampires? Pfft hand 'em over. I'll take them both down for you. Problem solved." Jasper gave Emmett a high five in solidarity.

"If it were that easy, then there would have been way less story. There were four books, each longer than the next almost."

"Four?" Edward asked incredulously.

"Yes. Bella had a lot to say about you." I teased.

"Atta boy!" Emmett called and Jasper laughed along side him. I couldn't help but laugh too. They were just like their book characters, except better.

"Wonderful." Edward said through his teeth. I laughed again. It was nice to be able to joke, not having to hide anything.

"It was only nice things." I smiled angelically.

"Yes, I'm sure." Edward chuckled. My heart fluttered at the sound, and he looked at me funny but didn't say anything.

"So are we going to kill these nomads or not?" Emmett was pouting, and it made me laugh again.

"Definitely not, Emmett. These nomads have done nothing wrong, yet. We should give them the benefit of the doubt first." Carlisle reasoned. Ugh...I wanted to smack my forehead in frustration, so I sat on my hands.

"What is it? Do you not agree?" Edward didn't miss my discomfort.

"Not especially...sorry Carlisle. It's just that every time I've tried to avoid a major plot point in the story since I've been here, it's come back to bite me in the a—behind." I felt weird cursing near these prim and proper vampires, well except Emmett. He probably wouldn't mind.

"You say it begins a week from tomorrow?" Edward asked.

"Yes in the book, but like I said earlier, I've changed the story now, like when I fell out of the window, ran away, and earlier with Rosalie in the woods...that wasn't supposed to happen. Now I really don't know what's going on. I just know that Bella ends up being attacked in Phoenix by James. He bites her, and she almost dies."

"HE BITES HER?!" Edward was out of his seat before I finished my sentence.

"Yes, but you're able to suck the venom out and prevent the change. I know how you feel about changing someone unnecessarily." I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice. Cut it out, McGee.

"Interesting." I could see the wheels turning in Carlisle's mind. Probably trying to think of a way to cure cancer or something using venom. More power to him.

"We have to protect her, Carlisle. I won't let that happen to you, Iris. You won't be one of us." Ouch. Now I know how Bella felt every time he denied her wishes. I mean it's not like I especially wanted to be a vampire, but jeez. Could he tone down his distaste for me being with them for eternity a little bit? Delivery, Edward. It's all about your delivery! However, I couldn't help but find his take-charge, protective side attractive. Hubba hubba.

"Thank you. I will take any help I can get."

"Fine, but no killing sprees. No hunting for these nomads. We will avoid the baseball field that day, stay in. From now on, we will be on alert. Iris, you are welcome to come here to stay with us as often as you like until you feel the threat is passed." Carlisle was in Coven leader mode. The authority rang in his voice.

"Thank you." I smiled in appreciation. I knew what a sacrifice this was for them.

"Ok, dad." Emmett looked like a petulant child. "I really need to be getting to Rosie anyway. Thanks for the laughs, Iris. This will give me new material on Eddy for years!" He smiled widely, dimples showing, and he put his hand up high waiting for me to slap it. I met him half way and laughed along with him.

"Tell Rosalie that I'm sorry, and that her record is still intact, thankfully. I don't hold anything against her, not that she'll care anyway. She's probably pissed at me for existing..." Everyone laughed. No one denied it, so I guess I hit the nail on the head with that one.

After Emmett ran out the back door toward the woods, I stood. "May I use your phone? Charlie is probably having a conniption fit as we speak. I've kinda been on house arrest since my last...stunt."

"Of course, dear. Are you hungry? You haven't eaten anything all evening. I'm going to go fix something right up for you." Esme patted my shoulder as she walked passed me. "Edward? Be a dear and show Iris the phone upstairs. I'm sure she would like to freshen up as well."

"Of course. Iris?" Edward, always the perfect gentleman, held out his hand toward the stairs as if I forgot which way they were, but I liked it. Chivalry was a lost art among my generation.

"Thank you." I answered with a smile, and Edward winked at me. God, could he please stop doing things like that? I could only stand there and stare at him dumbly.

"Iris? Are you alright?"

"Huh?"

"You look confused." Edward appeared amused by something.

"She doesn't feel confused." Jasper chose then to speak up with a smirk. Shut. Up. Jackass. Holy crap.

"What?" Edward looked to Jasper and then back to me confused.

"Never mind." Jasper winked at me. What was with the winking?!

I shook my head to clear it. "Sorry, lets go." I started walking toward the steps, but my foot was caught on my jeans. THIS IS WHY WE STOPPED WEARING FLARED JEANS! I wanted to scream. I fell forward, and what do you know? Edward saved me. Again. Now I'm not ungrateful, but seriously. Why can't this body just walk in a straight line? "Thank you." I gritted out, and Edward laughed.

"See? I don't need Bella to joke about how clumsy she is. You make a pretty good substitute." He smiled his famous crooked smile, and I lost it. Holy shit. It. Was. Perfect.

Suddenly my head was spinning, I couldn't catch my breath, and my heart felt like it would fly out of my chest. It was like this body couldn't resist the pull that was Edward, and I went limp in his arms.

"Iris?!" Edward panicked, and the whole family—minus Rosalie and now Emmett—was surrounding us at the bottom of the stairs. Kill me now!

"I'm good. I'm fine. No biggie." I pushed myself away from Edward, putting a good five feet between us. What the hell was that? This is bad. This is so bad. You can't do this, Iris. He doesn't want you. It's Bella. It's Bella that he needs. Walk it off. Be normal. I leaned my still swaying frame against the stair banister. "It's probably low blood sugar from not eating all day. Esme? Would you like help in the kitchen? There's a phone in there, right?" I know I sounded insane, but Esme only offered me a smile and welcomed me to help her.

"Of course, dear. There's a restroom at the end of the hall just there too." Why the hell did she want Edward to take me all the way upstairs then? Was Mama Cullen playing matchmaker?

"Th..thank you." I stuttered out as I passed a still confused Edward. It would have been comical if it wasn't happening to me. Get it together, Iris! He already said it earlier...You're human. He's not interested. I was blushing so much that my face felt like it was on fire, and when I reached the restroom, my fears were confirmed. I looked like I just came back from a weekend at Tybee Island with no sunscreen. Great. Just great.

I splashed my face with water to cool off, and looked in the mirror, but I didn't see anything. Something about the water on my skin...

•PTaT•

"Sorry, George. I'm not looking for anything long term right now. And besides, you're going home soon." I laughed at the pretend frown that crossed the sweet old man's face. He was such a flirt. My favorite patient tonight by far. We weren't supposed to have favorites, but he was mine.

"You're breaking my heart." He brought his hands to his chest weakly in mock horror.

"I couldn't do that any worse than you already have. Cut it out with the salt already! Now off to the cath lab for you." I chastised him with a smile, but he knew I was serious. This was his third heart attack. He wouldn't survive another one.

"Code Blue!" A female voice called from one bay over, and I ran away from George without a word, leaving him with a person from transport to take him to his next stop. There's no time for pleasantries when it's a matter of life or death. Those extra seconds could be the difference of a person's survival or a full recovery versus lasting damage.

I grabbed the backboard off the back of the crash cart, and helped the other nurse, Sandy, roll the unresponsive woman over to put it behind her. We continued compressions, and the rest of the team arrived. After thirty minutes of trying everything we possibly could, the doctor finally called it. "Time of death, eighteen-twenty-eight." This was the worst part of our job. A hushed reverence came over us all as we mourned the loss of this stranger. She was young, maybe in her fifties. Much too young to pass the way she had.

We each knew how to perform the task at hand. I went to grab a small basin to fill with water to clean her wounds. We needed to prepare the body for viewing, and ultimately for the trip to the morgue.

"No! She can't be gone...Try again! Use those pad things! You only used those twice! Try it again! Please! She's all I have!" I turned to see a man, also in his middle fifties, holding onto the doctor who had turned to address the man. The man's pain was evident. This woman was his life. I tried to memorize his dark hair, peppered with white, a sign of his age, the way his eyes crinkled in the corner, and the crease in his nose when he frowned. I also noticed his ring, not a usual wedding ring, but worn on that finger. It had a strange shape to it, like chain links. He grasped that hand over his chest as he bawled into the doctor's coat. I looked on him with a feeling of helplessness.

"Please...please...please..." He met my eyes for the briefest of moments, and it felt like he was begging me. I needed to save her. I needed to help this man out of his misery. But there was nothing else I could do besides treat this woman he loved so dearly with the utmost dignity in this, her last hour.

I could still hear him as I turned into the supply room to fill the basin. When the door closed behind me, I could feel the tears coming, but I fought them, focusing on my task. Water. I need water.

I carried the basin back to the emergency bay, turning the corner without paying much attention to where I was headed, and I almost ran head-on into the crying man, but now he only looked angry. I looked down and realized I had spilled some of the water on his shirt.

"I'm so sorry, sir. Let me get a towel for you!" While it was only water, I was horrified that I had messed up his shirt. It seemed unnecessarily cruel to the man that the universe would choose this particular moment for my rare clumsiness to shine through.

"It's all shit. Don't bother." He stumbled away before I could answer.

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	11. WhoLetTheDogsOut?

Ch. 11 Who Let The Dogs Out?

"H'lo?"

"Dad?" I winced when I heard the gasp on the other end of the phone. Poor Charlie. He probably thought I had been picked up at the beach by and axe murderer. Thankfully, it was just seven vampires in the woods.

"Bella? Thank, God!" Charlie's voice was mangled in desperation and relief. There was a muffled sound and then Charlie sounded like he was yelling away from the phone, "She's on the phone! I have her, Billy!" Then back in the receiver, "Bells? Where are you, honey? Are you safe? Do you need me to come get you?"

"No, no. Dad, I'm fine. I'm so sorry...I got lost in the woods earlier after I left Jake, but thankfully Alice Cullen found me. I somehow wandered all the way to the woods behind the Cullens' house near the edge of Forks." My excuses sounded lame even to me. Don't worry, Charlie. Your delinquent daughter is just hanging out with her vampire buddies out in the woods while you're at home losing your mind.

"Bella, what have I told you about going in the woods alone?" I could practically see him in my mind shaking his head, and I couldn't miss the parental frustration in his voice of lessons not heard.

"I know I know..." Please stop lecturing me. I hate to hear your disappointment.

"Do you?" His voice incredulous. Ok, I deserved the mistrust.

"I'm really sorry, Dad. I was kind of upset with Jake, and I thought I could find my way back from the beach by myself. I guess I was wrong." Yeah, like get-caught-by-a-blood-crazed-vampire-in-the-woods wrong. Way to go, McGee.

There was a heavy sigh before he responded. "Ok, well how are you getting home? Is Dr. or Mrs. Cullen around?"

"Alice said she will drop me off, and they're both right here." Then Carlisle appeared beside me. So creepy to actually see them move like that. It was one thing to read about their speed and sensitive hearing. It was a whole other thing to watch it happen. I handed him the phone.

"Chief? Yes, she's perfectly fine, aside from a gash to her hand which I covered already. Yes, of course. Alright. You too. Thank you, Charlie. Goodnight." He hung up the phone, and smiled at me.

"You're all set. Have a Goodnight, Iris. I hope to see you soon, outside of the hospital." He chuckled. Ha ha. Iris can't walk, talk, and chew gum at the same time. It wasn't my fault that this body was defective.

"You too. Thank you, Carlisle." I turned to grab my coat off the rack, but Edward was already there holding it out to me. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." There was that damn crooked smile again, and my stuttering heart. It was time to go home.

I backed away from him to help maintain my newly instated 'keep at least 5 feet between us at all times' rule. The problem was that Edward didn't know about my new rule. I don't know what that reaction from me was before at the bottom of the stairs, but I didn't need a repeat. Was Edward insanely attractive? Yes. Was he absolutely perfect in every other way too? Yes. Was he also a vampire who adamantly argued against having a mate and isn't interested in human companionship? Also a big, fat yes. And I needed to respect that.

"Thank you so much for dinner, Esme. I'm sure Charlie will love the meatloaf. It still blows my mind what a great cook you are when you can't even stand to taste the food! You should write a cookbook or something under a pseudonym. I'd buy it." I laughed and hugged her. It was strange. She was technically younger than I was back in my original body, but she just had this maternal air about her.

She pulled me into a tighter hug, and kissed my cheek. "You're so welcome, dear. Thank you so much for helping my family...And I'm not so sure anyone would want a cookbook written by a vampire."

"I don't know. 'Vampire Mama's Good Eats' has a ring to it..." Esme only laughed and shook her head.

"Goodnight, Iris. Take care. Please be more careful, and no more running about in the woods alone! Your father is right. It's not safe." She chastised. Geez! I'm a grown woman! A. Grown. Woman.

Edward only smirked until I turned to glare at him, and then he smiled angelically. "It would do you some good to listen to your elders...we aren't the worst things lurking out there." No shit.

"There's werewolves too you know."

"Werewolves?!" Edward's voice shot up an octave. Hah. I knew that was a sore spot for him.

"Yup. Sam Uley has either changed already or will soon followed by about fifteen others over the next year and a half." I smiled smugly. Stew on that, you stupidly handsome control-freak vampire.

"You can't go to La Push anymore then. They're dangerous, vile, and uncontrollable." Oh great. Here it goes...

"Yes, you're right." I wanted to laugh at his face. I guess he expected an argument. "They're impulsive, hormone-crazed, and disgusting too."

"Well...I'm glad you understand."

"Oh I don't understand. Not really. I thought we were just naming some things that teenage boys had in common. I decided to forgo them long ago...you know, when I stopped being a teenager myself. But now that I'm back to being seventeen..." I threw my hands in the air. "It's a toss up. Will Iris go to La Push to play video games with Jacob? Will she stay at home? We may never know since I'm now also a hormone-crazed, impulsive teenager."

"Be reasonable. You know that's not what I was talking about." He crossed his arms and stared at me in horrified disbelief.

"I know all of your arguments and even some of your inner-most thoughts after reading nearly twenty-five hundred pages worth of information about you. You think I didn't know your opinion of the wolves? Hah."

"Are you telling me that you just started that on purpose?"

"Maybe." I smiled innocently.

"You're dangerous, Iris Elizabeth McGee." He chuckled. It was a surreal moment to hear Edward Cullen speak my full name, and I could only gawk at him in reply.

"Are you ready?" Alice chirped. "Let's go! Oh, Iris, I really think we should go shopping tomorrow. I bet I could ask Charlie to let you go with us."

"He's never going to let me out of the house again, actually, Alice. Sorry." She frowned, but closed her eyes. After a second she opened them again.

"Nope. I'll take care of him. Come on. I'll tell you the details on the way there! Oh Iris, we're going to—"

"Be such great friends?" Alice frowned again, and I laughed. Predictable. "You say that to Bella in the books." Now she was pouting. The psychic didn't like me having more information than she did sometimes. "I would love to go shopping. It's one of my favorite pastimes. Maybe you could do a—"

"Yes! Yes! Yessss!" Alice was squealing at a pitch that I'm sure could break glass.

"—makeover on me." I laughed out the last part. "Alice, calm down. You're going to call all the wild dogs to the house."

"I think you already did..." Edward said with a frown. ...the hell? I gave him the side eye. Did he mean I smelled or something? What kind of shade was that?!

"What are you talking about, Edward?" Alice's brow furrowed.

"The wolf, Sam Uley, is outside." Holy shitballs. Could this get anymore ridiculous? Was this going to be the little "reminder about the treaty" part of the story? The "my testes are larger than your testes" argument? Really?

"Let me by. I'll talk to him. I know what he wants..." I sighed.

"He wants to talk about the treaty." Edward said. Well, yeah, duh.

"Got it." I started to push by him.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

"Please don't start the 'werewolves are a danger to your health' thing again..." I did a horribly weak impression of Edward's voice. He didn't seem to appreciate it either.

"Yes, they are very dangerous, but no, actually, I was going to say that Sam Uley doesn't know you, or that you know about us or him, for that matter. How were you planning on speaking to him about the treaty?" He quirked his brow.

Oh yeah. Gah, I hated it when he was right. Fine. "Touché, sir." Edward rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I'm going to meet him, though."

"How am I going to talk about the treaty then?" He asked in a tone of voice like he was speaking to a kindergartener. Grrrrr...

"Look, I know that I look very young, but I'm actually nearly thirty years old. That may not sound like a lot in the face of eternity, but it's old enough to have a little meet and greet with a guy. I just want to have a little chat with him. Come on! Just one tiny little peak at the wolf boy!" I tried really hard not to sound like I was whining, but it still came out that way. Get your shit together, Iris. "Ahem. I will say 'hi' to show that I'm still human and not being held against my will, and then I'll go to the car to let the big boys talk about the big, bad treaty. Capeesh?" Good old Uncle Jesse. Those were the days...

"Fine. You're very stubborn." He didn't seem to enjoy my 'Full House' reference as much as I did.

"Something I share with Isabella it would seem. It must be this body. I'm very easy-going. Practically a rug." I shrugged in jest.

"Yes, I'm sure you are." Edward rolled his eyes. "Your friend is here. Are you ready?" Ready to witness the first werewolf-vampire interaction in nearly a hundred years? Yeah, I guess so. This could be a horrible idea, actually, now that I thought of it, but I had just argued my way into this and couldn't go back now. I was no quitter. Woman up, McGee. You can handle one little werewolf. You took on seven vampires tonight. I am woman!

"HEAR ME ROAR!"

"What?"

"Nothing. Sorry." Shit. That was out loud.

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	12. BillyLetTheDogsOut

Ch. 12 Billy Let The Dogs Out

Well, this was awkward.

Sam and Edward had been staring at one another for a good three minutes without blinking, jaws clenched, low growls emanating from their chests. It was like the world's highest stakes staring competition, and here I was having to pretend that I had no clue what the hell was going on. I mean, I supposed I could just tell Sam that I knew what was going on, but I didn't really want to go through the whole "I'm a body hopper from another world where you're about as real as Austin Powers" speech. Wait, did the Austin Powers' movies exist here? I'd have to ask Alice later...

Edward had himself positioned slightly in front of me, in a protective gesture. "Ahem." I peaked around Edward and looked pointedly at Sam who had not spoken since we had exited the house. "Excuse me, but do you two know each other?" I played dumb trying to hurry this along. Speak, boy.

Sam Uley was tall, like duck through doorways and still might hit his head, tall. His body was matured, filled out like a pro wrestler, but his face had a youthful quality to it. He was only supposed to be like 19, right? I could tell that identifying the boys who had either phased already or were about to do so later on would be fairly easy if they all shared these traits.

Sam seemed to start at the sound of me as if he forgot there was a human present. He twisted his foot in the gravel drive, looking down and remaining awkwardly silent for a second too long. I guess he didn't know how to handle me. Figures. I don't know how to handle myself most days. "Oh...Uhh...no. Isabella Swan? I'm Sam, Sam Uley. I'm here to bring you home. Billy said you might need some help." He looked at me meaningfully. Well that was sweet of him, but totally misplaced.

Of course Billy sent you. Good old prejudiced Uncle Billy. I guess I couldn't really blame Billy for his biases, though. I mean, before I came to terms with this new life, hadn't I also feared intertwining my life so closely with the Cullens? Though that had more to do with trying to avoid Bella Swan's inevitable danger magnetism, but still. Yes. Yes, I had. Kettle? Meet Pot.

"Thanks, but I'm fine, really. Alice and Edward were just about to take me home." I smiled politely.

"Bella, why don't you go to the car with Alice? I will be there in just a minute." Edward spoke through his teeth. I looked up to Edward's face. It was borderline murderous. Uh oh. This could be bad. Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle had left just before this little meeting was announced, so if anything began between them, it was up to me and Alice to stop it, not that she would let me try, and clearly my humaness was not the most helpful quality in this situation.

Sam squared his shoulders. "The girl comes with me." His eyes grew cold when they looked back into Edward's. His body was shaking slightly. He was not relenting in this. The 'girl?' Was this guy for real? Screw that.

Edward pushed me further behind him when I didn't immediately leave. Would it have been safer for me to move out of the way of the soon to be phasing werewolf? Sure. But was I going to sit here and play damsel in distress? Hell no. Ok, yes, I might depending on wether it would help ease the tension or not. I took a step back to appease Edward a little bit who's fingers were so tightly balled up at his sides now that he looked like he might be digging holes in his palms.

"Your services are unnecessary, Sam." Edward spit his name out as if it were a curse word. "As she has already told her father, we are more than happy to bring her home. You are keeping her from doing such as we speak. If you would be so kind as to move, we will be on our way." Edward's eyes were black as coal, and looked like they could have pierced right through Sam if he wanted. Sam's old green Suburban sat right in the center of the Cullen's driveway effectively blocking our way out.

"Sorry, That's not happening, and that reminds me. There's something I need to address with you and...the others." Sam's eyes narrowed, shifted to me, and back to Edward.

"I know exactly what you have come to discuss, and we are aware. Nothing has changed. We have the same understanding as before." Edward's tone was sharp.

Sam's eyebrow quirked up in question as, I'm sure, he tried to figure out how exactly Edward knew what he was going to say, but he continued nonetheless. "And the girl?" He flexed his biceps, his whole body visibly shaking now. Hello? Am I invisible? Douchebag.

"The GIRL is standing right here, in case you forgot," Sam's eyes widened like he really had forgotten that I was still here. "And I will decide who I travel with. I don't mean to be rude, but come on, Sam. I don't even know you. Why would I get in a car with you? Haven't you ever heard of stranger danger? And, anyway, the Cullens have been nothing but lovely, so if you'll excuse us, I'm tired and ready to go home. Please send Billy my regards. Now you boys make nice and shake hands, so we can be done with whatever drama you have going on here." I was using my nurse voice. The same one I used when a semi-aggressive patient didn't want to comply with their plan of care. Working in downtown Atlanta, I learned long ago that using a casual voice with just the perfect balance of annoyance, impatience, and authority, could usually get the job done.

They each turned to look at me as if I had suddenly grown a second nose out of my forehead. "Go on." I put my hands on my hips, and raised my brow, but neither moved, each standing their ground, unwavering. Ugh they're just two stupid teenage boys. Vampire or werewolf...Human or supernatural...it doesn't make a difference. I shook my head.

I was growing tired of waiting around for them to get some sense on their own, so I walked right around Edward and stood between he and Sam, ignoring as Edward stiffened and tried to move himself back between me and wolf boy. Oh, no you don't.

They had slowly moved closer and closer to one another during their staring contest, so I reached out and snatched one of each of their hands in mine to both of their surprises.

"If you're going to act like children, I will treat you as such." I knew that neither of them would show their full strength in front of me because Sam didn't know that I was aware of his phasing abilities, nor did he know that I was equally aware of the fact that I was standing in front of a vampire. To keep up the ruse, neither one could behave any way but as a human in front of me, so I was able to force their hands—one burning up and the other icy cold—together long enough for a quick shake.

I smirked to myself...Human one, wolf and vampire, zero. "There. All better. Goodbye, Sam." I released their hands, rolling my eyes when they each jerked their hands back and took a couple of steps away from one another with looks of absolute revolt on their faces, and I walked over to the silver Volvo Alice had just backed out of the garage.

There it was...The Volvo, the true star of the Twilight Saga. I had seen the immaculately detailed car at school parked in the lot, but this was the closest I had ever actually been to it. I walked along the outside of the car, running my finger softly along the trim. I couldn't believe I was going to get to ride in it. Best day ever. Well, best day unless you accounted for me almost being killed by Rosalie, but that was just a typical day in Twilight world at this point.

"If you scratch it, I might have to charge you." Edward's velvety smooth voice whispering right into my ear simultaneously made me jump and gave me goosebumps.

"Ohmygod!" I huffed out. I hadn't noticed that Sam's SUV was long gone.

"That's for making me have skin to skin contact with the dog. I'm never going to get that smell off of me." He wrinkled his nose in disgust and rubbed his hand against his khakis.

"Well then don't act like two jerks in a pissing match next time." I shrugged.

"Next time?" Edward scoffed, but opened my door for me. Such a gentleman...

"Thanks...But come on. There was a whole newborn vampire army that came after Bella in the third book. You really think you guys can take that on your own? You might need the wolves on your side one day." I said as I climbed into the car.

"Excuse me?!" Alice shrieked.

"What?" Edward growled as he climbed in the driver's seat and slammed the door behind him. He turned to face me in the back from the driver's seat, sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm starting to understand why you were so desperate to leave this world that you tried to end your life..." Edward said through clenched teeth. "Are there any other threats that we should know about? Do meteors strike the Earth? Is there also an extra terrestrial invasion?" Well now he was just being silly. Or was he? Oh God, what if there were aliens here too? Does vampire trump alien?!

"No, nothing major. The full Volturi guard shows up at the end, but that's only because of Irina. I think as long as we keep Laurent away from her, she won't have any grudges against you."

"Oh, JUST the full Volturi guard? Is that all?" Cool it with the sarcasm, dude. Though, his anger made his nostrils flare in a very alluring way...shut up, Iris. I pulled my lips closed tightly.

"I told you we just have to keep Irina out of this." ...And avoid creating a human-vampire baby, but that did not seem like a real threat currently...sigh.

"Irina?" Alice questioned. "What does she have to do with this?"

"She gets her feelings hurt by something that I think we can prevent from happening." I shrugged.

"Your oversimplification of this very obvious problem astounds me. How you stay so calm in the face of danger is beyond me." Edward ranted.

"Well, when you have spent the last eight and half years of your life watching people die from crazy shit like I have, and then combine that with the realization that this world doesn't really care a whole lot about how hard I have tried to avoid danger, and you might be as resigned to death as me too!" I snapped, but immediately adjusted my tone. That was uncalled for. "Sorry." I didn't realize that I felt that way until I said it aloud. Maybe my death was imminent here. I mean, how many young, overall healthy people had I seen die in the ER and ICU from accidents, gun violence, partner domestic abuse...? Was I really better than any of those innocent people? No...But at least I had the world's greatest protectors on my side now, and the gift of kind of knowing the basic outline of events to come.

Edward sat quietly waiting until I met his eyes, obviously watching my expression shift as I had my own personal epiphany about my human morbidity. His eyes and voice softened when he responded. "Iris, I told you that we wouldn't let anything happen to you. Do you truly have so little faith in us?" He asked in earnest.

I looked down at my lap. "No, it isn't about your capabilities at all. Its just...When you were with Bella, you said many times that you felt the odds were stacked against you both. There was danger at every turn. There was never a moment of peace or even just boredom. Which I suppose wouldn't exactly make for a good best-seller, but now that I'm living here, what if that's just my new normal? What if I can't just hang out with Charlie or go out with friends...or date..." I trailed off at the end, not wanting to say too much, which I feared I already had.

Edward frowned to himself, doing his typical self-loathing, brooding thing no doubt. "I promise we won't let that be your life. You deserve a normal, happy, healthy, long-lasting human existence."

My heart sped at his words, anxiety consuming me instantly. "Hey! Don't you dare think about leaving!" I turned to Alice. "Don't let him do it, Alice! I'll quite literally die. When you guys left in the book, more bad stuff happened while you were gone. It only made things worse for Bella because her vampire protectors weren't there to save her anymore. Don't. Do. It. Do you hear me?" I was panicking. I couldn't even think about how I would miss seeing his crooked smile, or how I wouldn't get to go with Alice and 'shop til we dropped.' All I could see was Victoria and Laurent taunting me.

Edward looked shocked at my manic state.

Alice slid into the back seat, despite the car being in motion and held my hand. "We aren't leaving, Iris. Don't worry. You're like family now. I can see it." Family? What did she mean by that?

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	13. ShopTilYouDrop

Trigger Warning*

Skim the last part if you're sensitive to sexual abuse or death. We spend part of this chapter in Port Angeles *hint hint* and re-visit the death in the hospital.

Hi guys!

Just doing a mid-story check-in. So we've followed Iris long enough to see that she's got it bad for Edward. To those of you who seemed surprised, like these feelings came out of nowhere, I urge you to go back to the beginning and re-read the story through new eyes. Pay attention to everything she says about him. Also, if she says something that you think was a sign that she wasn't interested, think about what she might be feeling at that time. Why would she try to push Edward away? Anyway, lots of good stuff and revelations to come!

Happy Reading!

Ch. 13 Shop Til You Drop

I had been sitting inside my closet for over three hours. Luckily I was smart enough to bring my book bag with me this time, so I could get something done while I hid in here. I wished Mom and Dad would just get their shit together already or get divorced. Yeah, actually, I liked the idea of that better. Divorce would be best. Winners those two were...

"And how was I supposed to look at her? Huh? Was I supposed to just ignore her? Was I supposed to look at the ceiling the whole time she was talking? How? Tell me what I was supposed to do! We work together! You know, work? That place where I go all day to make money to pay our bills? This shit doesn't just appear out of thin air!" I rolled my eyes. Daddy dearest decided to make a pit stop on the way home, and mommy dearest tracked him down. Tsk tsk.

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" My mother cried.

"Well, your nails are not exactly made to look like that at home, now are they? And your nice glowing skin didn't come from the sun that shines for free outside...And that Fucking Crystal glass you love to fill up with Rosé? IT COSTED MONEY! Money that you haven't had to work your ass off for day in and day out just to come home and not feel appreciated. So forgive me if I just want to go out after a hard day of working and relax! God Damnit, Terri!"

"How dare you! You know I work hard! I've been at home, raising our daughter! That's hard. Harder than anything I've ever done in my life!" Does she even know where I am right now? I hadn't even left my room all day. I'm fourteen, practically an adult. What the fuck was their problem?

God, my family sucks.

•PTaT•

When we arrived back at Charlie's house, which finally felt like my house too, Charlie greeted us in the driveway. Edward and Alice stepped onto the drive looking much too posh to be standing in front of the old house.

"Bella! What took you so long? I thought you were on your way an hour ago?" I hugged Charlie tightly. I thought he was supposed to be this emotionally stunted manly man? Maybe Bella was just so awkward all the time that Charlie couldn't express his true feelings comfortably around her.

"Sorry...I..." I glanced over Charlie's shoulder as Jacob wheeled Billy Black out of the house behind him. He made Jake stop abruptly when he saw who had brought me home. "You should ask Billy why I was late." I changed tactics. I wasn't trying to stir the pot, but this wolf versus vampire crap had to stop if we were all going to survive the insanity that was surely on its way.

"What do you mean?" Charlie pulled out of my embrace to look between his oldest friend and me.

"Billy doesn't like the Cullen's so he sent his lackey to come fight for my honor or something." I explained with a laugh. Your turn, Billy.

"Charlie..." Billy began as he frowned at me.

"Billy? Are you on this again, really?" He turned to look at the two Cullen "children" standing by the Volvo.

"Chief Swan." Edward nodded with his hand out.

"Hi, Chief Swan!" Alice was practically bouncing, most likely excited to get to the part where I wasn't grounded anymore and could go shopping with her.

Charlie shook Edward's hand, flinching a bit at the temperature of his skin, and whispered, "I'm sorry about this kids."

"It's fine. We know the Blacks are not our biggest fans. It's hard to break through old prejudices." Edward spoke calmly. Too calmly. It almost sounded threatening when he said the word 'break.' Charlie narrowed his eyes a bit, but turned back to Billy.

"Leave these kids alone. They aren't harming anyone. I've never had a single problem from any of Dr. Cullen's kids, not even the big one." His eyes slid sheepishly back to the two impeccably dressed vampires'. "Sorry...he just has this look about him, but clearly I was wrong to assume." He explained.

The two Cullens looked like they wanted to laugh. Emmett surely would have lost it at that.

"It's fine. No offense taken, Chief." Alice smiled widely, and it clearly stunned Charlie. He blinked a few times before coughing out something incomprehensible to human ears, but I saw Edward bite back a smile. Yup, she would easily convince Charlie to let her take me shopping. Hell, she could probably get him to agree to me going out of the country with them and make him think it was his idea.

"Uhh, call me Charlie...Alice, right?"

"Yes sir, Charlie." Alice beamed. Putty. He was putty in her hands.

"Charlie. These...kids...shouldn't be here. They need to go back to where they belong." Billy looked like he wanted to finish that statement with 'in hell.'

"Dad!" Jacob cried in the perfect teenage boy embarrassed by his out of touch dad way.

Charlie recoiled from his friend. "Billy, I know that you aren't threatening children. Correct?" Uh oh. Cop Charlie has checked into the building.

I needed to stop this. "Billy, just leave them alone. The Cullen's saved me." From their sister..."And they're really good people. Different from the Quileutes, but still good people." I spoke up. Billy's frown deepened. Oops. I definitely said too much this time. Shittity Shit shit.

"Bella, could I speak with you alone?" Billy smiled in a polite way with an undercurrent of stress.

"I'm really tired actually. Thanks again Alice and...Edward." His name rolled off my tongue strangely. What the hell? Just throw yourself at him. Good God, Iris. "Jake, sorry about earlier. Goodnight, Billy. I'll see you inside, Dad." There. That wrapped things up nicely.

AsI turned to leave, I felt a cold hand on my elbow, and turned to see Edward looking at me. "Goodnight, Bella. I'll see you later." There was something about the way he said it that made me shiver. You're crazy, McGee. Slow your roll.

"See you later..." my voice trailed off as I watched them leave.

"Oh, Charlie?" Alice had a sweet innocent face. Here it goes...

"Uhh, yeah?" Charlie was caught off guard by her once again.

"I feel bad that I haven't really welcomed Bella to Forks properly since she's been ill so often. I told her we could go shopping in the morning, if that's alright with you, that is. I'm sure you feel bad that Bella hasn't really made many friends here." She was good. But really? Like thanks a lot for making me sound like a friendless loser incapable of interacting with people in front of Jacob. I really appreciate that. A real peach, a true friend. I had to fight my signature eye roll.

"Well, I guess that would be alright, but not too far or too late."

"Of course not. I'll see you at nine A.M., Bella!" She jumped in the car and they were gone before I could process. Nine? Where were we shopping at nine? The grocery store?

"I'll be inside, Dad." I said as I glanced over at Billy and Jacob. "Thanks again for the concern. Goodnight."

•PTaT•

Shopping with Alice was beyond anything I could have ever expected. She would stand outside a store with her eyes closed for a second and say yes or no depending on how much success she thought she would have there. If it was a yes, she did the same thing in each department until our arms were full of bags. We were on our fifteenth store of the day and it was only noon. Definitely more efficient than any other shopping trip I had been on in my life.

She was so happy, in her element here. Her carefree attitude and joy reminded me that I still needed to tell her about her past. I didn't feel right harboring that information while she bounded around none the wiser. As I had learned this last month, secrets were not the best way to make friends.

"This is amazing, Alice. You're a rockstar. I wish I had you to shop with back in my world."

Alice lit up at my affection for her. "Oh, you definitely needed me if you dressed anything like what you're wearing now." She teased, wrinkling her nose and sticking her tongue out.

"Well, this is what this world gave me to work with. I can't wait until you see where fashion is headed." I giggled.

Alice looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"What do you mean, what do I mean? You like fashion right?" I was laughing harder. To think that Alice didn't enjoy clothes would be some form of blasphemy.

"You said you couldn't wait until I saw where fashion was headed...does that mean that you do know where fashion is headed?"

Oh. Did I not tell them that I was from the future? Oops. This might bother the psychic side of her again. "Where I'm from...its a little ahead of the time here." I said as nonchalantly as possible.

"Oh. How far ahead?"

"About fifteen years..."

"Fifteen years?! That's not just a little ahead, that's the difference between disco and grunge! That's the difference between Nazis and 'Nam!" Only Alice could equate fashion to war. My God...

"Its no big deal, really. I was about this same age give or take a couple of years around this year anyway, so it's kind of like getting a re-do. A dangerous re-do with vampires, but fun all the same." I smiled. Infinitely better than listening to dear old Mummy and Daddy while dodging wine glasses and decanters being thrown at walls, shattering glass everywhere. I was a master at sweeping up glass and putting tape on the bottom of my shoes to collect the smaller shards. It was basically part of my weekly chores growing up.

"Iris." Alice saw my face change during my internal monologue obviously. "What is it?"

"Nothing...it's just nice to be here with you. I really like your family." Even a bunch of dysfunctional vampires were better than my human parents. Good job, Mark and Terri.

"They're your family too." She winked at me. There it was again. What did that mean?

"Umm...thanks." She couldn't mean that in the way that counted. It's ok, I have Charlie, and he's great. And one day maybe I could meet someone outside of the supernatural world. I hadn't been big on dating since my last boyfriend way back in undergrad. But if this was my life now, I should fully embrace it.

"Alice." She stopped searching the rack to look at me.

"Yeah?" She searched my face in bewilderment.

I hesitated just a second. "I know what happened to you. How you got to be this way, I mean." I gestured generally toward her body.

She gasped.

"I know this is big. So big. I'm really sorry that I didn't say anything before but—"

I realized that Alice's eyes had glazed over. Oh, she wasn't even listening to me.

"Alice?"

"Bella, they're coming. Three days from now. They'll come by the house because the tracker scents us. He'll catch your scent there too if you come back to the house. You have to stay away." You don't have to tell me twice.

"Deal." I said confidently. I would not pull a Bella Swan and make some alternative crazy plans to put everyone in further danger. Let the vamps deal with the other vamps.

Alice pulled out her little silver phone. "Carlisle?" It was a buzz of words after that I couldn't follow. I assumed she was filling everyone in, so we could come up with a plan.

"What were you telling me before? I'm sorry, the vision took over." Alice explained guiltily. I decided this wasn't the time for big revelations now that it was action time.

"Nothing that can't wait until later." I said lightly. "I'm going to run to the restroom." I said as I spotted one. "I'll meet you at that burger joint we passed around the corner. I'm starving! You have to feed the human, Alice!" I laughed.

"Yeah yeah yeah..." she sighed, but nodded, walking around the corner.

A few minutes later, I washed my hands, and pushed the door to leave, but it felt like it was jammed. What the hell? I pushed again, but no dice. It was still stuck. Well shit. I thought about calling out to Alice, surely she would hear me from here, but then I thought about how much she would laugh at me for getting trapped inside a public bathroom, and decided that I was smart enough to figure this out.

Just as I pulled my foot back to kick the door, an unfamiliar male voice said, "Need some help, baby?" Oh shit.

I spun on my heel to see a man, obviously drunk by the way he was swaying slightly and the smell of whiskey on his breath. "Why the fuck are you in the women's bathroom? Get out!"

"Well, I can't do that since the door is locked...and neither can you, sugar." He took a step closer to me smiling. I suddenly felt like bugs were crawling all over my skin. No. No. No. This can't be happening. Fuck fuck!

Damnit! I didn't wander around Port Angeles in the dark like an idiot like Bella did! I just needed to use the bathroom. I had Alice with me. I was smart—wait! Alice! "Alice!" I screamed with everything I had in me. "ALLIIIICCCE!" I tried again. Where was she? Why didn't her damn visions work when I needed them to?

"Is that your friend? Too bad she didn't come in here too. That could have been more fun..." Ugh where the hell do monsters like this come from?

"Yeah it would be fun. ALICE DAMNIT!" I was shaking as I backed against the wall. The sleezy drunk was moving closer, slowly, enjoying watching me scream.

Surely someone else heard me?! It was the middle of the day on a Sunday afternoon in a tourist town. "HELP!"

He took a step closer and I swung my bag at him. "Take my money! I don't need it." It was only a hundred bucks from Charlie, but that had to be better than nothing right?

"Oh, I'm not really in need of money at this moment, baby. The only thing that can soothe this particular need, money won't buy." He licked his lips. Oh God.

I was mentally berating myself for not taking that self-defense class that had been offered at the hospital a few months back. I had meant to, but it was offered on my only off day that week, and I had decided against it. Stupid, Iris. You're going to fucking die now. And this had to be the worst possible way to go.

Maybe he wouldn't kill me though. Maybe he would just finish and leave me. No, I think I'd rather die.

"HELP! ALICE!"

He threw his hot, sweaty hand over my mouth, and I bit him. He tried to grab me to throw me to the ground, but I threw my fists blindly out at his face, I tried to aim my knee for his groin, but he seemed to anticipate me going for that region and dodged it smoothly for a drunk person.

"Ahh—" Everything went black.

•PTaT•

"It's all shit. Don't bother." The man said as he stumbled away.

"That's so sad. My heart breaks for him. Did you see his face when Dr. Powell called it? I almost cried myself. Do you need help, Iris?" Sandy was such a sweet friend, and such a compassionate nurse. The absolute best.

I shook my head to clear it as I stared into the water basin I was still holding. "No I have it. Did you get the lines out already?"

"Yes. She's ready." Sandy placed her hand on my shoulder and sighed in defeat. Death of a patient never got easier to accept, never felt routine no matter how many times you witnessed it happen.

I wiped gently over each skin imperfection, each stain of blood, each open wound where Peripheral and central lines had broken. I wiped around her beautiful blue eyes, closing them for the last time. She was perfect, so at peace. I had never seen a body look so peaceful.

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	14. StoneColdChest

Ch. 14 Stone Cold Chest

"Hang on, girl. Help is coming. You're going to be fine..." I only heard an echo of a female voice.

•PTaT•

"Isabella? Bella?"

"Owww..." My head was pounding. Why was my head always pounding?! I couldn't respond properly to who the hell ever was calling that God forsaken name. I hated being Bella. Iris never got hurt like this...

Then I realized it was a deep male voice addressing me, and something in me broke. I began flailing wildly and shrieking. I didn't understand why I was reacting this way but that voice...that man...

"Iris?! Iris. Oh God. Shhh. Calm down...you'll be ok...I have you...What happened? What did you do?" Another male voice. This one I didn't mind so much despite his anger, so I stopped fighting and screaming. I still couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. His voice was still smooth even through the stress. But why was he accusing me of doing something? What did I do? "No! Where's my sister? Where's Alice?" Alice...Alice...I needed Alice. Why did I need Alice?

"Who's Iris? What the hell are you doing? She needs a doctor, and you need to step away. She's covered in...blood." The other man growled, and I flinched. His voice was too gravelly...too much like another voice...

I felt someone picking me up, holding my head gently. Their hand was ice cold. It was just what my throbbing skull needed. I turned into a stone, cold chest. It was nice, smelled nice...I could sleep a bit more, right? Maybe if I slept, my head wouldn't throb like this...

"Put her down, leech! I won't let your kind take her!" The deep voice yelled.

"Stay in your lane, dog. I wouldn't get too close if I were you." The smooth voice was seething. A shiver went through me at the sound, but I wasn't afraid. "Shhh, Iris, it's ok." A hand was on my cheek.

"Edward? Oh my God! Iris? What happened?! I didn't see! I was—oh God! Edward...I'm so sorry! I didn't—you! I can't see around you!" A tinkling voice accused. Edward? Oh, Edward. That makes more sense. Well, kind of. Why was Edward here? I really should open my eyes...

"She was attacked." Edward's voice was cold, matter of fact. I was? Oh, I was. Shit...the man from the bathroom's face flashed through my mind, and I shrieked again, throwing my hands over my face awkwardly since I was still turned into Edward's chest.

"Iris, please, you'll be ok. I'm taking you to Carlisle now." Edward attempted to soothe me, but where was the man?

"Like hell you are! You will not make her one of you!" The first man yelled again. Why was he always yelling?

"Oh please, don't be ridiculous. He's a doctor... and she's not hurt badly enough for him to even consider doing that. Go back to your kennel, Sam Uley." Alice dismissed him. Sam Uley?

"I—" Sam's voice was too far away for me to make out what he said after that.

My eyes fluttered open, and I was staring into pained dark golden orbs. "Iris, are you ok? Can you hear me?" I vaguely noted that we were moving...fast. I tried to look away to see where we were, but everything was moving by so quickly. Oh God...My stomach lurched before I could stop it, and Edward came to an abrupt stop, allowing me to tilt my face down toward the ground and expel everything from my stomach. Nothing even got on him...of course the freaking perfect vampires could even dodge vomit...he placed me on the ground, and held under my arm to stabilize me.

"Edward..." my voice sounded hoarse and barely squeaked out, but he heard me.

"What is it?" There was only a hint of stress to his tone now.

"Did he...was I...what—" I couldn't force the words out.

Edward looked down at the ground, his eyes changed to black before he could hide them. "No. He didn't touch you...that way. He did throw you on the ground and you hit your head. Sam got there in time to stop him." Edward sounded guilty.

"Oh..." Thank God. I guess I owed him now too...But wait..."Why was Sam there? And why were you there?"

Edward didn't look up to meet my eyes. He turned and looked away. "We need to get you to Carlisle. Your head is still bleeding. Are you feeling better?"

"I—" I was going to blast him for dodging my question, but right at that moment, I tripped on a stick—I wasn't even freaking moving!!—and Edward tightened his grip on me. "Shit."

Edward chuckled and shook his head, finally meeting my eyes. His were golden again, and my heart fluttered. "Well, I guess injuring your head for the third time in six weeks has done nothing for your balance. Let's go. May I?" He reached his other hand out to lift me again. I could probably ride on his back...but since he was offering...

•PTaT•

Carlisle assessed and bandaged up my wound at my house, and said it should be ok, but we would need to watch for signs of increased intracranial pressure, you know, brain swelling. No big deal, right? Damnit, broken Bella body. At least it was on the other side of my head. Maybe the lumps would heal, and my head would be symmetrical again.

I was lying in my bed, head wrapped like a mummy looking awkwardly between the ceiling and the vampire in my room. Charlie had gone off to La Push earlier in the morning, and hadn't come back yet. It was nearly seven now. He would be home, and find out the joyous news soon enough...

I'm sure I was really attractive sitting here with black rings around my eyes, blood still matting my hair, and a white bandage tied around my head like I just had hair plugs inserted. Cute, Iris. You can pull anything off...And I was really super glad that it was Edward who was sitting in the rocking chair staring at me while I looked like this. It was the first time he had been in my room, so at least it was memorable I guess...

"So, where's Alice?"

Edward's eyes grew dark. "She and Jasper had to take care of some things..." Holy shit.

"Are they out murdering that sleezeball and disposing of the body?!" They wouldn't do that would they? I just wanted him in prison, not dead.

"No, there's no need to worry about him. He got his due justice...well, as far as law of the land goes." Oh, I sighed in relief.

"Are you even going to tell me what happened? I have a right to know. He locked me in the bathroom. He was trying to...well, you know, and then everything's a blank. I need to know. You said he didn't...?" My voice broke off. My God. He almost...I nearly vomited again, but I held the nausea away by taking a swig from the water bottle beside my bed.

Edward watched me closely and seemed to deliberate. "Are you sure that you will be alright to talk about it? You were very...upset...earlier." He searched my face for signs that I would have a melt down.

I sighed heavily. "I don't know, but I need to hear it. You can't protect me from it. The images in my mind are way worse than anything you could say."

He hesitated just a moment, looking out the window. His mind seemed far away. Then his eyes met mine, filled with determination and resolve. "When I arrived, you were still unconscious. The...man...was on the floor, knocked out. The wolf, Sam, was standing over you, frantic. He didn't know if you were going to be ok. He has no medical training...he's just a...boy." Edward paused, anger lacing his voice as he spoke of Sam. "He broke that monster's back. He will never walk again. Alice called the police after we left...At first, I thought the wolf had attacked you, but when I realized that he saved you..." He paused, taking a deep breath. "He was following us. He doesn't trust us—our family—being around you, so he followed you and Alice to Port Angeles. I guess I should be thanking him for his misplaced paranoia now that he saved you. Although, if he weren't there, Alice might have seen what was about to happen. She says she can't see around them..?" He questioned me.

"Yeah...I seem to have left out the most important details..." Good going, Iris. You're going to die from your own ADHD.

"It would seem so..." Edward frowned to himself.

"Where was Alice?" I couldn't believe she would just ignore my screaming like that...

"Alice...well, she says she was waiting for you, and she had a vision of the nomads. They were going to be close to the area. She ran to the edge of the woods to call Jasper to come help. She says she was watching for you, but by the time she realized that she couldn't see you, it was already over. Sam and I had already arrived." Shit. The meteors were striking from multiple directions.

There was one more part of the story that I needed answered, and I wasn't sure I would get that answer. I had to try though. "And you? You didn't say what brought you to the area..." My heart raced at the thought of Edward waiting in the shadows to protect me. The thought excited me and frightened me. Did I want a stalker? That's not usually a good thing. I see you, Joe Goldberg. But if it was Edward? Yes. Yes, I did. What the hell, Iris? Oh, shut up. You'd want that perfect specimen following you and defending you from harm that was sure to come at every turn too. God, stop talking to yourself.

"I had some things to pick up. I smelled the dog, and your...blood...so I ran to check on you." Oh. Talk about a letdown. "What is it? Are you in pain?" There were tears rolling down my cheeks. This was useless. He was perfectly content in his existence without me, the worthless human who couldn't walk straight. Well then, that's fine. I shouldn't chase after him anyway. I didn't have some kind of claim over him just because I looked like a girl who might have one day become his everything had I not gotten involved.

I wiped the tears off my face, and answered as normally as I could. "Yes, but it's ok. Thank you for all of your help. I'm sorry that I've been so much trouble to you guys since I've been here. You've been nothing but helpful, and I just can't seem to avoid problems no matter how hard I try." The stupid tears were still streaming.

"Iris? Iris, it's alright. It's no bother to help you. Please don't cry. We will figure this out, I promise. I will make you safe." He crossed the room, sat on the edge of the bed, and pulled me into his chest. Oh great, just what I need when I'm trying to convince my mind, body, and soul to stay away from you...your sensitivity, understanding, and solid rock pecks in my face. Holy fucking shit. Whoever is listening, make it stop!

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"Please don't leave me. I can't be alone right now."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

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	15. BirdsBeesAndBabies

Ch. 15 Birds Bees And Babies

Charlie was livid, almost appearing to be a vampire himself when he heard what had happened to me. He only calmed down when Edward explained what had happened to the guy. Edward stayed with me until Charlie came home, and Carlisle met him there after he left the hospital when his work-day was done to check on me again and reassure Charlie that I was alright. Carlisle had left mid-shift to treat me at the house earlier that evening, his way of trying to respect my wishes to stay out of the hospital after such a vulnerable time.

All of the Cullens and Charlie were amazing. Edward waited outside in the rain until he knew that Charlie was asleep, texting me goodnight on my fancy new Motorola Razr Charlie got me. Charlie had insisted on sleeping on the floor outside my room that night in case I needed anything. Alice came the next day to bring me breakfast and magazines before she left for school. I didn't go. I just wasn't feeling...up to it. Alice promised that she would tell me if she saw anything change at all. As of then, James's coven would still visit their house Wednesday afternoon. Esme brought me lunch and stayed with me until after the school day was done when Alice and Edward showed back up, and we watched a movie, choosing to forego my schoolwork. How the hell have I not been kicked out of school for absences yet?!

Rosalie even called when she arrived back at home to apologize to me after she heard about what had happened. Though her apology sounded more like her way of telling me to bug off, but I got it. I was making her life more stressful and separating her from her family. She did seem genuinely sorry about the potential attack by the asshole in the bathroom, though. She could relate, unfortunately...

But life goes on whether you wished it would pause for just a fucking minute so you could deal with your shit or not...Wow. Angry much, Iris? Deep calming breaths...

So the next morning rolled around and it was time to go back to school. I hid the stitches on the side of my head with a beanie and threw on a scarf and thick coat to brace against the cold. Surprise! It was raining again. I don't think I would have minded the weather so much in my other body, but this one didn't need any kind of increased risk for accidents.

But now was not the time to be miserable. I needed a new outlook on life. Edward didn't want me. I knew this. I was certain of this, and I was ok with it. But are you really ok with it, Iris? It didn't feel like it when you were silently crying all night every time Charlie would leave your sight for five freaking seconds. Were you ok with it then? Ok, fine, so I would be ok with it...eventually...maybe. I had to be.

I had never had so much free time in my life. I went from dodging my parents, to emancipating myself, and working as a nursing assistance sixty hours per week to pay my bills, to going to night school, to going to nursing school, to working as an RN, to going for my masters while still working in the hospital...and now? I just sat around waiting for my vampire buddies to come over to play. I needed a bigger village, something else to help pass the time. It was just so difficult to relate to seventeen year olds...except for one, but he didn't count since he was only seventeen by a technicality.

I grabbed my truck keys, and made my way out. And there was Edward, waiting patiently by his car, looking as gorgeous as ever. It was difficult to believe that it was just on Friday that I was apologizing to Edward for my rude behavior. So much had passed between us these last five days. No more lies or secrets. Well unless you counted the fact that I was helplessly, irrevocably in lo—hey! No more Twilight references!

"Good morning. Would you like a ride?" That and other things...

"Yes. Thanks. I wasn't really looking forward to driving that beast in the rain."

Edward chuckled. "You always drive in the rain. What's different about today?"

"I'm just convinced that my number is up. I've decided not to make it so easy for death, and me driving that death trap would be going against that promise to myself."

Edward threw his head back laughing. "I couldn't agree more." He held my door open for me.

"Shut up. I'm great in a Prius. That's what I used to drive."

"Very environmentally sensible of you." Edward approved with a smirk as he sat in the driver's side. He looked perfect behind the wheel, totally comfortable. Ugh, did we have to be alone in this car? His scent was driving me crazy. Think of something to say. You need to distract yourself.

"Bella loved the truck. She thought it was great, perfect for her even." I commented.

"Are you sure that I was really with her? It sounds like we had nothing in common."

He was laughing still, but I wanted to cry. Yes, you were with her, and you loved her...

"You had enough in common to have a baby with her." It was out of my mouth before I thought about the repercussions. Oh God. Use your Goddamned brain, Iris!

Edward made a choking noise, and slammed on the breaks, pulling off into the woods. If I hadn't have had my seatbelt on, I might have slammed into the dash.

"Easy! I'm a breakable human..." I attempted to distract him, but no such luck. Damn vampire brain.

"What? A baby? That's not possible. You mean that we adopted, correct? A human baby? Why would I agree to that?" He was firing off questions faster than I could answer them. Shit. I think I broke the vampire. Oops.

"Calm down. It's not real. Remember?"

"Explain. Now." So demanding...

"Well, you guys got married. Bella used her guileless wits to get you to do the deed with her—"

"What? While she was still human?!" I had a flashback of movie Jacob saying almost the same thing to Bella outside the wedding reception, and I snorted. A snort? Really nice, McGee.

"Yes. And, well, 1 plus 1 equals 3..." Gulp.

"No." He was in denial for sure.

"Yup." I popped the "p."

"No. It's not possible. Your book got it wrong." He was using his condescending kindergarten teacher voice again.

"Well, we could test the theory, but we'd have to find a willing participant..." I was blushing furiously. Me. Pick me. I'm all too willing...Whoa, need some water, Iris?

"That's sick." He tried to look at me disapprovingly, but the expression was still marred with disbelief and shock of what he was realizing.

"I was kidding, obviously." Of course I was...Kind of...no, I was, really. Right?

"So we...I..." He looked to be mentally solving a difficult math problem.

"You are fertile." I answered. "Congrats, dad." I chuckled awkwardly.

"How?" He still sounded incredulous.

"Are you looking for sex tips?" If he had ever wanted to murder me, I might have believed it in that moment. "Sorry." I pursed my lips tightly together. Geez, tough crowd.

"What was the explanation? I don't understand. If it were possible, wouldn't we know? Surely Carlisle and Esme...I mean Rosalie has been upset for so long..." He was worried about his mother and sister. Good God, he was a saint. I'm glad he wasn't interested in me. He was too good for anyone.

"Only male vampires and human females can...procreate. Apparently since human males are fertile their whole lives after puberty until death, you remain that way into vampirism. But how many human-vampire couples do you know of? Any? And if it were to happen, how many human women would survive long enough during or afterward to gestate? The Denali sisters sleep with human men, but obviously that wouldn't work the same way. Female vampires' bodies don't change the way that is required for the growth and development of an embryo and subsequent fetus."

Edward just nodded along with a blank face, staring a hole into the floorboard. Yup, I broke him.

"I think we should skip school. You should go home. You look pale...even for a vampire."

"No...I mean we can't skip school, and I'm not going home. I'm staying with you until the nomads are gone." He was still staring into space. His voice was kind of robotic. Why was he staying with me? I mean, it wasn't like I was going to argue...Wait, but shouldn't I argue? I had just told myself I was giving him up. Ugh I sounded like a relapsing addict, but isn't that exactly what I was? Edward was addictive. My own personal brand of heroine...ok, enough Twilight references from you, Iris.

"Earth to Edward!"

"Huh?" His uncharacteristically casual use of the non-word cracked us both, and we were laughing.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you that way. That's a huge thing to hear. After all of this is over, I promise to sit down with each family member, individually, and tell them everything I know."

"I'm over-reacting, clearly. It's just that I never thought that would be a possibility...for me to be a father one day."

"You were against it in the book. I can't believe you're being so cool about it now actually."

"Why was I against it? We were married, were we not?"

"Yes, but you were concerned because of it being half-vampire that something would happen to Bella. You wanted her to have an abortion, but she wanted to keep the baby. You and Carlisle had it all worked out, but Bella knew how to get her way. I told you she was resourceful when determined." I smiled to myself. The girl did know how to get things done..."She called Rosalie to be her bodyguard. It was the first time that Rosalie truly respected Bella for making a choice that she would have made herself." Sucks that Rosalie and I got to bond over a different kind of thing. Thank God it didn't happen to me like it did to Rosalie...I definitely owed Sam a big doggie bag.

"So what happened?"

I wasn't sure if I should tell him. I mean it was a happy ending I guess, but he just looked smitten with the possibility of being a dad, and I was pretty sure the truth of the horror scene that was the c-section...I shuddered...might ruin that for him.

"Was it that bad?" His brow furrowed.

"Bella had to be changed. It was...messy."

"Oh..." His face was unreadable.

"But the baby was perfect. She was—"

"She?" His eyes grew warm. Oh God. He wants to have a daughter now. I didn't see this coming...was he this happy about having a baby in the books? No, he wasn't...but it was mostly from Bella and Jacob's perspectives when she was pregnant...shit.

"Yes." I smiled tensely. "She has a gift that was kind of the reverse of what you and Bella could do."

"What could Bella do?"

"She was a shield, a mental shield. That's why you can't hear me."

"And the baby?"

"She could put her thoughts into anyone's mind with a single touch. No one could block her out."

Edward looked out the window. He appeared...wistful? Oh my God. This is it. He's missing Bella. He's feeling the loss now. He will hate me. You knew this was coming, Iris. Suck it up, buttercup.

"Iris, were you involved with anyone before you came here?" Wow. That's a subject change.

"Involved?" Where was this going?

"Yes. Were you married? Or did you have a boyfriend? Children?" What. The. Hell.

"Oh, no. I was really busy, and couldn't be bothered with someone else. I had just finished up grad school, and was studying for boards to be a nurse practitioner. Why?"

"Right." Was that disappointment in his voice? No. What the hell was he talking about this now for anyway?

"Did you ever want children?" Is he interviewing for an incubator? I might be secretly in love with the man, but this was pushing it.

"Well, I didn't stop to think about it at the time, but sure. Eventually." Where was this going? "Why?" I asked again.

"I always did. When I was human, that is. After the change, it was never possible, and without a mate, it didn't seem to matter."

"And now?" My heart was pounding wildly. Why are you happy about his answer, Iris. You didn't even want a baby three minutes ago.

"I couldn't put the one I love at risk like that. I suppose I understand why I wanted Bella to have a abortion in the book. A mate's well-being always comes first." A mate. He's taking about his mate. His future one. The one who is not me. Lucky bitch. Stop it, Iris. You were over him, remember? Turning over a new leaf and all that jazz.

"I'm sorry that I told you."

"Why?"

"Because I made you hope. I can see it in your eyes. You went from not caring about Bella, to missing her and the possibilities of her in one fell swoop. I'm so sorry."

"No. You misunderstand. I don't miss Bella. I told you. I can't miss what I never had, but..." He looked down through his lashes at me, and my breath hitched. I involuntarily leaned in.

"But what?" I spoke at just above a whisper.

"But..." Was I imagining the longing in his eyes? "We need to get to class before we're late." Oh. Yes I was imagining it all.

I was imagining things because I wanted him so desperately to notice me. I wanted him to say "screw Bella! I want you, Iris!" Or something along those lines. Obviously his turn of the century vernacular would allow him to word it more eloquently. No, Iris, you're friends with him. Friends is good. Friends get to hang out and talk about fun stuff, and not have to worry about the dramatics of love...I'm so screwed.

When we got to school, I thanked Edward and waved goodbye as we parted ways to go to our separate classes. Today was just not my day. Hell, this was just not my year.

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	16. McDowner

Ch. 16 McDowner

"Iris?! Iris, can you hear me?" Ugh...someone was holding my eyelids open and shining a light in it. What the hell are you checking my pupillary reaction for? It was a gunshot not a head injury. "Get her on the table! NOW!" I'd heard that tone from Dr. Powell often. It meant everything was going to shit.

"She's losing blood. I need 2 units of P-R-B-C's STAT. Do we have access yet?"

"Working on it. Iris, honey, stop moving your arm. I have to get the IV in. You've lost a lot of blood."

"S...susan?" My vision was growing dark. Like looking down a long tunnel with the lights out on a sunny day.

"Yeah it's me, honey." I really liked her. She was a badass nurse who got shit done. She could come off a little harsh, but we all knew she was only crass because she was so passionate about doing her job. I'm glad she was here.

"I...I'm..c..c..cold." I stuttered as I watched her short brown spiked hair bob up and down at my arm as she inserted the peripheral line. I didn't even feel the needle break my skin or the catheter inserted. This was bad.

"I know, honey. We're working on it. Stay with me. She's got access! Sean, give me the blood infusion set...What do you mean it isn't primed? What the hell have you been doing this whole time?! Give it to me." She sounded frantic. Susan always sounded so calm and collected. This was a really bad sign. I was going to die.

•PTaT•

"So that's when I told her that she would just have to get over it. Sometimes you just gotta say no, you know?"

"Yeah..." God, this kid was boring and full of himself. He had just spent the whole half hour lunch break recalling this one time he had a "stalker." Except he didn't have a stalker. The girl he was talking about was Gwen from my fifth period chemistry class. I overheard her one day talking about him, and how he wouldn't take no for an answer. I guess he decided if he told the story the other way around enough times, it might stick. Jackass.

I wouldn't have put up with this shit, but I was on an Edward detox. I decided I needed to branch out and make new friends, so here I was. Meet Matt McDerman, my newest friend. He likes to spread bullshit lies around school about helpless girls to make himself sound cooler, and he gets away with it because his daddy runs some big rig oil company outside of town. The only reason he lives in Forks is because his parents were legally separated, and his mom wouldn't start getting her checks until after the divorce. Jessica told me about that. Oh yeah, did I mention that she's talking to me again? Well, she is. I have the sneaking suspicion that this reunion has to do with me showing up to school riding with he-who-must-not-be-ogled. And HE was super ogle-worthy.

At least Angela is really nice and normal. I would have sat with her and Jessica at lunch except all the seats were taken, so Matt McDouchey it was. Won't make that mistake again.

Alice shot me a strange look from across the cafeteria, and Edward even looked a little confused when I walked away from the pair after gym, but I just told them I had already promised McDumbass that I would sit with him. I'm sure Edward would know that was a lie since McDickface was so surprised when I followed him back to his table. Sitting at this guy's lunch table must be like the Forks High equivalent of going back to his place because all the "popular" girls including Jessica and Lauren were shooting daggers my way. Well, come get him, girls. Please.

I'm sure I looked bored out of my mind because five minutes before the end of lunch, Alice danced over to where I was seated and asked, "Bella, come to the bathroom with me?" A bathroom, seriously? What are you up to, female vampire who hasn't conventionally used a restroom in seventy-some-odd years?

"Ok..."

I followed her out of the building and around the corner where she stopped close to the science building.

"Ok, spill."

"What?"

"Why do you look like someone killed your puppy?" Her tone was insistent. She came to conquer.

"What do you mean? I'm happy as ever. See?" I plastered a huge grin on my face for her sake.

"That's crap and you know it. What's wrong? Why didn't you sit with us?"

"I'm just giving you guys some space. How are you going to talk about me, if I'm always around?" I laughed humorlessly.

"We can speak at sub-human hearing levels, duh. Did your books teach you nothing? Now tell me what's wrong or I might go and find a puppy to kill."

"Too far, Alice. Animal cruelty is a real problem."

"Sorry, but stop trying to distract me. I hate seeing my best friend so sulky. Why won't you tell me?" Because I'm in love with your brother, and he doesn't even act like he sees me...

"Because I'm failing Spanish. I'm fluent in the language. How can I fail? I'm messing up poor Bella's impeccable record." I really was doing bad in there. It was just really hard to focus with...stop thinking about it, Iris.

"Nope. That's not it."

"I'm stressed about James and Victoria."

Alice hissed at the names, but perked back up immediately. "Oh just that? Don't worry about them. We've got that covered." She smiled. Well, I'm not so confident seeing as I'm mortal and all that. So...

"Yes, thank you, Alice. I'm sure it will be fine. Look, I've got to get to class. See ya."

"Cheer up." Alice kissed me on the cheek and bounced off to meet Jasper before her class started.

"Bella!" Oh look, it's Jessica. I'm so excited...

"So. What's going on with you and the Cullens? Are you guys like, friends?" Gag me. I changed my mind. I don't need anymore friends. I'll just go rot in a hole or something on my own.

"Yeah I guess."

"Ohmygosh! Tell. Me. Everything." She was so perky and envious. It was sad. I wonder if I just told her the truth that if she was friends with the Cullens her chances of living past the age of 18 were slim to none if she'd still want to be involved with them...Nah, she'd be excited about potential eternal youth. She'd probably start vampire cliques too.

"They're really nice. Alice likes to shop." My voice was so dead sounding, but she still squealed. Too much enthusiasm, please tone it down.

"I bet she didn't even look at the price tags. She always looks so perfect."

"I'll pass along the compliment. She'll be thrilled." I still sounded dead. Was this Bella's zombie voice?

"No! Don't tell her anything! She can't know that I asked about them." Too late, between her visions, super senses, and her mind-reading brother, there's a zero percent chance that she doesn't already know.

"Ok. I won't tell her. Secret's safe with me..." I made a show of zipping my mouth shut and locking it and throwing away the key. God, it's like I'm back in high school. Oh wait... "I've got to go. The bell rang like 3 minutes ago. Don't you have class too?"

"Free period." Oh so you just don't care if I'm late...bi—be nice, Iris.

I nodded, said goodbye, and walked away feeling like I had lost brain cells. It's fine. I didn't really need those anyway. It's not like I have severely injured my head three times in a month and half or anything. Whatever.

All through chemistry I just stared at the wall. I completed the stoichiometry equations during the lecture that were due at the end of class, finishing nearly twenty minutes before anyone else. That just meant more spare time to not think about you-know-who. Yay...

By the time I got to Spanish class, I was zapped. Emmett and Rosalie hadn't come back to school yet. They were back at the house practicing exposing Rosalie to my scent with some of my worn clothes, toothbrush, and hairbrush. Good luck. May the odds be ever in your favor...hey! That wasn't a Twilight reference. Progress!

There he was. McDreamy himself, staring at me with his amber eyes. Hola, guapo. Don't look at him. Just act chill. No big deal. Be normal. It's just...Ed—no don't think his name. You're detoxing from him.

"Hello, Bella. How was lunch?" He seemed polite as ever.

"Fine, thank you. How was yours?" I smiled innocently at him.

"Delicious." He chuckled. Oh, that voice...

"Good." I turned away from him to very slowly retrieve my pencil first, then my folder, and one more trip to get my workbook out. I was trying to take as much time up of this free first five minutes as possible without staring at the Adonis—Bella had it right—sitting next to me. I could tell he was frowning as I continued to take my time getting my desk ready.

"Is something wrong? You seem...off." Oh, now you're concerned with my mood? Good timing.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you though."

"Iris..." he whispered my name, making sure no one around would hear. "What is it? Alice said you were concerned about our...visitors?"

"Yes, but I know you'll be excellent hosts. I'll be fine, really." My chest was hurting. Is this what it felt like for your heart to break? I suddenly felt really bad for George, my favorite patient.

"We will take care of them. Don't worry about it." Famous last words...let's hope you don't have to eat those words, Edward. Oh crap. Stop thinking his name.

"¡Hola, clase!" Saved by the Spanish teacher yet again.

After school, I caught up to McDouche. Wow, I really need to practice thinking Matt, so I don't accidentally call him that out loud.

"Hey, Mc—Matt." See like that, idiot.

"What up, Iz?" Oh you're so clever. Is that how you get all the girls?

"Hey, could I get a ride home? I rode with someone else this morning, but—"

"Yeah, for you, anything." Ew. If he wasn't so scrawny I might be scared to be alone with him, but I'm pretty sure I could break this kid with my pinky.

"Thanks."

"Bella?" There HE was again.

"Hey. I'm going to catch a ride with Matt. Alice is coming over to the house later after she...hikes."

"You guys hike in the middle of the day after school too?" McDoodoo asked.

"Yeah they're real nature enthusiasts. I don't get it either." I shrugged.

"Are you sure? I don't mind driving you." HE said, ignoring the McDumpster. He looked really concerned, or at least I thought he did. I might just be seeing what I wanted to see again.

"Yup. Have fun." The Cullens had been hunting in shifts to stay as well-fed as possible to keep their strength up in case things got bad. Today they were all going, in groups of two at a time, to get ready for the meeting tomorrow. The plan was still to greet them and send them on their way, but I wasn't as optimistic as Carlisle. I hated that I couldn't just take care of the problem by myself. I think some of Bella's guilt-ridden, self-sacrificial tendencies were working into my brain.

"Alright. Just call me if you need anything...Anything at all." He stressed the last part, his voice low and sultry. No, no, no. It wasn't sultry. You're imagining this. Clean your brain out. We're detoxing over here!

McDipshit drove terribly. If it weren't for the fact that I lived so close, I might have jumped out of the car while moving, but I figured I could handle a couple of miles. He almost hit a truck...that was parked. What the hell?

I thanked him, and hopped out vowing to never stoop so low again. I would just have to drive my own truck from now on.

As McDimwit drove off, I noticed that Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the drive. Welp, I guess it's just me, myself, and Iris. I waked in the house, skipping the couch, and heading straight for my bed. I just wasn't in the mood to be a human tonight. Being a zombie felt much better.

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	17. FreeTime

Iris needs a job...anyone hiring? XD

Ch. 17 Free Time

2:48 A.M. The alarm clock on my bedside table was taunting me. I couldn't sleep. I knew that today James's coven would cross paths with the Cullens, potentially changing everything. Alice swore up and down that she saw everything going smoothly, but that future could shift with even the smallest, most seemingly insignificant decision change.

2:49 A.M. It was very humbling to think that this may be my last night of safety. At least it had been an ok evening. After I awoke from my nap, Alice came over to sit with me until Charlie came home. The Cullens didn't trust leaving me alone for very long anymore after the Port Angeles incident. We watched a movie, worked on homework, and didn't talk about a certain Cullen male. Well, I didn't talk about him. Alice seemed to not be able to shut up about him. Apparently he was in a bad mood when he got home. She attributed it to anxiety over the meeting today. Knowing him and his self-blaming, brooding personality, he was probably finding some way to twist reality and fault himself for these nomads finding them and putting his family in danger.

I only half-way listened to her speak about him. I had one of Bella's Linkin Park CDs blaring into my headphones most of the time while I conjugated Spanish infinitives into the future perfect tense. I know Alice could tell I wasn't listening, but she must have been kind of pre-occupied herself since she didn't call me out on it.

2:53 A.M. No one was outside tonight. It was raining, and Alice said, just to be safe, none of them should go anywhere near the house for at least 18 hours to allow their scent to fade enough that the tracker wouldn't get suspicious and come investigate. She said it was just them being overly cautious, but I knew she had probably seen what would happen if they didn't avoid the area. I shuddered at the thought of poor Charlie getting caught up in my bullshit. I turned on the CD player again, and slipped the headphones back over my ears, quietly humming along. _I tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter..._

4:47 A.M. I must have dozed off. Sleep was nice because you could just close your eyes and be totally unaware of how shitty your life was for awhile. Sleep was always my favorite activity when I was younger. Doctors would never have to worry about me getting my full nine hours of rest each day. Hell, I even threw in an extra two hours most nights for good measure. But not tonight.

6:31 A.M. I fell asleep again. I guess it was late enough to have my shower now. That would take at least twenty minutes, then I could dry my hair. That would take a little while too...

7:06 A.M. Well, now what? Charlie left for the day already. I told him I was going to be studying at a friend's house, and encouraged him to go eat over at Billy's house tonight.

7:18 A.M. I didn't feel like eating breakfast. It felt too much like a last meal. I wonder what Ed—No. You have to stop this, Iris. It's not healthy...Focus on something else...but what else is there? Oh that's shit. You know there is more to life than some guy. But he's not just some guy. He was everything.

•PTaT•

"She was my everything! She was my everything and now she's gone! What am I supposed to do? What should I do?" The pain in his voice was heart wrenching. It felt like someone was squeezing my trachea closed and punching my gut over and over as I stared hopelessly up at him.

"What should I do? What to do? Oh God. I can't believe this. What do I do? She is everything..."

•PTaT•

"Hello? Bella...are you in there?" I blinked a few times to a hand being waved in my face. Mike Newton. Look who decided to re-join my fan base. Hello again, old friend. I fought the urge to sigh.

"Mike?"

"Oh, so you are in there. I was pretty freaked out there for a minute." He smirked. Well, at least he was much more tolerable than McDouchey.

"Sorry, daydreaming." I offered lamely.

"Cool. So I was wondering if you were going to the dance on Saturday?" Oh my freaking shitballs. I thought we skipped this part of the story.

"I don't know..." I don't know why, maybe it was all the stress I was feeling or a hormonal imbalance, but I kind of wanted to see where this was going. No way was he going to do it...

"Well, Jessica came down with the stomach bug, and might not be up to going on Saturday with me, so I thought you'd make a great second." He smiled winningly. What? I couldn't help it. My face had a mind of its own, and it was clearly broken. I burst into a fit of laughter.

"You...what?" This was fucking hilarious. I couldn't take it.

Mike suddenly didn't look so sure of himself. "I just thought maybe you could be like a back-up in case Jessica couldn't go..."

"Oh my God...Mike...You can't..." I had to pause for air as I coughed from laughing so hard. "You can't just tell a girl that she's on-call for a dance." I was still gasping and wiping tears from my eyes.

"So is that a no or...?" Mike asked in a slightly annoyed tone. Almost like he wanted to say, "Can you just answer the question? I have six other girls to get to..."

Holy shit. "Oh my God..." I turned my back to him, still laughing and walked out of the cafeteria. I needed to cool off from nearly choking to death back there.

"Hey Bella!" Lauren Mallory? Well, this day was just full of surprises.

"Huh?" I stared at the blonde making her way toward me with purpose.

"I saw that back there. Jessica will be very interested to know that you made moves on her boyfriend."

"What?"

"Mike. I saw you two flirting back there."

"Ok." I'm not playing this game, Regina.

"You're not even going to deny it?"

Hmm...antagonize her or tell her the truth that she's not going to believe anyway...? Decisions...decisions..."No, I'm not going to deny it because you're right. I'm in love with him. Jessica will never be woman enough for Michael Leslie Newton." I made that middle name up. It sounded right in the moment. The devil on my shoulder won out this time. I told you that I have too much time on my hands...

"You, Bitch!" I heard her shriek and barely had a half of a second to think about what was happening before her hand flew toward my cheek, making contact with a SMACK. I knew there was a reason that I usually minded my own business. This is what happens when you try to have fun, Iris.

OOOH HELLLLL NAWW...

I recoiled from her hand in shock, taking a half a step back to calm myself, but the bitch wasn't going to control herself as well, and she jumped me. She actually jumped me with her scrawny ass! Holy Shit!!

Me, trying to be the adult that I was but didn't appear to be, I rolled up in a ball, resisting the urge to go all Mike Tyson on her and bite that pretty ear of hers off her face—which would take about 88-92 sutures to repair. It happened once in the ER—but she was relentless. She continued hitting me over and over and over as she straddled my center. I might have been concerned about head damage, except she was weak AF.

Well here goes my shot at being on student council next year...

"Ahhhhhh!!" I caught her around the center and body slammed all 94 pounds of her to the ground, rolling on top of her and pinning her to the ground.

"Don't mess with me, Bitch. You and Jessica can play your stupid games with Mike and McDickface for all I care."

Lauren's eyes grew wide, and for about 5 seconds I felt pretty smug. Hah! I showed you!

Then I heard him. "Miss Swan, my office, NOW!" Holy Fucking Shit. Are you kidding me? This crazy ish over here jumps me, beats the hell out of me while I let her, trying to not be a feral animal, I sucker punch her one time and defend myself and THAT's when the Principal decides to show up? Fuck Twilight.

"That was the grossest display of violence and vulgarity I've ever witnessed in my 42 years of working in education. I have never seen such a flagrant disregard for another human's well-being in my life!"

Has he never seen HBO? Or even that Gypsy show on TLC...? Maybe that's not out yet.

"Are you listening to me, Isabella? Your father, THE CHIEF OF POLICE—" Yeah I know what my dad's job is dude... "—is going to be so disappointed when I have to tell him that his only daughter assaulted another student on school property today. What do you have to say for yourself?"

"You missed the first five minutes of our disagreement where she attacked me, pinned me to the ground, and I controlled myself trying to wait for her to stop hitting me. You walked up on me actually defending myself from her."

"I've never had an issue with Miss Mallory. She's the founder of our 'Stand Tall Against Bullying' campaign." Stand Tall Against Bullying...S.T.A.B.? Whaaa?

"Is something funny about this to you?" I was trying my damndest to bite back a laugh.

"No, sir. But I think once I get a doctor to document the trauma Lauren did to my already injured skull, I might have enough for a lawsuit, and I doubt that my Police Chief Father is really going to stand back and let another student viciously attack his only daughter, especially when that student created a bogus group against bullying that really just meets every Wednesday afternoon to smoke pot behind the gym." I had seen Lauren with a couple of other guys and one other girl sneaking behind there two weeks back. I did see them smoking something, and couldn't be absolutely sure that was the group, but it sounded scandalous enough for this small-town to get me off the hook here.

"I..Uhh..." He looked flabbergasted at my claims for a second before he smoothed his face and cleared his throat, obviously trying to take back control of this situation. "Well, I will have to look into that accusation further using the appropriate channels, but it doesn't change the fact that I witnessed you partake in an aggressive verbal and physical attack against another student. You are suspended from school for one week. Pack up your things, go straight home, and I will call your father at the station."

Fan-fucking-tastic. I was never going to hear the end of this from the Cullens. One day out of their sight and I get in a fight and suspended. Let's hope they were fairing better with their enemies today than I was...

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	18. EyesOfDeath

Ch. 18 Eyes of Death

"Isabella Marie Swan, what did I teach you about bullies?" Charlie was using his cop voice again. How to answer this? He could be wanting one of two answers...

"Give 'em hell?" I smiled angelically. Doe eyes. They're your best asset here, Iris. Ham it up.

He paused with a stern look, before breaking out in huge grin. "Exactly. You made me proud, but did you have to get sent to the office, and make me have to go to a meeting with Tim? I hated that guy in school..." Huh. Damn Charlie was a cool dad.

It was almost 2:30P.M. The school called Charlie in for a meeting to discuss my abhorrent behavior, and he had just arrived back home. The nomads should be at the Cullen house around now Alice said...

"You mean, you're not mad?" I blinked, wide-eyed with amazement. Although, Bella never caused problems, so Charlie had no reason to not believe me about the cause of the fight with Lauren, but still, my parents back in the other world would have flipped. God forbid their reputation be destroyed by someone other than themselves...

"No, you tried to ignore her, and when she didn't stop, you stopped it." He shrugged and turned back to his game.

Well, if this is what discipline was like under Charlie's roof, then Bella was one lucky girl growing up.

"Hey dad?"

"Hmph." I took that grunt as an ok to continue.

"What was you favorite memory of me from when I was younger?"

"Why?" He seemed confused by the direction my thoughts had taken.

"Just wondering...a lot of it's fuzzy to me. You know, since I hit my head all the time." I laughed.

"Hmm..." He took a moment to think about it. "There was this one time when you were about five or six—no it was five because that was the summer I got my promotion...anyway, you were about 5 when I took you fishing one day." Of course it would involve fishing...I smiled fondly at my father figure, fishing aficionado. I loved him.

"I wanted to take you out on the boat, but you were scared. Your mom hadn't put you in swim lessons yet. She hadn't gone through her extreme water sports stage yet. She didn't meet the surfer until the next year..."He made a disparaging face, obviously making fun of whatever man had captured Renee's interest that time. I could only laugh. I saw this side of Charlie so rarely.

"Let me guess, his name was something insane like Rambo?" I giggled.

"Worse...Todd." Charlie chuckled.

"Todd? Bleh. I'm glad she chose Phil."

"But anyhow, you were scared, so it took a little bit of convincing—"

"And a lot of manipulation and bribing if I had to guess..." I sighed.

He only smiled, and kept talking. "No, it was Jacob."

"Jacob?"

"He was smaller than you...maybe three at the time, but he was scared of the boat too. You saw his face when he looked out into the water, and your little jaw set and you decided right then that you were going to help him get over his fear, despite your own. You took his hand and pulled him to the boat and said, 'see. It's not scary. Let's go. I wanna catch some fish.' And he hung on to every word you said..." Aww sweet little Jakey Poo.

"Bella, you've never been one to take risks. You think things through. You're careful, fearful to the extreme even sometimes, but if there's someone else in trouble, you've always put their needs first. You've always wanted to make sure that we all get on that boat together." I stared blankly at Charlie...Wow. I was not expecting to get a hidden life lesson out of this. I just wanted a cute story of little Bella, and here came Charlie with all this wisdom. Such a dad, a real Danny Tanner, except without the bad sweaters.

I needed to keep him safe. The longer I was here, the more I was understanding about Bella Swan. "Thanks Dad. Didn't you make plans with Billy tonight?" He needed to be close to Sam. He could keep him safer than I could.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't want to leave you alone..."

"No, I'm going to go study with Angela, remember?" I wasn't going to study with Angela. I was going to go upstairs and hide under my bed while I waited for the nomads to leave the area, but there's no reason that Charlie should have to worry about that.

"If you don't think it's a problem..." Charlie hesitantly stood.

"No, go. Get out of here!" I playfully ushered him toward the door. "Love you, Dad."

"Love you, Bells." He grabbed his coat and keys and was out to his car.

Well, now what? More time to waste...What did I do before I had vampires infiltrating and occupying every crevice of my brain?

I turned to go up the stairs when I heard the front door open and shut quickly.

"Dad? Did you forge—" I was cut off by a very frenzied Edward.

"I'm so sorry, Iris, we have to go, NOW." He was dragging me toward the stairs.

"What? Why? What's going on?!" I screeched.

"James—" Oh God, it's happening.

"Shit! How?"

"He caught your scent on your things in Rosalie's room. There's no time. You're coming with me to the airport. Where's your passport?"

"Upstairs in my room, second drawer on the top right! What about Charlie?!" Well, I guess Edward knows where your underwear are now. God, shut up! Not important, Iris. Focus!

Edward disappeared and reappeared in less than a second. "He'll be fine. Emmett and Rose are staying with him. Here, write a note quickly, something vague." He shoved a pen and notebook into my hands. I scribbled some nonsense excuse about needing to help a friend. I wasn't sure how this would go, and I needed some excuse if it worked out in my favor for when I returned. If I didn't come back from this, it needed to be ambiguous enough that Charlie wouldn't get caught up in this mess.

"Let's go!" Edward growled and didn't even wait for a response before sweeping me up and into his arms and running me to his car.

"Where are we going?" Edward was racing down the road, headed toward the 101.

"Shh." Edward pointed toward the woods and then toward his temple. He could hear someone. Most likely James was here. Shit shit shitity shit shit.

"I REALLY HOPE HE DOESN'T FIND US IN PHOENIX!" I called out in a terrible acting voice. Maybe I could distract him. No way was Edward going to take me to Phoenix anyway.

Edward rolled his eyes at my improvisation and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, but I guess he decided it was too late to not play along and answered in a normal, more convincing, level voice with a snarl, "He wouldn't be stupid enough to follow us to Phoenix." Oh yeah, vampires can usually hear without the yelling. Edward's phone rang, he answered in that rushed, sub-human tone so I couldn't hear, and hung up.

All of a sudden the car came to a halt. Edward stiffened for the briefest of seconds, whispering, "Stay here," before disappearing out of the car. Stay here? STAY HERE?! Sure, Edward, I'll just stay right here in the Volvo while you run off into the woods. It's not like there's a psychotic team of vampires out there looking for me! What the hell? Where was he going? Where was James? What was the plan?!

I stared out the window, straining to see anything through the blackened silhouette of trees. Was that him? No, just a tree...Where'd he go? Come on, come on, come on...

WHACK!

"SHIT!" I cried when Edward was thrown into the side of the Volvo, rocking the car violently onto two wheels before it fell back onto all four. "Edward?!" Oh God, he's dead. He's dead...I wanted to cry. No, he can't! Vampires don't die like that! He's fine. He's ok. He's ok, right? Why isn't he moving?! "Edward!" I cried out again.

Just as I was about to throw my door open, my hand already on the handle, Edward jumped up onto his feet, but stayed in a low crouch. A menacing hiss escaped through his bared teeth as he stared into the trees at someone who I obviously couldn't see with my stupid, useless human eyeballs.

Then out of the trees stalked a man with light brown hair. He was plain looking in the face, aside from his creepy-ass red eyes, and moved in a freakishly feline manner. James.

I was so locked in my state of fear and shock that I almost didn't realize he had someone with him, a boy—a human boy. McDouche?!

James pulled him out of the woods by the collar of his light blue button down. I could now see that he was unconscious, slumped awkwardly away from the feral-looking vampire, and covered in...blood. Oh God, the guy was an ass, but that didn't mean he deserved this as an end to his life.

"Hello, Isabella. Or is it, Iris?" James spoke to me for the first time, and his voice was strangely polite with a bit of a lilt to it.

"Leave her out of this!" Edward growled with a sneer. I could only look between the two with strange curiosity. It was probably the shock taking over, or maybe it was all my years of practice keeping cool in the storm of the ER, but all I could focus on was counting McDouche's respirations. I couldn't know the exact rate without a watch, but it didn't seem like it was fast enough. Only one chest rise and fall every ten seconds...he was dying.

•PTaT•

"Please...please...please..." The man was bawling into the doctor's coat. His eyes met mine, and he appeared to be speaking directly to me. I had to help him. I needed to save her. She was his everything, and I didn't save her. How could I not save her? How could I not see that without her, he was nothing? I needed to save her.

•PTaT•

"Iris, this is rather boring. I thought that Edward here would at least make you harder to find. He ran right to you, so predictable..." He sighed and paused theatrically. "And now? Well, you're going to die for his mistake." His tone was offhand, matter of fact, as if discussing the weather like, "Tomorrow there's a fifty percent chance of rain..." Except it was actually more like there was a one hundred percent chance that I would die tonight. Here. Now.

Edward growled ferociously, the noise deafening. There was no denying his true species when I heard the sound. "I said leave her out of this!" He yelled again.

What the hell was going on? I needed to get to Matt. He was dying!

"Drop the kid! It's me you want? Take me!"

"Iris, No!" I rushed forward, and Edward snatched me around the waist, pulling me behind him.

"Give us the girl, and no one gets hurt...well, except the girl, and most likely her friend here, but that's to be expected isn't it?" A sickly sweet, squeaky voice came from the woods, giggling.

Then I saw it. The flaming red hair. Victoria. It was two against one.

•PTaT•

"Please, you don't want to do this. You're a good man." I spoke in an exaggerated calm voice.

"Iris..." Sandy shot a warning glance to me, but I saw no other way out of this. He had us cornered. Sitting ducks.

"It's fine. He's going to put the gun down, and take a walk. Cool down a bit and think this through, aren't you?" I stared back into the dark eyes of death.

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	19. IsabellaMarieSwan

Ch. 19 Isabella Marie Swan

"Sweetie, this is a very generous offer that you're making, but Phil's season will be done in just a few months, and all will be back to normal. Of course, then his spring training will start back up..." Renée looked down with a furrowed brow. "I don't think I like the idea of you being so far away."

She wanted to go with him. I could see it in her eyes every time she talked about him. She'd get this look of far-off wistfulness whenever the topic of Phil came up. That's why I made the decision to go see Charlie, my dad. I felt bad that I never spent much time with him, only two weeks of every summer, but he lived so far away in the absolute worst climate in the country. I also didn't want to leave mom, but what else could I do? Mom loved Phil, and they were only just married a few months ago. They needed this time together, so it was off to Forks, Washington for me.

"Mom." My mother is very childlike in many ways, so you have to be stern, but loving when speaking to her. "I'm going to live in Forks with Dad. It's not like I'm moving to a commune. It's Forks. It's Dad." I rolled my eyes, brushing off any fears my mother might have of the dreary town up in the Olympic Peninsula. Great. Rain.

"Yeah I guess you're right. I'm just being silly. I worry about you sometimes. You're too good for your own good."

"That makes no sense." I giggled, and Renée laughed along.

"I'll miss you, my Bella Bell. Promise to call me all the time and email at least once a week?"

"Sure, mom." She lost her phone charger at least once per week, and rarely remembered her password to her email. I hoped Phil would be able to keep up with that stuff for her while I was gone. He had been doing well enough so far, though.

"Ok, good. So I guess this means we need to go shopping for winter wear! Eeeeek!" Ugh, shopping.

"Can't you just go without me. You know what I like...t-shirts, jeans...you know, easy stuff. Nothing flashy."

"What, and lose the opportunity to go shopping with my one and only daughter before she flies across the country, possibly never to be seen again?"

"Moooom!" I grumbled. She loved to guilt-trip me into things like this. It's a good thing I loved her. I glared playfully at my free-spirited, eccentric parent and realized how much I would miss her too, but it's ok. She needed this. I was doing the right thing. "Ok, fine. But. Nothing with sequins or tassels."

"Did you think I was dressing you for a Cabaret show or something?" She laughed.

"Never know when you get involved." I giggled.

•PTaT•

It had been a month, and today was the day. I was leaving beautiful, perfectly sunny Arizona for gloomy, freezing cold Washington.

"Did you get your passport?"

"I'm not flying out of the country." I stated.

"Hey, you never know!" Only my mother would think that I might randomly decide to take an unplanned trip outside the border and need my passport. It's something she would do, after all.

I took out the last of my small amount of luggage—I only brought one suitcase, and my carryon—in the trunk of Phil's Toyota, and walked along side my mother toward the check-in desk.

"Ok, I can get there on my own from here, Mom." I sighed as she fretted over my hair, and rolled down my sleeve she had rumpled when hugging me.

"Oh, baby, I know you can. You're so grown up. Much more grown up than I ever was at your age. Oh, Bella, I'm so proud of you. I love you, sweetie." There were tears in her eyes. Renée was always one for the dramatics.

"Love you too." I said back quietly, but sincerely. I never knew how to display emotions properly. I was always so awkward. I was like my dad in that way.

"Tell Charlie I say 'hi.'" She smiled, and finally released me to leave for my purgatory of the next two years.

As the plane ascended into the clouds, I looked out the window over the flat reddish-brown backdrop of Phoenix. I would miss the sun, the scent of creosote, the low lying mountains, and sparse vegetation. Now everything was going to be green and squishy. I sighed to myself and closed the window as I slumped into my seat. Four hours. Four hours until the plan would land and my new life in Forks would begin.

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	20. WitsEnd

Ch. 20 Wits End

Her wild mane of curly red matched her ruby irises perfectly. She stalked toward me with her mate not far behind, and I cowered, heart pounding, into the side of the Volvo behind my only protector. I kept my eyes on Matt. One breath in six seconds, better but it was labored.

A feral roar rose from Edward's chest as he growled, "You'll never get to her."

"Those are confident words for someone who's outnumbered. It looks like we will have no problem at all getting to her from where I'm standing." Victoria stopped to look at her nails and spoke in a dismissive tone like she had no care in the world. James waited mere feet behind her with his arms folded casually across his chest and a smirk. They were toying with us. As much a I loved Edward and trusted him, there was a very good chance that we would not walk away from this, especially not me.

"Well, if you're here for the girl, come get her. Go ahead." Edward announced as he straightened himself to stand erect. What? No! Stop egging them on. What the hell happened to five seconds ago when you said they would never get me?! Did he really give up that quickly? He must have gone through all his viable options and realized that there was only one...to hand me over, and save himself. Oh God...

Tears began streaming down my face. I had loved this man since before I had even come to this world, had been willing to sacrifice myself so he could have his mate back—the stupid plan blew up in my face, but still the intent was there—and this is how he repaid me? Maybe he lied before and had been harboring this animosity toward me ever since I told him I had replaced Bella. Perhaps I deserved to go this way after ruining his and his family's future. I stole their happy ending.

"Is that a challenge? I live for a good game." James smiled widely, exposing all of his sharp, pointed teeth. Victoria just continued to giggle dangerously. Oh, I'm so dead this time...

Each of the predators crouched low to the ground and slowly began to circle the car, leaving Matt on the ground alone.

"Edward..." I spoke through my teeth.

His only response was a slight turn of his head in my direction with a brush of his hand against mine. Then he was also lowered back into a protective crouch. What the hell was happening?!

I needed to get to Matt. He was still losing blood. His once blue shirt was now soaked in garnet. His breathing looked like it was getting faster, but shallower. He was close to his end. I'd seen this happen to so many patients before. I looked back between Victoria and James. They wouldn't hold back much longer. I could see Victoria's eyes shift between Edward, me, and the blood oozing from Matt. I couldn't tell where the wound was from here, but I needed to get to him. I needed to save him.

"End this. Now." Edward spat. Holy shit! Don't you see that this situation is not in our favor? You couldn't stall a little bit longer? Where the hell was everyone else anyway?! Where were the Cullens?

Then Victoria's head shot to the left toward the woods, and she began to run.

"Oh no you don't!" Edward said as he left me to go after her.

"Edward!" I screamed. Had that bastard just left me alone with James?! Just as I had the thought, James mouth curled into a wicked grin, and he pounced. I squeezed my eyes closed, not willing to watch my own death unfurl. Feeling it would be bad enough.

But there was never any contact made. Instead I heard the loud, thunderous crashing of stone followed by the piercing screech of metal shredding. Just as soon as the awful sound began, it was gone. I opened my eyes to see Emmett standing holding James head, and smiling. "Told you I'd get him." He shrugged and nonchalantly picked up the rest of James which had fallen to the ground, and he ran off in the same direction Edward had gone. What the fucking hell?

I stood shell-shocked, heart still pounding and breathing erratic, for approximately 2 seconds. Then all my training kicked in. I didn't know where the hell Victoria was, or what the other vampires were up to, but I had my own responsibility here. I needed to get to Matt. I needed to save him if I could.

I fell on my knees to sit beside the broken boy. "Matt?" No answer. "Can you hear me?" Nothing. "It's Bella. I'm going to do what I can. I'm so sorry you got caught up in this..."

I ripped his shirt open, exposing his chest and where the blood was coming from. Blood trickled from a huge gash in his right shoulder. I felt for his pulse at the carotid, and it was racing. Good. He still has a beating heart. I had to stop the bleeding. I removed my coat and shoved the material into his chest, holding pressure over the wound. I needed help. Where the hell was everyone?

Another shriek of ripping metal echoed from the forest, but I couldn't think about the implications of the noise. Shit. Was that one of the Cullens? Was Victoria coming for me now too? No, focus on Matt. I had to save Matt.

He was gasping for breath now. I released one of my hands from holding pressure to feel for his pulse again. Still there. Ok. He's still got oxygen circulation...barely but it's there...oh who am I kidding? He's going to die without more help. I couldn't save him like I couldn't save her.

•PTaT•

The light was bright, and everywhere, all-consuming. It was warm. I could finally feel something. Is this what dying felt like? Was this the part that everyone describes after surviving a near-death experience. This didn't feel like near-death...this felt like the real deal...final.

Even as I realized this was the end, a sense of peace overwhelmed me.

"Iris, welcome." A female voice echoed from far away, yet I could hear it clearly as if she were standing beside me. What a strange sensation to experience.

"Where am I? What happened?" I asked in awe.

"She shouldn't be here." A man's voice cut through this time. He seemed calm, but confused, a question in his tone. I shouldn't be here? Then where should I be? Then everything was dark again.

"Iris?! She's crashing! Get that saline wide open! Get the crash cart ready!" These voices were harsher, not as peaceful as the others. I wanted to tell them to send me back. And that annoying beeping! God, make it stop!

"Oh my God...He didn't want her. It was me. It was me. Iris, I'm so sorry. He wasn't after her. This is all my fault." A female wailed from somewhere across the room. Sandy? What was she talking about? How could this be her fault?

"Get her out of here!" A male voice called, Dr. Powell, I realized.

"B-P eighty-two over forty-seven, heart rate one forty-two." Oh shit. That was bad. It was bad, and yet, somehow I couldn't seem to care enough. I could feel my time here ending.

"No, she saved me! Please! Iris!"

"I said get her out!"

Saved her? Yes...I needed to save her. She was everything to him, and I didn't save her. I should have saved her...

•PTaT•

"Iris?" I heard someone behind me, but I couldn't move. I needed to save him. "Iris, I need to take the boy to the hospital. It's over. Victoria's dead. You've done well. You may have given us just enough time to save him, but I need to run him there now." Carlisle spoke urgently. Carlisle? Yes. Carlisle.

I fell back on my heels just enough for him to push past me to get to Matt. He proceeded to slide his one hand under both of mine to replace them holding pressure, scoop the boy up in the same fluid motion, and they were gone.

Victoria was dead? James was dead? I exhaled a sigh of relief, laying my face in my hands.

A light wind blew around me. "Iris?" I involuntarily shivered at the velvet sound. No! You're pissed at him. He was going to let you die!

"What?" I spat. What the hell could he possibly have to say right now?

"You're angry." Pfft. That's all?

"No shit." I sat back on the grass, refusing to look Edward in the eyes, but he kneeled down in front of me, ignoring my obvious attempts to block him out.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't explain to you properly before because that would have tipped them off. I needed to stall long enough for Emmett to get here. When I left you, he was already mid-air to meet James. Please, you have to believe me. I would never leave you unprotected..." I continued to glare at him. Yeah, I'd heard this all before...'I will protect you...' blah blah blah, and as if he could read my mind he said. "Never again. I'll never forgive myself for allowing you to get hurt by that monster." He reached out to place his finger beneath my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. Intense sincerity was burning in his eyes. He was obviously wrecked with guilt.

"Why do you care?" I asked. His words and the look in his eyes reminded me of all the times he and his family had intervened since I had been here, and a thought occurred to me.

"What?" He frowned, dropping my chin as bewilderment replaced the remorse from moments before.

"Why do you act like you care so much? I don't get it. I'm a human. Yes, I know your secret, but why am I involved in this?"

"James—"

"No, not just now. Why did Alice stop the van before? Why did you both stop me from leaving town? You didn't know me then. If you had left me alone, I wouldn't be here. This wouldn't have happened. Your family wouldn't have been in danger. I would have probably died somewhere along the way, but still, your family wouldn't have had to worry about it. I mean, people die everyday around you, and you don't stop to save them." I was totally confounded about everything. None of this made sense.

"I would never let you die. Do you want to die?" He velvet voice had a roughness to it now.

"Don't you turn this on me! Answer the question! Why me?"

"I told you! You were so vulnerable...We had to save you from yourself so many times—"

"No, shut up. That's bullshit. Why? Why did you guys get involved?!" He was going to tell me. I was done with being left out of the loop.

"Why can't you just thank me and get over it?!" He was yelling now too, but I didn't care. I wasn't afraid of him. Ok, maybe a little, but surely he wouldn't kill me after all that?

"Why can't you answer the question?!" I countered. Why did he have to be so stubborn?! Why couldn't he just tell me what I needed to hear, release me from this hell I was in, fawning over him, following him around, lost in all that was Edward Cullen.

"You want to know why I saved you? Why we have all stopped everything to keep you alive?" He stalked forward slowly, gracefully. The anger still evident. This was it. I would finally get the answer. "Are you that unobservant? Can you not see anything?" Excuse me?

"Are you really taking this opportunity to tell me what a daft human I am? Great!Thanks a lot!" I hollered sarcastically. He was shredding my heart into pieces. Tears were brimming into my eyes. My face felt flushed, and a knot was rising in my throat.

He laughed bitterly shaking his head and running his hands through his hair. "I can't believe this. You don't get it. You really can't see it." He mumbled almost to himself.

"SEE WHAT?!" I cried. I was way past my wits end with him. I wanted this conversation over, and, yet, I feared what would happen when it did end.

He finally closed the short distance between us, grasping my shoulders in his firm grip, but not so tightly as to bruise me, and bent to look me in the eyes. My heart skipped a beat from his nearness, and I gasped, inhaling his saccharine, honey-filled scent.

"All this time...all these conversations, and you still can't tell. You are totally clueless, obtuse, to what's right in front of you..."

"Wait just one—" Now he was just being an ass.

"Iris," I closed my mouth when I heard the broken desperation in his voice. "I love you."

What? He...Oh.My.God.

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	21. ConfessionsOfAnEdwardOholic

Ch. 21 Confessions of an EdwardOholic

"You love me?" I sputtered out. What the hell had just happened? First he was calling me stupid and inattentive, and now...?

"Inexorably." He released my shoulders to grasp my hands in both of his instead, staring deeply into my shocked brown eyes. "I'm sorry to tell you this way. I know you don't...feel as I do, but I couldn't help myself. I've kept this to myself for so long now, that I felt like I might implode."

"That...would be bad." I murmured to myself. What did he just say? Wait...what the hell did I just say? There was a flurry of thoughts swirling in my mind, clouding my ability to decipher the meaning behind his words. He loves me? He's loved me for a long time? Damn. "When?" That's not what you wanted to say, Iris.

"I became enamored by you almost instantly, but I couldn't understand it. You were a human, a stranger. That first day in the gym..." His words trailed off and hung in the air as he looked down at our hands, shame consuming his expression. "I'm sorry, but I have to apologize for something else. I lied to you."

Shit. He didn't love me. This was all some horrible joke. What was I going to do? I couldn't keep up this game much longer. My heart couldn't take it.

"I told you that Alice had a vision of Jasper slipping...that that was why we left, but that isn't what she saw that day."

"What?" I had to force the word out. Why was he telling me this now?

"I saw you. I had made up my mind that I was going to approach you, to offer help when you were hurt because I had been looking for an excuse to speak to you from the moment I laid eyes on you, but Alice had a vision of you cowering away from me in fear. You were screaming, yelling at me not to hurt you. I couldn't understand at the time why you would be so afraid of me, but after you told me later that Bella was meant to be my singer. I understood. The look of anger that you saw that day in the gym was disgust at myself, disgust of what I am and what this damned curse of a life would do to you. To see such a vulnerable, innocent, perfect woman as yourself be so scared of just my presence...it infuriated me. Alice could see how upset I was, so she pushed me from the room to calm me down. The next day when that...boy...nearly killed you with his thoughtless driving, I wanted to save you, but Alice reached you first. I was so shocked by the level of emotion that came from just the thought of losing you before I even knew you that I hesitated for just a moment too long. If I could have ended my own life that day for nearly allowing you to die, I would have." His voice broke. "I asked Alice if it would be alright for me to speak with you after the accident. I had to ensure you were ok after you hit your already injured head." He wasn't playing a joke. He actually loved me, and I was too stupid to see it. Damn it! Why was Edward always right? "Then you weren't afraid of me. It was worse. You were indifferent." I could see the manifestation of his heart breaking displayed in his face. It was horrible. I knew the feeling all too well, and there was no way I would let him continue to feel it.

"Edward..." I began, but he cut me off.

"No it's alright. I know this is too much. You deserve so much better than this life."

"But—" I started again, only to be cut off again. Aww, come on!

"I'll be fine. Please stop worrying about me. I—" He was spiraling into his self-deprecation mode.

"Shut the hell up!" I shrieked, and he started. I needed to shock him back to reality. I guess it worked since he stopped talking. How the hell could he think I didn't love him...? Oh shit, Iris, because you never told him, you idiot!

"Excuse me?" His eyes grew wide at my outburst.

"Stop telling me how to feel. You're such a control freak, pushing me away before I can reject you..." His eyes lowered, and pain shot through his features. "Which I'm not doing." He looked up again suddenly, and hope filled his eyes.

"You—"

"Have loved you since I read the first Twilight book at fifteen years old." I finished for him. My heart was racing with what I was saying. My mind still couldn't catch up to what had just happened...how much and how quickly things had shifted by Edward's admission. "But that love was shallow, meaningless, an echo of something to be desired compared to what I feel now that I know the man off the page. You are so much better, so much more than what I thought—" I was cut off by his frozen lips pressed into my own, one of his arms winding around my waist and the other up into my hair, pulling me closer.

I couldn't help it. The reaction was natural, visceral. I jumped up, winding my legs around his waist, and he moved to support me before I fell down. He was everywhere. He was everything...

Then I remembered how difficult it was for him to kiss Bella in the books, and I pulled back quickly. Edward felt what I wanted, and released me instantly, shame once again consuming him.

"I'm sorry. That was too forward of me. It's just that you're so beautiful, and with what you said, I thought—"

"How can...you...kiss me?" I huffed out. Kissing Edward was exhilarating. I could barely catch my breath. "That didn't...bother you?"

"Bother me? No. Why? What do you mean? Was it bad?" There were a million expressions going through his eyes, mostly negative ones. Shit.

"No, nothing...Never mind!" I threw myself back at him, and he stiffened for the shortest of seconds before he accepted me willingly with a low chuckle against my lips. We broke away a minute later when a rustling came from behind us.

"Get a room!" Emmett called as he casually walked out of the trees. What the hell? I shot the bird at him over Edward's shoulder, and he and Emmett burst into a fit of laughter.

•PTaT•

"Iris!" Sandy called from across the hall as I wheeled my computer out of a patient's room. She was smiling ear to ear. I'd never seen her so happy.

"Hey. What's got you so excited?" I quirked my brow at her with a knowing smirk. I guess her date went well the night before.

"Just a certain guy I know...I mean he's no Edward Cullen, but you know..." she bit her lip.

"Shut up." I laughed. She loved to tease me about my slight Twilight obsession leftover from my teen years. Most days I regretted telling her. "So you had fun? Is it true love?" I asked in a sing-song voice.

"Hah. Love. Right...does that even exist?" She looked to the ceiling with a sigh as she followed me back to the nurses station.

"I'll let you know if I find it, but I doubt it. Too many assholes out there." I laughed.

She giggled along with me, but then she got a serious look on her face. "I don't know. It's not love, but it's something. It's just...complicated." She really was all messed up over this guy.

"Do I ever get to meet this not-love-but-something, complicated guy? Maybe I could kick his ass for you after I take that self-defense class. Knock some sense into him..."

She snorted. "Remind me to never let you meet any of my dates." She squirted me with a saline flush that I didn't realize she had grabbed off the shelf.

I dodged the water gracefully, allowing the stream of liquid to fly over my shoulder and hit Susan square in the face.

She glared at me from where she sat charting. "Sorry." I said biting back a smile, then back to Sandy, "I will not. You're too fragile. You need protecting." She only shook her head smiling again.

"Ok...one little detail to keep you biting...His name is John."

•PTaT•

"And then I threw his head at hers, and it popped right off! It was awesome!" Emmett was way too excited to retell his story of how he took down not only James, but Victoria as well.

"Emmett McCarty Cullen!" Esme was practically radiating fury. I had never seen her so upset. Emmett sure as hell stopped laughing when he heard her. He looked like a dog with his tail between his legs. Jasper coughed to try to unsuccessfully cover his laughing. Esme's glare shifted to him, and he stopped too. No one wanted to feel her wrath.

"Sorry, Mom." I wanted to laugh at the look of innocent sadness in his eyes, like a twelve year old being reprimanded for bringing home a report card with low grades.

"So, wait, start from the beginning. Where was everyone else?" I was still so confused about all I had missed while I had to play 'hide the human.'

"No, you wait. You think we're going to just let you sit there all prissy and ignore how you kicked Lauren's ass today?!" Emmett had apparently made a quick recovery, tail back to wagging. I guess Alice must have seen and spilled the beans because I hadn't told anyone about that yet.

"Shii—crap." I glanced apologetically to Esme and Carlisle on the sofa. I was seated comfortably in my boyfriend's lap. You heard that right, MY BOYFRIEND. Hell yes.

Edward chuckled behind me, and I turned in his arms. "You aren't going to defend me? Tell you brother to leave me alone? Nothing?" I tried to put on an expression of being emotionally wounded. Edward only grinned that damned crooked smile of his and pecked me on the forehead.

"No, because I'm interested to hear this story too. How on Earth did you end up in a fight with Lauren Mallory? Alice won't tell us." He glared at his pixie of a sister, also sitting in her man's lap. She only smiled angelically and winked at me as she giggled.

"Fine. I just...I was stressed out all morning, and then Mike asked me to the dance—"

"I'll kill him." Edward said darkly.

I rolled my eyes, but continued, "but he made it sound like I was only going to go with him if Jessica backed out—"

"I'll make him suffer first, then I'll kill him." Edward spoke in a menacing voice through his teeth.

"Can I finish my story or are you going to keep interrupting?" I said impatiently to my boyfriend. Man that word was fun to think. Boyfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend...

"Go ahead."

"Thank you."

"As I was saying..." I paused to look pointedly at Edward. He waved me on with a smile. "I laughed in Mike's face for being so untactful."

"He deserves worse than a laugh—"

"Ahem."

"Sorry." Edward smiled sheepishly at me, and Esme laughed, looking between us both. She was over the moon with our newly formed relationship. Carlisle seemed to be biting back a smile as well.

"Lauren saw us together, and when I walked away from him, she confronted me, and said she was going to tell Jessica. I went against my better judgement, and decided to irritate her a little bit. I told her that she was right that I was madly in love with Mike, and that Jessica wasn't good enough for him."

Edward released a low growl in his chest, so I smacked him on the shoulder. "Hey guess who's lap I'm in...not Mike's." He narrowed his eyes a little, but then smiled widely, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"Thank you." He whispered, and his cold breath went down my shirt. I shivered with pleasure, and Edward's lips moved slowly downward toward my lips. Ugh his kisses were the best. I was almost panting in anticipation to my own chagrin, but it made Edward smile so whatever...Just as our lips almost touched, I ran into something else. I opened my eyes to Emmett's hand on my mouth.

"Ew! Gross Emmett!" I spit on the floor out of reflex, wiping my mouth to symbolically get rid of Emmett's germs, then immediately felt guilty for spitting on Esme's perfect rug. "Sorry Esme. What the hell, Emmett?"

"That's alright, dear. Emmett is going to clean the rugs later. All of them. By hand." She smiled sweetly, but there was something to her eyes. Damn, Esme.

Emmett glared at me, but said, "no time for your lovey dovey barf fest. Get to the part where you kicked her ass."

"And then I kicked her ass. The end." I smirked at Emmett, and went back to Edward's open arms.

"So sorry, love. I had my eyes closed too. How do you think I feel? I kissed my own brother's hand." I patted his chest in a gesture of comfort, and Edward looked happy as a lark.

"Poor, Eddy..." I crooned, and winked at Emmett who rolled on the floor in laughter.

Edward's grin shifted to an over-exaggerated frown. "No, not you too..."

"I love you." I answered him. Truly I did.

"Not as much as I love yo—" A pillow flew right into his face, cutting him off, and feathers flew everywhere.

He turned searching for which of his siblings assaulted him. His eyes landed on Alice. Alice?!

"Sorry, Iris, but Emmett's right. Total barf fest."

Everyone laughed, except Edward who let out a growl, and jumped up, leaving me haphazardly tossed on the sofa, and crouched in front of me.

"What is it?!" I screamed. Holy crap. What was it? Another vampire? Where was Laurent? Alice and Jasper said they lost him in the woods before. Was he back to get me?

But as I righted myself and scanned the room, I saw what had Edward so worried.

Rosalie was coming slowly down the stairs, as beautiful and deadly as ever. Her eyes were a bright gold, but I could tell she was struggling to maintain her composure.

"Babe..." Emmett started.

"I'm fine." Rosalie hissed through her teeth, but her eyes trained into my neck. I pulled my shoulders up, and put my chin down against my chest in an attempt to hide the artery I knew she was staring at.

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	22. FoodPoisoning

This chapter is a bit of fluff, but I thought it necessary for the relationship to progress naturally since Edward doesn't really know too many details about Iris before professing his love for her—my bad...I jumped the gun there...It's mostly been the mating bond driving them together, but Iris has had the benefit of knowing the important stuff about Edward...you know, things you should probably know about the one you love.

Hope you like the literary liberties I have taken so far! Happy Reading!

Ch. 22 Food Poisoning

"Rose. I love you, but if you come any closer to my mate, I will remove all your limbs." Edward growled. Whoa, Ed, that's your sister. Can't we all just get along? Hold on! Did he just say mate?! Holy shit! I mean, I'm happy, but wow...

"Eddy, I love you, man, but I'll kill you if you touch her." Emmett growled back.

"Boys!" Esme chided. A weird feeling of calm, almost like I was floating, filled the room. Jasper stood in front of Rosalie and Emmett, while Alice came to stand behind me, and squeezed my shoulder.

"She's fine...for now." Jasper said.

"She won't hurt you as long as you stay where you are." Alice shrugged.

"I'm not comfortable with her being here. Let's go—"

Several things happened at the same time. Edward quickly moved to pick me up. The motion must have created just enough of a wind for my scent to waft toward Rosalie who had just started to take a practice breath, testing the room. Horror flashed across Edward and Alice's faces just as Rosalie sprung toward me.

Edward growled, pulled me into his arms, forming a cage around me with his body, and jumped backward, flipping the couch over. He landed on his feet lithely, and moved me behind him as he stood in a protective crouch.

Rosalie, however, simply straightened herself, flipped the couch back over, and had a seat where Edward and I had been a moment before. She grabbed a magazine from the coffee table, and flipped her hair over her shoulder as she proceeded to then peruse said magazine. What the fucking hell just happened?! I was panting as the adrenaline in my system slowly dissipated.

"Are you kidding me, Rose?" Edward snarled. Looking me over to make sure there were no lasting injuries on me.

"I'm fine." I whispered, taking deep calming breaths.

"What? You thought I was actually attacking her?" Everyone in the room stood stalk-still. Carlisle had one hand still on Rosalie's upper arm. Esme's gaze shifted between Rosalie, Edward, and Me. Jasper had only just straightened after she had pushed him out of the way, and Rosalie just continued her rant casually as if she didn't notice any of her surrounding family members. "Apparently you could make out with her when she was your singer...you think I can't handle being in the same room as her? Hah." Damn. Rosalie Hale was batshit crazy...and I think I liked it.

"Hell yeah! That's my girl!" Emmett slammed into the couch, and swung his arm around his mate, pulling her to him.

"Well done, Rosalie." I clapped my hands together. "I see why Emmett the prankster loves you. You're the master." She wouldn't look at me, but I saw the very edge of her mouth twitch.

The rest of the room relaxed then. Alice sat back down with Jasper, and Esme and Carlisle disappeared up the stairs. I tried really hard not to think about what I couldn't hear but was probably about to happen up there...Ew.

Edward looked at me like I had lost my mind. "I don't know you at all, do I?"

"I'd wager that I know more about you...but I've had years to study." I shrugged.

"Then I suppose I should catch up. It's only after six now. How would you like to go for dinner?"

"Are you asking me out?"

Emmett and Jasper wolf howled from where they sat. As the girls just looked to one another and rolled their eyes.

"Of course. I would like to properly court you." Edward said matter of factly.

"I need to call Charlie first..."

"Already did. I told him that I was studying with you and Angela, and asked you to stay over a little late to help finish a project since you don't have school tomorrow anyway." Man, Alice was amazing.

"I know." She said, answering my comment I was about to make.

Then I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I looked like I belonged in a mugshot. "Oh, I'm not dressed for a date." I blushed.

"I can help with that!" Alice jumped out of her seat, running at her natural speed to my side. "Yes! I knew I would need this one day!" Alice sang, and she pulled me into her arms and had me up the stairs before I could even ask what in the name of Sam Hill she was talking about.

"Alice, I have legs you know..."

"But mine are so much faster." She answered.

"Ok, I'll give you that." I laughed. "So what's up here that you just knew that you would need?" I asked as she disappeared into her closet. Then I remembered what fashion was like in 2005. Hell no. "If you come out here with a juicy tracksuit, Ugg boots, and a trucker hat, so help me God, Alice—"

"I would never, and this is perfect." She came out of her obnoxiously large walk-in closet holding a cobalt blue blouse with a deep 'v' neckline and bell sleeves. She paired it with a pair of dark bell bottomed jeans and a gold strappy heel. The outfit was exactly something I would have picked out. Alice's psychic abilities certainly were handy.

"Well, that's one way to get rid of me..." I murmured when I saw the heels.

"Oh hush. They're stunning! And do you really think Edward would let you injure yourself?"

"Depends on how obnoxious I'm being."

Alice rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out. "You'll be fine. Now go change so I can fix your hair. It's a mess."

"Well, excuse me, I didn't plan on almost being murdered by two demented vampires today when I wore it down. I'll try to plan ahead next time."

"That mouth will get you into trouble." Edward said from the doorway.

"I hope so." I shrugged, and winked at him. "You need to go back downstairs so I can change."

"I just missed you." Awwwww. If anyone else said it, I'd roll my eyes, but when he said it? It was perfection...Maybe Emmett was right about us, but I'd never tell him so.

"Go on before I change my mind." Edward pecked my cheek, and turned to leave. *swoon*

I changed quickly, and Alice applied the smallest amount of makeup and pulled my long hair back into a messy half updo with bohemian style braids. She made my hot mess look like a HOTT. MESS. The girl was good.

"It's amazing, Alice. Thank you so much. I'm so glad you like me enough to do this for me."

"I don't like you. I love you!" She smiled and hugged me around the neck almost tightly enough to strangle me.

"Can't...breathe..." She released me, and I hugged her back. "And I love you too."

"Sorry!" She said but was still grinning. It's a shame that Bella didn't let Alice do this more often. She was beaming.

I promised myself that as long as I was with the Cullens, I'd let Alice dress me whenever she wanted. She would always pick something in my style, or better than my style if I'm being honest, and she would be ecstatic to have a living mannequin. Everyone wins. Before I could say anything, I had barely opened my mouth when Alice cried, "yessssss!" She kissed me on the cheek about fifteen times, and ran out.

I slipped on my killer heels, and went to the door. "Edward..." I called, and he was there almost instantly.

"Ye—oh, you're beautiful."

"Thank you." I blushed. What did I do to deserve him? "Alice insisted that I wear these death traps on my feet...'part of the aesthetic' is how she put it, so I'm going to ask you now to please not let go of me when I walk unless you want a girlfriend with two broken ankles." Edward gently caressed my face where it felt the most flushed, tracing my cheek bones down to my jaw. Ok, maybe the blush was growing on me if I got this kind of attention every time...

"I would be more than happy to do that. I can do you one better though." He smirked and swooped me into his arms bridal style, having us to the car before I even took another breath. My heart was pounding again. Is it hot out here or is it just me? It's just you, Iris. It's fifteen degrees out here.

Alice walked out shaking her head, holding my sweater. "Thanks." I said with a blush again.

"Mmhmm." She hummed with a knowing grin, and disappeared back in the house.

"So. Where to?" Edward asked.

"Anywhere but Bella Italia. There has to be more out there..."

Edward raised his brows in question. "Do I want to know?"

"Just trying to make our own memories." I explained.

"I know just the place." There was his crooked grin again...damn he's so handsome...

We arrived in front of a tall, non-descript brick building in Port Angeles with vines growing up the side.

"Are you opposed to seafood?" He politely asked.

"No way! It's my favorite. I ate so much fish back home that I was known as the mermaid." I laughed. That was another one of Sandy's nicknames. I told her that mermaids wouldn't eat fish—it would be like cannibalism—but she kept it up. I missed her.

The restaurant was totally gorgeous, obviously expensive, but I felt it would be rude to say so. The maitre d' seated us in a corner, away from the rest of the diners without being asked. I raised a brow, and Edward said they were frequent patrons of the establishment. I don't know what a bunch of vampires needed with fish and wine, but whatever.

The server flirted shamelessly with Edward of course, not totally ignoring me, but definitely trying to assert her superiority over his chosen company. I just let her because honestly, if Edward wanted her, I didn't want him. No need for petty jealousness or insecurity. I often wished when reading Twilight that Bella would have just known how awesome she really was. Her worth was not dependent on Edward, but she always seemed to calculate it with him in mind.

"What did you used to look like?" Edward pondered.

"Umm, plain I guess. Blonde haired, blue eyed...darker skin than Bella, and I was nearly six feet tall."

"That sounds a lot like Rosalie."

"Yeah, just like her, except like the ugly duckling step sister version...I broke my nose when I played varsity volleyball as a teenager during the final match of the season. It was not attractive." I laughed, but Edward frowned.

"You were an athlete?" He took on an expression of incredulity.

"You have no idea how frustrating this body is..." I chuckled in response.

"I can only imagine. What about your family? Do you miss them terribly?"

"No." I answered simply, not wanting to lie, but I felt embarrassed to tell him about my dysfunctional parents when he had such a great family. Two great families really if you included his biological parents.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up a sore subject." I felt guilty withholding information. After years of therapy, I knew all too well that secrets, lying, and controlling information would only lead to my own demise. The irony of my situation when I first arrived here was not lost on me.

I took a deep breath. It's fine. It's Edward. You can trust him. "I didn't exactly have a great upbringing."

"Oh? Well, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I'm here if you would like to talk about it." A saint. The man was an absolute dream.

I stared at the table, flipping my butter knife over and over. "My parents were both Alcoholics, undiagnosed of course because God forbid they actually deal with their problems...and they argued...a lot...most of my memories of them together was just a bunch of yelling and throwing stuff. I think I learned how to use curse words before I was fluent in English." I laughed awkwardly before getting serious again.

"My dad used to hit me when he came home drunk..." I heard Edward gasp, but I didn't meet his eyes, opting to stare at the crisp folds in the freshly ironed tablecloth. "...never broke any bones, but hard enough for me to learn when to avoid him. Mom was always so wrapped up in her own self that she didn't see any of it. To the outside world, they were this power couple. My father was a top executive for Georgia Power, and mom stayed home with me for awhile, until she took over an open chair position on a local charitable organization. I think she mostly did it to get out of the house, and so she had more excuses to dress up and go to fancy galas and dinner parties. There was never enough time to spare on their daughter. It was either go, go, go or drink, argue, drink..." I looked away from the tablecloth and into Edward's eyes. He looked like he might want to cry for me, anger burning in his amber eyes.

"Iris..."

"No, it's fine. I got legally emancipated when I was 16. Mom told me she never wanted to see me again, and Dad told me I was an ungrateful brat. I didn't have anything. I got a job as a nurse's aid at the hospital because I had to prove to the court that I could afford to live on my own. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I had never felt so good about my life. I was finally free. Finally, I could go home without having to dodge lamps being thrown. I didn't have to lie about where the bruise on my cheek came from...I lived off of Ramen noodles for a good four years. I haven't eaten them since I graduated nursing school. I refuse." I made a face of disgust, and Edward laughed before sobering.

He reached across the table for my hand, his eyes smoldering. "You're more amazing than I thought. I'm glad you were able to save yourself...but you never have to be alone again. My family will care for you. Charlie cares for you like his own daughter...which to him, you always have been. After you trusted your secret with us, I wondered about how Charlie hadn't noticed. When I read his thoughts, it seemed that he did recognize a difference in you, but he was proud. He saw you as more confident, more sure of yourself. He loves you."

"Thank you for saying that. He's grown on me too. He's a wonderful father. I wish my Dad had been more like him."

Our food—my blackened shrimp, and his whatever the heck he ordered that looked disgusting...maybe octopus? It was swimming in black ink—arrived then.

"Mmm I haven't had shrimp in so long. Charlie keeps bringing fish home, which is great, but there's only so many ways to cook trout." Edward smiled at the look of pleasure on my face as I popped a whole piece of shrimp in my mouth.

"So what's your favorite color?" I asked him.

"I thought you knew everything about me?" He smirked playfully.

"Well, you told Bella brown, but I'm pretty sure you just said that trying to be smooth when you were gushing over her eyes..."

"Mmm...brown is warm."

"Ok, this is really weird dating a fictional character." I laughed, and coughed trying to clear my throat. Edward pushed my water across to me.

"Well if you don't like that answer then would you be happier that I am partial to that shade of blue you're wearing. It compliments your skin perfectly." I sighed. Well, I guess I'll just have to get used to being in Bella's body. It hadn't bothered me so much before, but now I saw where this could be a problem. He loves you for you. He loves you for you. He loves YOU, Iris.

"Thank you." I coughed again. There was the strangest tickle in my throat. I just couldn't clear it.

"Iris. Your mouth. It's swelling. Are you allergic to shellfish?!" There was panic to his tone.

"Shit! No, but Bella..." I couldn't finish my sentence as it was suddenly more difficult to breathe. I was crying, gasping for air as my throat continued to close on itself. This was fucking insane. Of all the ways I could die in this world, and this might be the way I go. How was I supposed to know that she had an allergy?! She never ate anything but eggs, pop-tarts, and that damned mushroom ravioli in the series.

Edward already had Carlisle on the phone. "He called in an Epipen prescription at the pharmacy down the street. Come on." Edward swooped me up in his arms and was out the door in seconds, moving just faster than a human should be able to.

"Sir, you haven't pa—" The same maitre d' called to him.

"On the table." Edward growled, shutting him up.

I was gasping desperately at this point. Things were getting blurry around me..."Iris? Iris stay with me. We're nearly th—"

•PTaT•

"Iris? Oh my God that's a lot of blood..." Sandy's voice was shaking, but she was moving quickly. She removed my shirt, pressing pressure to the fresh wound in my abdomen. Three times. I had been shot three times. How often had I wondered what my gunshot victims felt like? Not that I wanted to particularly experience it, but it was one of those thoughts that passes through your mind out of pure curiosity. Now I knew. It was horrible.

"HEEELLLPPP!" Sandy called from the break room. I had only just clocked in. How the hell did this happen? I just wanted to clock in. I hadn't even sipped my coffee. It was spilled all over the floor now mixed with something red...my blood. No, that couldn't be right...my blood? How? There was so much of it...the human body only had 4 or 5 liters of blood...how was there so much around me? Was Sandy shot too? How was there so much blood? How was there so m—

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	23. Dawgnappers

Ch. 23 Dawgnappers

"So let me get this straight. You knew that you had a shellfish allergy, but you ordered shrimp for dinner?" The older nurse looked at me in condescension over the rim of her glasses which had fallen down the bridge of her nose.

"I took them out of the shell first." I said as I tried not to lose it. There were tears building in my eyes, and my cheeks hurt from literally biting back the laughter that was on the brink of bursting through. Edward wasn't doing as well. He was coughing to cover up how hard he was really laughing. The nurse turned to glare at him, and left the room.

"For the record, I'm not happy about this."

"Not happy about what?" Edward was still laughing as I scrunched up my face.

"Being back in the ER. We were having such a good time. Things were finally getting better, and now I find out that I can never have shrimp again? What other secrets was Bella hiding?!"

"Iris, I'm so sorry. I never reviewed your allergies with you the last time you were here." Carlisle said as he entered the room looking over my discharge papers, he was genuinely distraught when I arrived a few hours earlier. It wasn't his fault though. Only I would have the luck of having an unknown shellfish allergy.

"Well, the last time I was here, you didn't know that I wasn't Isabella Swan, so how would you know that you needed to tell me. Plus, it's my fault for never asking. I guess there's more to this story than I considered. Any other conditions I should know about? Did she donate her kidney? Or maybe she ate her twin in the womb?"

Edward chuckled to himself. "I never know what you're going to say. It used to frustrate me all the time—it still does sometimes—but for the most part, it's incredibly refreshing."

"I'm glad to entertain you." I rolled my eyes in jest with a sigh.

Edward moved close to me. "You do more than entertain me." My heart thrummed like a hummingbird's wings.

"Edward. Your father is present." I breathed.

"Right. Excuse me Carlisle. Iris and I need to be getting on with our date."

"No, nothing significant that I can see here, Iris. Carry on." He laughed as he walked out.

"I think I ruined the date already." I said in a sad voice. Stupid Bella and her stupid shrimp allergy. How many possible ways were there for a human to potentially die anyway? I think I had illustrated most of them pretty nicely so far. With that thought I sighed.

"No, not the best part." A wicked grin spread across his face, and he looked at me through his thick dark lashes.

"Which is?" What is he thinking? His eyes are darker...I thought he wanted to stay a virgin...oh Edward...Wait, I don't want any hybrid babies right now!

"The stolen kiss goodnight, of course." He said in a rough whisper. Oh right. Get your head out of the gutter, Iris. Well, that will do...for now.

"You don't have to steal it. It's yours." I whispered back, and he smiled as he moved even closer yet to "steal" a kiss.

The next day, Thursday, was a school day, but I didn't have school thanks to my own stupidity. Never stoop to their level, Iris. Just because you look like a teenager, doesn't mean you have to act like one...

The Cullens had to attend school to keep up pretenses because they already missed yesterday. This weekend would be sunny, so they were skipping Friday too.

A whole day to myself...this spare time was never a good thing. I should just stay in the house, and not do anything stupid. You're a danger magnet, remember? Stay here and read or clean or something...The beep of receiving a text message pulled me out of my thoughts. It was Edward. That boy was obsessed with me, but I'm not complaining.

_Are you ok? Alice said you looked bored._

_Tell her to stop looking. It's creepy, and yes, having loads of fun without you. A party, really._

_Don't have too much fun. We all know what happens when you get creative._

_I'll try to contain myself. _

_Please do. Love you _

_Come get me please..._

_Really?_

_No, I'll be fine...I guess...Love you _

I smiled to myself. Now what? That conversation took all of two minutes. I could TV surf...I had never been one to watch a lot of TV though. I had only recently been watching games with Charlie. Hmm...a walk? Could I go outside without tripping on something? Surely that could be fine...sure, a walk. My phone beeped again.

_Don't do it. I saw you fall down into the creek. You'll break your wrist, but more importantly you'll stain that cute top you're wearing! Stay home!_

_How is ruining my shirt worse than a broken wrist??_

_Carlisle will fix your wrist, but the shirt was one of a kind! I found it at this sweet little boutique. _

Alice...I laughed and closed my phone. Ok, so no walk. TV it is then...

I had just gotten comfortable when my phone beeped from Alice again AND the doorbell rang. What the...?

_Iris? What happened?_

_What do you mean? _

I opened the door just in time to see a tall muscular man with a dark olive complexion and cropped black hair, only wearing shorts, reach in to grab me, causing me to drop my phone when he pulled me under his arm. A wolf. What the fucking hell?

"Who the he—" He covered my mouth before I could finish.

"Sorry, Bella. We have to protect you from them." His voice was deep, and he spoke in a short, clipped tone. He was here on official business it would seem. I tried to bite him, but nothing. No response. I would hurt myself before I could hurt any of the wolves.

He jumped in the back of a white van with no license plates. Very original...

There were no seats, and therefore no seatbelts, so I slid around as the van careened around every corner it took. The unidentified wolf had let go of me once the doors slammed closed, but he sat with his back against the doors, so there was no way I could pass.

I growled to myself...apparently picking up the habit from the Cullens. "Which one are you?" I asked in a bored tone. This was the second time I had been captured by the "good" guys and it was getting really old.

He narrowed his eyes for a moment as if trying to size me up. This was Jared. Paul would have had some stupid, but snide comment he pulled out of his ass. "Jared then."

"How do you know who I am?" He snarled.

"You were sent on Alpha orders, right? Who's driving? Sam?" I said ignoring his question.

"How do you know so much?" He questioned again, seeming to shake more the longer I spoke to him. Back off, Iris. There's no way out and you're with a baby werewolf.

"I'll tell you if you take me back." I hoped I wasn't pushing him to the limit yet.

The van came to a screeching halt. I had to grab the wall to keep from flying into Jared. I jumped up, and tried to move to look past Jared's head to see what had happened. Then the double back doors flung open, and I smiled.

"Hello, Emmett." I smirked. Jared, who had jumped out of the van when he realized he was confronted with the hulking vampire, now stood wide-eyed.

"Hi, Iris." He waved like a little kid, and then turned to face Jared, stone-faced again. I bit back a smile at the sudden change in his demeanor.

I looked behind Emmett to see Jasper and Sam having their own intense stare down involving lots of growling.

"Where's Edward? Is he pissed? We're not passed the border are we? This was so not worth breaking the treaty over..."

"Cool it. We're not even close..." Emmett answered me. Now I could see that we were just one street over from the school. Well the wolves were certainly not as smart as I thought they would be if they drove right past the school where my mind-reading vampire was...

"Iris." Edward seemingly arrived out of nowhere and breathed a sigh of relief, helping me out past the now-shaking Jared with a growl. "I'll end you, wolf."

He spoke in a menacing tone as he gently pushed me behind him.

"Don't. They thought they were saving me from you guys. They're just misinformed. They didn't hurt me." I said quickly before this turned into a war. There was enough plot-line drama that could still catch up to us to start anything else.

"Iris. They took you against your will." Edward hissed.

"Just for a little joyride. I'm fine."

"Who the hell is Iris? Is that like your code name when you're with the bloodsuckers?" Jared asked past Emmett. Look who got his voice back!

"Ugh. I guess it's story time..."

"What?" Sam asked from twenty feet away. I forgot about them having superhearing too. Man it sucked being the only human around.

"Need your blankies and some hot cocoa, guys?" Emmett said in a baby voice. Gah, sometimes he is so stupid. I love it.

I rolled my eyes with a smile. "Lets go back to Charlie's and talk."

"Like hell will I go anywhere with these leeches." Sam yelled from where Jasper still stood blocking him. Neither Sam nor Jared could phase since there were so many houses around them out here in the open.

"Ok, well if you want answers, tell me where you do want to go, that they—" I gestured to the three vampires around me, "—can also go. If not, then I'll just go back home. Though, I must tell you that you probably want to know who is going to phase next."

Both wolves gasped. Sam pushed past Jasper with a growl, and walked to where Emmett and Edward were blocking me. He stopped about five feet away.

"How would you know that? I figured these leeches told you about us, but how could you know who's next? The psychic said she couldn't see us. That's why we surprised you at home because Charlie mentioned you'd be there all week when I saw him last night." Nice, Dad. I sighed to myself.

"Alice can't see you, but I have my own little quirk about me. It's not...secure...here to talk about this though." I said glancing around. There was a little old lady walking her dog down the sidewalk a couple of houses down who was becoming increasingly interested in what five large boys and one small girl were doing this time of day standing around a creepy kidnapper-looking van.

"I'm fine, ma'am! We're just filming a documentary on kidnappers! Wanna join?" I called to her. She just turned around and practically power-walked away. What? I have to get my kicks somehow.

"Iris, was that necessary?" Edward was pinching his nose again. So cute.

"Yes." I said innocently.

He rolled his eyes with a chuckle, but then growled. "So do you want to talk or not, Dogs." I couldn't help but laugh because it sounded like Edward—my turn of the century originating boyfriend—just called them dawgs. Like "wut-up dawg? Wanna go smoke dope and play on the PS?" I was almost in tears.

"What is going on with you today? Did these, dogs, injure your head again?" Edward sounded concerned as he seriously felt around on my head.

"No...I'm sorry." I tried to calm down, and now Emmett was laughing too. "You just...keep calling them...dogs."

"Yo, dawg. Wanna hang?" Emmett coughed out and was rolling on the ground then too. Jasper even cracked a smile, and Edward just threw his hand up like he was conceding to the crazies around him.

"Meet us or don't at the southern border of Forks and La Push at four. I have to go take care of these children it would seem." Edward said curtly and dragged me away, still in a fit of laughter toward the Volvo.

"Jasper...cut it...out!" I yelled.

•PTaT•

(BPOV)

"Hi, Dad." I tried to force as much enthusiasm into my voice as I could muster.

"Bells, it's good to see you, honey. Was the flight ok?" Charlie pulled me into an awkward side hug.

"Yeah, I guess." I shrugged.

"Don't look so happy to be here. You might strain your face you're smiling so much." Charlie said with raised brows.

"Sorry, Dad. I am happy to see you. Thanks for letting me come. It was just more difficult to leave Mom than I thought it would be." The Closer I got to Forks, I just couldn't get rid of the nagging feeling that I wouldn't see her again anytime soon.

"Well let's go get your bags. I got your room set up already."

"What do you mean? It already had a bed and everything. Right?"

"I got an old desk and computer from Billy for your schoolwork, and some new curtains and bedding that Sue Clearwater helped me pick out, remember her?"

"I guess..." I really needed to be happier about this. It wasn't Charlie's fault that I made the decision to come here, and I really appreciated him welcoming me home.

"Hey, your old man has another surprise for you too."

"What's that?" I asked, my voice thick with suspicion.

"You'll see when we get there." He smiled. What kind of surprise could Forks bring? That was the most boring place on Earth.

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	24. Headache

Ch. 24 Headache

"So you're really...not...Bella Swan?" Very good, Jared. Now let's talk about how the grass is green too. He was speaking at an exaggeratedly slow pace as he processed. This is going to be a loooonnnggg conversation.

"No, for the seventh time. I'm Iris McGee." I sighed. We had literally been through this seven times. I explained the highlights of the story to them, aside from Bella being changed and birthing a hybrid baby. That seemed a little...intimate...but the wolves now knew everything else practically. I explained about James and Victoria, warned them about Laurent, and even mentioned the Newborn army though I didn't understand how that could happen now or why...I mean, I get it, it's shocking to find out you're a pretend person in another world, but come on. This isn't rocket science...just interplanetary time travel. No biggie. "If it makes you feel any better, I'm a fictional person here. I tried to search for myself, I don't exist." I shrugged as I plucked a blade of grass from next to where I sat on the ground. Alice, Jasper, Edward, Sam, and Jared had been here with me for over two hours. Can you say BORED?

"Are you alright, love?" Edward brushed a stray hair away from my face and tucked it behind my ear.

"Yes, thank you." I smiled up at where he crouched over me. He was so perfect. I could just—

Jared interrupted our exchange. "So tell me one more time. How did you get here then? This doesn't make sense."

Arrrgh! "I don't know how I got here. I went to work...something...happened..." Edward quirked his brow and exchanged a look with both Alice and Jasper, not missing my omission. I hadn't exactly mentioned any of the memories I'd been having to anyone. Let's just say, what I was recalling wasn't...pretty. "...and I woke up in Bella's room. Enough about me though. Aren't you even the least bit curious about who's suppose to phase next?"

"What do you know?" Sam's voice was short, to the point. All business and no play certainly made Sam a dull wolf.

"Paul is next. Then Embry and Jacob...but it's not supposed to happen for awhile, another year maybe...it might not happen at all without so many predatory vampires close by, but then again if the Cullens don't leave like they did in cannon, I'm not sure what having seven vampires permanently living by La Push for an extended amount of time would do. In the series, Carlisle thought it was the proximity to so many vampires that may have triggered the gene." Then I thought about what else would happen a year from now if the timeline stayed anywhere close to what it was supposed to. "By the way...tell Harry Clearwater to go for his annual check-up..." I trailed off.

"What? What happens to Harry?!" Jared asked.

"I'm not sure I should say..." I glanced at Alice who shook her head. I guess she couldn't see with the wolves so close on the reservation. "Just tell him to go see a doctor please, and lay off the saturated fat and salt." Suddenly pain shot through my mind.

•PTaT•

"Cut it out with the salt already! Now off to the cath lab for you." I chastised the sweet old man with a smile, but he knew I was serious. This was his third heart attack. He wouldn't survive another one.

"Code Blue!" A female voice called from one bay over, and I ran away from George without a word.

"Eighteen-twenty-eight..." Dr. Powell called the woman's time of death.

"Please...please...please..." The crying man with the chain link ring was begging me. I needed to save her. There was so much pain in his eyes...She was his everything, and I didn't save her.

The water. I needed to get him a towel...

"Don't bother. It's all shit." The man grumbled and walked away.

"So sad..." I heard Sandy say.

•PTaT•

"Iris?" I heard Edward calling me, but it sounded far away. "Iris?!" My body was moving, shaking. No, someone was shaking me. "Iris!"

"Huh?" A sigh of relief escaped Edward, before the worry replaced the expression again as he held my shoulders and looked at me.

"Where did you go?" He looked back and forth between my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I wasn't feeling too good, suddenly exhausted.

"One minute you were talking about Harry Clearwater and the next, it was like you had checked out. Your face was totally void of emotion." He was still trying to read me, and when I didn't immediately respond, he continued. "I think we should go see Carlisle." Edward's voice was thick with stress and concern.

"Not before she finishes telling us what she knows." Sam grabbed Edward's arm to which he looked down at Sam's hand with murder in his eyes.

"Let go of me, pup, or I'll make you let go. I suppose you like having all your digits present and accounted for?"

"Try me, leech." Sam spoke gruffly, and Jared snickered behind him. Oh not this bullshit again. A feeling of sluggishness and calm flowed throughout me, and I saw the others relax slightly. Good going, Jasper...

"Sam, let go of Edward. You have my number, text me your questions, and I'll get back to you. I'm not feeling very..." I squeezed my eyes closed tightly as the beginning of a migraine began to show itself. He frowned but released Edward's arm.

"Love? What is it?" Edward sounded alarmed again.

"Just a headache. I think I need a nap..."

"See ya later boys!" Alice was more than happy to steer me away. She clearly hated being without her visions.

Once we were in the Volvo, Edward drove to my house, and he called Carlisle at the hospital to ask him to meet us there. When we pulled into the drive, Charlie's cruiser wasn't there yet, but he would be home soon.

"Carlisle." Edward greeted his father as he opened the door for me and carried me to the sofa. Carlisle looked to Edward meaningfully, clearly having one of their silent conversations. My guess was confirmed when Edward shook and then nodded his head in affirmation to him. Then Carlisle turned his focus to me.

"Iris, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Could you tell me about what happened before the headache came on? Edward seems to think you may have suffered from some form of stroke which wouldn't be altogether impossible since you have injured your head on multiple occasions recently. Though he does tend to think in extremes where you're concerned." He smiled, obviously trying to make a joke, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Edward had disappeared and returned with some ibuprofen. I didn't think that was going to cut it, but it was better than nothing. "No, it wasn't that. I didn't want to say anything before because of the wolves...I should've told you guys before now, but I didn't know what to think...I've been having flashbacks, memories, from before I came here. At first they seemed really random, but now..." I couldn't finish my sentence. Shit. I might have died. Not might have. I had to have died. I had accepted that this was my new life, and I even welcomed it. It was just a lot to think about when I realized the true finality of it. A tear escaped, trailing down my cheek.

Edward quickly came around the couch to sit beside me. He took my hands in his. "What is it?" His eyes were like deep oceans of molten golden lava.

"Iris, what do you remember?" Carlisle spoke slowly.

"What's the last thing you can recall?" Jasper probed. Alice leaned slightly forward toward me.

Shit. I forgot who I'm speaking to...These vamps are like human lie detectors. Was I ready to tell them everything? I wasn't sure...ok, no lying, but also, no telling the full truth. "I know one hundred percent that I was at work before I woke up here." There. That was accurate enough...but didn't I make a pact with myself to be honest? No more lies—even by omission—no secrets...? Fuck it. "And then..." Edward tensed.

I smiled slightly at him, trying to lessen the blow, and he held his hand to my cheek, where I rested my head, closing my eyes. "I'm dead." I waited for a reaction, and I wasn't disappointed.

"What? You're not. I hear your heartbeat now. Carlisle tell her." Edward's voice shot up two octaves and he spoke faster than normal.

"Iris, what do you mean that you're dead?" There was something about Carlisle's voice that led me to believe that he wasn't so concerned about my physical well-being as much as my mental health right now.

"I was shot three times to the abdomen by a man at the hospital where I worked." I heard Alice gasp. Edward froze and was squeezing my hands so tightly that I thought he might have forgotten he was holding them. There would probably be a bruise there later...but I continued. If I didn't say this now, it would only be that much harder later. "I went to the break room to clock in, and he was there already. He shouldn't have been there. He wasn't an employee...someone let him in with their badge or maybe he followed them through the door before it closed. I don't know..." I stared at the front door, memorizing the pattern of the wood grain. The room was dead silent as they waited for me to continue, but some of the details were still blurry.

"Charlie's coming." Edward finally spoke up. His voice cracked, an imperfect sound that I never would have thought possible to come from him.

I heard the cruiser pull into the driveway, and Alice looked to Edward without speaking, at least not out loud, and he nodded, disappearing upstairs. "What—"

"Edward will be in your room. I didn't think Charlie knew about you two yet, so I figured it would probably be best if just Carlisle and I were here. We'll take the Volvo now and Edward can run home later." She explained.

"Oh ok..."

The front door swung open, and I looked up to see Charlie pulling his coat off. "Hi Bells—what's wrong?" He seemed to just notice Carlisle standing beside the couch. "Dr. Cullen?"

"Chief Swan. Alice was here after school visiting when she noticed that Bella wasn't feeling too well. I was just coming by to pick Alice up, and she asked me to come in and look at her. I think she just needs some rest."

"Oh ok. Bells?" Charlie looked confused but relieved at Carlisle's explanation at least.

"I'm fine. It's just a migraine. Would it be ok if I skipped dinner tonight?" I almost forgot that we had made plans to watch the game. It was March Madness time, which apparently was a big deal. I could have made tons of money when making our brackets if I had paid any attention to sports growing up. I guess I could still ask Alice...

"Uh sure, honey. Just go on upstairs and lie down."

"Thanks dad. Thanks Dr. Cullen...see you later Alice." She winked at me, but turned to Charlie.

"Chief, would it be ok if Bella stayed with me this weekend? The guys are going hiking, and I'm just all hiked out. I thought it might be nice to have a girls weekend." Her face was the epitome of innocence, the little pixie.

"Yeah. That'll be good. I worry about her sitting here alone all the time." Yes, I'm a social pariah. We've established that...I loved how no one seemed to care that I was standing here when they talked about me.

"Yay! I'll see you tomorrow night then, Bella. Pick you up at five-thirty, sundown." She winked again. Yes, sun down would probably be best.

"Oh, you don't want to go to the beach and work on a tan for prom?" I asked innocently, and she glared at me.

"I don't like to expose my delicate skin to the harsh rays of the sun."

"Oh, ok then." I said in jest, but it didn't come out right as I held back a yelp as another pain shot through me.

Charlie looked at me with his fatherly concern, but I shook my head, waving goodbye to Alice and made my way upstairs.

I got to the very top step, mere feet away from my bedroom door when the pain became unbearable. I bit back a scream, but couldn't control the gasp that escaped. Edward heard of course and retrieved me, taking me to my bed before Charlie noticed him. He only left me for a moment to close the door softly before coming right back to my side.

"Iris? What happened?" But I couldn't answer as my mind was pulled back to the past.

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	25. John

Ch. 25 John

"I just took a DNA test, turns out I'm a hundred percent that Bitch..." I belted out the lyrics. Damn, Lizzo is cool. I was driving down I-85 trying to make it to work on time. The line at Starbucks had been slow, so I was running a little behind. Then it started snowing. What the hell? Is this like some kind of post-Christmas miracle?

It doesn't snow in Atlanta, Georgia. It just doesn't. It only drops below forty a couple of times per year, so snow? Unheard of. When it does snow, bad things usually happen. It's like an unwritten rule...hope it lets up before we have a repeat of the great gridlock disaster that happened during Snowpocalypse 2014. That shit was insane...

By the time I got to the parking deck, I was jogging to the unit.

"Hey, Iris! Slow down. You're almost late. Wouldn't want to ruin your perfect record." Sean called to me as he passed. Asshole. He played it off like he was just making a friendly joke, but he would be the first one to trip me if he got the chance. He sucked at his job, and he treated the patients like trash. He told me once that he was mostly in it for the money...well that's a lot of shit—literally and figuratively—to deal with for minimal payoff. Idiot.

"Mmhmm." I raised my hand in sardonic acknowledgment. It was going to be a long night with him working...

Oh shit. Did I drop my chapstick? I scanned my badge to enter the break room as I dug around in my oversized purse. I was usually a clean person, but my work bag was like a trash bag. Guess it was time to incinerate it...oh well, a problem for tomorrow...

"Hey, Sandy." I said in passing as I reached for my badge to clock in. That's when I saw him. Him. He was standing silently beside Sandy with one hand behind her back. Only then did I notice that she had tears in her eyes. She shifted infinitesimally to one side, and I saw the handle of a gun in the man's left hand.

He was a rough looking guy, older with dark hair with some spots of gray, a short, unkempt beard, shaggy hair, and a navy baseball hat pulled low over his eyes. He wore a black and gray plaid oversized flannel, and dirty, wrinkled jeans. I didn't notice his shoes because I didn't dare look away from his face or hand on the gun once I saw it.

"Sir..." Then I saw them, the crinkles by his eyes, the wrinkle in his nose. It was him. The crying man. If he moved his gun from Sandy's back. I knew what I would see there...a ring with a strange design, like chain links. Oh God. He's angry, distraught still. It's been months, but here he is...

"Please, you don't want to do this. You're a good man." I spoke in an exaggerated calm voice.

"Iris..." Sandy shot a warning glance to me, but I saw no other way out of this. He had us cornered. Sitting ducks.

"It's fine. He's going to put the gun down, and take a walk. Cool down a bit and think this through, aren't you?" I stared back into the dark eyes, eyes of death. He was dead inside, nothing to lose. She was everything, and I didn't save her. We didn't save her. This was bad. Worse than bad.

"Please, she didn't do anything!" Sandy cried.

"Oh, she did something alright. I remember her. She was here that night. She spilled water on my shirt, the one I was wearing when SHE died." An emotion flashed in his eyes for a second...hatred.

"John..." Sandy began, addressing the man intimately. John? JOHN?! What the fuck?!

His angry gaze shot from me, and refocused on her face. "Why'd you go and say my name? Now I have to kill you both." Oh Fuck!

"No!" Sandy screamed, but I couldn't even respond before she quickly turned to face John. Her John. The one who was complicated...married. She attempted to grab the gun from him, but before she could, he aimed it right at me and then there were three shots fired.

It's foggy after that. I don't think I passed out, but maybe the shock of it all...

The next thing I knew, the man was yelling, panicked. "She was my everything! She was my everything and now she's gone! What am I supposed to do? What should I do?" The pain in his voice was heart wrenching. It felt like someone was squeezing my trachea closed and punching my gut over and over as I stared hopelessly up at him. "What should I do? What to do? Oh God. I can't believe this. What do I do? She is everything..."

"No, oh God, Iris!" Sandy was blubbering.

"You did this. It's your fault! You should've saved her, but you were jealous! You did this. It's your fault..." the man was yelling. Then a look of fear and confusion crossed his face, and he ran away, out of the room.

"Iris? Oh my God that's a lot of blood..." Sandy's voice was shaking, but she was moving quickly. She removed my shirt, holding pressure to the fresh wound in my abdomen.

My mind was reeling. Three times. I had been shot three times. How often had I wondered what my gunshot victims felt like? Not that I wanted to particularly experience it, but it was one of those thoughts that passes through your mind out of pure curiosity. Now I knew. It was horrible.

"HEEELLLPPP!" Sandy called from the break room. In had only just clocked in. How the hell did this happen? I just wanted to clock in. I hadn't even sipped my coffee. It was all over the floor, mixed with something red...my blood. No, that couldn't be my blood. There was so much of it...the human body only had 4 or 5 liters of blood...how was there so much around me? Was Sandy shot too? How was there so much blood? How was there so m—

"Iris?! Wake up! Wake up, Iris! Oh God, Iris?" That name sounded familiar. "HEEEELLLPPP! CODE BLUE! CODE BLUE!" Someone was jumping on my chest. Why the hell would someone jump on my chest? Can't they tell I'm probably hurting? Gah, freaking stop it! You're killing me!

"Uhhhhh..." was all that escaped my mouth and the jumping stopped.

"Hang on, girl. Help is coming. You're going to be fine..." That voice. I know that voice.

Before I could figure it out, all was black again.

"Iris?! Iris, can you hear me?" Ugh...someone was holding my eyelids open and shining a light in it. What the hell are you checking my pupillary reaction for? It was a gunshot not a head injury. "Get her on the table! NOW!" I'd heard that tone from Dr. Powell often. It meant everything was going to shit.

"She's losing blood. I need 2 units of P-R-B-C's STAT. Do we have access yet?"

"Working on it. Iris, honey, stop moving your arm. I have to get the IV in. You've lost a lot of blood."

"S...susan?" My vision was growing dark. Like looking down a long tunnel with the lights out on a sunny day.

"Yeah it's me, honey." I really liked her. She was a badass nurse who got shit done. She could come off a little harsh, but we all knew she was only crass because she was so passionate about doing her job. I'm glad she was here.

"I...I'm..c..c..cold." I stuttered as I watched her short brown spiked hair bob up and down at my arm as she inserted the peripheral line. I didn't even feel the needle break my skin or the catheter inserted. This was bad.

"I know, honey. We're working on it. Stay with me. She's got access! Sean, give me the blood infusion set...What do you mean it isn't primed? What the hell have you been doing this whole time?! Give it to me." She sounded frantic. Susan always sounded so calm and collected. This was a really bad sign. I was going to die...

The light was bright, and everywhere, all-consuming. It was warm. I could finally feel something. Is this what dying felt like? Was this the part that everyone describes after surviving a near-death experience. This didn't feel like near-death...this felt like the real deal...final.

Even as I realized this was the end, a sense of peace overwhelmed me.

"Iris, welcome." A female voice echoed from far away, yet I could hear it clearly as if she were standing beside me. What a strange sensation to experience.

"Where am I? What happened?" I asked in awe.

"She shouldn't be here." A man's voice cut through this time. He seemed calm, but confused, a question in his tone. I shouldn't be here? Then where should I be? Then everything was dark again.

"Iris?! She's crashing! Get that saline wide open! Get the crash cart ready!" These voices were harsher, not as peaceful as the others. I wanted to tell them to send me back. And that annoying beeping! God, make it stop!

"Oh my God...He didn't want her. It was me. It was me. Iris, I'm so sorry. He wasn't after her. This is all my fault." A female wailed from somewhere across the room. Sandy? What was she talking about? How could this be her fault? Oh John. The gunman was her John. Shit.

"Get her out of here!" A male voice called, Dr. Powell, I realized.

"B-P eighty-two over forty-seven, heart rate one forty-two." Oh shit. That was bad. It was bad, and yet, somehow I couldn't seem to care enough. I could feel my time here ending.

"No, she saved me! Please! Iris!"

"I said get her out!"

Saved her? Yes...I needed to save her. She was everything to him, and I didn't save her. I should have saved her...saved her. Save her. I have to save her. SAVE. HER.

•PTaT•

"It was John. I didn't save her. I died, and I didn't save her." I awoke crying into something cold and hard...Edward's chest.

"Iris, what are you talking about?"

"The man who...shot me. His wife died at the hospital. I couldn't save her. His name was John, and my friend, Sandy...she was having an affair with him. He was angry because he thought she didn't try hard enough to save his wife on purpose because of their relationship...and the water...I spilled water on his shirt...oh God..." I wailed as the tears were flowing freely now.

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	26. Unsettled

Ch. 26 Unsettled

It is a strange thing to know that you have died. It is a stranger thing to know that you lived after death. I wonder if this is how the Cullens felt. I had this peculiar feeling, though. I couldn't remember dying. As hard as I tried to force the memory, it wasn't there. I was in the trauma room up on the table, and then I wasn't. Something was off. It was very unsettling, but maybe no one could truly remember their death...

"Love, what would you like?" Edward was leaning forward so that his eyes were level with mine. He was beautiful, but he looked sad. He had looked this way at me, a combination of pity and doubt, since I woke up early this Friday morning. When he saw how upset I was, he opted to stay with me all morning rather than leave early to go hunting with His family. Alice was staying behind for our girl's weekend—Rosalie was totally fine with skipping that. Surprise, surprise. He would be leaving to go meet his family after lunch before the sun came out. I told him to leave, but he's a stubborn ass—my stubborn ass—but still. So here we were.

"I'm sorry?"

"To eat. What would you like?" I looked around. We were standing in the kitchen. Edward had his hand extended toward a cold slice of pizza in the fridge. Ugh. I might vomit. I shook my head in answer to his gesture. "Iris, you didn't eat breakfast. You must be hungry. I can hear your stomach growling now..."

"That's weird that you can hear that, and I'm just not feeling up to eating right now. There are granola bars and bananas here. I'll snack on those later."

"Ok fine, but for the record, I disagree with your choice to not nourish yourself." We had been working on his control-freak tendencies. He was allowed to verbalize what his advice to me was, of course, but he was not supposed to try to force anything on to me. I was pretty proud of how far he had come, though his jaw would be so tight when I went against his wishes that I thought he might grind his beautiful teeth into oblivion.

I hadn't slept very well last night, waking every few hours after my strange dream. After that I had asked Edward to stay. It was our first "sleepover." So as we sat on the sofa together, I laid against Edward, feeling drowsy.

"Sorry about last night. I know it probably wasn't how you wanted our first time to be." I yawned.

"First time?" Was that confusion in his voice?

"You know, the first time you stayed over." I explained as I sunk further into his steel frame. It wasn't uncomfortable. This body seemed to fit perfectly into his. Thank you Isabella Swan.

"Right." He frowned, but his face looked strange.

"What's with the face?" I pulled back a bit to see him more clearly.

"I thought you liked my face?" He smiled angelically.

"It's ridiculous how handsome you are, but that's not what I meant. You looked strange when I said that was our first time." I narrowed my eyes at him. What's with you, Cullen? Why would that...Wait a minute..."That WAS your first time staying over in my room the whole night, right?"

"Well..." Oh my gosh. My face flew into my hands.

"You didn't!" I should have known.

"You talk in your sleep." What the hell kind of answer is that? Damnit Bella and your sleep talking.

"Ugh. This is just like the books. How long?"

"How long what?" He was still playing dumb.

"Don't play innocent with me, Stalkward. When did you first slip into my room?"

"Stalkward?" He laughed, but I glared at him, effectively making him quiet. "The night after the accident with Tyler's van..."

"Of course you did. It would have been too much to expect you to stay out of my room without my consent. What did I say?"

"Love, I'm sorry. You were just so—"

"What did I say?"

"You kept telling Alice that you didn't want to go shopping. It was adorable, but I couldn't understand how you knew she wanted to take you shopping already. You didn't even know her. Now I know." He shrugged. That was too easy.

"That's not all. What else?"

"My name may have escaped your lips a few times..."

"Oh my God, how many times is a few?"

"Seven." He smirked, proud of himself.

"Stalkward..." I growled. He opened his mouth, but I stopped him. "Don't you dare say 'don't be embarrassed because if I could dream at all it would be of you.' I might smack you."

"It's very odd when you do things like that. Are you sure that you don't have a psychic ability?" He was trying to distract me. No dice, you gorgeous stalker.

"No, because if I did, I might have known to address this topic long ago."

"Would you like to watch a movie?"

"Stop trying to change the topic." I spoke firmly to him.

"Is this going to be our first fight? I would have preferred for this 'first' to not go this way, or any way really."

"Our first fight was the day I told you off in Spanish."

"If that was 'telling me off' as you call it, then I will be just fine with you. You look like a tiny—"

"Oh God don't say kitten!" I whined.

"You have a real talent, Love." He laughed. Smug jerk.

"If I didn't love you, I would hate you." I deadpanned.

"I'm so glad for the case to be the former then because I couldn't stand to be the recipient of your hate." His eyes were no longer amused. They were deep, warm, full of genuine love. Oh Edward...

He pulled me closer into his side, positioning me so that he could more easily lean over to brush his lips against my jaw, and along my neck. He moved painfully slow only pausing just before he touched his lips to mine.

"Edward..." I whined. I hated the sound of my voice, but I hated the way he teased me more.

He pulled back a bit, a frown forming along his brow.

I pulled back too. "What is it?" I asked as I placed my hand on his cheek.

"Have you ever..." he hesitated.

"Have I what?" What are you asking? Just spit it out.

"Been with someone?" He finished quietly.

Oh. That. "Not in this body..."

"Right. I understand." He was clamming up, being awkward. Poor inexperienced Edward...

"It was only one person. I was with him for about three years in college. There's been no one else since." I know I didn't have to tell him, but I didn't want any more secrets.

"Did you love him?" He suddenly looked more like a seventeen year old boy, so vulnerable.

"Yes, at the time, but I wasn't lying when I said that I didn't know love before you. The love that I thought I felt for him seems like a schoolyard crush compared to this. If I had known that you were here, and that things would possibly end up this way, I would have waited for you."

"Well, it's not like that's possible for us anyhow." He was hurt, and trying to make it seem like he wasn't.

"Why is it not? I know what you're capable of, maybe more so than you do. I trust you. We can find a way to avoid the baby issue."

"I won't risk it. I won't put you in danger. I've done that enough already."

Fire burned in my mind. "No."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry. What I meant to say was, hell no."

"What do you mean?" Anger was in his voice.

"You don't get to make this decision alone, remember?"

"But can I not make the decision for myself?" He countered.

"So you're saying that you don't ever want to have sex with me?"

"It doesn't matter what I want. You're too vulnerable, and I couldn't live with myself if I harmed you." I couldn't help the sting of rejection that passed through me. This was an all too familiar argument that I knew he had with Bella, but the circumstances here were vastly different. I literally knew what he was capable of. I informed him of such, multiple times, and he was still refusing. Did that mean that he loved Bella more? The fact that she could wear him down, even not knowing the outcome of matters?

"And if I married you?" I questioned hopefully.

I saw a flicker of desire burn through his eyes, but then the stubborn side of him took back over. "I would want nothing more than to call you my wife one day, but it wouldn't make you any less vulnerable."

Ouch. There it was. Even if I met all of his "criteria" I still wouldn't be enough. Maybe I should have argued for him to change me. I didn't really want that, for now at least. I was enjoying reliving my youth and spending time with Charlie, but I guess I always knew that my changing would have to happen eventually. I had just, wrongly apparently, assumed that Edward would be willing to change me after college maybe. It seemed that he was pretty dead set on me staying the way that I was.

"Ok." I didn't want to argue. I felt like my seventeen year old appearance took some credibility from anything I said, and it didn't matter right this second anyway because I knew nothing would come of our argument right now even if we agreed.

He must have seen some of the defeat in my face. "Iris..."

"No, it's ok. I understand your side. It's your right to protect your own virtue, and to not test your limits. I respect it. I don't agree, but I respect it." I tried to shrug off the pain that I was feeling. It's fine, Iris. You're fine. You can still be with him. You've distracted yourself from THAT activity before, and you can do so again.

"Iris. I don't care about my virtue. I love you more than anything. I know you think that you understand because you read about it in a book, but there's a reason that I have never practiced medicine when I've been through the training multiple times. Reading about something and having the experience to make sound judgment when it comes to practicing are two different things. I will not practice on you."

"Ok, yes I get it." My voice sounded a little too dead. Hah. Just like me. I'm dead.

He sighed to himself when he saw that I wasn't going to just pep back up. "How about that movie?" There was a false note of happiness forced into his voice.

"Sounds good." I whispered almost to myself.

He turned on some action film. Charlie didn't have much else available to choose from. Throughout the movie my mind wandered. What should I do? It wasn't about the sex. Truly it wasn't. If that were the only issue, I would gladly forgo the activity so long as it meant that I could have Edward. The real problem was that he loved Bella more. Maybe not now, since I was here. I mean, I could feel that he loved me, but the unfortunate side to knowing too much is that I could compare how things were supposed to play out versus how they were playing out currently. He would have loved Bella with everything in him. They would have butted heads, but then they would have come together to form the greatest of all alliances. I just wasn't sure that I was properly filling that role. If there were some way for me to move on as I should have, to continue on to the light or whatever, I would sacrifice everything that I am for the man that I loved. If it meant that he could have the real Bella back...his intended mate, I would give him that. The bond that he felt must just be the remnant of this body. An echo of what he would have felt. But he seemed happy enough now, and I couldn't get Bella back. What should I do? With that thought, I drifted off to sleep.

•PTaT•

"So the question comes to, what shall we do with you? I find it a most curious situation. See, by all accounts, you should not exist, and yet, here you are." Aro had this way about him. He was somehow the scariest and nicest person in the room at the same time. I couldn't help the way I was shaking.

"She's lying, brother! I know not how she has deceived the likes of you, but deceived she has. There's no place for her here."

"Do you think that I have lied, brother? Do you really think that a human could trick me?" Yep, there was scary Aro.

"I just do not see how what she has showed you and said could possibly have merit. We have lived more than a millennia, and have seen nothing like it. There is some key point that we are missing. I feel that we should tread lightly when there is so much discretion of truth."

"Now now, Caius. Let's not be hasty. Have you not thought of what this could mean? What we might achieve with this young one on our side? You are not seeing clearly the full benefits of an arrangement with her. What do you think, dear Marcus?"

"I know not, of what should come of the girl. She has no ties here, yet she is drawn to this place all the same."

"Curious. Very curious, young Iris. Whatever shall we do with you?"

•PTaT•

I woke up shivering on the couch. Edward had covered me in a blanket, and was sitting on the floor by my head. The same movie was playing. "What is it, Love? Did I wake you?"

"No..." What the fucking hell was that?!

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	27. AGloriousReunion

Ch. 27 A Glorious Reunion

It had been two days since my odd dream about the Volturi. Friday and Saturday passed in a blur of shopping, a trip to the spa, and mani/pedi's. I wasn't much of a companion for Alice. My preoccupation with trying to understand where the nightmare stemmed from kept me distracted much to her dismay.

By Saturday night—before the other Cullens were to return Sunday morning—she had finally reached her breaking point.

"Ok, that's it. I've had it with mopey Iris. You're dead, but you're also alive again. Get over it." I blinked when I saw Alice standing in front of me in her silk pajamas, one hand on her hip and tapping her foot impatiently. It was just so surreal to know that my former life was truly over, and then there was that dream about the Volturi. It was only a dream, but it just seemed so...real.

"Very compassionate pep talk, Alice." I replied sarcastically with an eye roll.

"Sorry, but I signed up for a fun weekend of girl stuff, not for you to stare at the wall and be sad about something that there's nothing we can do about. Besides, you didn't have Edward there, and here you do. Be happy." I couldn't argue with her there, and I loved him irrevocably, Twilight reference be damned. Stop complaining, Iris. Your life sucked before, and now it's amazing. Suck it up.

I relaxed my face into what I hoped was a light smile. "Ok, sorry. I'll try to be better at this...you know, gossiping, giggling, freezing your bra...everything." She grinned at the thought of a hopefully less distracted girl's weekend. "What time is everyone getting back?" I tried to ask the question as nonchalantly as possible, but Alice heard through my casual tone, of course.

"EDWARD will be back around eight-thirty in the morning." She smirked.

"Ok, thank you." In that moment I was happy that Jasper wasn't around to feel the anxiety rolling off of me. I missed Edward and was ready to be back in his arms, but things had been a little off between us before he left for the hunting trip Friday afternoon, and by "off" I mean that I was totally mopey, guilty as charged...But we were at an impasse on the sex issue, and I wouldn't feel right until we settled the argument one way or another. "Well, what's next? A pillow fight?" I asked with a smirk.

"Yes!" Oh good God.

"There's just one problem. You're just a tiny bit stronger than I am, Alice."

"Good thing pillows are soft..." she trailed off with a devious smile. No...she wouldn't...

WHACK!

"Oof..." I fell off of the bed. She actually hit me off the bed! Ok, you asked for it...

"Oops sorry." She grinned cheekily and didn't look or sound very sorry at all.

"You'll pay for that!" I called from the floor, but I rolled under the bed, pulling my phone from my pocket. I sent a quick text message.

"No! You wouldn't!" She gasped from atop the bed.

"Oh, yes I would, and I did." I stuck my tongue out at her as I hit send.

_Your sister is torturing me. SOS. _

_Got it._

I was calling in the big guns to help. Hah!

"No! I can't see what he's planning..." Alice pouted. Silly vampire. That's the point...

"Well, I knew that there weren't many threats that I could make to hold a candle to yours, so I evened the playing field a bit." I shrugged, as I stood from the floor. "Now paint my nails. They look like crap." I laughed, and she smiled.

"Ok fine, but only because I agree. They look like crap." She giggled along with me. Alice was truly my best friend here. And a bonus is that she wouldn't have an affair with a married man and get me fucking shot...don't go down that road, Iris. It's fine. You're here. You're happy. You have a real family. That is your past. This is your present.

"Alice, I have a question for you." I said casually.

"Why do you want to know if the Austin Powers movies exist here?" She questioned.

"Do they?"

"Yes, but—" She was still confused.

"That's all I needed to know." I answered with a shrug, and she gave me a funny look.

"You are so strange." Alice must have realized that I was on the verge of passing out. "You should change into the blue pajamas. He likes that color..." Alice trailed off suggestively. Hmm. Ok psychic, I hear you.

"Thanks." I winked at her, and she giggled as she walked out of the room.

I must have fallen asleep only minutes later, but it was restless sleep. Edward insisted that Esme find a bed for his room, so I was tucked into a massive California King sized mattress. Despite it being the most comfortable bed I had ever slept on in either of my life times, I kept waking up. The bed was a big stupid reminder of what Edward and I had talked about the day before.

This had to be my fourth time waking up. I glanced over at the clock, it was just past four in the morning. I laid there staring at the door, willing it to swing open, and see Edward coming for me. Jeez, Iris. Let the man have some space...

Then there was a crash downstairs, and I heard Alice screech. "Noooooooo!"

Holy shit! What was that?! I rolled off the bed with a thud. Great job, Iris. If you had any chance of escaping whatever has Alice freaking out before, it's gone now. I hopped to my feet awkwardly and ran to the door. I stumbled down the stairs, still half asleep to find what looked like a bunch of women's clothing spread throughout the living room. It was haphazardly strewn in a trail out the back door.

When I followed the trail out the back door which had been left open, I saw a couple hundred articles of clothing—shirts, dresses, pants, and shoes—thrown all over the yard and what appeared to be a large deer running frantically in the yard with more clothes wrapped around its body and dangling from its antlers. Alice was off to the side with her head laid on Jasper's shoulder in near hysterics while he rubbed her back in soothing motions. I could see that he was biting back a smile while Emmett and Edward rolled around on the grass.

"But why the Armani?" Alice left Jasper to run toward a certain article where she seemed to have almost a come apart. "Oh my poor babies...not the Louboutins!" She clutched the red-bottomed heels to her chest and looked to be saying a prayer.

"I didn't ask for this shit. You said there was going to be a vampire attack!" What the hell was Sam doing here?...Alice's visions. She was blind when the wolves were around...Very well played, boys. Bravo.

"No, I said there was a vampire we needed to attack. Thanks bro." Emmett stood, finally composed, with his arms across his chest, and a huge smile. Well, at least they were working together I guess? "Hey, Iris, look! We took care of half-pint for you!"

Sam growled and disappeared into the woods.

"Love, sorry to wake you." Edward rushed to my side, scooping me up, bridal style into his arms and planting a kiss on my lips.

"It wasn't you. It was Alice." I breathed as I recovered from his enthusiastic greeting.

"She's being a little...melodramatic." He gave his smallest sister the side-eye.

"Why did you destroy her clothes?"

"No, not me. Emmett. You texted him earlier, so he took care of it."

"You!" Alice spun toward me, seeming to come out of her daze, like she just realized I was there.

"Alice...I didn't know he would go to such an extreme. I just wanted something little...you know, a frozen pair of panties or something..." I was backing away from the crazy-eyed vampire.

"Oh, that's fine. I understand. I understand perfectly." Alice grew suspiciously calm. Freaky, Alice. I would much prefer her to be manic than like this.

Edward clutched me tighter, running me back to his room. He set me down gently on the floor by the bed, and turned to put some soft jazz music on his stereo before returning to stand across from me by the bed. He suddenly seemed quieter, less sure of himself.

"Hi." He said in a low voice.

"Hi." I answered easily. "I missed you." He looked up, his perfect crooked grin forming in place of a frown.

"I missed you more." He smiled wider yet paused for a moment, obviously sorting through his words. He slowly crossed the short distance that separated us, taking my hands in his as he looked down through his thick, dark lashes at me. "I'm so sorry. I know this must be difficult for you to sacrifice so much to be with me. I would understand if it were too much for you to bear, but I want you to know that being with you makes me the happiest man who ever existed." Ugh, sometimes I wanted to be angry with him, and then he would say things like that in such a genuine way that I was reminded of all the reasons I fell in love with him and why the sacrifices were worth it. Stop being an idiot, Iris.

"I just want you to open your mind. Allow me to make my own choices and be an equal contributor to the decisions we make as a couple. I am willing to wait as long as it takes, but I want to know that us really being together could be a possibility one day. I trust you, and I need you to trust yourself." There. That was what I wanted to say.

"I...will...think about it." He answered seriously with a furrowed brow. Well, that wasn't a no...progress.

"Thank you. That's all I want for now. I love you so much, and I want to experience everything with you." I tried to infuse every ounce of love and understanding into my words, and I think he felt it too. He pulled me snugly into his arms, lifting me off of the ground enough that he could bring my lips to his. We stayed that way long enough for me to lose my breath.

"Keep wearing this shade of blue, and you may get your wish wether I want to grant it on not..." he murmured against my skin. "You look absolutely ravishing." He continued to trail kisses along my jaw, neck, and collar bone, and I shivered in pleasure. Damn, I was one happy girl. Thank you, Alice...

"Mr. Cullen..." I purred, and he chuckled lowly as he towed me to the bed, placing me on my back and lying beside me as he continued his path of kisses back up along my jaw.

"Oh, Love?" He suddenly perked up.

"Mmm?" I was still lost in the nibbles he was leaving on my ear.

He spoke between kisses. "I wanted to warn you that...the Denali's...will be here in...about four hours to...visit from Alaska."

I pulled back abruptly. "Just a friendly visit?" I was instantly suspicious with his tone of voice and impeccable timing.

"Of course." He said with his sweet, innocently pure baby face. His guilty face.

"Then why did you wait until I was utterly engrossed in your lips to bring it up?" I narrowed my eyes at him. Fess up, sweetie.

"I can't help that you find my lips so compelling, but, Well, there may be one small complication..." he began.

"How small?" My voice grew sharp.

"Laurent seems to have found his way to them, and he's taken to Irina. She says she believes him to be her mate." He spoke quickly, yet casually.

"No!" Hell no. This wasn't happening. It wasn't time. There weren't enough wolves!

"Iris?" Edward's face became blurry as my eyes teared up. I knew this would happen. I'd been waiting for it. Twilight would always have its way. There was no skipping around the plot or hoping for the best. This story would get its ending no matter what.

"No. I said no! I told you this would happen. I knew it. I told you, and now...he...and she...and I...I told...you..." I couldn't seem to catch my breath and the room was spinning. Shit. Fuck. Fuckety fuck!

"Iris, it's fine. It's just the Denali's. I won't let anything or anyone harm you, remember? I will protect you with my life."

"That doesn't...make me feel better...I want you here with me, not off...risking your life for...some damn...psycho."

"It won't come to that. I'm here with you. I'm safe. I love you..." He shifted positions slightly, pulling me closer to him and allowing his fingers to brush lightly along my hips.

I couldn't help it as my breathing hitched, and my thoughts instantly changed back to our conversation from the day before. Gah, you're losing your mind, Iris. Freaking out one second from fear, and willing to jump Edward's bones the next...

"You're so warm..." he hummed against my neck as he ran his nose along the pulse point there. "And you smell utterly delicious."

"It has been a long time since a boyfriend has commented on how much they wish they could eat me..." I whispered, and Edward laughed, making...things...touch in a most glorious way. Don't say anything, Iris. He's skittish and scares easily. I snuggled even closer into him and breathed, "I love you."

"You are my life now." He responded reverently.

•PTaT•

(BPOV)

"Goodnight, Dad."

"Night, Bells."

I left Charlie, still watching the last quarter of some game. I was anxious about beginning at a new school in the morning.

I had never been one to seek out attention, quite the opposite actually. If anything, I preferred to be totally invisible, and being in a small town like Forks would make that very difficult. In Phoenix, I was one of about four thousand students at my school. In Forks, there were less than a hundred students in my graduating class.

"Oh, honey, I thought we could go to the diner for breakfast in the morning before school if we wake early enough." Charlie called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Ok, Cha-Dad." I corrected quickly. I would have to get used to saying Dad out loud. Mom almost always referred to him as Charlie so I wasn't in the habit of thinking any other way.

After my quick shower, and brushing my teeth, I changed for bed, and prepared my things for in the morning. I was exhausted from my long flight, and the drive from Seattle this afternoon, but as I laid in bed I couldn't quiet my mind long enough to sleep. I spent the longest time staring at the ceiling and watching the shadows change on the wall as the wind blew the tree outside my window. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something felt off, something other than my being in Forks for the first time in nearly five years. It felt like there was a big change coming, something foreboding hanging in the air like a thick cloud of mist. Oh well, it's Forks. It's always raining here.

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	28. IrisIsAlsoADangerMagnet

Ch. 28 Iris Is Also A Danger Magnet

"It's so lovely to meet you, Iris." Of course Tanya was first into the house...Mmhmm I'm so sure you have just been dying to meet me, Tanya, aka strawberry blonde goddess of boyfriend stealers. I see you looking at Edward, you succubus...ok, take it down a notch, Iris. She only said that it was nice to meet you, that doesn't mean that she's going to go after Edward...

"You too, Tanya." I kept it short. Let's wrap this up. Can I go home now?

"Edward, it's been too long. I really wish you could have come to watch the lights with us last month." Edward leaned in for a hug, and she did as well, but at the last second Tanya turned to kiss him on the cheek.

"Tanya, it's nice to see yo—" He froze in shock because she—did that bitch just pinch his ASS?! Now THAT means she wants to steal your boyfriend...Oh it's going down! I'm about to take off my hoops. DON'T MAKE ME LOSE THE HOOPS! No...no. Deep breaths. Iris, remember when we decided that Edward is his own man, and all that Jazz? If he wants to leave you, that's on him, not Tanya Boyfriend-stealer. God, I'm really starting to feel schizophrenic. Note to self, try harder not to talk to yourself so much...it's fine. Edward loves you, YOU.

I turned abruptly to take a seat in the living room, but of course the one time that I absolutely want to be as graceful as a vampire, I tripped on my own foot—what the hell??—and nearly hit my head on the console table in the foyer. Edward's hand flew away from his formerly frozen body to stop me in time from gashing a hole into my head, again. I heard several hushed giggles behind me, and I blushed furiously.

"Oh, Edward, it must be so interesting to have a human be so near all the time. I see what the appeal is now, though. Iris here seems to be a bit difficult to keep from harming herself." Tanya stood staring with a small smile of feigned innocence but spoke in a haughty tone. That's it. Game over. I'm going to find a flamethrower for this bitch.

"I don't mind at all. It gives me more of an excuse to almost never leave her side..." Edward was staring adoringly into my eyes. "Are you alright, love?" All thoughts besides his golden irises boring into my own brown ones halted. He's so handsome...

Another laugh escaped someone to my left as two more of the Alaskan coven entered the home at Esme's insistence. "Let the poor girl breathe, Edward." It was a heavily accented voice. Why hello, Carmen. To her right was who I had to assume was her mate.

"Hello, Iris, I'm Carmen and this is my mate, Eleazar." She gently pulled me away from Edward to hug me, which he seemed to not approve of, but his Edwardian Era manners, and probably fear of Esme, wouldn't allow him to be rude enough to say anything.

"Yes, I've heard so much!" I tried to make my preference for the gorgeous Latina vampire obvious. Edward shot a look of confusion my way, but Alice looked like the smallest thing might send her into hysterics. What? I know it's childish, but what else should I do? Tanya could stand to lose a bit of her overinflated ego.

Eleazar only offered his hand to me, but he had the strangest look on his face. "Your mate is a—"

"Shield? Yeah I know." I answered with a laugh.

"You know?" He seemed surprised as he looked to Edward inquiringly. Edward only shook his head. "It is an interesting gift. I would love to speak to you more about it later, but—" I nodded and was about to respond when the aura in the room suddenly changed.

Each of the Cullens stiffened, and Edward pulled me back to him, positioning himself slightly in front of where I stood with the wall behind me. Jasper and Emmett came to stand on either side of me, so now I was really blocked in. What the hell was with that? Oh, _oh_.

Irina and her newly declared mate were walking up the front steps. I had never seen Laurent in person, and he didn't disappoint. Just as the book described, he was olive complected with cropped dark hair. He was dressed quite well, but so were the other members of the Denali Coven.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Growled Edward. "I thought it was to be just the five of you?" He asked Irina.

"How rude of you! How dare you speak of my mate in such a manner—and in front of him too?" Irina looked aghast. I never did like her. I thought seeing the real character in person might change my opinion, but knowing how she can be so easily deceived by Laurent and the way she responded in the books...let's just say that I wouldn't be totally upset if they decided to elope and go live in a cave somewhere by themselves.

Then my eyes met with Laurent, and I couldn't help the shiver that escaped me. Edward took a step backward and Emmett and Jasper each side-stepped so they were closer to me as well. I almost couldn't see past them. Almost.

There was a look of shame on Laurent's face. "It's alright, my darling." He said to Irina before turning back to face us. "Cullens, Iris, I am so sorry for how everything turned out when we last saw each other. However, I have, thankfully, found Irina, and have been enthralled by her ways. I have chosen to live as she does and now see the error of James and...Victoria's ways. Please forgive me for associating with them. I had no idea that our presence would affect such a refined, gracious coven as yours." Maybe it was my bias, or the fact that his eyes were a murky orange rather than golden, but I didn't believe him. At. All.

Edward straightened, reaching his hand behind himself to take my hand. He squeezed slightly as he answered, "It's been taken care of, but we will not be so easily fooled this time into believing you mean Iris no harm. If she even misses a breath while you're around, well, let's just say that I do not share the passivity of my adoptive parents." There was a growl to Edward's voice that I couldn't help but find very alluring. Holy shit.

Laurent bowed his head slightly in acknowledgment. "Yes, I understand, and I hope that, with time, I may earn your trust."

Emmett only scoffed while Jasper released a burst of that strange calm, dizziness.

"Cut the shit, guys." A third blonde approached the house. "Hi, I'm Kate. You must be Iris." She offered her hand, and Edward growled. "God, I was only kidding. I wouldn't actually do it..."

"No, it's ok. Watch." I said as I reached around Edward and went to place my hand in hers, but Edward grabbed my wrist to stop me.

"Iris! You don't understand." He hissed in warning through his teeth.

"I do. Let go, and watch." I urged again. This time he stared at me, gauging my level of sanity until I sighed in exasperation. "Trust me."

He barely released my wrist but followed my hand as I reached for Kate's. She stared on in perplexity and fascination as I placed my hand in hers and...Ta-dah! ...Nothing happened.

Edward released a breath of relief, but Kate seemed upset. "How did you do that?" She inquired.

"It's her shield." Eleazar responded in awe. He had that same look that Carlisle would get when learning something new after three centuries of life.

"It's remarkable, isn't it?" Carlisle asked, and disappeared with Eleazar to the other room as they openly discussed the anomaly. Yeah yeah we all know that Bella Swan is a miracle...blah blah blah. "Come sit with us in the living room, please," he called after the group, and we moved—Edward still standing VERY closely by my side while keeping an eye on Laurent—toward the room.

"Would you like something to eat, dear?" Esme asked me. I know she meant it to be cordial and comforting, but all it did was give Tanya another reason to bite back a smile at my offending humanness, my otherness. Specie-ist Bitch.

"No, thank you." I replied in a low voice.

"Alright, just let me know, and I'll have something ready for you." Esme smiled, and I nodded.

Edward found a spot on the sofa and tucked me into his lap, not willing to let me out of range of his hands while so close to a known human-drinker. I wasn't going to fight him on it either. I was totally content to sit so intimately while Tanya glared across at us from the chair where she sat. Every few seconds she would look to Edward, obviously attempting to get his attention, but he was too busy watching Laurent.

"So, what all has occurred since we saw you last a few years ago?" Carlisle asked politely, playing moderator for the covens.

"Well, not much, I suppose. Two years is such an insignificant amount of time in comparison to eternity. Nothing lasting can really happen in such a short time." Tanya looked meaningfully between Edward and me. A low sigh and eye roll escaped Edward's previously stoic facade.

"I think things can change very quickly in the face of love." Laurent surprised everyone by speaking up as he looked to Irina. She merely gleamed at her "mate's" remark.

"I couldn't agree more..." she said in a dreamy voice. Barf. Is that what Edward and I looked like? That's why Emmett and Alice called us a barf fest if so. I really hoped they were wrong.

"Yes, things can happen quickly in cases of true love." Tanya replied, still looking at Edward. "It is strange how your own mind can play games with you, though...One day you're totally indifferent to those who are perfect for you, and the next you can't seem to think clearly because you have convinced yourself that you're madly in love with someone who could only ever be an infatuation..." she trailed off as if lost in thought, but we all knew who she meant. It wasn't her oblivious sister and her psycho boyfriend either.

My lower lip began quivering, but I fought the tears as best that I could. Hold them back. Don't let her know what she's doing to you. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.

"Sometimes we can trick ourselves into believing we are perfect for someone, but the universe had other plans for us. I have been lucky enough to have found my one true love, and I hope you might find yours one day as well, Tanya." Edward spoke earnestly as he rubbed circles on the top of my hand with his thumb. God, he's amazing. I couldn't have kept a cool head like that...shit, I _didn't_ keep a cool head like that, and I couldn't hear her thoughts.

Tanya didn't seem so happy to no longer be speaking hypothetically. She stood up more gracefully than I ever could—even in my original, less clumsy, body—and looked to Rosalie who had been quietly standing with Emmett in the corner. "Rose, would you accompany me on a hunt? It's been so long since we have had a chance to catch up." Rosalie nodded, and the pair left without a word.

The rest of the visit was nice actually, despite the drama with Laurent and Irina. She did seem genuinely happy, and he behaved appropriately. The topic of their relationship was purposely not brought up again. We also avoided mentioning my little body-possessing habit since we still weren't sure we could trust Laurent.

As the afternoon wore on, more and more of the visitors would leave to hunt, and even though they had only just returned from their own trip, a few of the Cullens chose to go along with them to continue their visit. Finally it was only Irina, Laurent, Esme, Carmen, Eleazar, Edward, and me remaining.

Irina and Laurent stood in unison preparing to leave. "Well, I must go find my sisters. I will return later to say our goodbyes. I'm so happy we were able to get passed our little...disagreement." Her eyes narrowed a bit in my direction as she apologized. Yes, just a little disagreement that your boyfriend was buddy buddy with my would-be murderers. But eh, that's nothing. Water under the bridge...

I was surprised to hear Edward speak up, "Yes, about that, I would actually like to apologize myself. Could I accompany you on your hunt?"

"Yes, I'd very much like that." Laurent answered.

"Perfect. Esme, would you stay with Iris, maybe make her some lunch before I take her back home?"

"Of course, Edward." Esme seemed just as bewildered as I was with what was happening.

He stepped passed his mother; and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I'll be back soon, Love." What are you up to, Cullen?

"Iris, I'll just be in the kitchen. Would lasagna be alright?" I wanted to laugh at the way she asked if a normally hour long process of preparing sauce, layering pasta and cheese, and baking the monster would be alright. Must be nice to have things come so easily as a vampire...

"Yes, that sounds lovely." I answered. How did I get so lucky to find such a wonderful family?

"I'd actually like to come along too. Are you coming, Mi amor?" Carmen asked her mate.

"No, I think I'll skip the activity this time. I hunted on the way here, remember?" He smiled slightly to her, and she frowned a little but didn't argue with him as she kissed his cheek and left after the trio.

That left only Eleazar and me alone in the room together. I could hear Esme moving pots and pans around in the kitchen.

Eleazar was staring at me. Well, this is awkward. I mean, he seemed like a nice enough guy, but he hadn't exactly contributed a whole lot to the conversation where I was concerned and now he was taking a bit more interest in me than I was comfortable with.

"Iris, I forgot to tell Edward something. I'll be just a few seconds. Will you be alright with Eleazar for a moment?" Esme asked from the doorway.

"Yeah, sure." No. Nope. He's giving off creepy vibes right now. She nodded and ran out the back door.

"So, how about those forty-niners...?" I chuckled nervously.

He didn't even crack a smile. "This isn't your body." Well, that was blunt.

"Excuse me?"

"Earlier, you said you have a shield. This body does, but it's not yours. You have a different gift, one you may not have even realized that is a gift, but you are using it currently."

"Huh?" Huh?

"Your...soul. Your essence, so to speak, the thing that makes you, you. It's inhabiting this body now. That's your gift. You're a drifter. There have been theories of your existence for millennia, but never has anyone found such evidence as one standing right before me. I didn't want to say anything in front of your friends since no one mentioned it."

"A drifter?" Holy fuck.

"It would seem that you are able to co-exist in another's body. I can feel the girl inside with you now." Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She's still in here? Bella? Can you hear me? Oh my God.

"I don't see how you couldn't, Iris. This isn't your body. I won't interfere, but I just wanted you to be warned that the Volturi would do anything to have a power like yours. And for you to be human and have such power already? You are in danger." His voice stayed level, his eyes hard. His words hung in the air like a heavy mist.

I'm in danger. Oh shit.

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	29. PanicAttack

Ch. 29 Panic Attack

I've gotta get outta here. I don't know how, but if I'm in danger, so is everyone else. I can't leave in this body. They'll know. I can't stay or else they'll get caught in the middle and die. I'm screwed. They're really screwed. I lived my life already. I died. I was supposed to move on, and, instead, I took a young girl's life away from her, a father and mother's daughter...and to make matters worse, she's still here with me. Has she been witness to me groping her intended mate? Oh God. Bella? Oh God. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to make it work. And Edward? Oh my God...how can I leave him? I can't. I can't leave him. He's too precious to me...no. Oh God, I have to leave him. I have to because it's the right thing to do. He says he loves me, but does he? Can he? Could he love me more than he would love you? He couldn't possibly. I'm fighting fate. He loves this body. He loves this body's true soul that is still being held captive by me. I always knew it wasn't supposed to be me, and now I have the answer. Oh God. What the fuck? How did I do this? Why did I do this?

This isn't real. This can't be real life. Real life doesn't have magic, and vampires, and werewolves...werewolves! Werewolves are shapeshifters. They started as men and inhabited the bodies of wolves like...like magic. Am I magic? Am I like the wolves? Can I somehow reverse it and be separated from this body? Where would I go? On to an afterlife? Oh God. No, it's what's right. It's for the best. He doesn't know it, but he wants her. She is his mate. She is his true love. Oh God. She is his everything, and I didn't save her. Shit. Fuck. Holy Hell.

Bella, I'm so sorry. I've gotta get outta here. I have to leave. Holy Fucking Shitballs of firery Hell.

"Iris, dear, your lunch is ready." Esme pulled me from my internal crisis. I had my back to her, and I hoped I could hide the turmoil of my mind. I could do this. How many times had I been in one patient's room when they were being given the worst news of their lifetime only to close the door and enter another room where another patient was receiving the best news? I had a good poker face if nothing else. Get it together, McGee. You have to get it together for them, for him. Oh God.

"Thanks, Esme. I'm starving. Your timing is impeccable." I smiled a little too tightly at her as I made my way to the kitchen. I sat at one of the tall, metal bar stools resting near the island and dug right into the piping hot food, ignoring the burning as it slid down my throat. I had to keep my hands and mouth doing something, anything, or else I would lose it. Hah. You're already losing it, dumb ass body-hijacking bitch.

I'm a drifter. A fucking drifter. A body thief is what I am. Oh God. How did I do it? Why did I do it? Had I really read this Fucking book so many times that I wished myself into her body? Was that it? Bella, I'm so sorry. I fell in love with your mate, and I stole him from you. I stole everything. I didn't mean to do it. Oh God.

Please let me go. I need to get out. How do I get out? I can't breathe. Is it hot? It's hot. It's not supposed to be hot. It's this Goddamned lasagna. Eat it. Esme made it. She loves you. She shouldn't love me. He shouldn't love me. It's supposed to be Isabella Swan. She's supposed to be bonding with her. She's supposed to be in love with Edward Cullen. They're supposed to get married, and have sex, lots of sex. Sorry, Bella. I shouldn't be thinking about you and him together. Oh God. Renesmee. She's supposed to be Jacob's imprint. Jacob. Happy, sweet, innocent Jacob. I stole his happy ending too. If I leave is there time to save everything? Oh God. I'm so fucked.

The Volturi are coming. I can feel it. I don't know how, but even my subconscious knew it. The dream. The nightmare. Oh God. Edward and his family are all going to die because I'm a fucking drifter. What the hell is that?!

"Is everything alright, dear? Is the food cooked right?"

"Yes. It's absolutely delicious. I told you that you need to get in on the cookbook game!" My voice didn't sound right. I sounded manic and panicky. Cool it, Iris. They can't know. You need to stay calm, so you can leave. Exit stage right. Gotta get out. Oh God.

How to do it? Think. Think. You know this story so well. You know how Bella's ability and the others work. Who might be able to help? Oh God.

Where's Edward? He's going to be back soon. What to do about him? He's perfect. He's perfect, and he's yours. She's his everything and you're not. You should have saved her. You can save her, and he's not yours. He's hers. And you're not supposed to be here. You were shot and killed. You died. You fucking died.

Ok. You can do this. Your education is science based. How do we solve problems in the science world? We ask questions, form a hypothesis, test that hypothesis rigorously, and analyze the results with intense scrutiny. I don't have time for that shit. It takes years to do that.

Deep breaths. In and out. That's right. Think about how you got here. You died. But did I die? I can't remember that part. I can't remember dying. Let's pretend that I didn't die, then. What happened? John was in the break room with Sandy. He shot me three times. Sandy did compressions on me. Wait. She did compressions...chest compressions means that my heart stopped. I was out of it, but it couldn't have been long since no one had moved me out of the break room yet. She got me back. She got me back with chest compressions. Ok, then what? Think think. I went unconscious again and there were people everywhere when I woke up. I was in the trauma room in the ER. Sandy was screaming. Dr. Powell was using his voice he used when it all goes to shit. I was dying, but I didn't die. Dead people can't swap bodies. But I didn't swap bodies...I am co-inhabiting one. Oh God, Bella, forgive me. I'm going to get you back. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

Stop it. Get your head on straight. What happened next? Susan was there and she started your IV. Sean, fucking idiot, he didn't prime the tubing. He might be the reason you died. But I didn't die. Ok...the light! I was somewhere light! And warm. I was numb from the blood loss and then I wasn't. I went somewhere else. I wasn't dead, and I went somewhere else. Is that what happened this time? But this felt permanent. It felt real. No, the light felt real that time too. I remember thinking that it felt right. Where did I go then? Why did it not last like this time did? I don't know. I have to figure this out to save them. I can save him...I can save her. She will be everything to him. Oh God.

"Dear, you look like you're not feeling well. Are you tired?" Tired? Am I fucking tired? No, I'm not tired. I'm screwed. My life is over. It has been over, but for some reason my fucking subconscious thought it appropriate to steal someone else's life and ruin it instead.

"Yes, I think I'm ready to go home. Is Edward close?"

"I'm here." Edward smiled easily as he breezed through the door. He leaned over to kiss me, and I fought the urge to cringe. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. Oh God. I would be forever grateful that he could not read Isabella Swan's mind in this moment. He would be disgusted if he knew. When he knew. Not if, but when. I had to tell him. Oh God. I had to tell him.

"Are you ready to take me home? I'm really tired. Alice really knows how to take the whole staying up all night thing to the extreme..." I forced a laugh, and I could hear the insanity in my own voice. Could he hear it? He had to have heard with his sensitive hearing.

"I'll talk to her, love." Love. Goddamnit. He didn't love me. I loved him with my whole self, and he wasn't mine. I had to end this, so I could figure out how to end my possession. What was Bella thinking now? Was she as disgusted as I was? Probably not. She was like the frickin Mother Teresa. So forgiving and caring. Not like me. Not like the monster I am. I only cared about surviving, about finding a way that I could continue to wreak havoc on the world. I only ruined things. Mom and Dad were monsters, and I came from them. It would only make sense that I got my evil from them. Mark and Terri McGee strike again. Oh God.

"Iris? I said let's go. You really don't look well. Maybe we should wait for Carlisle..." Edward was clearly assessing my face trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me. Poker face. Keep a poker face.

"Sorry, headache. Tired, remember? Anyway, Carlisle will just tell you that I need a long night's rest. I'm a nurse...or was...I know what I'm talking about." I laughed nervously again. God stop it. He's going to know something's wrong, and he can't. I'm in danger. He's in danger. He's not mine. I should have saved her. I can still save her. She was everything. She will be everything again. I have to make her everything. For her to be everything, I have to be nothing. I have to leave.

"Ok..." Edward reached for my hand—her hand—and I let him drag me toward the door.

"Goodbye, Esme. Please tell Alice I had a good time with her this weekend." I hope they couldn't hear the finality of my voice. I had to get out. I had to save her. Oh God, Edward. No, he's going to be happy. She will be everything.

I kind of wished that everyone else was here to say goodbye, but it was probably for the best. The less witnesses to my meltdown, the better. Less mess. More dignity. Screw dignity. You don't deserve it. You stole her life, her love, her happy ending...his happy ending. I knew it. I fucking knew it.

"Of course, dear. I'm sure you could call her yourself in a while. I think her phone is off now. You know Alice, though. I'm sure she already got the message." Esme laughed, and it sounded like bell chimes. I laughed along, and it sounded like insanity on the verge of crying.

I coughed to cover the choking noise, and Edward looked at me with alarm. "Are you sick?" He put his hand to my face.

"No, no. Just need some rest. I promise. I've been stressed with, you know...Laurent around." Yes, good. Blame him. They'll know soon enough who the real monster is. Oh God. "Let's go. Goodbye again, Esme."

"Yes, goodbye..." she looked to me and back to Edward with concern.

He lifted me into his arms before we reached the stairs on the porch. "If you're so tired, I could carry you. The fresh air might do you some good." He smiled his crooked smile, and that might have been the straw on the camel's back if it weren't for all my years of practicing facial control.

"I think I would like to ride in the car, actually. You know my cheeks chap so easily with this wind." I smiled, and I know it didn't look right, but what else could I do? If he drove his car, he couldn't stay. Charlie would be back from Billy's soon enough. The time alone would allow me the opportunity to think, to plan. I couldn't do too much, though, with Alice watching.

He frowned for a second, but then smiled again. "Alright, I have a surprise for you anyhow." Fuck my life. I love you. I love you. You're not mine.

When we reached the car, he placed me in the passenger seat and intentionally reached across the front of me slowly to buckle the seatbelt, his face lingering near my face. I knew what he expected, what he wanted, what _I_ wanted, but I had to break this off. I had to give her back to him. He would be so happy. He couldn't know how happy just yet, but I did.

I forced a cough again just as he would have pressed his lips to mine. Oh God. No. I have to give him up, but I can't. No, I have to. I have to save her. She is everything.

"Love?"

"Yes, sorry." I pecked him on the cheek. "I'm fine, I swear it." If by fine you mean that your about to go cliff diving, then sure...you're fine, Iris. "Hurry up and get my surprise!" I feigned excitement.

I guess he fell for it because he rushed to his side, and reached up to his sun visor and pulled a cd from the holder there. He turned it on, and I gasped. It was the song...her song. Her lullaby.

"I call this one 'Fields of Iris' for you, of course." He smiled.

Tears sprung into my eyes. I had been holding back so much that I wasn't sure I could stop them. They started flowing, and it was like a pipe burst.

"Iris?!" Edward's voice rose with alarm.

"It's beautiful..." I blubbered out. It's hers. And it's perfect. I'm sorry, Bella. I'll fix this.


	30. AsILoveYou

Ch. 30 As I Love You

Aro's jet black silky hair reflected the light in the most beautiful way. I couldn't help but be totally hypnotized by it as he glided in front of me.

"We have come to a conclusion." He began, and he paused for dramatic effect. Just spit it out already. I know what you're going to say, and there's nothing I can do about it. He smiled widely, unable to hide his joy. "You shall become one of us. Welcome, young Iris." Shit. I never really had a choice. I knew that, and yet, if there were just some way that I could end this, to find my happy ending, I would do it.

"Caius, Marcus, do you have anything to say to the girl?" He looked to his peers enthusiastically, but they didn't return the emotion. Marcus looked like he was ready to leave, to go back to whatever the hell he spent his time doing when he wasn't sitting here listening to Aro jabber on, and Caius just looked pissed, like my existence was so offensive to him that he might just cross the distance and snap my neck. Do it. Please. Please kill me.

"Well, don't worry. They will love you in time. Jane, dear, would you escort young Iris to her chambers? We shall begin soon." Jane smiled to Aro, but glared at me the closer she got. "And Jane?" She stopped to look to him. "Please keep Iris in good condition. She is worth so much to me." His words were clear. Don't kill me. He needed me alive. Fucking shit.

•PTaT•

I woke up still in the car in front of Charlie's house. Fuck. The Volturi dream again.

"Iris, can I come back after Charlie is asleep?" He was so beautiful in the little bit of moon light that reflected off his skin, creating fractals of light that bounced off his hand and onto my arm. I watched the designs shift on my skin with his movements.

"I'm really tired, Edward. I'll see you tomorrow when you finish school, right?" I was pushing him away. He knew it. I knew it, but I had to. Fuck. I had to do it. He wasn't mine.

"Yes..." he paused. "Did I do something wrong? This isn't about what we were discussing earlier...about our...intimacy...is it?" If he could blush, he would have then. Sweet, darling, Edward. I wish I could go back to when our biggest problem was that you wouldn't sleep with me. That was impossible, but I could fight with you about it. This problem. The one that I, alone, was currently facing, was not impossible. It was inevitable. It was fixable. And when I fixed what I had broken, there would be nothing left to fight about. I'm so sorry, Bella.

"No, you're absolutely perfect. I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. I'll see you tomorrow after I've...rested." Would I see him tomorrow? Or would I figure this out tonight? Only time would tell. But if I left...would it be alright to say goodbye? Would Bella fault me for that? To say goodbye to my one true love? She could have eternity with him afterward. Surely she would be alright with one last goodbye...

Edward was reading my expression again. I was really sucking at this whole poker face thing tonight. Although, I wasn't usually madly in love with my patients when I used it on them...

"Iris, I'm coming back tonight. Don't argue with me. Something is wrong, and I'm not leaving you alone. You really might be sick. I can't describe it, but I feel like you're...I don't know...it's just wrong." No, it's right. I'm going to leave, and you'll be sad for a while, but you'll find solace in Bella. She will tell you how awful it was to be a passenger as someone fucked up her life, and you'll comfort her with your words about how terrible it is to be conned by a mad woman and kept from your true love.

"Please—"

"No, you can sleep. I just want to stay with you." He was almost begging. I was underestimating him. He thinks he loves you. He doesn't understand yet. But he will. This is my chance...my one last goodbye. Just let him stay, Iris. Bella will forgive you when she gets to wake up to him.

"Ok, Just let me get Charlie to bed at least." I leaned across the console, brushing my hand across his cheek, allowing myself to feel everything in the one gesture. He relaxed instantly. He could feel my love too. I have to leave him with this one last night. He will hate me soon enough.

I walked into the house. It was empty. Charlie should be on his way back. I waved from the door as Edward backed out. He winked at me, and I smiled. That's how I wanted to remember him when I went back to whatever I was going back to. Now, I had to figure it out. I had to think. How to go back? Bella, help me.

She said in the book that her shield was like a thin film that she could almost see. She could feel it. Surely I could separate my soul from hers. My soul. My essence. The thing that makes me, me. What am I? I am a nurse. Ok, but why? Lots of people are nurses. Why are you a nurse? I want to help people. There are other ways to do that. Why a nurse? Because I can fix people who are broken. I am broken. I like to place my hands on a physical ailment, and watch as it heals. It's healing. It heals me, my soul.

So what am I? Why would I be drawn to this world? I am broken, and I need healing. This world offers healing. The book offered healing. Here I could be healed. I stole her life because she had the ultimate physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. She had everything. She was everything. I will never be everything to him. It's time to move on.

Just then I saw a flicker. A flash of white. Something. Was that it? My soul? Maybe it was the realization that there was nothing here for me. Nothing here, nothing back in the hospital. Maybe that knowledge was enough to allow me to let go, to move on.

"Bells, How was your girl's weekend? Looks like you had fun." Charlie just walked in and was smiling at my hot pink nails. He looked like he wanted to laugh, but was testing to see what my opinion was first. So considerate. I loved him. I would lose him, but he wasn't mine. He deserved to have his daughter back...his real daughter.

"It was great. These nails are really something, huh? Alice did them." I laughed at the memory. I wanted to keep it. What if I couldn't remember when I woke up somewhere else. What if I forgot her...what if I forgot him? Get over it. He's not yours.

"I was about to get my sunglasses out of the cruiser." He laughed out. Bella, you are one fucking lucky duck.

"Dad, I'm really feeling kind of run down. You know how Alice doesn't know when to stop? Imagine that for almost three days straight."

He visibly shuddered. "Say no more. Save some hot water for me. I'm pretty beat too." He smiled, and I tried to memorize the expression.

"Goodnight, Dad." Goodbye, Dad. I hugged him, and he blushed.

"What do you want? Some money? Get outta here." He joked. "Goodnight, honey."

I walked up the stairs, and it felt a bit like what I would imagine death row inmates feel like when walking to their last meal. I showered meticulously, cleaned the paint off her nails, and scrubbed the make-up off Bella's perfect ivory skin. I wanted to leave everything just as I found it, unsure of how much Bella would remember when she awoke. There wasn't much I could do about the highlights Alice had insisted on getting done. I would never have allowed it if I had known I was only leasing the space.

I began to reorganize her room to the best of my memory. Books were stacked on the table which I had pushed against the other wall. I pushed the desk back and spent some time unplugging and replugging the computer up, so it would be back to where it had started. I even went into the closet and pulled out the converse sneakers. I placed one under the desk and set the other by the door, just as they had been the morning I woke up here nearly two months ago. Please don't trip and fall out the window, Bella. Only a dumbass like me would do that. Although, Bella was used to living in this clumsy body. She would know how to carry herself in it. She would be fine.

"Did you suddenly have a burst of energy?" Edward was standing by the window, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed looking amused.

"Yeah I guess. I just liked it better this way before." She has it this way. I'm sure she will tell you why.

"Hmm..."

"What is it?" I smiled at him. He's so handsome. I'm going to miss him so fucking much. How am I going to do this?

"You. You're beautiful." She is beautiful. You've never seen me.

"Thank you."

"Are you tired now, or did you need help retiling the bathroom?" He chuckled. I would miss that laugh. He isn't mine.

I couldn't control the yawn that escaped me. I really was tired. "No, that's it. I'm all done here." He couldn't have understood what I really meant, and I was glad for it.

I climbed into the bed, and he tucked the blanket around me snugly. He laid beside me, and I reached my hand up for his face. He knew what I wanted, what I needed. It was not only a goodbye from me, but a parting gift to him. But he would soon forget about me, and he would have her. His everything.

He leaned in, and kissed me deeply. This was the last time I would be so close to him, the last time he would meet my gaze with nothing but love and adoration. It would soon be hate, or maybe when he was so happy with her, he could look to me with fondness...that is, if I ever saw him again, but I probably wouldn't. I'm sorry, Bella. It's just this once. My last goodbye.

I don't know if he felt my fear and desperation, or if I had finally worn him down enough, but he deepened the kiss more so than ever before. He pulled me closer to him, and I took my chances, kicking the covers off. He didn't stop. I rolled on top of him, straddling his hips, and he didn't stop me. I felt him, really felt him beneath me, but he continued to kiss me. When I thought I might pass out from no oxygen, he pulled away from my lips, gasping himself, and trailed kisses up and down my neck, stopping just above my breasts. I knew there was a reason I wore this tank top...

But all good things must come to an end. Well, for me at least. He helped me back under the covers, his eyes still dark and wild. It tore at me that the next time he looked that way, he would be looking at her. No, it's the right thing. How it should be.

"Goodnight, Edward. I love you." Goodbye, Edward. I fucking love you. Be happy. Take care of him, Bella.

He kissed me one last time on the forehead, and I snuggled closer to him. I began to drift away, and as I did I physically, mentally, and spiritually released Edward. He wasn't mine. He wasn't mine. He wasn't mine.

As the real world and dream world collided into one I heard one last glorious bit from the former. "As I love you."

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	31. IntoTheLight

Ch. 31 Into the Light

(BPOV)

I stretched my fingers, marveling at the small movement. I couldn't believe that after all this time my body was back. I could move, feel, sense everything. My emotions were my own, and my thoughts were mine too, only mine. After Iris—Iris! Iris is gone...I can't feel her anymore. Where is she? Iris? She's just...she's gone.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a growl from the corner of the room. I was still in Forks, in my bedroom, but I wasn't alone.

"Iris...?" Edward's velvet voice was strained. His eyes were wild with thirst. I remembered this look from when Rosalie almost attacked Iris—and me, indirectly—in the woods before. Iris is gone, so now I'm his singer. He might kill me. No, not might, he would kill me.

"Edward, she's gone. It's me, Bella."

That made him pause his slow advance. "Bella?"

"Please don't do this. We have to find her. I can help, please. Hold your breath. I'm your singer, remember? You don't want to kill me."

A million emotions flitted across his face, but he settled back on one...anger. "Gone?" He snarled. He was finally holding his breath, but his eyes were still wide, dark, and filled with desire, desire for my blood. I could see his eyes darting back and forth between my face and my neck in the moonlight.

"You have to go now. Find Carlisle. Tell him what's happened. I think Iris is in danger."

"Iris..." I could hear the pain in his tight voice even as he still struggled not to kill me. He loves her. He loved her, and she left.

"That's right. Focus on Iris. She needs you. I don't know exactly where she is, but—"

"How do you...know...so much?" It was getting difficult for him to speak. He was running out of air.

"I was with her all this time, and I have some of her memories. Please, go. You can speak to me on the phone. Don't kill me now. You might never find her."

He looked to me, and then to the window, still fighting his urges. Then, somehow, he left.

I waited several minutes until I thought he wouldn't come back, and then I ran to window, slamming it shut and locking it. I knew that would do little to help, but it was all I could think to do. I gasped for air, and sat back on the edge of my bed before my shaking knees stopped supporting my weight.

I held my face in my hands for just a moment to calm my nerves. Iris blamed herself for everything. I was so glad to have my body back, but not at the expense of Iris losing herself. What had happened? Where did she go? Just then my—Iris's—phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella?" It was Edward already. He must have put enough space between us to be able to have a clear mind. I could recall from Iris's thoughts how difficult this was for him. "Tell me everything. How did this happen? Where is she?"

"I don't know where she went exactly, but your friend from Alaska, Eleazar, he told Iris something." I paused as I tried to recall everything he said.

"What is it?" His tone was impatient.

"He said she had an ability of her own...That the way she took over my body was actually a gift. She's powerful. A drifter is what he called her. He said there were stories of her kind of ability, but no proof and that the Volturi would do anything to have her, that she was in danger. Then he told her that he could still feel me with her, and she started freaking out. She thinks you can't love her because I'm still here. She thinks it's me drawing you to this body, so she sacrificed herself..."

"Damnit, Iris. So what? You said she's gone. How did she...leave you?"

"I'm not totally sure. She thought something about a light..? She was trying to remember from the last time she left her body. Then she just kind of said her goodbyes and released me. When I woke up, she was gone, and I had control. And you—"

"Can't stand to be anywhere near you if you want to live. I'm sorry. I didn't expect—"

"I know. It's fine. I get it, but there's something else. She had been having these dreams for the last few days, but she didn't tell anyone. Well, she thought that they were dreams, but I don't think that's what they were...they were memories."

"Memories of what?" He was growling again.

"The Volturi."

He let out a deafening roar that I could hear not only through the reciever but also from outside my window, and the line went dead.

Then there was a knock on my door, and I turned.

"Bells? What are you doing up so—oof!"

"Dad!" I ran to hug the father who I had been able to see and hear, but not interact with for the last two months. Through Iris's interactions with him and inner commentary, as colorful as it was, I was able to re-evaluate and change my perspective on my parents. I was so incredibly lucky to have Charlie, and I would never let him go again.

•PTaT•

(IPOV)

There was so much light everywhere, and it was warm. I was back. I made it back to the light.

"Welcome back, Iris." The disembodied female voice from the first time I was here spoke.

"Thank you...Where am I?" It was so warm...I could stay here forever, but there was something missing...someone...

"This is the plane of neutrality."

"What's that?" Should I want to be here? It was just so good, but why?

"The point of absolute homeostasis, Total equilibrium, The ultimate balance of everything and nothing." Wow. Ok...

"Is this Heaven?"

"No and yes. It's not anything, but it's also everything."

Ok this is like some Star Wars bullshit. I was done with the fantasy—fantasy? That word triggered something a feeling...love.

Why love? Why that word? Was that what I was missing here...? No, not what. Who. Who was I missing?

"Am I dead then?"

"No, but, Iris, you can't stay here for long. Your gift allows you to become totally neutral for short amounts of time, but you have to move on." It was the male voice this time.

"How? Where do I go?"

"We don't know. We only exist in this plane. You must find yourself."

Find myself? Like literally or was this some kind of metaphor for something...? Then I felt it. A pulling, not a physical pull, but like a feeling, a flow of energy drawing me toward it. It was like the embodiment of the feeling you have when returning home after a long vacation. The feeling of being home. I focused hard on the direction of the energy, and felt myself drifting back into darkness.

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	32. Everything

Ch. 32 Everything

It was shocking to wake up. Firstly, I halfway expected to just drift off into oblivion once I left Bella's body, but that didn't happen. Secondly, when I awoke, I knew instantly that something was wrong. Well, maybe not wrong, different. It was definitely my body. Longer limbs, blonde hair cascading gently down my back, but it also couldn't be my body. This body was was strong, durable, resistant...immortal.

I was a vampire. I could feel the burn in my throat. I could move faster than my mind could make the decision to do so. I could see every minute detail down to the grain of sand in the cement grout, though it was pitch black. I felt no drive to breathe, though it was strange not to do so. I could hear a tapping—dripping water—in the distance...a hundred yards away, if my estimates were correct, and through the brick wall to my right. What the fucking hell had happened? Where was I and HOW did this happen? I couldn't remember the change. I couldn't remember how I had gotten here or where here even was, but ask and ye shall receive...

"You're back. Good. I very nearly destroyed you, but I guess that won't be necessary now." I recognized that voice. If I were still human, it would send shivers down my spine, but I wasn't human. I was one of the elite. I was a vampire, but not just any vampire...As I watched Jane leave out the large wooden door, I tried to recall the events that had led to this moment. I've made a mistake. A huge fucking mistake...

•PTaT•

"Ohhhh..." I moaned as I blinked my eyes open. Good God when would this end? When would I just die already? The morphine or whatever the hell they had given me as they worked in the ER must have worn off, and I was so fucking cold. It was freezing here, and dark. Where were all the lights?

"Who's there? Who are you?" A male voice called to me. Who the fuck was that? If he works at the hospital I hope he loses his fucking job. This was ridiculous the way I was left on the cold, wet floor in the dark in pain.

"Help...me..." I didn't feel any better than the last time I awoke in the hospital. Certainly they would have stabilized me by now. If I wasn't stable then I'd be dead. Obviously, I was awake, so I had to be stable, right? Wrong...everything was black again.

•PTaT•

So I had come here first. I had been here before I had travelled to Bella's body. Those weren't dreams I was having...they were memories...Holy shit. Does that mean...? No. It couldn't be. No!

•PTaT•

"Master, I've found a girl in the drains. She appears wounded, almost dead. I would have gotten rid of her, but she...she knew what we are." I could hear the man—the vampire? What the fuck?!— who found me talking with another male voice.

"Well by all means, bring her in! I'm very interested to see her story. Isn't this exciting, Marcus? Caius?"

"Yes very exciting, Aro..." A third male spoke in the same voice a bored parent uses when entertaining a child. Wait, Marcus and Caius...? The Volturi? No, it couldn't be. None of this is fucking possible, but of all the impossibilities, this is the most impossible. Holy fucking fireballs of the darkest pits of Hell. How? No. No. No. Not here. Not them. What the fuck is happening?

The vampire-holy shit!? A vampire?! I was just kidding when I accused him. I saw his red eyes and my dumb, almost dead ass cracked a Twilight joke. How was I suppose to know it was anywhere near truth?!—returned and dragged my limp frame into an atrium filled with other...vampires. I would have been in awe of the view if it weren't for the fact that I was so close to death. At this point my body was so numb that surely this had to all be a dream. This was just my subconscious filling the void before my brain totally shut off. No way could I have survived this long in the first place, and let's not mention the fact that there were fucking VAMPIRES around me. This is not real. It can't be.

A male wearing a long dark cloak, similar to the one the last guy was wearing, but this one was much more ornate—met my eyes, and he approached me.

"Let me see what you have found, Demetri." Oh Demetri. Of course that's who found me...what the hell, brain?! You couldn't have sent me to a field somewhere or a fucking shopping mall? Anything would have been better than lying on the ground, half dead in front of the Fucking Volturi as my last memory before death.

He reached for me, and I marveled at how frail he appeared the closer he was. His skin was so thin, like rice paper. I didn't have enough strength to react to his touch or even say anything as he ever so gently placed his palm in my own. I was completely numb, and I felt nothing. Damn. My one chance to feel a vampire, fake or not, and I can't appreciate it.

"So intriguing! Caius, Marcus! How I wish I could share this with you!" Aro's—because who the fuck else could he be?!—face grew jubilant the more that he saw from me. I don't know what the hell he was thinking, but he seemed way too happy about it. Ok, anytime now brain...you can go ahead and shut down.

"So many plans...so many plans..." he mumbled to himself as he rubbed his palms together. "What shall I do with you?" He was still smiling as he paced the hall.

•PTaT•

"Let's go. Aro is ready for you." Jane said through her teeth. I swallowed back the spit—no, venom...shit—that was building in my mouth. I needed to hunt. How long had it been since the change? Oh God the Volturi aren't vegetarians. Holy shit.

As we walked down the hall, I had the strongest sense of deja vú. I had been here before...this is where Demetri had dragged me to meet the guard and the reigning triad. Oh Fuck.

"Ahh Iris. We were so very afraid that you might not return to us. How wonderful that things seemed to have worked out!" Well his inappropriate level of enthusiasm hadn't changed. How long had I been out? Can I ask him that? Wait, he needs me. I can do whatever I want. Plus, there's always the bonus that if I pushed too far, he would have me destroyed...so...

"How long has it been?"

"Haha! Your candor does entertain me!" He was clapping his hands together like a small child. God he's so fucking strange...and scary. "Let's see. We changed you back in January, so it's been about..."

"Two months." I finished for him flatly. So the whole time that I was in Bella's body, my body was here, waiting for me. I must have checked out sometime before or even early in the change. Maybe that was it. Stress was the trigger. If my mind thought that I was under too much duress, it found a way to preserve itself. I had always been a runner when it came to fight or flight. Flight was just part of my M.O. Was I even surprised that down to my special ability, I stayed true to character? Shit.

"Yes. Did you travel anywhere very interesting? We were concerned when you suddenly stopped screaming mid-change..." Aro's tone was of polite interest, but he had his hand extended toward me. I don't have Bella's shield anymore. Well shit. Can I run? Demetri can track me...fucking shitballs. I'm so screwed.

Here goes nothing...I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to leave this body. Focus on Demetri, Iris. Get out of here. Get out. But now that I was no longer a human, it felt different. I couldn't find the light. I couldn't reach the place, or maybe it was hidden. Aro reached my hand before I could get away, and he grew silent as he read my memories and current thoughts.

"Tsk tsk, Iris. You must not be so fearful. You haven't even given us a chance. I see that your dominant exposure to a vampire lifestyle has been quite...controlled. We can offer you more. Here, you can have everything." He said as he released my hand. He was twisting my own words, but I knew what he was doing. He would never let me go. He was going to groom me, and expect me to use my abilities to benefit him somehow. Shit. Do I even want to know?

What was Ed—no, you gave him up. You chose this. He will be happy with her. Keep your head down until you can figure this out. There has to be a way out. I have to find a way. I just have to figure this out. You're a vampire, damnit! Holy shit I'm a vampire. I'm a vampire? I'm a vamp—what is that smell? It's delicious like chocolate cake. Do vampires like chocolate cake? I thought all human food would all taste like dirt or something...? No, wait there's a beating...a heart beating...no, no, no...

The doors flung open and I was overwhelmed with the scent. It was wet, sweet, so delectably irrisistable...I need it. I want it. I can have it. I can have everything here. Yes, take it, Iris.

My teeth plunged into the thin skin of the neck so easily before I could even think about it. My prey squirmed uselessly. Haha I'm so strong now. Nothing can stop me. It's totally invigorating! And delicious! It's so delicious...the burning is going away. Yes. This is right. This is what I'm meant for. I can have it all. I can have everything...be everything...

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	33. ForTheLoveOfBlood

Ch. 33 For the Love of Blood

Blood. It's all there was to this life, and I was ok with that, more than ok with it. Was it really such a short time ago when I was working around it all day, and not appreciating it for the wonderful sustenance it was? Blood never disappointed me. It was warm, wet, fresh from the tap. I never saw their faces. It didn't matter. The flavor was what mattered, and the more I drank, the more I could tell the distinct differences. I was becoming quite the blood connoisseur. I think Aro got the most pleasure from watching me enjoy at meal times...freak. But as long as the blood continued to flow, who gave a shit what he thought?

How long had it been since that first wonderful experience? Days? Weeks? Years? I had lost count. As a human I couldn't recall being such a glutton, but now? I would gladly pronounce myself as such if it meant more blood for me. Hell yes!

"Iris, I'm so happy you've taken to our life, but I'm afraid it's time to practice a bit of...restraint." Restrain yourself, bastard. You just want more blood for yourself.

Aro heard my thoughts, of course, since he kept his hand on my shoulder. He let out a light laugh. "Oh you do bring so much life to the castle. But no, it is not myself I am concerned about. It has been a year. You are no longer in the newborn stage, and you should be able to space out your feeding times much better now."

A year? Well, that answers that question. But fuck him and his judgements about me. I'll take what I want. I can have everything here, remember, master? Creepy Jackass.

Suddenly he was not happy, slightly deranged Aro. He became Aro, master of masters, fear-inspiring leader of all vampires. "You must not forget who you are addressing, young one. You may think yourself free to do as you wish or believe that I might release you from this life if you push hard enough, but I have lived many lifetimes. I can guarantee that there are far worse punishments than death. You will obey me." He spit the last two words at me, and I froze in shock.

I stood, squared my shoulders, and pushed his hand away from me. "Bring it, old man." I spit back at him.

"Jane?" He called casually. Shit.

"Please remind Iris what will happen when she doesn't address her elders in the appropriate way."

"Yes, master." Her angelic child-like face was very deceptive indeed because when she smiled like that, you could tell she was no angel. She was a demon from the darkest recesses of hades reanimated.

Hours and hours and hours and hours. The pain would never end. It would only continue forever this way. But this pain was nothing. Aro thought that physical pain would break me? Hah. What a joke. Don't think it, Iris. Keep it safe, tucked away. Think of blood...warm, delicious, free-flowing blood...

•PTaT•

(BPOV)

"It's only been a year, Edward."

"Only." He scoffed.

He and I had grown closer over the last twelve months. He had built up a tolerance to my scent, so that we could work together to search every avenue for Iris, starting with the Volturi, but no luck. It was as if she vanished into thin air, which maybe she had...no, I had to stay positive for him. He was...not being so positive currently. He looked like a hundred year old vampire, deathly pale, with dry, cracked skin.

It was just so impossible. She could be anywhere, be anyone, but I didn't think she would take over anyone else's body. It didn't make sense. She hated herself for taking over my life. No, she wouldn't do that. So then what? Where was she? Alice couldn't see her, not anymore. She used to get flickers every now and again, but it was too fast or not enough to tell what she was doing. Those visions had stopped months ago. Alice kept telling Edward she thought that Iris wasn't making any decisions anymore, but she didn't think she was dead. Maybe she just said that to make us all feel better...

"You need to hunt. Please, we will think of something. Just take care of yourself. Iris will never forgive me if she sees you like this. It was her one last wish that I take care of you, and I will do that in the best way I can."

"You're nothing like her, you know that?" He almost smiled.

"Gee, thanks."

An actual sound almost resembling a laugh came out of him. "No, I just meant that you're too...passive. She was amazing, but she wouldn't take no for an answer." He smiled to himself. Poor Edward. It must be so awful to be trapped this way, in limbo.

"Is. She is amazing." I corrected him with a pointed look.

"Yes. She is..." His voice was off, but I didn't know what to say.

"Jake will be here soon." We had actually started dating. I know Iris had thought the idea was so appalling, but he's sixteen, just two years different from me. Bedsides, ever since he phased, he might as well be twenty-five, but I won't tell him that. He had enough ego that I needed to deflate.

"Right, sorry. I just...it's nice to not have to hear so many thoughts all the time. I'm sorry to keep you from him." He was so formal when he got embarrassed. It was endearing. I could see the appeal, but it wasn't what Iris had thought. He felt like a brother to me. A strange, vampire, sulky older brother, but a brother all the same.

"Don't apologize. You're not Superman. You need to slow down sometimes too. It can't be healthy to be so anxious all the time." I teased and he smiled to himself. "We will find her."

I guess the silver lining of this odd situation was that I got an extended family out of it all. It had only ever been my parents and me, and later Phil, but now I had a huge family made up of the vampires and the wolves. They didn't exactly get along all the time, but they were trying. Iris had rolled her eyes enough at them that they too began to see the ridiculousness of their feud, especially when Laurent returned for me, giving them a common enemy.

Apparently the "reformed" vampire had just been biding his time to attack. None of us could figure out what was wrong with him though. He kept running along the border of Forks and La Push, obviously trying to get to me, but he was hiding his thoughts and plans from Edward and Alice. He somehow always seemed to get away at the last second...

Because of this, I always had either a wolf or a vampire with me at all times now. It was annoying, but also kind of nice. I never had to worry about falling or tripping because someone was always there to catch me. Edward shared all the same classes with me in school, and I sat with the Cullens at lunch. After school, I went to La Push and spent most of my days with Jake, and either he, Alice, or one of the others would follow me home in the evening, and watch over me by patrolling outside while I slept. I hated that they were doing all of this for me, sacrificing so much of themselves, putting themselves in danger, but I learned from Iris to not be ungrateful. They cared about me for some reason, so I should let them show it.

Just then, Jake jumped through my window and nodded to Edward as he left the same way before turning back to me. "Hey beautiful, I missed you. Are you tired already?" He kissed my forehead and held me close as I reveled in the warmth that was Jacob Black, my personal sun.

"I guess...it's just so hard to see him suffer this way. Where is she?"

"Hey, stop that. Let us worry about the supernatural. You need to be studying. Your finals are coming up, right? Dartmouth won't take any losers. They might reconsider their offer to you." I couldn't help but smile at Jake. His eternally good mood was contagious.

"I'm not totally useless, you know. Iris lived inside of me for two months. None of you can say that..."

"Sorry, you're right. I love you, Bella."

"You too, Jake." He leaned down—he towered over me with his now six-foot-seven frame—and picked me up to kiss me while he carried me to the bed. Charlie would lose it if he knew Jake was here now, but I was eighteen. What was he going to do about it? Plus, he loved Jake like his own son. Jacob also had a way of explaining himself out of anything.

I went to sleep in a state of total bliss, my werewolf at my side. Thank you, Iris.

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	34. TotalIndifference

Ch. 34 Total Indifference

"Try harder! We've been at this for weeks!" God, how can a vampire be so ugly? Like doesn't that go against the whole "draw your prey to you" thing? Felix was just big and stupid. Good thing he was strong.

"Look, yell at me a little more and see if that makes it work!" Idiot.

"You're not even trying to make it work. Do you have a death wish?" Blah blah blah. Yes, yes I would prefer to die over looking at your big stupid face anymore. When's lunch?

"You can't kill me and you know it." I stood with my arms crossed and brows raised. I dare you to try, dumb ass. Do you have a death wish? Dear Aro wouldn't like it too much if you killed off his star...

I had been put in hiding for the better part of a year now. Hiding from what? Who knows. The oh-so-elusive Volturi has their reasons I'm sure. This was the most annoying existence. This was worse than being trapped inside a human. I was trapped in my own body. I couldn't figure out how to make my ability work no matter how hard I tried. I was starting to believe that it was all fake, that I made up the whole thing in my mind, except I couldn't have. Vampires have perfect recall, unfortunately to me. All this to say, day in and day out I stood here yelling at Felix and Demetri or sometimes Jane and Alec, begging them to kill me, but they wouldn't. It's all bullshit!

They had tried everything to motivate me. They tortured me with Jane's power. They tried using Alec's numbing—which was actually nice to be devoid of it all. I pretended to be horrified by that one for several weeks just so that I could remain senseless. What kind of torture did they think that was anyway?

And Chelsea? Hah. What binds could she break? I was bound to no one anymore. Although, the one time I did try to run—not to anywhere in particular but to just be free of the incessant control in my life—I lost my limbs for a while for that. I mean, it hurt, but who the hell cares? It did make drinking blood a little harder for those months, and that was inconvenient. Now she followed me around all the time too, trying to make me feel all cushy about being here I'm sure, but she just made me indifferent at best...

So here we are. I was supposed to be "training" and learning to use my power, but nothing was working. I had zero motivation anyway. Like what do I need to help them for? The blood? I could get that on my own. Fear of pain? Nope. Next. Fear of death? Haha. We've established that I was ready to die like yesterday.

"Aro isn't going to wait for you forever." So what? Oh my God come up with a new argument already. Every. Freaking. Day.

"He shouldn't. I'm sure he has much better things to do with his unlimited time." I wonder if he spent his nights alone watching "Friends" re-runs. I would die of laughter if I saw that...

"No, he knows everything, remember? He knows how to break you, and it will happen soon."

Huh? "I'm not afraid of death, pain, injury, or any of your mental games. I've requested most of those things myself, so what else is there?" I'm so over this.

"Edward."

No. God No. I hadn't heard the name or even thought it in over a year, and suddenly my mind replayed every single moment we ever shared together. The gym. The nurse's office. The ER. His room. His car. The porch swing. My bed...

I saw his smile when he looked at me, his copper hair in the sunlight, his perfectly cut jawline as he moved it so close to my neck, his golden eyes when he looked so deeply into mine...

I heard his laugh when I made a stupid comment or when I nearly tripped, his voice when he sung along to the radio while he drove like a mad man, his feral growl when he was angry, his moan of my name when he felt desire...

I felt his cool skin against my warm skin...tasted his lips...felt his mouth, his arms, his legs intertwined with mine...

No! No! NO!

He must have seen me twitch because he smiled. "Found it." He smirked to himself.

No! Hell no! I left! I gave her back to him! What did they want with him? I don't know how to make it work. I already told them that! Holy shit!

"I don't know what you're talking about. That was just a fling, feelings from that body I was stuck in..." Leave him out of this! I will destroy you!

"That's not what Aro said. He mentioned that the name might get you moving a little faster on this." He was still smiling. "He will find this Edward...Demetri has nothing else going on these days..."

No! He can't! I'm here! I'm trying! Are you really trying though, Iris? Yes. No...I have nothing to try for. I don't want to help them. But what if you're not helping them. What if you could control it? Use it to your advantage. That's what they want from you anyway...yes. I had to control this. I had to try. I had to warn them.

Ok, Iris. Focus. Really focus. You need to save them all. If they go after...him...they'll go after them all. You've read these books. Stop being stupid. You know that you can't change the story that much. Hiding here—literally and figuratively—isn't doing anything. You're just running again.

I searched through every corner of my mind. When I hit a wall, I tried to go around it. I pushed, prodded, and knocked, but nothing. Ok. Ok. Ok. Think think think...imagine the light. Imagine it right before you. Imagine you're surrounded by it. Recall the voices...he said you had to find yourself. I have to find myself. What did that mean? I found myself already. This is ridiculous. Shit.

Wait, what did all of these experiences have in common? I decided I was broken. I came here initially to heal. But how would the Volturi heal me? Physically they made me stronger, but let's imagine that I chose to come here. Of all the places in the universe, any universe, why would my mind choose here? And how did I get back here? Maybe it's not what all three "drifting" experiences had in common, But what these two in particular had in common. I didn't come here to heal. I had only been suffering since I got here. I came here to suffer. Hadn't I already admitted that I wouldn't mind being in hell? I believed I needed to suffer. In the hospital, I didn't save the woman...the peaceful woman who was too young to die that way. In Forks I stole Bella Swan's life...her happy ending. I was punishing myself. And when I went into Bella Swan's body? I was at my weakest. I was feeling hopeless. I wanted to find my happy ending. Yes! I remember now. I wanted to have my own happily ever after.

So that was the key. It wasn't about what was happening around me, or even what I wanted or needed. It was simply what I felt I deserved. My psycho-emotional state at the time would determine where I went. With that, I saw the light.

"Wha—" I heard Felix call, but I ignored him. I only had one chance at this.

"Welcome back, Iris." The female voice announced. They must get really bored here, wherever we were.

"Thank you. Sorry, I can't stay and chat."

"It's fine. I'm neither happy, nor sad about it." She responded robotically.

"Total indifference." I stated.

"Exactly." The man answered.

These guys were strange. And with that, I saw darkness again.

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	35. FullPotential

Ch. 35 Full Potential

"Mmm babe. Yeah keep going..."

"Emmett?" I opened my eyes to see the hulking vampi—Ohmygod! "Holy Shit!"

"What babe? What is it?"

"Stop calling me babe! What's your problem? Put some pants on, pervert!" I ran to the back of the bathroom door and grabbed a robe.

"What? Babe!" He was wide eyed and still very much naked.

"Ahhhhhhh!! Ew! Ewwwwwwwwwahhh!" I dashed from the room as quickly as I could. Why the hell did I choose Rosalie? Why, Iris? Because she was the first one I thought of...? But why?! Ugh! I'm never going to get the image of pantless Emmett from my vampire mind. It's seared there for eternity. Shit!!

Once downstairs I tried to refocus. You're on a mission, don't get side tracked. You don't have long before Felix runs off to his big bad master to tell on you. Dumbass snitch.

"Carlisle? Esme? Alice? Jasper?" I called everyone except the one person I wanted to see. I couldn't bring myself to say his name. I wasn't sure I could see him, especially not if he was with...her.

"Rose?" Carlisle responded first with a look of confusion and concern.

"Babe! What the hell?" Emmett was coming down the stairs behind me. I shuddered at the memory of moments ago. Bleh!

"I'm not Rose. It's me, Iris. I don't have time, so please listen. The Volturi might come after you. It's all my fault, but I had to warn you. I'm going to try to keep them away, but I had to make sure you knew that it was a possibility."

"Iris, what happened? We've been looking for y—" Carlisle was explaining as he walked forward me.

"Don't. You can't. I'm fine. I miss you all so much. Please give my regards to—"

"Iris." Edward was frozen in the doorway. He looked to be in a state of shock. I couldn't say I was fairing much better.

"—Edward." I finished my sentence. Oh shit. He's as beautiful as ever. Don't break down now, Iris. You're so close.

"Iris?" It was her, Bella. It was odd to see the body I had spent so much time in from this perspective. She was smiling. She was happy. Good. I was so glad that I wasn't able to cry in that moment and that Jasper wasn't here. He didn't need to feel this pain I was feeling. They were together. It's what you wanted, Iris.

"I'm sorry, I have to go. I've been away too long. I wish you both all the happiness." I tried to keep a smile on my face as I focused on the light which had returned to my sight.

"Iris! No! Wait—" Edward called and reached for Rosalie's arm.

The sound of his voice saying my name once again nearly broke me, but I had to get back. I had to for him.

"Iris, welcome back."

"No time."

"Ok."

It was dark again.

"What was that? Did you do it?" Felix asked suspiciously.

"I learned to make it work." I shrugged, feigning indifference. You warned him. You did what you had to. You saw he was happy. Now you have another job to do. Keep them safe. Save him. He is everything. "You should be happy. Mission accomplished."

"And where did you go?"

"That's between Aro and myself." I said with as much confidence as I could. Shit. Aro. Shit shit shit.

"Fine. Let's get back. Aro will be pleased." This was the first time I had seen Felix almost smile. He turned to leave, and I know he expected me to follow, so I did. Shit. Now what? Aro would know where I went. I did it on a whim, but now what?

We walked back down the winding hallways that led to the atrium. There was a whole underground system to travel through here to help us avoid sunlight. I noticed pretty early on that I only ever took the same ones over and over, to my hole, excuse me, my "chambers," and back for meal time. This time was different. This time we had "happy news." Shitity shit shit.

"Iris and Felix, It's not quite feeding day yet. To what do I owe the pleasure?" Aro's smile was pleasant. He loved playing host.

"Master, she did it." Felix reached his hand out toward Aro like an eager puppy waiting for his treat.

Aro's hand met Felix's and he closed his eyes and smiled. "Ah, yes. So she has. Iris, I'm so proud. I knew you could do it!" Aro was beaming. He was coming toward me, and I suddenly formed a plan. How quickly could I "drift?" I was about to find out.

I saw the light, and I lunged for it.

"Wel-"

Then it was dark.

I was Aro. Ok, get this right, Iris. I saw myself standing, totally void of emotion, and it was odd. I reached Aro's hand out and tried to make the action as natural as possible while I grasped my body's stiff hand. "Ah, yes. So very proud." I said in my best imitation of Aro.

I saw the light again.

"Iri—"

It was dark.

"Thank you, Master." I spoke from my own body. Aro stared blankly for just a second before shaking his head. I had never seen what happened when I left a body, so I don't know what I just did. Did he fall for it? Was he angry? Was I fast enough that he would never know?

"What happened?" Aro's eyes narrowed.

"What do you mean, Master?" Play dumb, Iris.

"You travelled inside of me." He accused. Shit. Shit shit.

"Yes." He's going to find out anyway. Holy shit.

"Wonderful!" He was clapping. The crazy Jackass was clapping his hands! What the hell?

"Thank you..." I trailed off, confused.

"What better way to prove yourself than to show me, personally? How clever!" Right...that's what I was doing...I was just showing you my ability..."Oh happy day! We will do such great things together, young Iris!" He was giddy with joy, like a small child on Christmas morning.

"May I be excused? It takes a toll every time I do that." Play it cool. Don't freak out. He'll be suspicious. Keep calm...

"Yes. Yes, my dear one. But don't be long. Such great plans..." He was almost speaking to himself.

I ran as quickly as possible back to my chambers, and closed the door. I knew I was being followed, but I needed a moment. I was freaking out. What the hell should I do now? I needed to come up with a plan. I couldn't avoid Aro forever. He had to have plans for me after a year and a half of me being here. What the hell should I do? I can't run. Demetri will find me. I can't drift or else they'll know, and they would have my body here...what would happen if they destroyed my body? Wait, they can't destroy me. They need me.

And what if there were a way for me to travel with my body. Could I do it? I had done it when I came to this world obviously, and I was only a human then...but what about Demetri? He would track me. But what if...no, I couldn't...could I? What if...Demetri...didn't exist? Oh that's dark, Iris...but it's necessary.

This is why the Volturi wanted me so badly. This is why they wanted my power, but they couldn't control me. I was only now realizing my full potential. The potential that Aro had seen so long ago.

I sat up, eager to get my plan underway. I had to get this right. They would know soon what I was up to, so I had to be fast. I could hear Chelsea in the hall outside my door. Ok, so her first.

I laid back and found the light. Then it was dark almost instantly. I was getting faster, stronger.

I could see through Chelsea's eyes now. I began to run. It didn't matter where. I just had to get her far enough away that I could make a break for it and get a head start.

I ran for nearly fifteen minutes into the Italian country side. Bye Chels. It's been fun.

Light. Dark.

I was back in my body. I ran out of the room. No one was around yet. They didn't know, but they would soon. Chelsea had to be on her way back. I ran in the opposite direction for another fifteen minutes. It was night. I stopped when I reach a quaint Italian village. Find somewhere to hide, Iris. Anywhere...

I scanned the abandoned street, void of all light. There was an open field, and on the far side, sat a run down looking barn. I made a dash for it. When I reached it, I sniffed the air. No humans had been here for long enough that I couldn't scent even one. Perfect. I climbed up the side into a window that opened to a loft. I laid down and covered myself in old hay that was lying around. Goodbye body. I'll see you soon, I hope.

Light. Dark.

I was in Demetri. He was standing with Aro. Aro was frantic.

"You must find her, Demetri. Go. Now."

"Yes, master. I sense her nearby. I won't be long. I can handle it alone." I avoided Aro's hand and tried to play it off like I was just eager to do my job.

"Yes, go now." He urged. Bye bye, crazy jackass.

I turned and ran. I was overjoyed that I had gotten this far, but now for the hard part. I had to get to the airport. I had to get to the ones I knew would be all too eager to destroy him. The wolves.

There's no going back now. I have to make them safe. I have to save him, Edward. He is everything.

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	36. SuchAnIdiot

Long winded explanation to follow, skip ahead for story! *

I'm kind of loving the controversy that the last chapter caused. Haha! Ok, but for real, I hope this chapter answers some of your questions.

I am only writing this story from Iris and Bella's POV, so I'm trying to work within the rule that the reader will only know what the character knows at the time you are reading from her perspective. I try to write with those limitations in mind and also I try to use reasoning that the great Stephenie Meyer has offered for times when certain character's abilities have "failed."

No one expected Iris to "drift" out of Bella's body, and when they realized she was gone, Alice had never seen Iris in her own body. Remember that like many other characters with abilities in the story, Alice has to get a "feel" for the person she's trying to see or else she can't see them very well, and I think Iris's drifting would affect Alice's ability to keep tabs on her if she didn't know where/who Iris would be next. Keep in mind that in the original series Alice didn't start really seeing Aro/the Volturi (sans Edward) regularly until "Eclipse" which happened AFTER she met Aro at the end of "New Moon." Let poor Alice catch up!

Iris also has very limited contact with Aro on purpose. You guys have seen the few times in a year and a half when he has made contact with her. He's a smart, resourceful man. There's a reason he has been in charge of the vampire world for so long. After looking into Iris's mind, he knows all the secrets of the Twilight Saga, and he certainly knows how to mess with Alice's visions.

Stick around for more answers and keep the questions rolling! Thanks for all the love and interest guys!

Happy Reading!

Ch. 36 Such an Idiot

(BPOV)

"Alice, can you see her?!" Edward was pacing back and forth while raking his hands through his hair.

"I'm searching, but it's not clear. I don't understand what I'm seeing." Alice's voice was as frantic as Edward's. They truly loved Iris.

Suddenly Edward turned to Alice. "What was that? A barn? That looked like the little village outside of Sienna. What's she doing?"

"The visions don't make sense. I saw her with Aro, then she was in a dark room. Then nothing. Then she was in a barn, and now nothing. I can't tell, Edward. I'm so sorry."

"Why haven't you been able to see her, Alice?! We checked with the Volturi so many times. It's been a year and a half. How could you not see!" Edward was slowly inching closer and closer to Alice as he accused her.

"Watch it, Ed. I'll take that arm off you if you touch her." Jasper said in a low voice as he moved to block his mate.

But Alice wasn't phased as she bounced around Jasper and moved closer to Edward with her own finger pointing toward him. "It's not an exact science, Edward! I told you I don't think she has been making many decisions until lately...and I HAVE been watching Aro, but I didn't see her!"

"Why not?" Edward was yelling now.

"I don't know!" Alice could be just as intimidating when she wanted to be.

"Edward, Alice has been trying to help. She loves Iris. We all do. Please refrain from making accusations that suggest otherwise." Carlisle attempted to regain control of his adoptive children.

"What do we do? I'm going. I have to go." Edward was pacing again.

"Son, Wait. You don't know what you're going into. Iris came here to warn us of Volturi involvement. We need to be smart about this. The Volturi are not a group we want to invite into a war." Carlisle reasoned.

"She could be in danger, Damnit! It's Iris! She's not exactly known for telling us when she's in trouble. Every time she thinks she knows best, and then she almost gets herself killed in the process!" Edward looked on the verge of a breakdown.

"What about—" No one was listening to me. I was just a human, after all.

"She left you, Edward. Why go after her? She's just bringing more problems to us..." Rosalie seemed totally unaffected by any of this.

"Rose!" Alice and Esme gasped together, and Edward growled at her.

"You're more than welcome to stay uninvolved, Rosalie." Edward seethed and spoke her name like a curse word.

"What? All she could think about when she was here a bit ago was avoiding Edward and getting back to her training session with Felix." Rosalie said casually as she filed her nails. I was totally amazed at how cool she could be about all of this. Edward only growled again in response.

"Emmett, why don't you and Rosalie go hunt?" Esme suggested.

"I just went yesterday...oh, ok. Come on, Babe." Rosalie just glared at Emmett. She was still mad at him for not knowing it wasn't her with him earlier.

"Why don't you just go help look for Iris, BABE?" She stormed out the back door, and Emmett followed after.

"Babe! I'm sorry!"

I was suddenly very glad that Jake and I do not use pet names.

"Ugh! I hate these blind spots! Why can't I see her? I just keep seeing a flash of a guy in a cloak at Pisa International. He was alone. I don't understand though. I'm searching for Iris, and I just get that. Then nothing...a total blank." Alice's brow furrowed.

"It's the wolves." All heads shot up and looked over to me.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked.

"The blanks. I think Iris is drifting, and she's in the man now. That's why you keep seeing him. The blank spots are the wolves. She's coming here." I finally explained my theory.

"The wolves..." Alice repeated in amazement at my suggestion.

"Why would she come here like that? Why the wolves?" Edward asked no one in particular. "Wait, I think I recognize the man from Carlisle's memories of his time with the Volturi. It's Demetri, the tracker."

"Iris is in Demetri?" Carlisle questioned then appeared to be in deep thought.

"If Bella is right, yes." Edward said then began pacing again. "Why isn't she coming to us?" He was almost whispering to himself.

"She kept thinking that she had to protect you guys before she left me." I answered even though I don't think he was really expecting an answer.

"That's ridiculous. She knows we can take care of ourselves. She's the one who read the books. She should know—" Edward had a look of disapproval and incredulity as he began.

"In the books, I had to use my shield to save everyone in the end because no one else could stand against the Volturi and survive alone..." I interjected. I recalled from Iris's memory the ending of the series, and it frightened me that if I were ever changed to a vampire that I would have control of such a powerful ability. "Maybe she thinks something like that might happen in reality?"

"Argh! She's such a hypocrite!" Edward was suddenly angry, waving his hands as he stomped around aimlessly. "She told me so many times not to make decisions for her, yet here she is doing the same thing!" He stopped and looked to his sister. "Can you still see Demetri, Alice?"

"Yes, he is in the terminal now. I think—yes, he's coming to Seattle, and his flight leaves in ten minutes."

"So he—she, if we're correct—will be here in just over twelve hours. I'm leaving." Edward disappeared upstairs and reappeared by the front door.

"Jazz and I are coming too!" Alice chirped.

"Me too." I said, and they all looked at me.

"No, Bella. It's not safe, and I doubt that Jacob will want you gallivanting around with a bunch of vampires anyway." Edward offered.

"Fine, but I want to help somehow." Edward narrowed his eyes, probably expecting an argument from me, but if I learned nothing else from Iris's memories, I learned that my constant unnecessary involvement in things usually put everyone else in more danger, including myself. I was really trying to be helpful. However, I hated always feeling like the weakest link around all these supernatural people.

"You will be most helpful by staying put, so we don't have to worry so much about you too, dear. Stay with Jacob." Esme said as she placed her hand on my cheek in a motherly way.

"I'll take you home now." Carlisle offered.

"Don't worry about it. I'll call Jake." I sighed. Being human sucked sometimes.

•PTaT•

This flight was lasting forever. I had considered jumping out and swimming the rest of the way just to feel like I was doing something, but I knew that would actually take longer and it would be rather conspicuous to see a passenger jump out of the plane mid-Atlantic.

Everyone smelled so good, and I was so thirsty. I hadn't practiced spending much time around humans, but thankfully Demetri had otherwise I wouldn't have made it this far without sinking my teeth into—Nope. Stop thinking about it, Iris. Not helping...

"Attention passengers, flight 2264 Pisa to Seattle will be approaching the gate for landing in about fifteen minutes. Please buckle your seatbelts."

Finally. My God this is why I don't like flying. Ok, Iris what now? Get to La Push. I'm running. I can't do the whole car rental thing. I've got to be fast. Do I explain to the wolves or just attack? Attack. It's faster. This is going to suck so bad. I can't imagine the pain of being shredded to pieces by their teeth...it can't be any worse than the times my own arms and legs were ripped off though. I just have to be faster than them at exiting the body before they kill him. I don't know what happens if the person dies while I'm in them. Do I die too? Doesn't matter. I'm not going to find out.

I was so engrossed in my own mind that I didn't realize we had landed already. I stood quickly to exit before anyone else could clog up the walkway.

"Thank you for flying with Delta." The blonde flight attendant said as I nodded and pushed past her out to the terminal.

Ok, where's the exit? I hadn't actually been to the airport since I had taken a different form of traveling last time I crossed international waters.

I was walking in the direction that the signs said the exit should be when two hands grasped me from behind, and I resisted until I recognized the scents.

"Not so fast." Edward spoke in a low voice.

"Hi, Iris!" Alice was as bubbly as ever. "This is really weird seeing you this way..."

"Iris." Jasper nodded from her side.

"You found me." I forgot to account for Alice following me. I knew Edward could hear my thoughts now, so I tried my best to focus on the present as I turned to look at him.

"What are you up to? Why won't you let us help?" He was hurt. I had hurt him again.

"Where's Bella?" I asked casually. She could make him happy.

"You really want to do this here?" Why was he so mad? I thought he would be thanking me by now for restoring his happy ending. Maybe he was mad that I was getting involved again, but I had to stop them. I had to keep them safe.

"You thought wrong." Oh this was going to be annoying for him to hear my thoughts.

"Well, at least now I might finally understand what the hell you were thinking." He answered my thoughts again.

"Not here. There's no time." I spoke aloud and jerked my head toward the exit. I had luckily timed it so that it was dark out.

Once we reached the edge of the woods, I turned to explain. "You have to kill me."

"What?" Edward sounded like he was choking.

"Iris..." Jasper started.

"Sorry, not me me. This me. Demetri. Take him out, now. I was going to get the wolves to do it, but since you're already here...please. He'll find you. This is your only chance."

"I won't kill you!" Edward's face was horror struck.

"I'll drift back to my body before obviously!" I said in exasperation. Good God, man! Just do it!

"That's brilliant." Jasper said with an excited smile. It was the most emotion I had ever seen out of him. Alice seemed troubled though.

Edward was staring at me, calculating. "Fine, but explain everything now." Edward's face was unreadable.

"Explain what? Kill him and they can't find you." Duh. Keep up! I've got to go!

"No, everything." He looked mad again. "I want to hear it straight from you." Oh, he's very angry.

"Edward—"

"Tell me, Iris! Tell me why you left?" He demanded.

"I couldn't stay in Bella when I knew she was there..."

"No, but you could have told me what you were planning. Why did you leave?" His anger was slowly dissipating and shifting to desperation. "Why did you leave me?"

"You have Bella..." I started.

"Why is it always back to Bella? Why can't we just have this relationship to ourselves?" What? He's with Bella now. I saw them. Was he wanting some kind of sister wife situation here?

"Because it wasn't supposed to be me! I was an imposter. I lived a whole other life, and I was supposed to die. It sucks, but Bella? She was just dreaming that night, and I fell into her body, took over, and she was gone just like that. Every time I looked at Charlie, and he looked at me with so much fatherly love, I remembered what I took from him. He deserved to see his little girl blossom into who she was supposed to be, and she was supposed to be with you, Edward. She was supposed to marry you, have sex with you, give birth to an amazing little girl for you, turn into a vampire, and run off into the sunset with you." My voice broke as I continued on my tangent. "I'm just here, existing in a life that isn't supposed to be mine. I love you more than anything in any universe, but I'm not supposed to be here. She is..." Everything. She is your everything. She will continue to be your everything, Edward, when I stop them. You can have everything.

The more I thought about everything that had happened, the more I felt like a real villain. Survivor's guilt is what they call it when you are one of the last remaining people in a tragedy, but what is it called when you are the one who unintentionally destroyed it all to start with?

Edward placed his hands on either side of my face so I had nowhere to look but into his eyes. "Iris, I don't want Bella that way. I'm not with Bella, and I never have been. She is with Jacob, and she's very happy with him. But I want you. I have you. You are everything to me. You are my life. You are my reason to continue being in this world. I've never been happier in all of my existence than when I am with you. Please, just let me love you. Be happy with my eternal devotion to you!" What?

"What?" What?

"You are my mate. You are my soul. You are my everything." He said slowly, reverently.

Shit. What have I done?

"Guys this is really sweet and all, but please don't start making out. That would just be freaky in Demetri's body." Emmett popped out of the trees.

"You love who you love, Emmett." I said in a dreamy voice as I stared into Edward's eyes. He loved me. He loves you, Iris. YOU.

"I love you too, but you need to kill me now." I suddenly remembered where we were. We're losing time. I need to go!

"Wait, what?" Emmett asked. He had missed the whole explanation from before.

"What's the plan?" Jasper was in military mode.

"I'm going to take down the Volturi." I smirked.

"Dude. Can you do that?" Emmett was looking at me with an expression between awe and disbelief. Oh if he only knew...

"Can they stop me? They can't stop what they can't touch..." I countered. "They wanted control. They tried their best to gain that control over me, but they failed. Now I'm going to show them what happens when you try to control something unstoppable." My voice had grown dark. I finally sounded like a vampire.

"Freaky, Iris. Good luck with that, Eddy." Emmett laughed as he clapped his brother on the shoulder. Edward only smirked.

"Kill me!" Hurry up!

"Wait, how will I find you? I'm not going to live without you." The desperation was back in his voice. "You're not alone anymore." You're such an idiot, Iris. How could you not see how much he needs you? How much you need him...

"We'll figure this out. I'll contact you soon. I promise. Just hurry please! I need to figure out what's going on in Italy, and I can't leave Demetri until I know that you have things under control..."

Emmett moved behind me to put his arms around my upper body, securing me tightly to him, so I couldn't move. Jasper moved almost as closely to secure my legs. Alice positioned herself in a crouch, preparing to fight if necessary, and Edward stood in front of me, brushing his hand down my cheek.

"I will find you if you don't return to me soon. You may be unstoppable, but don't forget that I move fast." He winked. "I'll see you soon, my love."

"I love you." I smiled and fought through the rising knot in my throat.

"So freaking weird guys..." Emmett murmured.

Light. Dark.

"Hello, Iris. Did you have a fun trip?"

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	37. ChargedAndDangerous

Ch. 37 Charged and Dangerous

"Laurent?" Holy Hell. Where am I? I had my back pressed against the wall, and it looked like I was in some kind of cave. What the...? "What's going on?"

He ignored my confusion. "Did you know that everything in this world must follow the laws of physics?"

What? Why is he talking about this? He's lost his mind. Can vampires lose their mind? If so, I'm in trouble. "Very interesting...but uh, I'm kind of busy right now..." I tried to move, but I couldn't. It was like I was being held back by twenty Emmett sized vampires. Shit! What did he do? I tried to drift, but nothing. Holy fucking shit. "What did you do?!"

He must have seen the anxiety on my face, and he laughed lightly. "As a human, I took a special interest in physics. The longer I have been in this existence, I have maintained interest in the topic. I find electromagnetism especially compelling. Did you ever study the subject much?"

"No..." Where is this going...?

"Electromagnetism is the force that keeps atomic matter together. It is what keeps you from...slipping through the cracks so to speak. It is the reason that you are not floating around as separate atoms rather than maintaining a solid shape."

"Cool, man, now what the hell does this have to do with anything??" Let me fucking go!

"Because of my enthusiasm in the matter as a human, I developed a curious side effect after I was changed. I can see and alter other things' electronic fields. It's a rather boring ability, not much use for it besides a shock of static electricity every now and again—Kate's ability is very similar actually, but anyway I digress. However, this ability of mine has become very useful as of late. I noticed when I met you that very first time with the Cullens, that your electron field is charged where most humans have a general neutrality to them. I didn't know what to make of it then. In the last year, I have tried a thousand ways to get to Isabella Swan, not realizing that it wasn't you."

"What the fuck are you going on about?! Let me go!"

"Well, you see, I didn't realize that you had this little gift of disappearing until I saw Isabella a little while ago, and I noticed her field was different. Her scent was different too, and, of course, the wolves and the Cullens were all referring to her as 'Bella.' I came to the conclusion that I was missing something. Then I overheard our friend Eleazar speaking to his mate about someone with an amazing ability...a 'drifter' he called this someone."

"Ok, great, you figured it out. Kudos to you. Can I go now?" My God!

"No, no. Let me finish. There is a point to this. I figured out what happened, yes, but then I needed to find you."

"Why?" I knew this guy was fucking psycho.

"To destroy you, of course." He answered simply. Oh, to kill me? Of course. Why would I think any differently?

Shit. "What? Why? Let me go!" How is he holding me here?!

"You killed James and Victoria. The coven may have been the ones to physically end them, but your involvement is what killed them. They were my mates, and you destroyed them!" Huh? Fuck. I can't even right now. This is some bullshit. What the fuck was going on in this universe?? I guess that makes sense of why he trailed around with them all the time. Ok, Twilight. You get the points this round.

"What about Irina?" How many mates can one man have?

"She kept me distracted for a while as I tried to get past the Cullens, but there's no comparison to James and Victoria." How sweet. Ugh..

"So it's a mate for a mate—or two mates—then?" I sounded resigned. Of course this had to happen sometime in the plot. I should have chosen a Dr. Seuss book to fall into.

"You're a fast learner." There was a smile in his voice.

"Can I ask you something first?" You know, before you kill me...? Fuck. Sorry Edward...

"I don't see how one question could hurt."

"Why can't I move or drift?" I was still trying as we spoke, but nothing.

"Oh, forgive me, I didn't tell you the most important part. Let's see, where did I stop? Oh right, your field. So your field is charged. That is, you carry fewer electrons with you and apparently you can alter your level of attractiveness—to electrons." Thanks for making sure I knew that I couldn't get any better looking...

He continued, "After thinking and thinking about what Eleazar said and figuring out that it was you he spoke of, I tried to make a list all the differences about you that I knew. I came to the conclusion that your electron field had to play a part in your ability..." he appeared pensive for a second. "I found you about a month ago. When Eleazar mentioned you, he also said that the Volturi would be after you, so I came to Italy in search of you. I found it rather difficult to remain inconspicuous while also attempting to track Volturi property." Hey now, they don't own me! "But that's where your friend comes in. I've been mentoring him for several months now. Matt? Could you come here?" Matt? McDouche? What the fucking hell? How many sub-plots can this story create?

"Hello Iris. Nice to finally meet you...as you." Yup. It was him and now he was red-eyed as the rest of us. Shit.

"Ok, I give up. What the hell is he doing here?" I would have been shaking my head at this point, but I couldn't move. This is like the never-ending story.

"I changed him on accident when I was feeding and the wolves surprised me. I came back to collect him once I had lost them. I had left the Denali's at that point, and I was rather lonely. Fate intervened, though, because he has a very convenient ability."

Just kill me already. "What's that?" This would never stop. He was going to kill me from boredom.

"He can subconsciously follow anyone of his liking without detection." So he's the ultimate stalker? Holy shit. Of course McDouche is a fucking vampire stalker. Fucking creep.

"So he's been tracking me?" This was getting ridiculous.

"Yes, and he helped me piece together what I was missing by following you place to place these few last weeks. You are altering your field—neutralizing it—when you drift. It allows you to defy the laws of physics, and lose your electromagnetism momentarily, so that you can move seamlessly across time, space, and matter. It's amazing. I've never imagined such a thing to exist." What? "But you see, I can do something similar, but not as powerfully. But where it was relatively ineffective before, it's especially advantageous here because I can keep you from leaving by counteracting your ability. You're immobilized." Good God.

I knew it. This is some Star Wars, sci-fi bullshit just like I said before when those stupid voices were taking about neutralizing...blah blah blah...I didn't sign up for this. How do I compete with that? I'm going to die because I wasn't the right kind of fucking nerd. Shitity fucking bullshit!

"So...I'm about to die?" The defeat was evident in my tone.

"Yes, I'm sorry, but it's only right." He almost sounded sympathetic. Psycho.

"And Matt?"

"He said I could kill him when he's done with you. It's too bad, though, cuz you're super hot. Like I'd take you in a second." He was just as charming as ever...

Why is my life like this? Who did I piss off in my last life? Why?? I finally find the love of my life, and I'm ready to get over myself and spend eternity with him and this happens. Edward won't even know how I died. He's on the other side of the world. No ones coming to save me. Shit.

Just then, I heard the sound of rock crumbling, fists pounding through the wall. There was no way that the Cullens had come across the pond that quickly, so there were only a couple of people who would want to find me...here it goes.

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	38. SoScrewed

Ch. 38 So Screwed

Ok think, Iris. You've just gotten your life back in order kind of, and you're not going down like this. Think think think...maybe if I can appeal to McDouche's male sensibility...

"Matt, I've missed you. I can't believe you didn't call me after that drive home. I hung out with the Cullens trying to make you jealous, but you didn't even seem to care..." I saved your life, jackass! You better fall for this! "Didn't you miss me even a little bit?" I exaggerated a frown as I continued to hear the sound of rock crumbling about a mile or so from where we were.

"What?" He looked incredulous.

"Well, I mean, I don't know how Bella treated you after I left, but I always thought you were pretty...hot." Gross. Ew. Trash. It's all trash. I looked down in feigned embarrassment. This act probably didn't translate well anyway because I was glued in this one position...

"I...uh..." he looked to Laurent and back at me.

"She's lying! The Volturi are coming, and she just wants out! Kill her!" Laurent whined like the bitch ass he was as he backed up. You've gotta fight, man. Why are you so scared of McDouche anyway? Kill me yourself. What's up with him? I mean, not that I'm ready to die, but seriously...what the hell?

"No, no, no...Get me out of here, and I'll show you just how much I have missed you..." I smiled at him. Come on, McDouche! "I'm very good friends with the leader of the Volturi. You let me handle them...so I can handle...you." I giggled a little bit for emphasis. Barf. It would be a miracle if I got out of this.

"Well..." McDouche almost smiled, and looked like he would blush if he could. Gah, he's really just a kid—a douchey kid, but a kid none the less—who ran into the wrong vampire...Maybe the Cullens could reform him after this, if I could actually get us out that is...I heard the crashing of rocks getting louder.

"Please, Matty. Don't let him separate us just because he's sour about his friends! His friends tried to kill you too, you know. I saved you back when I was Bella. I would never let you die." I was only partially lying. I did save him, and I wouldn't have let another human die back then...ironic now, I know, with all the blood I had shed...ugh...shut up, brain! I don't want to face my own sense of morality right now...

"Matt, she's manipulating you! Stick to the plan. We kill her, and you kill me. It's the only way to end this! All she does is kills. You saw what she just did with the Cullens." Laurent was looking kind of desperate and angry. Aww poor psycho vampire might not get to avenge his mates who didn't give a shit about him...

"It was you? I woke up in the hospital and thought I had lost my mind when I was talking about vampires and no one believed me...You saved me?" Matt was warming up to me for sure.

"Yes, I did, and Laurent didn't even care about you. He ran off to go see his girlfriend up north. I was there for you!" My voice sounded a little bit more frantic than I meant it to, but I could hear the Volturi getting even closer yet.

McDouche turned on Laurent who looked to be concentrating very hard on me. I moved my thumb a little. Oh, Laurent isn't strong enough. Hah! I could get out of this soon, but would it be soon enough? We need to distract him more. The crumbling sounded like it was only a hundred yards out now. I could see the light starting to peek through in my mind as I continued to fight to drift.

Laurent was holding the sides of his head and staring intently at me as he backed against the opposite wall, McDouche approaching him in a crouch. "No! Don't come for me. She's lying to you! I changed you! I saved you from that awful human existence! I showed you your way in this life!" He was screaming.

"I didn't have a horrible human existence! I didn't want to be like you. You just wanted to feed on me and leave me!"

"Get him, Matty! I can make this nightmare he started into a dream for you..." Was that too much? I egged him on as his back was to me and winked at Laurent who continued to glare at me. He looked like he would be sweating if he could. Apparently he couldn't hold me off and kill me at the same time. He brought McDouche along to help finish me off. Pfft.

Matt lunged and Laurent darted to his right. As he did so, I gained mobility of my whole arm, and the light grew from a pinpoint to a quarter sized opening. Yes!

"Perfect, Matty. Show him who's the boss! He sucks ass just like your dad did!" I waited to see if I had struck a chord. I had just thrown that one out there blindly as a motivator. I just assumed he must have daddy issues from the way he behaved. He seemed to be over compensating for something. I know that's how I would have been probably if I hadn't gone to therapy for years.

Matt lunged again, this time making contact, and hooked Laurent around his waist, pulling him to the ground. I could now move my entire upper body as Laurent lost focus. Ok ok ok...almost!

"He wants you dead too, Matty. He knows the Volturi won't protect you. He wants to keep us apart, so you'll die as miserable as he is!" I kind of felt bad about how much I was working this...My manipulation might give this kid a complex...should I tone it down a bit? No, get out first, and clean up later. Right.

The crumbling was ten feet away. They were coming from just left of where Laurent and Matt were fighting. Shit shit shit.

Matt took a chunk out of Laurent's neck, and he hollered in pain. Laurent clawed back at him, but Matt dodged him. His newborn strength was working in his favor as he held the older vampire down. If I were still human, I wouldn't have been able to keep up with how quickly they were moving as they attacked and defended themselves. Matt still had the upper hand, though.

"Take his head off!" I yelled as the rock started to crumble from the wall behind them. I could move every part of myself except my feet which felt cemented in place. The light was so bright and close now in my mind, but I was still just too far away to reach for it.

Matt suddenly took Laurent by the shoulders, and plunged his teeth into Laurent's neck, but he wasn't fast enough. Felix burst through the wall at that exact moment, grabbed Matt from behind and took off his head as Jane tossed a lit match where his body landed. This was not their first time...

"Matt!" I screeched. Oh God. I could only stare in shock for a second before I realized that I needed to move, but Laurent must have been refocused just as Jane came through the opening, just behind Felix. I was trapped again, and the light shut off to me immediately. Holy fucking shit.

"What do we have here?" Jane asked. I couldn't take my eyes off of Matt. His body was still twitching in the flames like it was trying to find its way back to his head which Felix picked up and tossed toward the fire.

Jane and Felix looked to me, pressed against the wall and then focused on Laurent. They must have heard everything happening before they broke through the cave walls.

"Please, don't harm me. I can stop her, control her. She can't move as long as I'm here!" What? I thought you were ready to die, bitch ass! Now you're all concerned about saving yourself?!

"You're such a coward!" I yelled furiously. Shit this is so bad. Before, I didn't care. I wanted to die, but now that I knew Edward only wanted me, I had let myself hope. Laurent was crushing all of my dreams with this ridiculous vendetta against me. James and Victoria didn't even care for him. He was probably just another one of their games, a form of entertainment. Shit shit shit!

Jane's power hit me like a Mack truck, and I couldn't help the scream that escaped as I writhed on the floor. She would pay for this if I could ever get out. The pain stopped suddenly. She looked at me with hate in her eyes.

"Hmm." Jane responded as she calmly looked back and forth between Laurent and I. "Aro will be very happy to see you again, Iris. He's been very concerned about you. I don't think he's very happy about what you did either..." she was smiling. I think Jane would be the happiest of all to see me dead. Fuck. She looked to Laurent who stood with his hands outstretched lamely like he wasn't sure how to react. Then she looked back to her partner. "Come, Felix. Let's go tell Master what we've found. Something tells me he will find this very interesting." She smiled even wider. Super fuck.

Felix snorted and snatched me up roughly and threw me over his shoulder, and then shoved Laurent's shoulder in a "you have no choice but to come with us" type way. I couldn't find it in me to scream anymore. There was no point. I couldn't fight, couldn't run, and couldn't drift. I was trapped, and I was screwed. Please run, Edward. Don't come for me. Please.

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	39. NoWords

Ch. 39 No Words

(BPOV)

"Hi, Bella!" Alice swung the door open with a smile just before I could knock. Then she frowned. "Jacob Black." She wasn't as friendly when Jake walked up behind me, but she didn't hiss. It was a work in progress.

"Hey Alice. Is Edward around? I just wanted to check on him." The Cullens had just arrived back from SeaTac. I couldn't imagine the emotional rollercoaster he was feeling from thinking Iris was gone to her showing up first as his sister and then as a member of the Volturi. We still didn't even know the whole story of how she wound up there to begin with.

"Bella." Edward opened the door wider to allow Jake and me to pass. "I'm fine, better than fine really." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He was clearly stressed out.

"What is it?"

"Iris hasn't contacted us since she left, and Alice keeps seeing things."

"Seeing what?" I asked. What happened to Iris?

"Well, first she was standing in a dark place, like a cave. Then I saw Laurent. He is trying to explain something to her about her ability. She can alter the number of her electrons in the valence shells and lose her electromagnetism momentarily..."

"Laurent is with her? Why isn't she back yet?" This wasn't making sense.

"Laurent—no!" Alice gasped and Edward's head shot in her direction.

"What is it?" Jasper asked as he appeared at Alice's side.

"Alice? Edward?" Esme called from behind the group.

"Let's go NOW!" Edward shouted, and was out the door before I could even ask what had happened.

I felt a gust of wind that I guessed was the other Cullens rushing to catch Edward. I could only assume that Alice and Edward saw something bad about Iris. What could I do? I looked to Jake who shrugged looking lost and concerned too.

"Let's go back to the reservation and wait. They'll call if they need us for something." Jake said in a low voice as he pulled his arm around me tighter.

"Jake, it's Iris! We have to help!"

"There's not anything for us to do, especially not you, without knowing what's going on." He reasoned. "Don't be stupid. We'll help as soon as we hear the word. I promise." Jake had assumed the position of alpha when he phased. He said it was only natural since his great-grandfather had been Tribe leader and alpha in the last pack. I could trust what he said. He would help if the wolves could be of assistance. I sighed in resignation and allowed him to lead me back to my truck.

•PTaT•

"I'm sorry it had to come to this, Iris. I had such great plans for us together, and I believed that, with time, you might see the benefits of being here. Your gifts are too great for us to lose, but you also must pay back the debt of what you have taken, so you will be held until further decision is made for you." Sooooo I'm not dead? Or?

"My new friend, Laurent. For your help in returning what was lost to us, we have decided to offer a permanent position to you here with us at the castle. You will be assigned to help oversee Iris as she pays penance for her misbehavior. Do you accept?" Anyone who did not have much experience with the Volturi leaders might hear this and believe that Laurent really had any choice in the matter. I, however, noticed the subtle way that Aro looked to Chelsea, who I'm quite sure was not present because of her own interest in the matter. She was most likely "helping" Laurent make the—correct—decision in staying with them. Bitch. She was on my list of people to kill right after Jane and Laurent now. I don't know why her stupid powers didn't work on me, but it seemed like the more she tried to make me want to be here, the more negative I felt about it. Maybe it was just that I knew very well what she was trying to do...

"Yes, sire, I accept your gracious offer. Thank you." Laurent bowed his head.

"Wonderful. Alec, I will also be requesting your help. Would you be so kind as to escort our newest member to his and Iris's chambers?" What? Alec? Laurent? No! Shit. I guess I should have realized, but ugh! Fuckety shit!

"Of course, Master." Of course, master. Dumbass suck up! How was I ever going to get out of here??

Felix decided to bring his ugly ass along too. He slung me back over his shoulder—I still couldn't move so long as Laurent kept it up. "Am I that scary, Felix? Are you so worried about me that even with my other two wardens, you still feel the need to come along?"

He glared daggers at me before answering. "Oh, we're never letting you out of our sight ever again." He smirked.

"Better hope Laurent is well cared for. I'm not so sure that staring at me will fix anything..." I'm coming for you too, ugly face and all.

"I'm not so worried about that." He looked at Alec, and they smiled at one another. That wasn't creepy at all. Bet somethings up with them.

What was Edward doing now? I told him I would contact him soon, and Alice probably saw something...I really hope he wasn't coming here. I have no way to tell him it's not safe. What would he even say when he got here? Surely he wouldn't come in here, guns blazing, shouting about me. He usually thought things through...well, except for when it came to matters of the heart. Shit.

We reached my hole and Laurent looked incredulously at Alec and Felix.

"You expect me to stay here with her indefinitely?"

"Aro expects you to serve as you vowed him that you would." Alec answered. Damn boy. "Is there a problem?" Am I allowed to answer that? Because yes, there is actually.

"No. This is fine." Laurent answered immediately. Coward. How did he even get caught up with James and Victoria? They were creepy as hell, but at least they were all in. I mean, they fully committed to their insanity. Laurent? He probably couldn't even kill a spider if he thought it might bite him.

"I have a problem with this." I said to no one in particular.

"Of course you do, but you're not here to have an opinion. Goodbye, Iris." Alec smiled. God he and Jane were so freaky the way they looked so young. It was like the twins from "The Shining."

"Wait—" Everything was black. All was gone. I could be anywhere, anything, anyone. I couldn't feel, see, hear, taste, or smell. I was nothing. I just knew that I was.

•PTaT•

Seconds or days or years passed. I really couldn't tell you which, but suddenly I was present again—and not where I was when I was put under Alec's influence. I was standing in the back of the atrium. I still couldn't move. Laurent was to my right. I was thirsty. Very thirsty, so it must have been a longer amount of time passed rather than shorter that I had been...indisposed. Venom coated my mouth as an unnecessary reminder that it was way past time to hunt. I swallowed the bitter liquid back as it continued to pool beneath my toungue.

"Iris, hello, young one. Are you feeling better?" Aro said with a polite smile. Freak.

"Iris!" My eyes darted around wildly until they located the point where his voice came from, finally meeting the dark golden eyes I missed so much. For just a moment I was relieved. He was here with me finally. My body felt drawn to his, but it took my mind a minute to catch up. He was here. Shit. Why was he here?! No!

He was being held down by Felix, Jane standing near with a smile. Why was he here?! They can't! No! Not him!

"Edward?! No! What are you doing here? Kill me! Kill me! Leave him alone! Take me!" I was blubbering, tearlessly, suddenly unable to catch my breath as superfluous as oxygen was to us. "He didn't do anything! It was me! Take me! Please!"

"Oh, Iris, I am sorry for this. He has confessed to destroying our dear friend, Demetri. I thought you might like to say goodbye to him before he is gone too. This is a kindness on my part, so do not take advantage." Aro's voice was sharp by the last part.

Gone? Edward? No! Why? Why did I get him involved?! I should have stayed away. I should have tried harder on my own. I shouldn't have killed Demetri. I shouldn't have believed so arrogantly that I could take down a thousand year old tribunal of vampires on my own. I am not unstoppable. I am not uncontrollable.

Edward's eyes had not left mine. They were horrified, tormented. I could only assume that my own looked quite similar to his. I wanted so badly to cry, to feel some kind of release. I needed to run to him, to hold him, to be near him in his finals moments. Damnit Laurent!

"Iris, it's ok. You'll be ok. I love you. It's ok. I'm alright." How had this happened? Where was his family? Why did he turn himself in? I couldn't understand. Why? WHY?

"Edward..." I continued to sob without tears. "No...I...love you...no...Edward..."

"Love, it's ok. Please... go on. I'm ok. You'll be alright. I love you..." he sounded like a broken record. I couldn't tell if he was consoling me or trying to convince himself. Maybe both. But I was suddenly angry, and I focused back on the others in the room.

"No! Damnit! No! You're nothing but a bunch of bullies! You're all just trying to take control of anything you fear. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to hurt anyone! I came here wounded, and you tried to take advantage of me, use me. I never agreed to be here or follow your orders. I owe you NOTHING! I don't regret getting Demetri killed to make my loved ones safer because none of you are to be trusted! The only loyalty here is the false kind created by Chelsea whom you control by giving her anything she wants, and when that fails, you call in Corin to help her get her fix!"

"Iris..." Edward spoke in warning, but the words flowed from me too easily now, fueled with all my hate. It was like the shit with my parents all over again, but on a grander scale.

"It's all a joke! Everything here is a fucking JOKE! You only want power, and you will threaten others whom you deem worthy, hold their worst fears over their heads, only to oh so graciously forgive them if they agree to take a place by your side to gain that power. I won't play your games! I won't stand for it, so if you're killing him, you better kill me too or else I will remain a threat to you. Always. You should fear me! I will always be waiting for any chance to take all of you down, and believe me, the day will come that I WILL take you down, Aro. You won't even see it coming." By the end of my speech, my voice was dark, steady, and menacing. I spoke each word clearly and concisely to ensure that the full meaning of my message was understood. I was done with these games. I was no fool. I would NOT stand by idly and watch as this dysfunctional bullshit continued. The entire guard was present, and they would each hear what I had to say.

Aro's face was smooth at first, unreadable, but the longer my speech had continued, his expression grew more dangerous, anger-filled. He did not like me exposing his dirty little secrets to the guard.

"You, child, will learn your place. I feel no threat from you or anyone. If you insist on denying the security and eternity which was offered to you here, then I will have no qualm in ending your life for the crimes which you have committed." He turned back to Edward. "I am sorry to lose such talent as yours..." he trailed off, shaking his head. "It is truly a great loss, but you must pay for what you have done. Felix?"

"No!" I shrieked. No! No! NO!

Edward turned to me, looking at me, holding me captive with all the warmth, love, and adoration he had ever felt reflecting in his amber irises as he smiled peacefully. "You are everything," he whispered just before Felix ripped apart and ended the only one I had ever truly loved.

I could only stare, speechless.

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	40. NoTears

Deep calming breaths everyone. We have to help Iris out because she's not doing too good...

Ch. 40 No Tears

I wanted to vomit, but there was nothing to expel. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears to fall. Everything hurt. I thought vampires couldn't feel pain, but that was wrong. We felt it so much more intensely than any human could ever dream. Why did everything hurt so damn much? I can't breathe. He was gone. My Edward. Gone. I had no reason to be, no tether to this world. No reason to exist in any universe. He was everything. He was mine and I didn't save him. He had it correct when he said there are no words to adequately describe this feeling, or lack of feeling, or too many feelings at once. I was spinning, falling, floating, couldn't see straight. I couldn't hear. Noise. There was noise everywhere, and yet it was also silent. Something was nudging me, shoving me, pulling me, holding me in place. There was heat, a flash of light, and I was everywhere, everything, nothing. Then I was no more.

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	41. BarfFest

Ch. 41 Barf Fest

"Iris? Are you even listening to me? I swear you're the most selfish child I've ever met."

I was gasping, tears streaming down my face. "Mom?" Where was I? I looked around. I was standing at the front door of my old apartment, the one I lived in right after I had emancipated myself. And I was...human?

"Don't call me that. That title is reserved for my daughter, and you're not my daughter anymore, not since you went to court and made sure that you were free of us. Your poor father will never recover from this. You've basically killed him. Are you satisfied now?" I couldn't really pay any attention to what she was saying. Where was Edward?!

"What year is it?" What had happened? Had I really dreamed it all? No fucking way. There was too much detail. I could still remember his scent, the feel of his skin...

"Excuse me?" My Mother glared at me, and pursed her lips.

"I'm a brat. I get it. Whatever, but what year is it?" I was practically yelling at her. What the fuck was going on? How had I gotten here?

"Are you on drugs? Oh, I'll make sure Judge Cohen is aware of this. Goodbye, Iris." She turned and left, but I couldn't be bothered with her. I was more annoyed that she hadn't answered my question.

I slammed the door closed and dashed to my room. I paused when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I was young again. How young, I wasn't sure, but very young.

I continued until I reached the bed where I yanked the top drawer of the bedside table open and pulled out the copy of "Twilight" which had long ago become a permanent fixture there for my nightly reading. I skimmed through it, reading brief sections to make sure it was the same. It all looked right...Bella got to Forks ok. She met—I paused at Edward's name, running my hand along it reverently. Edward...my everything...They fell in love. I sat down on the bed, holding my face in my hands as I cried. What the hell? Why was I here? How was I here? Did the Volturi finally kill me? Was I like a cat with nine lives or something? Was this my punishment, knowledge of what true happiness felt like, but never able to attain it, and trapped forever in true grief?

I threw the book angrily on the bed and ran back to the wall where my simple bookshelf sat. I looked for "Breaking Dawn" but it wasn't there. Shit. What the hell? I always kept it there if I wasn't reading it. I have to figure this out. I have to know he's safe, if the story went back to how it was supposed to. I would deal with whatever the hell was going on with me after that. I had to know that I hadn't really gotten him killed. He had to exist somewhere. He had to.

I ran out the door, and down the street to the corner where I knew there was a convenience store. I snatched a newspaper off the stand, and searched the top for the date—April 27, 2006. There was no book in my apartment because there was no book yet. It hadn't been written. What the fuck? How did I get here, back to the "real world?" Did that mean that Edward was safe? Was he happy with Bella now? I could breathe—miserably, but still—as long as I knew he was ok. I knew how that story would play out.

"You have to pay for that." I looked over to see the store clerk watching me carefully. It's 2006. I'm a sixteen year old, with no shoes on since I had left in such a hurry, staring at a newspaper, almost crinkling the paper from clutching it so tightly, so, of course, he would assume I was about to steal it.

"Sorry..." I mumbled to him, still in shock. How did this happen? How did I get here? Why was I so young? Why now? Where was Edward? Was he really ok? If he was ok, I'd be ok...somehow. He had to be ok...shit.

Oh God. It was hitting me what had just happened. How did it get to that? Why would he be killed that way? He wouldn't have just showed up and turned himself in. Edward. My love. He was gone. And even if he lived on somehow in the novel, I didn't know how to get back to him. Should I even try? At least Bella didn't get him killed...No, Iris, stop it. He loved you—loves you. You have travelled through time somehow, crossed universes for a second time, which means you can do it again.

I rushed back to my apartment, not stopping until I reached my bed, feeling more hopeful than before, but still scared shitless that I may be kidding myself.

Ok, Laurent and the weirdos in the light said I neutralize myself. How to neutralize? As a vampire I was focusing on my emotions and the direction I wanted to go. Could I do that now? Even when I was in Bella, I was actually a vampire and didn't realize it...last time I was human, I had to be shot and nearly died...could I do that again? No. Yes, ok, I would do it for him. Let's hope it didn't come to that. It would be my last resort...

To bring myself here, I was feeling loss. Maybe to get back, I needed to feel love. Think of Edward. There is no greater definition of love than him. I picked up my old, tattered book back off the comforter by my feet, opening it to the scene in the meadow. I read as Bella described the way his skin felt under her fingers, about the way his lips moved as he sung quietly to himself, about the way he shone in the rays of warm sun against his skin...Edward, I will find you...I was fully relaxed as I laid the book down and thought of my own memories of him off the page and slowly drifted to sleep...

•PTaT•

"This is a great movie, isn't it?" I opened my eyes to see my friend Abby looking over at me. I hadn't seen her since she had transferred units back in 2009...? I glanced around us. We were in a movie theater, and a scene with the Volturi was playing...I shuddered...It was the end of "New Moon." Yup 2009. Shit. Why was I here? Doesn't matter. The point is that I AM here. I did it. I can do it again.

I gave Abby a thumbs up, and motioned quietly that I was trying to watch the movie. I watched the actor playing Edward and wanted to laugh. He had him all wrong. The real deal was so much better...I laid my head back, and let the darkness flow over me again. Edward...I'm coming.

•PTaT•

"Let's go NOW." I heard Edward—my Edward—yell.

I opened my eyes, and I was in the Cullen dining room. Why here? Who the hell cares! Edward was alive! I was here! I did it!

"Edward?!" I shouted as I jumped up to run toward the sound of his voice. I was much slower than I would have hoped because I seemed to still be human. What the...? No time.

I heard something crash to the ground, and then a gasp. "Iris?!" Alice and Edward both ran to me.

"Iris? What happened?!" Edward scooped me into his arms, holding me to him tightly before he released me just as quickly. "You're human?! How?"

"Human?" Carlisle said as he and Esme appeared beside me.

Alice inspected me closely, confounded. "I just saw you get killed! How are you here?!"

"Does it matter?" I laughed at both of them, giddy with joy. Edward was here! I was here with Edward, my Edward! Holy shit...Suddenly there were tears in my eyes as my laughter turned to sobbing. I felt like I might have a mental breakdown from everything I had gone through in the last 24 hours...the last couple of years actually. Total emotional overdrive.

Edward was overjoyed and then instantly frantic when I started to bawl. "Shh...love, I'm here. What happened?" He pulled me back into his arms, kissing me everywhere he could reach as he moved to the living room to sit on the sofa. Jasper came upstairs from the direction of his study, and I felt his steady flow of calm rush over me. Emmett and Rosalie came downstairs, obviously having made up based off the goofy grin Emmett was wearing.

Bella and Jacob came around the corner then too. "Iris? Is that you?!" Bella was smiling ear to ear.

"I...you...they...and...you were...you..." My breath was hitching. I felt like I might hyperventilate. Edward was alive. I was here. We were ok for now. Though the Volturi May be after us soon if we didn't come up with something. When was this? Was there another me—a vampire me—out there? Was she waiting for Edward to save her?

"What happened to her?" Carlisle was instantly at my side, looking me over for injury.

"Slap her!" Emmett shouted which earned him several glares and a growl.

"Love? Iris? Breathe, baby. You're ok. I'm here...that's right. Deep calming breaths." He was holding either side of my face like he did in the airport, so all I could see was him. So much better looking than movie Edward...

He chuckled, relieved at my thoughts as they calmed. "What have you been up to?" He kissed my forehead and pulled me close to him. He didn't seem willing to let me go yet. "Never." He responded to my thoughts again.

"They killed you. The Volturi. You were dead." There was silence in the room. "I must have gone into shock when it happened...I don't know. I just remember not being able to think clearly. It was almost like I literally fell apart...Then I was back in my world, but it was 2006. My mom was yelling at me...I thought I had dreamed everything, but there was no way. I couldn't have. It was all too real..." I looked into the faces of each of my family members because that's what they were to me, even Rosalie who wanted to drain me dry from her bloodlust or just kill me out of annoyance most of the time. Edward smiled slightly and shook his head at me and planted another kiss on my cheek. "I figured out how to drift—not to here at first. It was 2009 in my world, but I was so happy that I did it, that I COULD do it without having to try to kill myself or something...now I'm back." I marveled at the notion. I was back. Hell yes!

"I'm so glad too. You have no idea." Edward spoke quietly to just me. He nuzzled his face into my hair and pulled me closer to him. "You were wrong, you know."

"About what?"

"Your body, your face, your mind...your everything. There's nothing plain about you. You're the most beautiful thing I have ever beheld in over a hundred years. If you had arrived here looking this way originally, I might have forgotten all my manners..." Oh God...my breathing which had finally calmed was becoming erratic once more.

"Barf Fest." Emmett and Alice said at the same time as everyone, except Edward and I, laughed together.

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	42. SoMuchTrouble

Everyone still with me? What? I like a little...flair...to my stories. And "Plot Twist" is in the title for a reason...Haha!

Happy Reading!

Ch. 42 So Much Trouble

"Iris, it's so good to have you back with us, dear. I'm so glad you're ok, and that Edward is smiling again." Esme cupped my cheek in one hand and Edward's in the other. She had venomous tears in her eyes. If any vampire could make themselves cry, Esme would be the one. She felt love so fully...

"I would have to agree with my wife on that point." Carlisle spoke warmly with his heartbreakingly beautiful smile.

"Yeah, it's good to have you back around. Do you fall down all the time in this body too?" Emmett asked eagerly. "Because it's hilarious when Bella does it."

"Hey!" Bella called to him with a frown.

Jacob only laughed. "He's not wrong..."

She sighed. "But still. It's not polite to say." Bella pouted.

"Don't forget me! I missed you too!" Alice danced lightly over to me, kissing me on the cheek before jumping into Jasper's lap. He rubbed her shoulders and kissed her hair. They were so wonderful together.

Rosalie looked like she could have been just fine without me, but at least she was keeping quiet about it. Edward frowned at me.

"And it's great to actually see you and speak to you. You have no idea how strange it was to have you controlling me for those months...and to have you thinking some not so nice things about me all that time..." Bella said in almost a whisper, blushing as she looked down to avoid eye contact.

"What were you thinking?" Edward asked looking between us with a brow raised. He really disliked not knowing everything all the time. He sighed and shook his head at me.

I ignored him. "Sorry, Bella. I hope there aren't any hard feelings. I'm sure you also know that I think you're really great. I just wish that you knew how great you really are too." I smiled at her, and she smiled slightly back while biting her lower lip. Ugh. The face of an angel crossed with an innocent baby doe...Edward laughed out loud, and kissed me.

"I love that I can hear your thoughts now. You're very...expressive." He smirked.

"All the better to keep you entertained, my lovely." I giggled, and he hugged me tighter to his chest.

I loved the atmosphere in the room. Jasper must be on cloud nine about now the way he was grinning. Lap it up, dude. I wished it could stay this way forever. Everyone was happy, celebrating our reunion and the fact that no one was dead...yet. But that was just it. I knew this couldn't last. We had work to do. The Volturi would be coming for us...for me. Edward sighed again, tucking me even closer into him. I know, Edward. I know.

"Umm...so when exactly is this?" I asked the room.

"It's April 2006. We just came back from the airport where we had to...end Demetri." Jasper spoke up.

"Is there still a vampire me out there?" God I hope not. She's probably freaking out, and I'm here making out with her Edward...

"No, I can't see anyone else...we saw you get captured. Then Aro asked Alec and Laurent to take you back to your chambers...then nothing." Alice said after a second of trying to "see." Thank God..."You were gone but suddenly appeared here. I really hate surprises, Iris!" She whined, but I could only laugh.

"Sorry, Alice. I'll try to be as predictable as possible from now on." I rolled my eyes.

"I'd take you both if there were two of you..." Edward hummed into my hair.

Seriously? "Ew. That's really creepy, Edward." I'm going to assume you meant that to sound more romantic than it did...

Edward laughed. "Sorry, Love. I'm just so happy you're finally here with me, and I don't have to watch you leave again. I've been without you for far too long." Then he sobered and said to me sternly, "I won't watch you leave again. Never. You will never leave my side again." Huh?

What am I? Your property? Oh hell no! "You—"

"Iris." He interrupted before I could ream him out. "Can I speak with you alone for a moment?" He looked to the rest of his family and then to me. Everyone—Bella and Jacob included—disappeared pretty quickly then.

"We'll see you guys later...come on Bella." Jacob awkwardly led her from the room.

When I heard the front door close, I narrowed my eyes at him. "Yes?" Is there a problem, Officer?

He sighed. "I don't want to argue with you, and I promise I don't want to control you, but you can't keep being so hypocritical."

Ex-squeeze me? Are you talking about me, mr. I-will-not-be-controlling-but-I-also-won't-allow-you-to-leave-my-side..?Mmhmm, yeah, ok.

He pursed his lips then spoke tightly, clearly trying to restrain himself. "You have been making decisions alone that we should have made together. It's the exact thing that you have accused me of doing. I'll admit that I may have been guilty of trying to have too much control in the past, but I've been trying very hard to change that part of myself for you. Now I have to ask the same of you. I can't lose you again. We spent over a year apart because you decided alone that our love wasn't real despite how many times I told you otherwise."

But I...he...ugh! Stupid, always-right vampire! "Fine...you may have a point..."

He narrowed his eyes at me. "You said we both were nearly killed before you returned to me."

"Well, technically Alec had numbed and blinded me until that point, and Laurent had me frozen...so I wasn't exactly actively doing anything. How do I know that you didn't do something to get yourself killed? If anything, I should be mad at you." I crossed my arms. No flaw in that logic. Hah!

"Iris..." Ugh! Flabbengavjeisjeknrmdl!

"Ok, so you definitely have a point! Happy?" I jumped up from my place beside him and tossed my hands up in the air theatrically. "We will...make decisions together." I quietly conceded, avoiding eye contact...But don't be smug about it.

"Thank you." He smiled, clearly trying not to laugh at me as he rose from where he had remained on the sofa and pulled me back into his arms.

"Don't try to dazzle me now, mister..." I won't have it. You can't do whatever you want whenever you want. I'm a strong, independent woman!

"Dazzle you?"

"It's what Bella called it when you used your vampire charm on her." I still wouldn't look at him.

"Oh, well, now that you're human again...no promises." He chuckled. "I do miss you blushing all the time."

I turned back to him finally. "Well, this body doesn't do that." I stuck out my tongue. Why would you do that? Was this 19 year old version of my body influencing me that much?

"I don't know about that." He leaned down slightly, so he could speak right into my ear in a low, seductive voice. "You know what they say...where there's a will, there will always be a way, and I am very willing, Miss McGee." Holy shit. My heart began racing as he chuckled, making his breath go down my shirt. He started trailing kisses down and back up my neck, across my jaw, and finally to my lips. Fuck. I'm in so much trouble...

"Yes, you are..." he whispered against my lips, pausing only a short, yet drawn out moment before resuming his previous actions...

"Ok, I won't ever leave your side again...you can shackle me to your bed. Have your way with me. Do as you wish..." I was rambling between our lips as I enjoyed every moment of his dazzling.

"You would have to be changed first for that." He said as he moved from my lips, back down my jaw and neck, but this time he continued down my chest which was thankfully exposed right down to my cleavage. I wasn't exactly dressed for cold weather that night at the movies...

What did he just say? Change me? Is he serious? I thought—

"I told you that I've been working on myself. I won't keep you from making your own decisions. If you want to be changed, you will be." He shrugged. "If not, you won't."

I pulled back from him, and looked back and forth between his eyes. "You're sure?" I'm not so sure that I believe this...what's the punchline?

"Only as sure as you are, my love." He answered with his crooked smile. He really looked serious about this...

"And...our...other point of disagreement...about our...intimacy?" I tried to broach the subject delicately, but I couldn't miss my opportunity while he was being so agreeable.

"Well, if I'm being completely transparent with you—which I am trying to be—I would prefer to marry you first, but yes, whatever you would like after that." He kept a poker face, but I could tell there was something he was holding back.

"Was that a proposal?" Shhh. Don't think out loud, Iris. Hold your cards close.

"No, not formally. But you should know my intentions. Once things have settled, and so long as you're willing, I do intend to make an honest woman of you." He smiled widely, showing off his blindingly beautiful, white teeth as if he was unable to hide his feelings any longer.

"I see." I tried to keep a straight face. P-P-P-Poker face, P-P-Poker faaaaace!

"What was that?" Edward was laughing again.

"Music."

"Does that happen often?" He asked amused.

"Singing music in my head?"

"Yes."

"Often, and I'll tell you a secret." I took a step closer to him.

"What's that?" He leaned in.

"I sing out loud a lot when I'm alone too. You might catch me if you hang around long enough." Show tunes are my jam. Eddy, you have no idea what you've gotten yourself into. Maybe you're in trouble too...

"You can't get rid of me that easily...this is totally surreal to actually hear your real voice in your thoughts and out loud. It's different than Bella, of course. You move differently too. I can understand better what you meant about how frustrated you were when you were trapped in her body. You're so graceful, smooth, athletic...So..." His voice trailed off as his eyes darkened.

Continue..."Yes?" There was a smile in my voice.

"...sexy." He finished. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks, and Edward purred. "There it is..." he whispered and pulled me into his arms again. So much trouble...

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	43. WitnessProtection

Ch. 43 Witness Protection

"Edward, you're here!" Hi, Tanya. Nice to see you again. Yes, that is me standing next to your main squeeze. Ugh. This is so not how I planned on spending my Saturday. Ok, this has been planned for a while, but still. I would rather be...almost...anywhere else. Edward leaned over to kiss the side of my head with a smile. We weren't that different in height now, maybe four inches. "Who's this? A new girl already?" She looked at me with polite indifference up and down—mostly up since she was practically fun sized. I never noticed before since Bella is pretty small herself.

"No, it's Iris, of course. You know about her ability, Irina. Please behave yourself." Edward defended me. Hah! Boyfriend stealing bitc—Edward froze, and I smiled sheepishly at him. Sorry.

I smiled as genuinely as I could muster. "Hello again, Tanya. Good to see you're as lovely as ever." Not. You suck actually. Edward bit his bottom lip, but his eyes were crinkled at the corners. "Thank you for inviting us to stay for a couple of weeks. I know what an inconvenience this will be for you all."

"Iris? You're human again? How? I thought—" She truly looked at a loss. Come on! Don't you smell me? Of course it's me!

"Long story that I don't feel like rehashing right now. Just know that I'm fine. The Cullens are fine. We're all fine. Ok?" Tone it down, Iris. You got the guy. Don't be a jealous witch.

"Iris!" Carmen came to the entryway where Edward and I stood, swinging me into an enthusiastic hug. The rest of the Cullen family was coming in behind us with their things.

This was phase one of us going into hiding until we could come up with a suitable plan for the Volturi. We would be moving on to New Hampshire in a few weeks once Esme and Carlisle had everything ready for us. Bella would be attending Dartmouth there in the Fall anyway, so we promised Jacob that we would stay close when he couldn't be there with her. I didn't technically exist on paper in this world, so I could go as "off the grid" as necessary with no repercussions. Plus, thanks to no more Demetri, we were a bit harder to find.

"Hi, Carmen! How are you? Where's Kate?"

"Good, thank you. She's—"

"Here! Wow hottie! Look at you, little blonde bombshell!"

"You're my inspiration, Kate." I laughed. She reached for me, and Edward jerked me backward.

"Kate, she doesn't have a shield anymore!" He sounded panicked. Can vampires have heart attacks? I bet Edward could.

"Oh yeah, sorry, Iris." She smiled sheepishly.

"It's ok. Edward wouldn't let anything happen to me. Watch this." I purposely fell over the opposite direction of where Edward was standing, and he rushed to catch me just before I hit my head on the floor.

"Would you please stop doing that?!" He said in exasperation.

"Why? You said I'll never leave your side, so why not take advantage of the twenty-four seven babysitting? I'm just testing you . Gotta keep you on your toes in case one of the guard shows up." I smiled angelically, but Edward didn't look as amused as Kate did.

"She's a real handful, isn't she?" Kate laughed. That's a bit of an overstatement...

"Yes. But she's my handful." He chuckled, and cupped my cheek. You love my antics, liar! He laughed harder and sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. "I'm never bored anymore." Damn straight.

"Come on, Iris. I want to show you to your room. We had it redone just for you, but Alice did help us a bit." Carmen dragged me away from Edward as Kate followed and he frowned a bit. Don't worry, my darling control freak, you can keep mental tabs on me upstairs. I blew him a kiss, and he winked.

The room was gorgeous. Twice the size of Edward's back in Forks, and very open. It was on the top floor, so there was a skylight letting sun directly into the room from above. Since the house was sort of like a mansion version of a log cabin, the room was done rustically with basic off-white walls and wood finishing, but there were touches of jewel tones scattered around in the throw pillows and hangings on the wall, very boho chic. It was absolutely perfect.

"Amazing. I love it! Thank you so much for helping me feel so welcome here." I was truly touched by how much they had done when we would only be here for a short time.

"We were hoping you might want to come back to visit some day." Carmen said.

"Hey! I thought I was going to help show her!" Alice popped in the room suddenly.

"We changed our minds. You always hog her." Kate accused.

"You did that on purpose!" Alice screeched.

"You get to have her all the time, Alice. Just let us visit with her these few days." Carmen interjected. Whoa. Play nice, girls.

"I didn't realize that I was such a hot commodity around here." I laughed.

"Of course. We all love you." Alice answered like it should have been obvious.

"Thanks..." My eyes were filling with tears. I knew how much I loved everyone else, but it was amazing to feel so loved in return. It wasn't exactly a familiar feeling to me. "I love you all too."

"Love?" I turned to see Edward in the doorway. "I'm going to go hunt with Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, and Eleazar. Are you going to be alright here for a couple of hours?"

"Are you ok with me being alone with your sister and cousins?" I countered with a smirk.

He narrowed his eyes at them, then smiled. "Yes, I suppose they will do."

"Then I'll be fine." I walked to him, and leaned in for a kiss. Oh I will miss you even for just a few hours...

He chuckled into my lips. "I'll be fast."

"Please." I answered breathily, and he was gone, leaving me dazed for a moment.

"Well, now that he's gone, let's go shopping!" Alice clapped. "We have to get you out of Rosalie's hand-me-downs. They do nothing for your complexion."

"Wow. Thanks, Alice. You're so sweet." I deadpanned.

"You will be thanking me for real when I'm done with you! Makeover time!" She was practically jumping on the bed.

I rolled my eyes, but laughed along. "Let's go, so I can be back before Edward returns." Flashbacks of the last shopping trip we made came rushing back to me, and I visibly shuddered. "And some ground rules—"

"I won't leave your side. None of us will." Alice's expression changed to guilt and determination. She placed her hand on mine and squeezed it gently.

"Thank you, Alice. Hopefully I won't be so breakable much longer." I smiled.

"Don't worry, it's all going to plan." Alice said cryptically with a wink. It was so strange sometimes to be best friends with a psychic...

It took just over an hour to get to town, but Alice assured me that we would beat Edward back to the house. Kate and Carmen had come along with Alice and I. Tanya and Irina went hunting with Rosalie and Esme. I don't think those two sisters like me very much, but oh well. I don't like them very much—or at all—either.

We first hit a couple of boutiques, Alice using her unique method of shopping once more which got us in and out of each shop in under ten minutes each with several large bags full of clothes. The store clerks were nearly spinning when we left. I could only laugh as I watched Alice in her element. Her face held the look of pure, unadulterated joy as she zipped up and down the aisles.

We were almost ready to head back home after about an hour when suddenly Alice dropped all her bags and gasped, her face taking on the blank expression I knew was her having a vision. Her reaction told me that this was a big one...maybe THE BIG ONE we had been waiting for. Great.

"Alice?" Carmen shook her shoulders a bit, and Kate looked alarmed as other shoppers in the outdoor mall took notice of Alice's strange behavior.

"It was them. The Volturi. They're coming. All of them. Here."

"When?" I gasped. Fuck you, Twilight! This was almost a year too soon for some Volturi show down. Holy shit.

"About three weeks from now. They're waiting for something... I can't see what it is...something needs to happen—to be decided—before they will come." Her voice was ominous.

Shit! Can't I just have a little bit of peace here?

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	44. WantItAll

Ch. 44 Want It All

I'm a human. The Volturi are coming and I'm a human. This is not good. This is so not good. Don't freak out, Iris. You've been through worse. I can fix this. I just need to be changed. I've been through that before, right? Yeah, but I don't remember that time. Shit. Double shit. Triple Fucking shit. You knew this was coming! You knew it and—no, breathe. Stop with the anxiety attacks. You're surrounded by vampires. Let them help. Don't make any rash decisions. You told Edward that you would work on talking these things through. I can do that, right? I can do this...

"Iris, you look a little pale. Are you ok?" Alice caught on to my mood. "We are going to figure this out." These vampires were some of the greatest actors in the world, but I knew from reading "Breaking Dawn" that they were freaking the hell out too. The entire guard was coming? This is so not good. Understatement of the century, McGee. THEY'RE GOING TO KILL—no, no. Stop it. Breathe. In and out. In and out...

"I'm fine, Alice. I know we will work this out. The Volturi fear me remember?" I laughed nervously. Yeah they were afraid when you were a vampire...sure I had crossed dimensions as a human, but I still hadn't figured out how to drift into someone else as a human. And then there's the whole Laurent thing. I'm sure he was just waiting to lay eyes on me again. Shit! SHIT!

Aro would not let me just walk away from getting one of his most coveted members killed...Plus I then escaped out of his clutches the way that I did. Nope. This is bad, and I'm a human now. I couldnt stay this way...How quickly could I adjust after the change? Last time was pretty horrible. I was horrible. But last time I didn't have the Cullens. Come on, McGee. You've been a vampire already! Surely the rules won't apply to you the same way this time...You'll adjust AND have newborn strength. It will be fantastic. Between that and your talent? Piece of cake, Right? RIGHT?!

"Iris? Carmen and I are going to go find the others. Emmett and Rosalie are here with you since they came back a little early together..." Alice had her nose scrunched in disgust. "Edward should be back soon but his phone is off."

We must have just gotten back to the house from our shopping trip. I couldn't remember any of the drive. The Volturi are coming. The VOLTURI are coming. You know, the ones who killed Edward right before my very eyes? Shit shit shit. FUCKING SHIT!

I thought we'd have more time. There were so many things I wanted to do. I thought we could hide...bide our time while I planned...How did they even find us? Or have they found us?

"ALICE?" I called before she left.

She appeared before me confused. "What is it..? Oh. No, Iris. We can't run. If we run, I see them going to...Forks." No. No. No. Aro knew everything. He took the information right from my mind. He knows too much. He knows my weaknesses. He knows who I love. He will kill anyone to get to me. Why won't he just give up? Why does it have to be this way? I never wanted this. I never wanted to be in some epic feud, arch nemesis and all. This is bullshit!

"Oh ok..." I offered a half-hearted smile to her, a knot rising in my throat. I definitely didn't miss being able to cry. I would much prefer keeping my feelings to myself until I exploded one day from emotional repression. That sounded much healthier to me. No, remember what your therapist said, Iris? Communication. It's all about communication. You have to talk about things...but I don't want to!

I wandered back to my room, and laid face down on the bed with a heavy sigh. I let my tears soak in to the comforter. I needed to take this time to mourn before I became fully resigned to my obviously inescapable fate once more. I was either going to be a vampire soon or dead. Maybe both. Who knows? I hadn't been willing to admit it to myself, but ever since I returned to being human, I had secretly begun to hope that it meant I could change things for Edward and I. I thought I could enjoy aging, going to school...this was almost like the Bella situation all over again, realizing that my potential was much more limited than I believed. Sigh.

I was fully prepared to remain there feeling miserable for myself and wallowing in my past failures, letting fear consume me, but Emmett interrupted me. Jerk.

"What's wrong with you?" I could hear the concern hidden beneath his amusement.

"Me? Nothing...Just the world's most powerful vampire gang coming to destroy us all because I'm a dumbass." No big deal.

"Gah, that's lame." Emmett laughed. Kick me when I'm down, man. Really, I deserve it.

"I don't care. I'm lame. I suck. I wish that I'd never—" I whined, feeling sorry for myself.

"Shut up!" Emmett scared me as he yelled. What the fuck?

"Huh?" Son of a—

He looked to the ceiling and threw up his hands. "Stop with the self-deprecation crap! Edward does enough of that already, and we don't need you taking after him. Weren't you the one who said that the Volturi came for us in the books too?" He looked back down at me, tilted his head, and raised a brow.

"But—"

"Weren't you?" He demanded.

"Yes, but—" That was different!

"Then it was just supposed to happen with or without you. They obviously have it out for us. Now get up, stop whining, and get to work so we can kick their cloaked asses." Before I could say anything, he turned around and walked out. What the hell?

I laid back on the bed, covering my face with my arms, not ready to think about what Emmett said.

"You should." Edward's velvet voice broke through my thoughts. Edward? I sat up and uncovered my face, relief flooding through me at the sight of him. "Don't tell him I said this, but my brother is quite intelligent when he wants to be." He smirked.

"Can't he hear you?" I whispered conspiratorially.

"He and Rose are...otherwise entertained at the moment." Again? Ugh. Edward chuckled at me. "Don't you remember the stamina you had as a vampire?" He continued to laugh.

All humor was lost as I was reminded of my plight. Vampire...I had to be a— "You have to change me, Edward."

He sobered quickly, frowning and asked, "Is that what you want?" Do I have a choice? "You always have a choice, Iris."

"I can't drift to anyone like this. I've tried. It doesn't work. The entire Volturi guard is coming in just a few weeks, and I'm totally useless unless you just want me to run and hide." My voice broke into a sob. Shit. We're all dead.

"Hey." Edward was instantly at my side and cradled my head against his chest and kissing my hair lightly. "I won't let them harm you. If you want to remain human, we will find a way. They don't have Demetri working with them anymore. We can run." His voice grew determined. I love you, but you're wrong, my love...

"Alice told me they'll go to Forks. They'll find everyone... the wolves..." Charlie...Bella...Jacob...even Sam and Jared had found places in my heart.

"So? Maybe that's where it should happen. We could use the support of the wolves." He spoke quietly almost to himself. No, we can't do that to them!

"Maybe you guys just turn me over. That's the best solution. It's me who they want..." My voice hitched. It was hard to talk about my impending end. A happily ever after just did not seem to be in the stars for me.

"No!" Edward growled. "You said I died before. The only way I could see that happening is if I went in search of you. I will not sacrifice you that way. If they're coming, we're going to be together."

"Wait, You're not going to try and hide me away and confront them on your own?" I asked in disbelief. With Bella, his first instinct was always to shelter her, keep her away.

"Would you stay away if I asked?" His question sounded rhetorical, like he already knew what I would say, but I had to answer anyway.

"Never." I spoke truthfully.

He shook his head and sighed. "Then no. I told you that we should always talk these things through together, and I meant it. I promise to always respect you and consider your opinion with these decisions."

Decisions, yes there were many decisions to be made... "I want to be turned." I have to help.

"Then you will be." He answered simply, but I could tell he was forcing himself to remain calm. His jaw was doing that thing where it flexed and relaxed over and over again.

I wasn't sure if I should bring up my other concern...

"Iris? What is it? We can talk about anything." He was running his finger up and down my cheek.

"Do you..." No, this is ridiculous. It will only serve to hurt us both to bring it up.

"Iris? Please?" He begged.

"Do you want a child...?" It's fine. Whatever you say, it's fine. This is stupid. Dumber than stupid.

"No." He answered quickly...too quickly. There was just the hint of regret in his eyes.

"I'm human now. This is our only chance if you want it." I reminded him. Why are you doing this, Iris? Just shut up. You can't do this, can't want this.

"If I want it? Or if you want it? Iris, do you want a baby?" He probed.

"I...no...I..." Yes. Yes, I do. I felt ashamed for thinking it. It was stupid. Impossible, given our situation.

"It's dangerous. I could lose you. I saw how relived you were when you showed up in the dining room last week when you had thought I was gone forever. Would you really have me feel so broken and lost without you when we might be able to avoid it?" Edward was trying to make me see reason, and I did, really, but...

"You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry..." I shook my head. Stop it. This is stupid. You don't want a child. You've never wanted a child. You've never thought about a child...But you have also never been confronted with not being able to have a child either, though...I broke down into tears again.

God, what was wrong with me? I should be planning for the Volturi attack. I should be prepping myself for the change. But now all I could picture was a small baby with copper whispy hair, my dimples, and the perfect mix of blue-green eyes. Our baby. Damnit stupid biological clock. I may be in a nineteen year old body, but my mind was nearing 31. God Damnit! We can't!

"Is this really what you want? Please answer truthfully. I can't stand to see you cry..." I was being stupid, selfish. Stop, Iris! Don't do this. You don't want this. You'll be fine. You have Edward. Save him. He's everything to you. Save him. "I don't know...they're coming. How could we...?" Edward was suddenly breathing too quickly and seemed at a loss for words. I had never seen him so conflicted as he watched the tears streaming out of my eyes, listened to my thoughts about the daughter I would never see, and was lost in his own thoughts of protecting his mate.

"Change me. I have to save you all. Just change me..." I blubbered. I don't need a baby. Why did I even bring it up? Because you want one. You want one with Edward... "no...God no...there's no time..." I argued with myself out loud. I thought there was more time. I thought we could...

Edward was deep in thought, his brow heavy and furrowed. "Tell me everything about Bella's pregnancy." He suddenly demanded.

"What? No. We can't..." There's no time...

"Tell me." He repeated.

"Ok...well, she...Bella...and you...the baby was conceived on your honeymoon in mid-August...Bella had the baby just under a month later. The baby was strong, not as strong as you, but much stronger than a normal human. She grew rapidly and broke Bella's bones and bruised her internally..." Edward winced, but nodded at me to continue with his eyes closed. He was probably watching the visuals from the movie playing in my mind as I explained. It was...graphic. "Bella was starving toward the end. Her body was rejecting everything she tried to eat. You guys realized, with the help of Jacob's snide comments that the baby was thirsty, that Bella needed to drink blood. Once Bella drank it, she felt better almost instantly, but the baby was stronger too and kicked her, braking Bella's spine and detaching the placenta—you know, a placental abruption, and you had to perform an emergency c-section to save them both."

"Me? Where was Carlisle?" Edward's voice cracked. My explanation and the visuals might have been too much for him.

"Hunting, of course...what's a best seller without a little drama?" I laughed in feigned amusement, but Edward did not see any humor in it. "And the uterus...you had to cut through it with your teeth..." I trailed off. See? I told you it was messy...

Edward's face contorted into one of horror, but he still forced himself to ask, "And after all that, Bella...survived?" His voice was low, barely a whisper on the last word.

"Yes, barely." I paused as I thought about what could happen to me if I forced this matter... This is not smart. You're smarter than this. Just sacrifice it. Be with him. Stop it. "You saved some of your venom in a syringe to inject straight to her heart, and then you bit her at each pulse point to rush the venom. You had to perform CPR on her for a time too..." This sounds so much worse retelling it out loud...oh, Iris. Why are you like this?

"Iris, we can't..." He squeezed my hand as he covered his face with his other hand. He sounded like he was trying to convince us both.

"I know. There's no—"

Edward jumped up. "Time...that's it! Time! We need more time!" He was...excited...? Then he turned back to me deep in thought, his eyes shifting back and forth wildly. "Love, you said you that you can't drift into anyone else now as a human, but you can make yourself drift still, correct?" He was suddenly speaking quickly as if it were a matter of life and death, which everything seemed to be these days.

"I guess...why?" This was very suspicious behavior. You're scaring me, Eddy.

"You can go back in time! Go back to when you first left Bella's body. Make a new timeline. It may solve our problems with the Volturi too...Laurent wouldn't know about you yet, and we'd have the upper hand on so many fronts!" He was behaving very out of character...

"Are you trying to get rid of me or something?" Should I be hurt that he wasn't hiding me in a basement somewhere, telling me it was for my own protection while refusing to change me? Had he really changed so much so that he was sending me alone into the unknown...? "What if it didn't work?"

"Of course I'm not, Love. Just the opposite. I'm trying to give you everything you want. Maybe we can have it all..." his eyes took on a far away look.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, what the fucking hell are you talking about?!" My eyes grew wide at his strange disposition.

"I promised to be honest with you. I didn't want to scare you, but I don't see how we can face the whole Volturi guard. There's no way out. Even if you were a vampire, you can only take one out at a time and that's assuming that the other guards with offensive powers are not attacking us while we're trying to stop whomever you're in..." He took on an expression of hopelessness. Then he perked back up, placing both of his hands on my shoulders and staring deeply into my eyes. "But you can change this. You can stop it all. Go back, warn us. Find Laurent, kill him. Marry me. Have a baby with me. Change. We can do it all, Iris. Whatever you want. Please. I want this. I want this so badly for you and for me. It's incredibly selfish of me to ask, but it's also for you, for all of us. We can't survive this as it is. I didn't know how to tell you, but I have to tell you now because we are going to lose it all. There just aren't enough of us to take them on even when we factor in the wolves. We were talking while we went to hunt, and there's just no way. We tried to decide a million different times, but the outcome didn't change. Either One or multiple of us—a couple of times all of us—wound up dead no matter the choice. You're our last chance here. Go back to before Demetri. Explain to us. Include us—" he looked at me pointedly. "—and finish them."

"Who are you and What the hell have you done with my sulky, over-protective, controlling vampire??" I said with a glare.

Edward laughed and kissed me on the forehead, all the weight seemingly gone from his shoulders. "It's still me, love, but don't you know? When a vampire changes, it's permanent. You made me the happiest man alive." He picked me up and swung me in a circle. I couldn't be sure, but I think I might have cured Edward Cullen of all his flaws. Now he was truly the perfect specimen...holy hell.

Edward laughed out louder at that than I had ever heard until he looked to be convulsing, and then he pulled me to the floor with him...No, correction, I broke him.

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	45. AWaywardPast

Ch. 45 A Wayward Past

"Love, you're going to be fine. I trust you. You can do this. Just focus on us. Focus on our love and our future together." Edward was whispering as held me close, kissing me anywhere his lips could reach with my face pressed as it was into his shoulder. He sounded confident in our plan, joyous at the prospect of us finally getting to be together without worry of these fucking vampires who always seemed to have it out for us.

I, on the other hand, was not feeling as sure about it. "How do you know? I just got you back! What if I screw this up? What if I end up back in my world and can't get back to you?" I was mumbling between sobs. I can't. I can't. Stop being such a cry baby...I can't!

"At least you would be safe. Please, there's nothing for us here but a painful ending. I have always promised to keep you safe, and, right now, that means letting you go for a time. Iris, you are so strong. You CAN do this." He pried me away from him so he could look into my eyes. His golden irises were bright and warm after his hunt. I would miss them if things went wrong...

"Stop it. You're going to find your way. You're going to go back and find me. You've done it before, and you will do it now." His voice was stern yet full of devotion. God, I fucking love you.

I threw myself back into his arms, pressing our lips together, desperate to feel him everywhere, to fill the emptiness that grew within me every time I thought about leaving now. It had been two weeks since we had made the plan for me to drift backward in time, a redo. At first, it seemed like a great idea. Time travel? Pfft why didn't I think of that, right? But since then I had taken the time to actually think about all that could go wrong. I had already felt what it was like to lose Edward, and I never wanted to feel that way again. Dying at the hands of the most vicious member of the Volturi would be a hell of a lot less painful than that.

We had spent the last couple of weeks together, bonding, making memories—mostly for my sake because Edward wouldn't remember any of it when I found him again since I was going into his past before these memories were made. It kind of made my head hurt to think about it...but anyway, he told me that when I found him, he would at least see the memories from my thoughts and experience them in a way even if it was only vicariously through me...

"I'm not ready." I admitted shamefully.

"I'll never be fully ready to watch you go either, but if all goes to plan—which it will. I'm sure of it—we will be together soon again. Please, Iris. We could put this off for a couple more days, but the Volturi will be here in less than a week. Alice sees it quite clearly. Laurent will be with them, of course. It will not...end well." His voice sunk to nearly inaudible mouthing at the end.

"Alice saw." There was no question to my reply. She saw me die. There was no other explanation as to why Edward would be so willing for me to go. I thought this decision of his was out of character, but it wasn't. He was concerned about me, saving me in the only way he knew how just as he had explained, but I was too blind in my own concern for him to see it. Shit.

"Iris? Come here." Edward backed up to stand beside my bed. He stared into my eyes from across the room, a small smile playing across his lips.

"Edward?" I inquired. What are you up to?

Just as I nearly reached the spot where he stood, Edward scooped me up into his arms, and laid me on the bed in one fluid motion. Oh, Edward...

He gently laid beside me, pulling me to be flush with him, front to front, on our sides. Slowly, so slowly, he began peppering me with kisses so lightly that it could have been a stray hair tickling my skin. He began at the lobe of my ear, moving tenuously along my jawline. He paused briefly at the corner of my mouth to my own chagrin.

"Mmm... I am so jealous of my past self already. For him to have your love, adoration, and the future of my dreams is so unfair. But for him to have access to your body? Unforgivable."

"It's still you, Edward." I reassured him. It's always been you...

"No, this Edward will have new memories of better times with you that I'll never have. This is for us, though. I will, hopefully, disappear along with my timeline when you find me, though. I want nothing more than for you to find forever happiness. You deserve it all. You deserve everything."

I couldn't respond to that. My eyes were filled with tears at the thought of losing my Edward here, the way he was now. This Edward had suffered here without me for over a year. This Edward knew what it felt like to be without the one you needed more than any other. The Edward of the past will not have experienced those feelings, and he may not be able to get passed our fickle differences of the past as this Edward could. Hell, if I could somehow go back to myself when I first arrived here, I would certainly knock some sense into that damn stubborn mind of mine.

Edward left me to my thoughts as he went back to kissing me, and I enjoyed his physical display of affection for me. I, in turn, tried to show him all he meant to me in my own movements and kisses. We remained relatively innocent in our intimacy, but it was still levels far beyond where we had begun almost two years prior.

After several hours like this—I could only describe the passing of time as it felt. I really couldn't say what it was in real time—Edward pulled his face back gently, still holding me close.

"It's time, my only Love." He murmured into my ear. A single tear trailed down my cheek. I stared into his eyes, totally captivated by all that was him—his beauty, his smell, his velvety smooth voice...

"Ok." My voice broke. I'm not ready...

"You are. I love you more than anything. Please do not act rashly or forget that you're no longer alone once you arrive there. We do this together, remember?" I nodded in response unable to speak through the knot in my throat or think passed the chaos of all the emotions rising within me.

He pulled me into his cool embrace once more and I was bawling again. I love you. I love you. I love you.

"See you soon." He said with a smile in his voice. These vampires were far too good of actors to be trusted...

Edward huffed a laugh into my hair. "Trust that I will always adore you and cherish every moment of your time that you give me. I will be waiting for our new future. Goodbye, love."

"Goodbye..." I looked up to meet his golden irises once more before I pressed my lips to his, focusing on the peace of being in his arms as I slowly drifted into the darkness...

•PTaT•

I awakened to a cold gust of air, and the sound of a man screaming.

"Please! No! I have a wife and children! You can—" His cries ended with the sound of a hiss, a gurgle, and then nothing. What the hell was that?

My senses were on high alert before I even opened my eyes, but I didn't know why. I looked around to see that I was laying on the dirty, chilled ground at the far end of a darkened alleyway. There was no one to be seen, but I could hear cars driving in the distance and see the glow of their headlights passing at the opening of the alley. I stood carefully as I allowed my body to catch up to wherever the hell I found myself. I began to walk toward the sound of the cars.

"Excuse me, may I ask what you're doing here?" A rough, yet somehow also smooth voice called to me. I knew that voice, though it was far more strained and tense than I was used to hearing it.

"Edward?" I turned in the direction I thought it came from. I nearly fell backward when I caught sight of him. He looked relatively the same as I left him, but he wore a tan, wool suit with saddle shoes. His clothes, while an odd choice, were not what made me want to screech. His eyes were red. Holy fucking shit.

"How do you know my name?" He didn't wait for my verbal reply before gasping. "How...how do you have these thoughts of me?" He was almost stuttering which is quite the feat for a vampire. His eyes widened further at that thought. "You know?"

"I...I..." Oh my god. I went too far. This is definitely not my Edward. This is age of rebellion Edward. How did I manage this?! Shit fuckety shit.

"Your Edward?" He was coming closer to me, and for the briefest of moments I recognized the confusion in his face.

Ok, Iris. This IS your Edward. Stop being a hypocrite. You loved human blood when you were a vampire. At least Edward is only feeding from serial killers and rapists. You were not as discriminating with your dinner. "Hello, Edward. I'm sorry my thoughts are all over the place, but I didn't expect to find you this way. I'm Iris."

"I don't understand." He paused a few feet away from me and was clearly perplexed—rightfully so.

"I'm your..." mate. Oh no...

"Excuse me?" He backed up a few feet. "I don't know what you're talking about." His face was shocked, lost.

"I'm sorry." I couldn't help the sting of rejection that passed through me. I knew it was stupid to feel this way. He didn't know me yet, and he was obviously not in the same state of mind as my Edward...

"Why do you keep calling me that? How could you know that I'm your mate?" He spoke the word with disgust. "Explain to me. Now." Pushy pushy...Do I tell him? And if so, how much? Aww hell, he can read my thoughts anyway. Fuck it. Maybe this was what I was meant to do, live in the past...be with him now to prepare for later...

"I am from the future." Holy shit that was lame. "I mean...I'm your mate in the future. I know this is insane. Please don't freak out. I can pass through time, and other...things...It's my gift—"

"No..." he was still backtracking, shaking his head.

"Read my thoughts, not my words." I tried to center my thinking, focusing my thoughts on the last year and a half. I recalled the first time I saw Edward in gym. Our time laughing at the restaurant and subsequently the hospital. I recalled his "stolen" kisses and kisses that I, myself, initiated. I thought about just minutes before on the bed how he soothed me with his words and his lips...

"How?" He repeated himself, but he was moving closer again. "How is this possible?" His brow was wrinkled in the way that I loved...so handsome...

"I told you that it's my gift, just like telepathy is yours." Please believe me. I love you. I came to save us...

"Save us from what? If you were so happy in the future, why did you leave?" He demanded in a hiss. Apparently he was not taking the news as well as I had hoped. I cowered against the wall at the sound, and I could have sworn that his facial expression softened just the tiniest bit.

"The..." Oh God. I gulped before thinking or speaking the word. "Volturi." Edward hissed. He was much more feline, less restrained, when on a human diet. Or maybe it was the fact that he was still relatively young and wouldn't have had time to absolutely perfect his human act yet...what year is it?

Edward straightened as I assessed his movements. "1931." He answered as he looked away from me and lowered himself against the brick wall lining one side of the alley, staring blankly to the left of me at the cement block wall on the other side.

This wasn't the time I had been aiming to travel to—not by a long shot—but it could work. The Volturi wouldn't even know that I existed now. I wouldn't even be a blip on their radar. Yes, this was perfect.

I waited just a moment before pushing myself away from the wall to attempt to approach him. "May I?" I spoke more meekly than I had intended. This is Edward. He may not know it yet, but he loves you. Don't fear him.

"You should. I'm a murderer." He spoke flatly as his face remained blank.

"I am too...Or I was in the future." His garnet eyes shot up to meet my blue ones.

"What do you mean?" He appeared to be searching my face, and most likely my mind, for the answer.

"I was a vampire, a member of the Volturi—involuntarily, clearly." His eyes widened, but he said nothing as I replayed some of my most memorable, and shameful, acts as a vampire.

"You're human!" He retorted.

"Now...but that's a whole different story..." I sighed, suddenly exhausted.

"I have time." He said with a quirk of his brow. "I'm still not sure that I believe you." Still just as stubborn, I see...

Edward smiled, but it didn't meet his red eyes. Damn. They're just so...red. I bet I freaked him out before too, but he was too much of a gentleman to say anything...

"So I was back to partaking in an animal diet when you knew me?" He seemed almost...relieved.

"Yes. You said that your...rebellious phase—" I winked at him to show that I wasn't judging him for his current choice of vessel to feed from. "Made you feel empty. You didn't like being a monster..." Your words, not mine. I don't think you're a monster. I could never think that...I'm the monster...

Edward didn't seem to be listening to my self-deprecating spiral of thoughts was falling into.

"I don't want to be a monster...it's just what I am. If I could end it, I would." His voice was hollow, just above a whisper, and the pain heard there pulled me back to the present...or the past...which was now my present...? Ugh headache.

"Look, I understand your choice to feed from humans...we're delicious—or at least, I thought so when I was like you." Edward almost looked like he wanted to laugh...almost. "Anyway, I'm just saying that I don't think poorly of your current diet, if my opinion means anything to you...I never even tried to abstain, so kudos to you for staying away as long as you did. However, if you are not feeling so great about it, it's not too late to change your mind. Your mother and father miss you very much and will welcome you back to them with open arms when you return. I know it. Trust me."

"I don't even know you. How can I trust you?" Ouch. No, back up, McGee. He doesn't know you YET, but he will.

"You can trust me because I'm madly in love with you." Wow, I'm really putting myself out there. Honesty. Inclusion. I'm not alone. Edward's words of advice from back in my room in Denali replayed through my mind. I have to..."I travelled across dimensions and time and space to find you. I will take you any way that you will accept me. If you want me to leave, I will understand, but, please, don't tell me to leave. I have made so many horrible mistakes. You would never admit to it, but I know that I was the reason that we were separated for so long, and it broke us both and nearly got the entire family killed. I have to rectify things. I can make you happy. It took me a long—ridiculously long—time to come to this conclusion, but we were destined for one another." My voice broke off to a sob as my mind reeled through all of my most cherished memories of Edward, my Edward. Please, you could be my Edward too...

His eyes completely melted as he watched me break down in front of him. "You really mean everything you say...it's all true." His voice was back to the soft velvet that had the power to pull me anywhere he would go.

"Absolutely every bit of it." I answered earnestly. I love you...I suddenly realized that I was on my knees in front of where he remained seated on the ground, our faces level. I leaned forward, ever so slightly, testing him and wordlessly asking consent for what I wanted so badly to do. I knew this was strange for him. He had only just met me, but I knew him better almost than I knew myself.

He hesitated, seeming to be afraid of what might happen if we were to become any closer. I trust you fully. You won't hurt me...please...

He barely closed the distance, and our lips almost didn't touch, but they did. In that exact moment, light burst from within me, and we were joined, fully becoming one being. I was him, and he was me, our mind, body, and soul were one. Our thoughts and memories were one as well, and as he took in all that I had to give, I felt him sigh in relief as he totally accepted me. He knew the truth. He knew our journey. My memories were his memories, and our kiss deepened.

"Iris..." he moaned into my lips as I gasped for air between kisses. He left my mouth, trailing along my jaw and down my neck where he paused, and I distinctly heard him stop breathing.

No! Damn it, Iris..."You shouldn't do it...we can have everything if you push through this...but...I will always love you even if it's too much...you're my everything." I whispered into his soft, copper hair.

His hands were shaking as he gripped my arms. I felt his cool lips part against my skin right where my carotid pulsed, his teeth resting against my neck. I could feel him struggling to resist, and I thought of all we might lose if he killed me or even changed me right now. The baby girl with the whispy copper hair flashed in my mind fleetingly. It's ok, Edward. I love you...you are my everything.

He stiffened then darted around me to crouch at the opposite end of the alley. I could see that his shoulders were shaking, he was sobbing tearlessly. I stood to approach him. I knew it wasn't smart, but I couldn't see him suffer this way...

"Don't come any closer! I'm a monster! I could have...I could have..." his voice was broken, and his eyes were dark, almost black.

"You're not a monster. I love you. Come with me. Let's find Carlisle and Esme. Please..." Please, Edward...I've sacrificed it all, so that we could have everything...you were so happy. You will be so happy again. Please...

He turned, watching me intently with my hands stretched out to him, beckoning him, willing him to return. "I'm not afraid anymore. I'm sorry. I should have never doubted you. You are so much stronger than I am." I pictured Edward hugging Bella, his singer. His very brief moment of weakness here with me was nothing compared to that level of temptation, and he had willingly spent so much time with her since I had left.

He slowly made his way back to me, stopping a few feet away as he took a deep calming breath. His eyes were back to the bright red they had been.

I opened my arms wider for him, my eyes and thoughts urging him back to me.

He finally closed the distance, embracing me. "I'm so sorry. It's very...challenging...for me right now to be so close to you. This is very new, but I also have not been abstaining from human blood as you know." He bowed his head in shame.

"You were killing killers. I used to indulge in any person with a beating heart. If you decide to keep me around long enough to change me, you may have a difficult time with my newborn stage...I think my parents' alcoholism may have passed along to me in a different way..." I looked at my feet with a grimace.

He lifted my chin with his finger to meet his eyes. "How about you help me now, and I promise to help you then?" He smiled his famous crooked smile, and I couldn't help but return the sentiment.

"Deal. I love you."

"As strange as this should be since I only just met you, I love you too." His smile this time was wide and blindingly white. You should work for Colgate...Edward burst out laughing at that, and offered his elbow to me. "Come. I think it's time for me to go home, for US to go home actually." He corrected himself.

"Home..." that sounded wonderful. "Wait, what the hell am I going to do in 1931?" My voice shot up two octaves. Now that things were ok between Edward and I and the adrenaline was finally leaving my system, I realized what a problem this could actually be. Flying fuck balls...

"You have an...interesting...vocabulary..." He smirked. "Are things very different in 2006?" He asked in amusement, obviously being sarcastic.

"Just a little bit..." Oh, what have you done, Iris? Shit.

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	46. ANewBeginning

Ch. 46 A New Beginning

"Well, this is it." Edward and I were standing on a path at the foot of a large, grass-covered hill which led to a massive, three-story brick home on the outskirts of Rochester, New York, the current residence of Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Edward's expression was apprehensive to say the least. If he were human, I would say he might be about to vomit, but he wasn't human. Vampires don't hurl, right?

He shot me a look. "It's going to be fine." I sighed, taking his hand. "I should be the one who's more nervous. This Carlisle and Esme haven't met me before. They'll most likely think I'm very crude compared to the demure, refined women of this time. Look at me! I'm wearing jeans and an AC/DC t-shirt—not that you'd know who that is, but still. I don't fit in here...I'm still not sure why you even like me." I wasn't doubting that Edward and I were supposed to be together, but I must seem very strange to a man born in 1901 who hasn't yet been eased into the lewdness of twenty-first century life. I'm sure I would be considered very vulgar here. I would have to reign it in...a lot...if I was going to exist here. Fuc—I mean, drat. Yeah, drat. That's much better.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with a smile in that all too familiar look of feigned exasperation. "I am enjoying your company very much, thank you. And I must say, you do have a way with words..." he chuckled then looked to me sincerely. "It's going to be fine. Esme will be beyond herself with joy that you've single-handedly convinced her wayward son to come home. Carlisle will always follow Esme's lead. Now as for me? I'm not so sure that I'll receive such a warm welcome. I was horrible to them the last time they saw me..." He visibly shuddered. Oh come on, Cullen. You were even polite to the werewolves while insulting them...

"It couldn't possibly have been that bad." I attempted to reassure him.

"It ended with Esme kicking me out." He said in a monotone. You ticked off Esme bad enough to get kicked out? Damn. I mean, shoot. Shit, I'm going to be really bad at this...Edward was laughing at me again and kissed my forehead. "Self-awareness is the first step to self-improvement." He told me in his smug voice.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah. Let's just get up there and meet the parents already!"

Edward took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, nodding to himself, and led me up the path.

When we reached the front steps, Edward slowed. "It's been a long time..." Go, on. You've got this...He nodded once more, and took the last few steps up to the door.

"Edward? Son, you're here?" Carlisle opened the door just before Edward could knock, his fist still suspended mid air. He looked exactly the same of course. "Esme, come. It's Edward, and he has someone with him." Carlisle's face was arranged in a polite smile, but his brow was raised inquisitively.

"Carlisle, this is Iris, my...mate." Edward beamed over at me.

"Your...?" Carlisle was very obviously noticing my humanness but didn't say anything. "Hello, I'm—"

"Carlisle. Edward's father." I finished for him with a smile. This time would be different. No more lies. I had to do this correctly. "I know all about you guys. It's so fantastic to meet you." I said with genuine excitement. I was so elated to have this second—or was it the third or maybe fourth chance?—with these amazing people.

"Edward?" Esme showed up in the foyer and ran straight to him, embracing him fully. She seemed as wonderfully maternal as always.

"It's so good to see you again, Esme." Edward was hugging her back just as fervidly. They very plainly loved one another. My cheeks were hurting from smiling so widely, but damn—darn—I loved seeing everyone so happy.

When she finally released him, Edward pulled me back to his side. "Esme, I was just telling Carlisle that this is Iris, my mate."

"Mate?" Esme exclaimed with an exuberant grin. "Oh, Edward!" She didn't even seem to care that I was human. She pulled Edward and I into a hug together this time, and I couldn't help the giggle that escaped. Yup, there it was. I might travel through time over again just so I could watch how excited Esme was for him each time he announced this relationship. She was over the moon. Such a mom.

"Come in, both of you." Carlisle clapped Edward on the back, grinning. He ushered us to the sitting room at the front of the house.

"What can I get for you, Iris? I'm sorry to say that I wasn't expecting guests. I'm not sure what I have, but I can run right over to the market—" Esme was beside herself. This must be her worst fear for her son to finally bring home a mate—a human mate to boot—after all this time and worrying for him, and then she didn't have human food. What a catastrophe! Edward smiled down at me, and brushed his thumb across my knuckles.

"It's alright. I'm fine for right now, but I'd love to accompany you to the store in a bit if that would be ok with you." I was actually starving. I hadn't eaten in nearly a day or slept since the day before that. Edward—twenty-first century Edward—had begged me to get some rest, but I was so grieved by the thoughts of what was to come that I couldn't make myself even close my eyes. Now I found myself on the brink of falling over.

A smile returned to her lips as she responded. "Yes, dear, of course. That would be lovely." I loved this woman.

"Esme, Carlisle, I do think that we have some things to discuss, but Iris needs to rest. Is there a room with a bed that she might use?" I frowned at him. I just met them! Don't make me look like a useless bum! He bit back a smile at me. "She is too polite to ask for herself." I held back my sigh as he coughed to cover up a chuckle.

Esme smiled at our silent exchange in fascination. "Yes, come right this way, Iris." She turned to Edward as I stood and spoke aloud for my ears I'm sure. "Where ever did you two travel from? Not too far I hope?"

"Vermont. Just a few hours north of here." Edward answered.

"Edward, you didn't! Did you run with Iris all the way here? Poor girl!" She chastised was she took me under her wing.

"I like it. It didn't bother me in the least." I shrugged with a laugh.

"Liar. You looked ill about half way through." Edward proclaimed in jest.

"Ugh. I was trying to help you out, my love, but if you would like to suffer the wrath of Esme, then by all means, go ahead." Edward's smile turned into a grimace. I just rolled my eyes with a feigned look of pity.

"I think I like her." Carlisle spoke up. Yes! I was two for two in the parent department! Edward shot me a disparaging look, but laughed.

"See you later, darling." I responded cheekily to Edward's playful sneer.

He rushed to me before I could follow Esme up the stairs. "Sleep well, love." He whispered into my ear with a kiss to my temple, and my heart beat sped erratically. My Edward...

He smiled at my dazed state, turning my body to face me in the right direction to follow after Esme. She beamed fondly at us from a few steps up. I couldn't even be embarrassed. I was so beyond happy. No one was coming for us. Edward loved me. Yes, we would have to get to know one another again, but I was one hundred percent sure that he was feeling the same intensity and passion for me that I felt for him, just as we had in the future—or my past? Ugh...this would never get easier to think about. But the point is that we were together, here, unthreatened. Maybe we could have that happy ending after all.

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	47. HappiestBoyInTheWorld

Ch. 47 Happiest Boy In The World

"Houston, we have a problem." I stood over my bed, staring at the clothes Esme had laid out for me. They were beautiful, of course, but there were too many pieces. There were silky shorts, a corset looking thing with clips, a bra, a slip, a mauve blouse with small white flowers that had flouncy sleeves and a tie in the front, a tan colored pencil skirt with a matching coat, stockings, and t-strap heels. Evidently Esme was the one to dress the family before Alice came along...

"I don't get your odd references sometimes," Edward stated bluntly but with a smile in his voice from behind the bedroom door. He would not enter my room. He said to view a lady in such "intimate quarters" went against everything his mother, Elizabeth, had instilled in him. So life in the 1930s was going to be tons of fun apparently. Sigh...

"Where's Esme? I think I can figure out which body part most of these pieces are supposed to cover, but I need explanation for how they work..." Or you could come show me yourself...My bite won't hurt you, after all...I giggled as I could almost picture Edward's face at that remark. I was not disappointed.

I heard Edward make a choking noise in response, and then clear his throat. Edward at this stage was so unrestrained, yet so tame at the same time. "Iris," he spoke in a low voice. "Please. This is already difficult for me to be near you. We will get there, hopefully, in due time, but it's not...appropriate just yet." I heard him take a deep breath. "Esme should be here shortly. She just went to see Carlisle at the hospital for a few minutes while you napped."

"Ugh. Come on. I'm covered. I promise! Look!" I walked over to the mirror showing Edward in my thoughts that the long, champagne colored silk and lace robe that I put on after my bath covered every piece of me from collar bone to ankle.

"Iris..." he growled. "You are beautiful, but do you have to tempt me so? I'm trying extremely hard not to break this door down as it is." His voice sounded wonderfully rough, but a different kind of rough than in the alleyway before...no, this was a completely different emotion entirely...

I walked over to the door and swung it open, surprising him. He momentarily appeared to turn into a statue as he stared at me, obviously trying his damndest to not look below my eyes. "I'm from a different era. You saw more than this the first time we met. I was wearing tiny little cotton shorts, a fitted t-shirt, and sneakers." I laughed as he read my thoughts which replayed our first time in gym together.

Edward relaxed just a bit, his eyes looked like molten lava as they darkened but continued to bore into mine. It was his lustful face. "I haven't existed long enough to accept such drastic shifts in fashion, and we're currently living in my present. Could we keep our morals in line with the 1930s for just a bit longer? I'm not sure I can keep up." I laughed at the line which sounded so similar, but opposite, from his line from the book. Poor Eddy looked so troubled. I wouldn't force him to do anything, but he needed to know that he didn't need to protect my innocence. This was all about him. "Please don't call me that..."

"What? Eddy?" I asked innocently, but he wasn't fooled.

"Edward will suffice."

"What about darling?" I purred.

"I think I could get used to that."

"I don't know...I think...lover...has a better ring to it..." His eyes darkened again, and I shook my head. I knew I would most likely have to fight this battle again, but for him to not even be able to look at me? Ridiculous.

"Iris—"

"Edward, If you're really that uncomfortable, then turn away. I promise I won't force you to do or see anything you don't want to, but I am your mate. If you'll have me, I want to marry you one day and have a baby with you. I want you to change me and spend eternity with you. Compared to those events, you seeing me in a robe now which covers me nearly head to toe is nothing. If you look at me, I will be flattered, not offended. But don't let me sway you from your morals." I raised my brows at him. He was such a sweet, innocent boy compared to the Edward who had just days ago run his hands up and down my exposed rib cage as we made out like the teenagers we appeared to be...

"You would marry me?" His gaze became even more intense if that were possible.

"In a heartbeat, and mine beats pretty fast since I'm always an anxious mess." Edward chuckled, but then frowned suddenly.

"Did you just call me a boy?" Maybe. Does that get you all hot and bothered, Eddy? Hot, definitely... A growl emanated from his chest again.

"If I did?" I bit my lower lip, and Edward's eyes finally dropped below my lower lash line to stare at it. "It's ok, you can shut the door. It won't hurt my feelings. It was wrong of me to push you to your limit by exposing myself to you this way. You can see all of my ankles...so scandalous." I said playfully. What's it going to be, darling?

He watched as my lip broke free from my front teeth, and his eyes trailed just a bit lower to my chin, then my neck, and finally rested on my half-exposed collarbone. He stopped there, and I figured that was as far as he could get without figuratively blushing.

"Would you please just tell me how to put these things on? Esme took my other clothes to wash them, or else I would just wear those again for the time being. Please. I promise to behave." He narrowed his eyes at me as if I were up to something. I threw my hands up in surrender. "Hey, you're the mind reader. I'm just a human...no way I could trick you. Wait til Alice comes along in a couple of decades. Then you'll have met your match..."

"Fine." He sighed and timidly took a step inside the room. I went to stand against the wall, trying to respect his obvious discomfort. "This is your...brassiere. It goes up top. It clasps like so...I only know this by concept of course." He looked nervous, and I bit back a giggle. Poor, innocent Eddy. He rolled his eyes. "Ahem, these are the undergarments which go on the...lower end. Then this is the...girdle which has clips that attach to your stockings. Next would be the petticoat—"

"Ok, ok...got it." I smiled. Edward really looked like he might pass out if he could if he had to say one more thing about my panties. "Sorry, my love. Thank you. That's all I needed. The formality in fashion will be lost over the next few decades." I explained. "I really wasn't trying to torture you. I just figured the quicker I dress, the more time we would have to explore the city before night."

Edward looked down at his shoes. "Iris, I can't go out."

What? I came all the way through time and he wasn't even going to show me around?! "Why not? It's cloudy. No one will—"

"I can't for two reasons. The first is my eyes. My dietary choices as of late have made my eye color rather...conspicuous for daylight hours. The second reason is that I don't trust myself around humans yet."

"You've been great around me..." I began to protest, but he stopped me.

"I love you, and you are just one person. I don't want to scare you, but even now it takes most of my concentration to not want to sample your delectably scented citrus blood right now. It's quite distracting really. I thought you would understand."

"Oh, right...no, I get it. I didn't think...I'm sorry." Duh, Iris. Stop being so vapid. This was not as easy as Edward was making it look. It had been mere hours ago that he fed. It would only be more difficult for him the longer he tried to abstain..."So you might have to be away from me for some time?" I wanted to cry at the thought of being separated from him for any amount of time, especially now that I was here so far from everything that I knew. I didn't even have Alice to keep my spirits up.

"I'll try my best, love, but I won't risk your life. If I feel even the least bit of weakness, I plan on isolating myself for a time in a remote cabin in Wisconsin which Carlisle used with both Esme and myself after we changed. I promise to write all the time, though." He placed his hand on my arm. Shi—shoot—Aw hell. Fuck. Tears spilled over. "I'm not leaving you, yet, and if it does come to that you won't be alone. Esme and Carlisle would never mistreat you."

"I'm not worried about that...it's just..."

"I know. I'll miss you too, but it's for us, for our future. I won't be a monster...I have to be stronger than this. I will be, right?"

"Right." I tried to smile through the tears that were still falling.

"Besides, I have to be a good example to you." He laughed and it sounded like music. Ugh, even when I was crying he found a way to be smug. I couldn't help but laugh with him.

"You're really ok with me changing? In the future, when we first met, this was a big argument. What about my soul?" Shut your trap, Iris. Why are you talking him out of turning you? Shut. Up.

"I have your memories, so I've seen how convincing you can be. Plus, if you've travelled across worlds, dimensions, time, and space to be with me, I would be the biggest idiot on the face of the planet to let you slip through my hands like sand." He chuckled to himself, nervously running his fingers through his hair. He sobered pretty quickly then. "I'll admit that I have struggled with this...monster within me. I have gone back and forth with the idea that someone as horrible and evil as myself must not have a soul, but then I saw you yesterday. You arrived out of nowhere in a ball of light, like an angel. You announced yourself as my mate, but I couldn't believe it. How could someone as horribly evil as myself have deserved someone as pure in intention as you? Then when you kissed me, I felt it. I felt our souls, two of them, fusing together to form one half of another. You were the piece I was missing. You not being with me was the reason that I felt empty inside. Now, I know that I have a soul, one that I share with you."

Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks. "Damnit I almost had myself under control..." I was laughing as I swiped at my eyes.

Edward grinned and pulled me snugly into his shoulder, kissing my temple as I rested my head there. His cool breath tickled my head as he talked into my hair. "Iris, with you by my side, I can do it all. I can have everything. Thank you for this gift. You've made me the happiest man—boy—" he teased, "—alive."

I didn't answer him verbally, but I knew he felt my joy through my thoughts. I was soaring.

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	48. TheStruggleIsReal

Ch. 48 The Struggle Is Real

I had been here for just over a week. Edward had been doing alright, but our time spent together was becoming fewer and far between. He was probably going to have to leave soon. Damnit. How was I going to fare here without him? Esme and Carlisle were great, but since Carlisle was at the hospital all the time—mostly working pro bono Esme informed me—and Esme had her interests with charities and what not, that would leave me alone unless I wanted to follow them around like the little lost puppy that I was...

"Iris, I have to thank you for bringing Edward home. I don't know what you did or how, but I have never seen him so full of passion for life. Carlisle and I have been so concerned for him. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I was afraid he might have been too young to ever find a mate, to ever feel...whole. So thank you so much." Esme looked like she might cry if she could.

"Was he really that bad? He mentioned that you guys weren't very happy with him the last time he saw you..." I didn't want to bring up a difficult subject, but my morbid curiosity got the better of me. God, Iris. Mind your own damn—darn—business.

"He was lost. His beliefs about his worthlessness did make him rather difficult to speak with." She said, and it was clear that was all she would say on the matter.

"Well, thank you for your support of Edward and me. I love him more than anything. I know that our relationship isn't conventional by any means, but it's ours. It's been a difficult path so far, and I'm the one who made it so difficult most of the time. But I finally feel like we can be together here. I know things aren't perfect, but it's a million times better than where I came from." I shuddered at the thought of Aro, Jane, Demetri, Felix, and...Laurent.

"Yes, I would have to agree with you there. And of course I support your relationship. You two are obviously smitten with one another. You're good for him." I had explained everything to Esme and Carlisle in my new mission to be as honest and trusting of them as possible.

I could only smile at her as she walked down the sidewalk humming some tune I didn't know. She didn't even seem to mind my slow human pace. We had just left the market in the city, and were walking back to the car. Esme was carrying the majority of the paper bags—without any problems, of course—but she did let me carry the eggs at my insistence.

"Esme, what are all these long lines about?" We were passing an unmarked storefront. There were probably seventy-five people standing in a long line winding around the corner waiting. It looked like the latest AirJordans were about to drop or something. We had passed another similar looking lineup a few blocks up the street.

"It's the bread lines. There are a lot of people suffering right now. Times are hard. We've been very fortunate ourselves with our finances, but not many others can say the same." She murmured with a look of pity. She politely smiled at a elderly woman who I noticed wasn't wearing any shoes. She passed the woman a bill which she must have had in her pocketbook, and the woman nearly burst into tears thanking her for it.

Bread lines? Wait a minute...I was thinking back to my seventh grade history class. The stock market crashed in the late twenties...1929. That had only been two years ago...shiioot.—Very nice catch, Iris—The Great Depression. These people were not just having hard times. They were suffering through the worst financial crisis of the twentieth century. They were most likely jobless, underpaid, behind on their bills, starving, homeless, or all of the above. I had to do something. What are you going to do, single handedly save the millions of people out of work and homes and bring the economy back out of its recession? Argh!

This was horrible. Here I was feeling sorry for myself, and I was actually far better off than the average person all because I was piggy backing off of the Cullen's hard work. It went against everything I had done for myself in my life. I had grown complacent back in Forks, and then I woke up with the Volturi, and then there were all the death threats...now, I had the chance to have a happy, semi-normal life. I had to help and be a productive citizen. I wasn't a vampire—yet—so I didn't have to necessarily live with the restrictions that the Cullens did. I could find my calling in this place, a distraction from all that was happening with Edward.

I smiled to myself as I climbed into the large two-doored monster of a car that Esme and Carlisle shared. I thought about what I should do all the way home.

When we got back to the house, Esme offered to make dinner for me before her meeting with a local art dealer, but I told her that I'd be fine on my own. Carlisle was at work, and Edward was out hunting again. He had been going every two days for several hours since we got here. I was proud of him. His eyes were already diluted to a bright orange. My man...

The hunting trips did leave me with time alone, though, which we've established isn't alway a good thing for me. Hey! I've been totally fine for the last week. No fights, no murderous vampires, nothing! I'm fine!

I was wandering the huge house looking for nothing in particular when I stumbled upon a closed door which I had probably passed by multiple times, but hadn't thought to open. I turned the knob, and it swung open easily. There were multiple bulky looking pieces of furniture-shaped objects in the room, but it was hard to tell. Everything in the room was covered with white sheets. I walked to the back wall near a large bay window where the largest and oddest-shaped object rested. I pulled the sheet back and gawked at what I saw. It was a sleek, black Steinway Grand Piano. It was absolutely gorgeous. I recognized the instrument because it was just like the one in Forks, probably the same one.

I looked over my shoulder, knowing that I was alone, but I felt weird to be in this secluded room with dust-covered furniture. I took a seat on the bench and rested my hands on the keys.

I had never told Edward, but when I was younger—ages 4 to 15 to be exact—my mother had forced me to take lessons. I'm pretty sure she had been boinking my teacher who was ten years her junior, but whatever. My parents sucked so bad. It's a wonder I wasn't more screwed up than I already was...

I was decent at playing, but music wasn't my passion like it was with Edward. I didn't suck but also didn't necessarily excel at playing either, so I had been too embarrassed to play with Edward around.

For the last week, it felt like I was trapped in a black and white Gene Harlow film. The dresses were gorgeous. The finger-waved hairstyles were classic, and the movies and music filled me with nostalgic memories of watching old films with my Grandmother on Turner Classic Movies channel. However, I missed the music of my youth and even some of the newer stuff—Lizzo especially.

I wasn't sure if I would mess with the space time continuum or something if I exposed too much of the future, but surely a little modern music here in the house wouldn't screw anything up, right?

I ran my fingers up and down the keys playing some basic chords, reintroducing myself to the feel of the keys and the pedal beneath my foot. I would play from time to time back in Atlanta when I would go to the community center. They had an old, out of tune upright piano, but it was still fun to play around on.

I cracked up after a few minutes when I remembered the notes to play Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." As much as I rat on my parents, I was kind of a shitty kid, which I blame whole-heartedly on them, but I definitely didn't make things easy for my mom. She had been the one to force me into playing the piano, saying that it would make me more well-rounded and more disciplined or some bullshit, so I used the lessons to learn to play awesome rock music. I mean, I could play anything from Led Zepplin to the All-American Rejects. I could even play some Black Eyed Peas stuff.

I was really getting into my Queen now. Hell yes!

"Mamaaaaaaaa! Ooh, Ooh, Oooooh! I don't wanna die! I sometimes wish I'd never been born at aaaaaaa—Holy shit!"

"Iris?" I slammed on the keys when I started at the sound of a low chuckle by my ear.

"God! You scared the hell out of me!" I shrieked.

"Isn't that a good thing? Why would you want hell inside of you?" Edward bit back a smile. Cocky jerk. Ugh I love him so much.

I covered my face and steadied my breath as I shook in embarrassed laugher. "Touché."

"What was that anyway?" Edward's interest was piqued.

"That, my dear, was the future of music!" I held my arms out in feigned wonder and let the phrase hang in the air.

"That was NOT music." He deadpanned. Those are fighting words. I'll take you down, Cullen. Freddy Mercury is my spirit animal! Edward quirked his brow at me.

"Queen is one of the most influential bands of the twentieth century. They're going to rock your world. They even have an entire song about how much they will rock you. Here, I'll play i—"

"No, thank you." He laughed heartily. "Why didn't you tell me that you could play? I didn't really enjoy the song choice, but your execution was nearly perfect."

"Nearly?" Pffft. Edward smiled angelically. "Maybe because my soulmate is the greatest pianist to ever live. You are a lot to live up to." I retorted and pursed my lips playfully.

"I wouldn't say the greatest ever, but I won't stop you from saying so..." His mouth turned up into his crooked grin. Oh, so that's how you want to play? Ok.

"Fine, Here's a nice BORING classical piece which may impress you then..." I rolled my eyes and turned back to the piano. I began to play Liszt's "La Campanella." It had been a hit at my last recital at 15 years old. I even received a standing ovation for the piece, thank you very much. This time it was a bit slower than it was meant to be played, and I had to stumble through some parts in the middle of the arrangement. But overall, I killed it. Suck it, Cullen!

"I'm not sure what 'suck it' is supposed to mean or 'killed it' but that was breathtaking..." Edward's face was awed.

Spoil sport had to take my fun moment of picking on him and turn it into a sincere compliment... "Thank you." I shrugged, embarrassed by the sudden emotional reaction from him. I just wanted to goof off, not fish for compliments from the piano wizard over here. "You wouldn't happen to have a guitar or ukulele around here would you?"

He frowned in confusion, "We did at one point, but I'm not sure where Esme packed it. I think they kept all my instruments hidden..." his frown deepened as he looked around, but then he perked back up. "Do you play that as well?"

Do I play? Hah. He just asked if I play. Now, I may have been forced to learn piano, but the guitar? I spent many days and nights locked in my closet with my laptop opened to YouTube so I could master the instrument. I wanted to be cool like Avril Lavigne. Now THAT was my instrument. "I'll show you what I can do if you can find it..." I grinned deviously, and he laughed.

"Alright." He suddenly whirled around me, ripping the cloths off of everything surrounding us to reveal a sitting area at the center of the room and several other instruments—trumpet and violin included—on display. Then he stopped and was holding a beautiful, cheery wood, acoustic guitar. "Here you are. Now play." He demanded lightly in amusement.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I don't know anything from this era, but let's see if you like any of the stuff from the decades to come. I'll keep it softer this time..." I smirked. Hmm what to play...something sweet, not too scary for the vampire...Coldplay. No one could refute the brilliance of Chris Martin, especially not when they heard "Yellow." I smiled in anticipation, and Edward mirrored my expression.

"I love how excited you are about this." He murmured, tucking a loose hair back into a pin behind my ear, and I stuck out my tongue at him as I started to strum.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and everything you do, yeah they were all yellow..." I began to sing, and the awed expression returned to his face. His eyes filled with venomous tears which would never fall, and he stayed that way until I finished the song. The last note hung in the silence as he stared at me.

I shifted back and forth awkwardly on the bench where I still sat. I couldn't tell if he liked it or not. He looked kind of sad or depressed...ok, not the reaction I was going for. I should have stuck with something upbeat, maybe some Tyler the Creator or something...I didn't think his turn of the century mind could handle rap yet though. His virgin ears would fall off if—

"No, I loved it. Your voice is angelic, perfect, like you..." he stood from where he had crouched, and closed the distance between us, taking only my hands in his cool ones. I didn't miss that he was very careful these last few days to maintain a certain amount of distance between us."I can't believe how incredibly lucky I am to have you here with me. I'm sorry that I've been distant. I'm going to be honest with you, though. I'm still struggling even with the frequent hunting trips. It's not going to be enough. I have to go. I'm sorry. I'm leaving as soon as Carlisle gets home in a few minutes. I just wanted to come say goodbye first."

I looked into his eyes. Now that he was closer, I could see that they were darker than they should have been if he just came back from hunting. What...?

"I will beat this. I have to. I just need more time, and I can't risk slipping while you're around. I promise to return as soon as it's safe." My heart was breaking. We were going to be apart...again. I knew it was necessary, but it didn't make this panicked feeling go away.

I put on a brave face for him, despite the fact that I knew he could read my contradicting thoughts. "It's alright. I will be fine. I was just thinking of ways to distract myself if you had to leave anyway. I'll miss you so much, but when you come back, we can pick right back up, right?" I smiled, ignoring the tears brimming in my eyes.

Edward reached across to brush a tear which began to fall from my cheek. "We can do better than pick right back up. We will can be closer. I don't even trust myself to kiss you again right now, but I promise, love, I will do better for you." He moved his hand to cup my cheek, and I closed my eyes as I leaned into it unable to verbally respond.

"Please behave yourself while I'm gone. I don't want to hear of anymore running away or fights. And please, in the name of all things good, do not find any stray wolves if you can help it."

I huffed out a wet, snotty laugh as he reminded me that he had all my memories or our time in Forks.

"No promises." I teased, and he rolled his eyes playfully.

"Be good, and I may have a surprise for you when I come back."

"Ooh goody." He laughed at my grimace at the way he sounded like he was bribing me the way you did a toddler. _If you're really good in the store, I'll get you some candy_!

He couldn't contain his laughter at that thought. "Well, for being nearly mentally thirty-two years old, you do tend to tune into your youthful, more exuberant side..."

"I'm just recapturing my youth. I thought you might appreciate having a young, obviously gorgeous piece of eye candy." I wagged my eyebrows, and it reminded me of Emmett. I missed him. I missed all of my missing family members...

Edward frowned. "You're lonely here."

"No, it's fine. I have you, and Esme and Carlisle. I'll be fine for a few weeks while you're gone."

"Iris," Edward looked like he wanted to say something but hesitated to finish.

"What is it?" I reached out to smooth the frown that had formed at his brow.

"It will probably be much longer than a few weeks..."

"A month?" I could do a month. I wouldn't be happy about it, but it could work. I'd be fine. A month is just four little weeks, twenty-eight to thirty days. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

"Possibly a year or more." He spoke in a low voice, trying to read my eyes which had widened. My mouth hung open in a perfect "o."

"A year?" I silently mouthed. A year? OR MORE?!

"I'm sorry... I have to—"

"I know. You have to. I'm sorry that I'm making this so difficult for you. If I weren't here, you wouldn't have to leave your family again. This is all my fault..."

Edward's face grew angry. "No. Don't do that!" His voice was forceful. "It's my fault for straying from Carlisle's lifestyle in the first place. I was arrogant and idiotic to think that I knew better just because I can glimpse into other's minds. If I would have stayed on the animal blood diet, I wouldn't feel so guilty about taking so many human's lives all the time or struggle to even stand by my mate. Iris, I want all of those things you mentioned before for us—marriage, children, to...make love to you..." he paused and looked down as his eyes grew even darker. "But we can't have those things just yet because I thought I had it all figured out. I'm so sorry." He continued to look down.

"They were murderers. Killers. You stopped them. I understand—especially now that you are having to fight that much more to be around me—why you want to go back to your vegetarian diet, but don't feel guilty for those terrible men you stopped. You don't know the number of families you saved from grieving after one of those psychos would have taken someone they loved from them. Let me remind you that the whole reason I'm here in this world at all is because a man decided that his grief over his own poor choices was more important than my life. I'm not saying that he deserved death, but if it came down to me versus him, I surely hope you'd choose me. Maybe that's wrong, but I'm done being a victim." The conviction in my voice was unmistakeable. I really hope I didn't freak him out with what I said, but it needed to be put out there.

"I will always choose you. That's why you have to leave."

What? "You mean why YOU have to leave?" Why did he say that? Vampires don't trip over their words like humans. Oh God.

"No, I just realized. You can drift ahead to a time when I'm not struggling. Go forward, and I'll wait for you. I promise. I will always be searching for you." He stood and walked over to the window absentmindedly. His movement away from me was odd given what he was saying...

Hell no! I was just getting settled here. "No! It's just a year. I won't leave you again. I can't control it. I was aiming for 2005 this time and wound up in 1931. What if I woke up in the year 3000?!" I was screeching.

"I would still be waiting for you." He stated simply, but wouldn't meet my eyes. "I won't force you. I can't, obviously, but I was just offering a solution to our current problem. Just think about it. I can do the hard work now, and you can skip ahead to the good stuff." He winked at me. He was doing it again. He was putting on a show to hide the true turmoil he felt. This was getting really ridiculous.

"Stop acting like everything is fine! You have to go? Then go! You want me to leave you in your time of deepest hurt and strife? Hell no. I won't do it." My voice continued to raise in pitch. I was gasping for air as sobs threatened to rip out of me.

He finally looked back to me, but I was crying again. Damnit these tears will be the death of me! "Iris, everything is not fine. I will hate every second that you're away from me, but I'm trying my absolute very best to not strike you down right now as we speak." He gulped, but continued. "I am not ending this, obviously, I will search to the ends of the earth for you if I have to. But like I said, if you go now, you can save us both the grief and get to our happily ever after." He was speaking slower now and maintaining eye contact as he gradually backed away. His body movement was off, too stiff. I blinked back the stupid tears which continued to fall and tried to follow after him, but he threw out his hands in a gesture meant to keep me away. Then I noticed them. His eyes were pitch black. Oh shit.

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	49. ParentalGuidance

Ch. 49 Parental Guidance

I tried to keep my voice calm and maintain my gaze with the beautiful, yet tortured vampire in front of me. "Edward? I'm not going to leave just yet, but I do think that you should. I will wait for you no matter how long it takes. I'm sorry that I didn't listen before when you were trying to tell me that you were struggling. I should have taken your warnings more seriously, and know that I love you. Please go now..." I know you don't want to do this...

"Iris...I can't..." he was holding his breath and still backing away one foot at a time, trying to make his way out the door. He was indisputably fighting to leave before he attacked me.

"I love you." I repeated with a nod of my head, and he seemed to straighten slightly out of his crouch with a look of renewed determination and force himself to take the last few steps out the door with a last fleeting glance toward me.

I thought I heard him whisper as he disappeared in a blur, "love..." and he was gone. My breath caught in my throat.

"Iris?" Carlisle was instantly at my side. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, but Edward—" I started.

"Will be fine." He finished for me, his voice light. That's not what I was going to say... "He's quite stubborn when he's decided on doing something, and right now he's intent on recommitting to our lifestyle. He's gone now, so let's go find something for you to eat. You will have to excuse me for not knowing how to cook, though. My wife is much better at this part of the charade." He waved his hand at nothing in particular and chuckled.

I forced myself to smile. I had always admired Carlisle's ability to remain so calm in the storm. That's what I had been like when I was caring for other people, but with my own life, I was a disaster. "Don't worry about it. I'm sure I can find some leftover food to heat on the stove. I'm the only one eating after all..."

He patted my back in consolation. He had this uncanny way of knowing when he needed to speak versus when to only offer silent moral support. It was a gift of subtlety which I could certainly learn something from.

Later in the afternoon, I was laying across my bed making shadows on the floor with my hands as the sun streamed through the window. I missed Edward already. I had no one else in this time. Esme and Carlisle were amazing, but they had already established their life and routine here. I thought again of my calling. What could that be? I wanted to help those suffering people somehow. Wait a minute...I'm a trained nurse. It might look a bit different in this era, but the goal in the job was about the same...Help people feel better. I'm sure my twenty-first century understanding of disease processes and pathophysiology could only be an asset.

I sat up, finally excited about something. I loved Edward, but he had become my entire life. My world centered around him so totally that I had forgotten how to behave without him. I had possibly a year—OR MORE! Shit!—without him. I needed to find myself. I had to take this time to recenter my focus, and this would be perfect!

"Carlisle?!" I called as I ran into the hall.

"What is it?" He appeared before me from a blur looking concerned. "Are you alright?" He looked around me as if someone was going to jump out at him.

"Did Edward mention to you what I did for a living in my past life by chance?" I couldn't hide the smile forming on my lips.

"No, I don't believe that he did." He tilted his head at my expression.

"I was a nurse." I said with an even wider smile.

"That's wonderful." He smiled, but it was a reserved look, like he was entertaining a child. "Is there a reason that you wanted to speak about this now?" He looked amused.

"Edward is gone, and I need to do something. I want to be here for him, but I can't spend every day staring out the window, wondering when he will come home. I want to help people. Could I do something at the hospital? I wouldn't have to be a nurse. I could do aid work? Or maybe help clean bandages? Anything. I'm young, healthy, able-bodied, and available for work." I stated seriously.

Carlisle seemed to be deliberating. "We have been short staffed lately, but with all the budgetary cuts, the job wouldn't pay much..."

"Oh..." Was he suggesting that I needed to find a job to help support myself while Edward was gone? I guess it was rather presumptuous of me to assume that they would financially support me. I wasn't trying to come off as a person who would take advantage. "I...I could find another job too at night...or whenever...to help pay my way here. It's not like I have anything else going on at the moment..." I frowned as I looked to the ground. What the hell was I going to do for work during the fucki—freaking—Great Depression?!

He must have seen my panicked expression. "Oh, Iris, no! That's not what I meant at all. I just didn't want you to feel like you were being taken advantage of. You would earn the same amount as all the other women who work there. I just assumed that taking the adjusted inflation over the next ninety years into account you would be used to seeing a different amount of compensation for your time." Such an intelligent man...I guess that's what living for over three centuries would do for you.

"No, no. I'll work for free. I just want to help. Please, I need this." The desperation in my face and voice couldn't be misunderstood. I truly needed this piece of my life back. I had gotten so deep into this Twilight mess—as happy as I was to be here—that I had forgotten who I was. I looked hopefully back at my fatherly mentor.

He look decidedly back at me. "Ok, I'll ask the head nurse this evening."

"Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou!"

He was laughing at my excitement. "You really want this, don't you?"

"Yes. I want to feel useful again. I want to give back. I need to pay...penance...for all that I've done." I frowned as images from Volterra returned to me and I shuddered. I was a monster...

"Well I won't keep you then. I'll let you know by the morning. Have to return to work now. Esme just arrived home downstairs. Please let her know if you need anything."

"I will. Thank you for everything, Carlisle. You're so much better than my own father."

"Well, with respect to your father—"

"Don't bother. He was awful." I grimaced.

Carlisle frowned in pity. "He must have done something right for you to be as you are. I hope in time you might view me as a father then. You've done so much for us by helping Edward the way that you have. We already view you as a daughter." My face grew hot. Carlisle was so compassionate. It was truly a blessing to be in his presence.

I lunged into a hug with him, catching him off guard. He caught me by reflex as I nearly fell over in a very Bella-ish way. Ahh the good old, body-stealing days, back when everything was so simple...

He chuckled as he helped me right myself, but gave me a proper hug once I was upright. "Everything will be fine...You'll see. I can tell already that you've got such a drive in you, so much passion which will help keep you afloat while you wait for him."

"Thank you again. You have no idea what that means for me to hear that coming from you. I respect you deeply for all the amazing things you have done and continue to do each day. Not many people would have handled your situation the way which you have."

He smiled slightly. "Sometimes in life, you just do the best you can with what you're offered."

"Well, you have definitely done so."

"Thank you. I'll see you in the morning, hopefully with good news."

"Goodnight, dad." I winked at him, and he chuckled as he gently pat my shoulder before turning to leave.

I found Esme in the kitchen.

"I hope you like pot roast. It takes a while to bake, but I've heard so many wonderful things about it from the ladies in my 'Helping Hands for Hunger' charity group. I can't taste it myself though." Esme looked troubled at the prospect.

"You're too good for your own good if that makes sense, Esme." I laughed, and she joined in.

"I can't have you withering away. Edward would never forgive me." She smiled in jest.

"Trust me, I'll never starve. If anything, I'll be much heavier by the time Edward returns..." Esme laughed again as I made a face.

"Go ahead and clean up, dear. I'll have dinner ready when you come back down."

"You're the mother I never had, Esme. Thank you." I looked at her with genuine adoration. Edward, and now I too, was so lucky. This had to be like hitting the supernatural jackpot to be here with this brilliant family.

"Are you trying to butter me up?" She smiled.

"I was hoping that flattery would get me dessert." I joked.

"Oh, hmm...I could throw together—"

"No, I'm kidding. Of course, I love both you and Carlisle so much. I know I'm rather new to you both here, but I know you each from the books and my time in the future with you. You're wonderful." I pecked her on the cheek, and she looked shocked. She lifted her hand slowly to her face, and looked like she might cry. I simply grinned and walked away to get ready for dinner.

Things were looking up for all of us. This was going to work. It had to.

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	50. DoNoHarm

Ch. 50 Do No Harm

"Mr. Collins, how are you feeling today? Any better?"

"I think... I will survive, Iris." The white-haired and bearded older man had to pause to cough before he offered a near toothless smile. He was not doing well...Shit. Please be ok. You're like the bald-mouthed version of the sweet old man off of the first Harry Potter movie who played Dumbledore—the guy who took over after the first actor was too gruff and creepy to play the part...personal opinion—and I couldn't stand it if nice Dumbledore freaking died before my very eyes!

"Good. How about I get this mess out of the way for you?" I handed him a glass of water and moved to change his sheets for the day. I had been working at the same small hospital as Carlisle for a little over three months as a nurse's aid, and I was living under the guise that I was Esme's niece. I wasn't too prideful to accept the job though it was not a nursing position, but, honestly, it would have been really suspicious if I had swooped in here in my nineteen year old body acting like I owned the place. No, I would keep my head down and work my way up. I had worked as a CNA for several years before nursing school. This was not too different—Maybe more mopping—but I could do that.

I needed to grab some more linens for my next bed change from down in the storage room, so I made way downstairs. The phone was ringing off the hook. Now usually there would be multiple ladies working the desk, but Tilley had called in sick, and Violet left early for an appointment of her own. I wasn't sure where Agnes went...maybe to the back room...

"Hello, Dr. Cullen's office." I answered in my best secretary voice—you know the one where your voice becomes unnaturally high, the result of a biologically ingrained defense mechanism to seem as non-threatening as possible.

"Help! Help! Please! He needs a doctor!" I looked up from the desk to see a young girl, maybe in her early twenties or so, dragging an older man in a brown suit through the door.

"I'm sorry, there's an emergency. Please call back later for an appointment!" I slammed the phone down without waiting for an answer...Let Agnes smooth that over in a bit. "What is it?" I fell to my knees beside the man who was clutching his chest. Oh fucking shit!

"Arrrrr—" An awful noise left the man's mouth before he passed out. His lips were cyanotic. No no no...

"Carlisle!" I called as I fumbled to find a pulse, which of course there was none. I instantly began performing chest compressions.

All my training and natural instincts from years past were resurfacing. It was pure muscle memory at this point after so many times of this exact scenario in the ER and ICU"...28, 29, 30..." ok two breaths—1, wait..., 2. Compressions..."...3, 4, 5, 6..." I was mouthing to myself as I forced the chest in and waited for the recoil at the rhythm of one hundred beats per minute. I was actually humming the tune of 'Staying Alive' in my mind to keep up the pace while I counted. "26, 27, 28, 29, 30..." Two breaths... I could think of nothing else besides the task at hand. I did several cycles this way. Compressions, head tilt, breaths, repeat...before finally I heard Carlisle beside me.

"What are you—oh. Genius...Let me." He pushed me aside to continue my method. He even pretended to breath heavily with exertion for the sake of the scared girl who watched us in horror and fascination from a few feet away.

"Thirty compressions to two breaths, Carlisle!" I heaved through my heavy breathing, and leaned against the wall. It had been awhile. I forgot how much doing compressions and the adrenaline rushing through you would take it out of you...Fuck I'm out of shape.

There was a quick intake of air, and a quiet noise that sounded like, "Gugh..."

"Daddy?!" The girl flung herself to the man. He didn't respond, but it was obvious that he was breathing again, our resuscitative efforts were not pointless. I sighed in relief and shot a look over at Carlisle who, while still assessing the man—stethoscope and all—spared a glance back at me. He had the oddest expression, borderline in wonder and a smile.

Agnes finally reappeared and she looked awful. A stomach bug was going around the office, and had probably gotten around to her.

The man was sent up to a ICU type unit, which really wasn't too different from the other wards except that it had more bed-ridden, deathly looking patients...sigh...come on twenty first century medicine!

A few hours later when I finally finished my shift I stood in the bathroom staring in the mirror as I washed my hands absentmindedly. I had a headache. My arms hurt. My stomach felt like it was churning on itself.

I had pushed through the whole scenario earlier out of shear reflex, not mentally processing what was happening, but now a myriad of emotions were all assaulting me at once. I sunk to the floor as images of John's wife came back...the peaceful woman who died too young...doing compressions on her...I didn't save her...the the feeling of having compressions performed on myself. I winced in remembered pain before crawling to the toilet just fast enough to heave my lunch from four hours ago into it. Oh God. I nearly lost that man. It was like it was happening all over again. The woman. The water basin. John. The gunshot. Sandy's screams. Aro. All the blood. The fucking blood...Holy Shit. I vomited again and again until nothing was left, and I was just dry heaving. My stomach yelled in protest. So many people had died at my hands. I was a monster...so many people...none of them were murderers. I had not even one pitiful excuse besides my own selfishness to cite for their deaths. I was as bad as Ted Bundy or Charles Manson or any of the other psychopaths out there. Edward had it all wrong. I was the one who was damned.

I curled into a ball in the floor, and let my anxiety, panic, sadness, shame, anger, fear...all of it consumed me. I cried and cried some more, unable to follow anything going on around me. Fucking shit!

"Iris?!" It was Agnes whose voice broke through my walls. She was on the outside of the stall I hid in.

I pushed myself up off the floor, swiping furiously at my eyes. I'm sure I looked like shit, but oh well. Hide it. Shove it all back inside, Iris. You're going to scare her. "Agnes? Sorry, did you need something?"

"Are you alright? You sounded upset. Dr. Cullen asked me to come check on you when you didn't come back outside. I think he's ready to go home." Her voice was timid. She was a very meek girl. She would never murder people for the hell of it...

Carlisle must have heard me acting crazy in here, and sent in Agnes rather than barging into the women's restroom himself. There's no way he missed that show. I blew my nose into a tissue, standing up and brushing at my skirt, and sweeping a few strays hairs back. I counted to three and took a deep breath before opening the stall door.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaken up after today. Thank you, Agnes. Please tell Dr. Cullen that I'll be out in just a second." I forced myself to smile at the girl. She was older physically than me I guess, but my psyche was all messed up with the time travel and reversed aging... this is probably how the vampires felt after several decades of being stuck in their never-aging bodies. It's all very confusing, or maybe I'm just exceptionally slow to understand...

Agnes looked like she wasn't sure if she should leave me, but finally she walked out. I looked at myself in the mirror again. To say that I was a hot mess would be too kind. I was fucking freak show. Mascara was all over my cheeks. My hair had fallen half out of the messy bun I had pinned this morning. My shirt was untucked, and there were smudges on my skirt. A fucking disaster for sure.

I quickly washed my face and fixed my clothes as best I could, pulling my jacket which I had left resting on the sink before over my shirt to cover what I could. I smoothed my skirt once more and rearranged my hair before leaving the restroom.

Carlisle was just outside the door. He didn't say anything until we reached the car. He had graciously offered the umbrella as it rained on our walk to the lot. As soon as the car door closed, he turned to me. "Iris? You were amazing earlier. You saved that man. Your technique was so innovative." He was smiling ear to ear. His expression filled with awe and pride.

"I know." I said simply looking to my lap. I didn't want to sound arrogant, but I did know the benefits of effective cardio-pulmonary resuscitative efforts. I had done my master's thesis on it a few years ago...or ninety years from now...whatever. I shrugged to myself.

"Then what's wrong?" Carlisle huffed out a bewildered laugh. Save a man and you should be happy, right? Not quite...

"It just brought back some not so good memories. I'm fine now."

"It's ok if you need to talk about it."

"Thank you, but I'm more of a wallower. I'll let you know if I change my mind though..." I'm a fucking monster. You wouldn't understand. You're too pure...too good.

"It might not be exactly the same situation, but I do know what it's like to not be able to talk about the things which effect you the most. I spent nearly three centuries alone. These last fifteen years have been the greatest of my existence since I have a family now...people who can listen and truly understand. It's not healthy for your mind to compress so much of itself all the time. You're not alone now, Iris, never forget that."

'You're not alone...' Edward had said back in Denali and so many other times...I sighed to myself. You said you would be honest with them. You have to talk about these things with someone and Edward isn't here.

"I know we briefly explained things to you when I arrived so suddenly—the books, my...err...trip here, and time with your family...the Volturi..." I paused to take a moment to calm my beating heart. Carlisle looked to me patiently but intently. "...but I failed to tell you the exact details of everything. This might be more than you're asking for..."

"Go on." He encouraged.

"My parents were fond of alcohol. Like, I'm pretty sure they loved the stuff more than they loved me. I had an overall terrible childhood. I had no siblings, my parents fought a lot. It was lonely, and there was physical abuse involved with the ridiculous amount of alcohol intake...but we had money, so many of the typical markers for abusive situations were ignored and pushed aside for the sake of keeping up appearances. I learned pretty quickly that if I wanted something, I had to do it on my own, or risk more yelling, berating, or...beating..." I shook my head and laughed bitterly. "I left my home at the age of sixteen, and made my own way through school. I had just finished my masters in nursing before I came here, which I know may be shocking or maybe mean very little to you in this time since the job of a nurse isn't as respected yet, but it's quite the feat in 2020, especially since I had to save my own money and live without my parents from such a young age." I looked out the window. Carlisle had been silently listening as he drove. He pulled into the driveway and turned to look at me seriously.

"I'm sorry, Iris. That sounds like it was a very difficult time for you." He reaches across the console to place his hand on my forearm gently. "May I ask what happened earlier?"

"It's hard to explain...That man...the one whose heart stopped today...it just reminded me of some bad stuff. Carlisle, I'm worried that I'm so lost, so damaged, that I may never get my happy ending. I don't...deserve it. Every time I get close—that Edward and I are nearly there—something happens to mess things up again. I keep screwing things up."

"I'm not sure I understand. What could possibly be so terrible?" He was studying my face for the answers, always the observationist.

"When I left Edward the first time back in Forks...I woke up, and I was with the Volturi..."

"Yes, Edward told us that you spent some time with them, but that didn't seem to be your fault—"

"No, but what I did with them...or rather what I didn't stop them from doing to me was my fault."

"I'm not following." Oh he was going to kick me out on the streets when he heard this. Iris, you should just shut up. No, I have to be honest. I need to say this. Ugh I want to vomit again...

"I killed thousands of humans. I knew there was a better way. I know your philosophy, and I wholeheartedly support it, but I didn't want things to be so hard anymore. I didn't want to give a damn about anyone but myself. It was easy—horrifyingly easy—to just give in to my vampiric nature...maybe even my human nature and do the selfish thing. I drank more than my share, gorged myself, without concern about who it was or where they were from...if they had families...what if they had children? What if they had an Edward out there waiting for them? What if...what if..." I could barely breath. I was wheezing in and out.

"Iris." Carlisle tried to get my attention, but I wasn't having it.

He wasn't going to talk me out of this. I didn't deserve to feel at peace about my decisions to take innocent lives. I couldn't recall one of their faces. Not one! Damnit! Damnit all. I was so fucking sick! How could I? How did I do it? Why did I think that changing some bed sheets and mopping the floors would atone for the sins I had committed? Shit! What the hell was wrong with me?!

"Iris?!" Carlisle's voice rose in panic, but I could barely hear it.

"I did it...it was my...fault...auhh...I can't...breathe...I—" Everything went black.

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	51. BlankSlate

Ch. 51 Blank Slate

"Welcome Iris." A familiar female voice spoke.

I blinked. I was in the place with all the lights...The plane of neutrality. No! No! I don't want to leave. I can't...my whole life was there...with the Cullens. If anything good were to ever come from me, it had to be with them... I wanted to cry, but just like Jasper's ability to calm, the neutrality of this plane was working its magic. I couldn't remain here with these feelings of stress. I couldn't—

It was warm. Or cold. It didn't matter. I floated along, unable to remember why I had been so upset before. Did it matter? Wasn't it better here? Couldn't I just stay here in this state of numbness? Surely nothing of consequence could happen here in the nothingness...

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	52. OnTheRoadAgain

Thank you for all the kind—and not so kind...haha—reviews! All the feedback is very helpful. I read each and every one of your reviews, but sometimes it's difficult to reply without giving too much away.

Please be understanding with any grammar errors or mistypes. I try to go back and edit these chapters before posting, but I have little ones at home who distract me. I write on my phone, so a lot of words get autocorrected too which is sometimes helpful, but also...annoying.

I'm so glad everyone seems to be responding so well to the unconventional directions I have taken the story. I know the ending I want, but I go back and forth on a lot of the ways we could get there. I have been using this story as a bit of a creative writing exercise. I will sometimes make Iris say something random just to see how the other characters would react to it. It helps me keep the other characters...in character...haha! These chapters are written, edited, and posted in real time btw. I have some stories which are written ahead of time and waiting to be posted, but with this one I'm having fun making it up as we go! : D

As always,

Happy Reading!

Ch. 52 On The Road Again

I was still floating along, enjoying the warmth and ambiguity of the space while humming to myself. I belatedly recognizer the tune as "Yellow" by Coldplay. I couldn't get the notes out of my head. They seemed to play again and again and again...

"And you know, For you I'd bleed myself dry, For you I'd bleed myself dry..."

"You are singing." The male voice stated.

"I am, and you know what? You're my best friend, man."

"Alright, Iris." He answered blandly.

"You should say thank you."

"Thank you." Again it was a simple reply.

"Put some emotion into it! I just told you that you're my favorite!"

"I have neither joy nor distress at your approval of me."

"Ugh. I think I like woman better now."

"Thank you, Iris." The female voice stated just as simply as the male voice had.

"You sound like a robot too." I noted. God, I was bored.

"I am neither here nor there. I am made of everything and nothing. I could not be a robot."

"You guys are really something sometimes."

"I don't know how to respond to that."

"Of course you don't, robot." I rolled my eyes.

"I am not a robot."

"Ok, robot."

"I am not a robot."

Ugh...this could go on forever. I don't know why man or woman even bothered answering me. No matter how hard I tried to get a rise out of them, they just didn't care.

"Iris!" Wow. Now, that's some emotion. Bravo, dude. It was kind of refreshing to hear the panicked voice. Wait, that's not the male voice I had grown accustomed to hearing. Who was that?!

"IRIS!" The man was more insistent...maybe even a little...angry?

"Man, that's not you is it?"

"I am many things, and I am nothing. What, in particular, do you think I am?"

"The screaming! Can't you hear it?!"

"I am neither here nor there. I am neither—"

"Argh! Shut up!"

"Alright."

"Iris, please!" He was calling. I felt a tug originating somewhere from my center, and I didn't fight it. It felt somehow...right...to let go.

•PTaT•

"Iris!" I woke up to someone still calling my name. I blinked, trying to open my eyes, but they were very heavy and closed right away.

"Whaa..?" I croaked in my blindness. My mouth was dry. I felt like death. My head hurt. My back hurt. It all hurt, and I felt like something heavy was sitting on top of me.

"Iris? Oh, thank God." The male voice sobbed in relief.

"What...who...is...it?" I was wheezing. I had to take shallow breaths and cough weakly to clear my throat enough to force any sound to come out. The male voice was so smooth, so familiar. Why couldn't I put a name to it?

I tried again to open my eyes. They were watering and stinging as I blinked furiously. I couldn't see anyone immediately, and my body was too weak to look any further than where I laid. I was in a bedroom, my room, I recalled. It was quiet besides the man's voice.

"I thought you were gone...You were so still, so pale. I can't lose you." He murmured through his sobs. He sounded terribly upset. I wanted to reach out to him and console him, but where was he? Then I felt a cool hand encircle mine and it all came back. Edward. How could I not remember Edward?!

"Yes, I'm here." He moved into my view. He was so handsome. Perfect. His eyes were a bright golden hue. I'm so proud... "Thank you, love." He smiled and leaned over to brush his lips against my cheek.

"What...hap—" I still struggled to catch my breath. What the hell was wrong with me?!

"Don't try so hard please. You are weak. I can read your thoughts, remember?" He chuckled weakly, the tension still present in his voice. Then he fully sobered. "You're sick. Carlisle says it's bad...incurable. You have been febrile for the last week."

A week? A week?! I had been sick...and Edward was here? Why was Edward here...? Edward is here!

"Carlisle came to find me. He was worried that there was something else going on. He wanted me to try to read your thoughts while you were unconscious..." He looked to be in pain. He shouldn't be here. This was too hard for him. "I'm fine for now. Iris, don't worry about me...Your mind...it was totally blank. You weren't here. What happened?"

I showed him the place I had just come from, and he nodded. "I see." His voice was low, disappointed. I hated the expression on his beautiful face. It didn't fit, didn't belong there. "Iris. We have to change you. I'm sorry. There's no other way. I can't lose you. Not now. Not ever."

Wait! You said I'm sick? What's wrong?

"It's pneumonia. We have tried antibiotic therapy, but the disease is quickly spreading in your lungs. We can't stop it."

Which antibiotic?

"The strongest he has at his disposal...Neosalvarsan."

What the hell is that? No, he needs a penicillin in combination with something stronger.

"I don't recognize that name. It's not something we have..." He sounded distraught again. "Iris, what should I do? I can't stay much longer..." I looked into his eyes. They were almost a golden brown. He was struggling again. "Carlisle!" He called.

"Yes...oh Iris! Well done, son." He clapped Edward's shoulder. "Iris, how are you?"

"I—" I began, but had to cough. Carlisle frowned as he watched.

"She's not well. She can barely keep her eyes open. Her fever is higher. She says she need a stronger medicine...Penicillin?"

Carlisle's brow furrowed. "There was talk in London about a possible new treatment option for bacterial infections, but it's still in its trial phases. It won't be available for some time. We have to change her. Iris, I'm sorry, but it's your best chance."

Shit. They had to change me. I was dying. I could feel it.

"I'm sorry, love. I know how badly you wanted that future." He sounded like he might cry for me. He wanted it too. As soon as I heard the pain, the loss in his voice, I knew what I had to do.

"No, Iris, you're too weak! What if you can't find us in time?" He was panicking again. I could see his eyes were darkening still. He couldn't be around me much longer.

Oh mister 'you can do anything! Follow our love!' Now you choose to doubt me?

Edward choked out a pained laugh, and groaned. "Iris...you're so sick. I don't think you understand."

I will do this for you. You deserve a happy ending even if I don't. I'm strong enough...I think...no, I am. I can fight this for you. Wait for me, my love. I smiled as best I could.

"Always..." I heard him say as I closed my eyes and focused on the future...

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	53. RoughLanding

Ch. 53 Rough Landing

I awoke with a gasp, but the action didn't reward me with the relief that it should. My chest was constricting, straining in effort to draw in the oxygen that my lungs so desperately craved. I wasn't able to move very well, so I lifted my head up off the ground as best that I was able to look around to gauge my location. It was dark, and I was lying in grass somewhere...a field. There was no one around that I could see.

Edward..? No one answered.

"...Ed—" I was coughing horridly. It felt like my lungs might come out of my chest. Oh please let someone be here. Please. Please. Please!

Where am I? What have I done? I should have stayed. I should have let them change me...oh God. "Ed..ward!" I gasped in another lungful of air.

The wind blew around me, and it felt like ice. I then realized just how dry the air was...which meant it might snow. Shit. Freaking fantastic! Exactly what a deathly ill pneumonia patient needs...to be left in the fucking snow to die of hypothermia! Edward?!

Ok, I need to move. My new plan was simple—investigate where I was and drift if I didn't find anyone. I rolled over clumsily, yet successfully, by throwing one leg over to the ground and allowing my frail body to follow with the momentum of the movement. I tried to push myself up on to my elbows which would hopefully make it easier for me to get to a standing position, and I was actually almost up to my knees when I lost my balance and fell over with a thud. I immediately hissed out in pain when I felt a crack at my wrist. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Fuck fuck fuck! I cradled my arm to my chest, the position awkward since I was lying facedown in the snow. I cried silently, unable to even squeak out a sound. My lungs felt like they might collapse in on themselves the more that I tried to pull air in. Oh God. I have to go...I love you, Edward...

"As I love you." I heard the voice of an angel reply, velvety smooth and laced with overwhelming peace and joy, before I saw him. Edward lifted me gently, yet passionately, into his arms, kissing me on the forehead. He wasn't deterred, barely slowing to bring me with him as he darted through the trees. He seemed to be running at his full speed. Well, I guessed he was...I couldn't really keep track since I was kind of out of it...

Edward...thank God, I sighed in relief though that just made me want to cough again. Ow...everything hurts...

He tucked me into his chest tighter, but I screamed out in pain as my arm caught between us. He moaned in horror when he realized that I was injured. "Oh Iris, your wrist!" He came to a sudden halt, assessing the fractured bone. "It's broken. Carlisle will have to splint it." He then ran even faster than before if that were possible.

He angled his body in such a way that I was shielded from the wind chill, but he didn't touch my wrist. "I'm so sorry, Love. Forgive me for being late. Alice just saw you a moment before I found you." Alice?! There was obvious pain and concern in his voice, but it was accompanied by an underlying, unmistakeable, sense of happiness. "I missed you more than you'll ever know. I've been so worried all these years..." Years? How long had it been?

"You left us in January of 1932. It's November of 1969." He answered. 1969? Holy Fucking Woodstock. "Sorry, love. You're about three months too late for that spectacle." Spectacle? You've gotta live, man. He almost smiled.

And the moon landing?

"That was July." Damnit. Edward really chuckled that time at my frustration. "You're so ill, and your only concern is that you missed these things?"

Those were pretty fucking big things to miss! I hacked out a cough and moaned—or rather squeaked—and Edward held me tighter.

"We're nearly there." He said in a serious tone.

Where's there?

"Our home in Glasgow, Scotland. You arrived just outside of town where we were about to hunt. Thank goodness we hadn't begun yet..." he visibly shuddered at the thought.

I'm tired...I closed my eyes.

"Not just yet, love. We're here. Look."

He turned me in his arms just enough for me to see a grey stone...building? It seemed too large to be a house yet too small to be a castle, but it had features of both. It was idyllic and charming in true Cullen fashion. I could only enjoy the view for a few seconds before he rushed us inside in a blur, and we were in a room which almost resembled a hospital room with all the medical supplies and equipment.

"Carlisle, it's her!" Edward announced and my favorite paternal vampire showed up instantly.

"Iris, it's so wonderful to see you. Sorry, to cut this short, but I need to work on you quickly."

Edward placed me on a bed where Carlisle waited with supplies to start an IV. I internally sighed at the thought of a doctor performing the task—it was a running joke among nurses whenever a patient would second guess an RN's ability and request a doctor to start their IV because doctors had so little practice at venous insertions. Edward chuckled and squeezed my hand, but didn't say anything.

The IV was inserted and taped up with fluids running within ten seconds. Ok, fine, Carlisle wasn't a usual doctor...Edward laughed again, obviously drunk with happiness at our reunion. He sat beside me on the bed, pulling me under his arm. I didn't fight him. His eyes were a dark gold, but he didn't appear to be uncomfortable. How different things were from only hours before in my timeline.

Edward leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. "I'm totally fine now, love. Please just focus on your own recovery." He whispered into my ear, nuzzling my hair and placing more gentle kisses along my jaw.

"Ok, Iris, your antibiotics are running through your IV. I also gave you some antifebrile medication and a narcotic for pain. We should see a major improvement in your condition throughout the night, though it may take several weeks for you to fully recover."

"Yes, she will be fine." I heard a female voice chirp merrily. Alice!

I wanted to jump up and hug her, but my stupid body wouldn't cooperate. "Al—" I began but she cut me off as I coughed. Edward winced as I did, rubbing my back.

"Hi, Iris. It's so nice to meet you after waiting for you all this time. Sorry I couldn't be faster earlier. It's kind of hard to see you for some reason...Edward says it's because of your drifting." I nodded a little in response. "Well, I'm telling you now. I don't like it. You better figure this out because I'm not going to spend eternity not being able to see my sister!" She pouted, and I could have laughed if it didn't feel like my lungs were filled with two gallons of water.

"I wish we would have had these drugs as an option forty years ago." Carlisle mused as he felt along my now-swollen arm. Yeah, you and me both, Doc.

Edward smiled knowingly to himself but went back to peppering me with kisses. He was so obviously overjoyed to be back with me, and I couldn't blame him. I had only just seen him and was already craving his touch. He had waited thirty-eight years without knowing where I was or if I was alright.

"I...love...you..." I breathed, already feeling the slightest bit better since arriving even as I winced as Carlisle wrapped my wrist.

"You have no idea how much I've missed that." Edward whispered, pretending it was only us in the room. I blushed at the thought of what he might do when we were really alone. Edward chuckled. "All in good time, love. Just rest now. I'm not going anywhere."

I rested my head on his chest, and finally relaxed and allowed myself to drift off to sleep for the first time in what felt like thirty-eight years.

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	54. LetMercyCome

The song mentioned below is "What I've Done" by Linkin Park. Enjoy!

Ch. 54 Let Mercy Come

"Please! No! I have a wife and children—"

The scream cut off suddenly, and I awoke catching my breath after the nightmare I had been having. I threw the blankets away from myself. It was still dark out, and Edward was no where to be found.

I sat up in the bed for awhile as I stared out the window, avoiding going back to sleep in fear of what might be waiting for me there. I had been having the same dream for the last two weeks. I was in the hospital, talking to Mr. Collins back in Rochester Hospital. All of a sudden the doors would burst open and Sandy would be dragging an unconscious George, the sweet elderly man from the real world, into the ER. When I would get to him to begin compressions, he would wake up and yell at me to stop. When I looked down at what he was pointing to, I saw that I was giving him lethal doses of medication in an IV that I didn't even realize he had. Night after night, it was the same thing. I didn't want to dissect the meaning behind it.

A little while later, I found myself wandering in the halls. It was so quiet, too quiet. Maybe everyone went for a hunt...

I walked into the music room, trying to find anyway to avoid going back to bed. I sat at the piano and smiled. It reminded me of the happier part of that day when I sung for Edward the first time. Everything for those few minutes had seemed nearly perfect. Things were nearly perfect now if I could just get over this nagging feeling that remained after my dream.

Carlisle told me that I must have picked up pneumonia from one of the patients at the hospital, and I was very lucky to survive. Pneumonia was one of the top five causes of mortality in the 1930s before there were better treatment options. How many threats to my fragile mortality does that make now since I had arrived in Twilight world? Fifteen? Twenty?

I thought about the conversation Carlisle and I had been having before I drifted that day, but I forced the images back into their space in the dark crevices of my mind. I don't want to revisit that now. Not ever.

I played a soft melody, like a lullaby, attempting to soothe myself through song. Slowly the melody shifted, and I played the same pattern of notes again and again. The tune sounded so familiar. I couldn't place it for a few minutes, but then the lyrics came to me, flowing through my thoughts along with the music.

_In this farewell,_

_There's no blood,_

_There's no alibi, _

_'Cause I've drawn regret,_

_From the truth,_

_Of a thousand lies_

_So let mercy come,_

_And wash away,_

_What I've done_

_I'll face myself,_

_To cross out what I've become,_

_Erase myself,_

_And let go of what I've done..._

I stopped playing abruptly, unable to finish the song once I realized the meaning behind the words. My lower lip jutted out against my will, shaking, and silent tears leaked from the corners of my closed eyes. Fuck.

"Why did you stop playing? That was beautiful." Jasper's voice made me start.

I swiped the tears away. "Sorry, I didn't know I had an audience." I forced a laugh.

He frowned, his eyes narrowing slightly, and his mouth formed a tight line. "You don't have to do that, you know. There's really no point around me..." he was leaning against the door frame, studying my expression. He hadn't really spoken to me, probably avoiding his bloodlust ever since I arrived here two weeks ago. Thankfully, I was finally feeling better, nearly fully recovered.

"Do what?" Why had he decided to start talking to me now? Please just go back to Alice...

"Try to cover up what you're feeling. You know I can tell you're upset about something." His voice was soft and probing, his southern twang in full force. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, thanks. It's just a silly dream I've been having. I'll be fine." You can't face this now. Not ever. It will change everything. Remember what happened last time you tried to address this? You wound up floating away into the abyss of the light. No good will come of this.

"Edward is worried about you. He can't feel what you're feeling, but he can read your thoughts." Edward? He had been in a total state of bliss since I had come back, or at least I thought he had..."You need to talk to him." Shit. I thought everything was fine. I was healing. Edward was happy. The family was whole again.

I sighed but didn't say anything as he walked away.

I began playing again, thinking about anything else besides my problems. I thought about how I had changed things by meeting Edward when I did, how things in this timeline diverged from the original story.

Rosalie and Emmett had joined the family a bit differently than their original counterparts had, but I think it was for the better. In 1933 Edward stopped Royce King from attacking Rose, keeping her human and none the wiser about the danger she had been in. She was angry when Royce disappeared. She believed he had left her for another woman.

Carlisle and Esme had tracked down Emmett a few years later. He was living in the mountains of Appalachia alone because his parents and siblings had succumbed to starvation and disease due to their poverty and lack of resources during the Depression. He was barely making it on his own, and had gotten lost in the woods while going to hunt for food. Carlisle stopped him from intercepting a bear, and convinced him to come back to Rochester with promise for a better life for him. They helped him find work and a modest home.

Carlisle and Esme kept tabs on him. One day he was on his way home from work and stopped at the bank to make a deposit where he met Rose. She was stand-offish of course, believing she was better than him and his blue collar work, but his personality shined through. He was irresistible. He proved himself to her, but her family disowned her, angry that she would choose such an "unsuitable husband." Rose didn't care. She was head over heels for him and his dimples. She had seen what trying to seek out money over love could do.

She wanted what her best friend Vera had found, and she got it. Rosalie and Emmett were married in a humble ceremony with just close friends—Cullens included— and welcomed their first child that Spring, under the care of Dr. Cullen himself. Rosalie was ecstatic to finally be a mother to their curly-haired, dimpled baby boy. However, she nearly died of postpartum complications, and Carlisle changed her at Emmett's insistence.

Apparently, Emmett was not as obtuse as his goofy nature would have you believe. He knew something was up with the Cullens, and when his Rosie's life was in danger, he wanted her saved. Rosalie was angry when she woke up and realized what had been taken from her, but Carlisle promised her that she could see Emmett and their son, Thomas, again. Edward explained to her about mine and his relationship despite our difference in species. She wasn't happy about it, but it kept her appeased. She was torn up about missing time with her child, though.

Emmett stayed with their baby until Rose was past her first year of vampirism. Then he chose, unconventionally, to be changed too, so he could stay with Rosalie forever. She kept their child with the Cullens while Edward stayed with Emmett during his first year. Thomas still remained human—as he would forever per Rosalie—and lived back in New York with his wife and children. Emmett and Rose were there now visiting them. They were all aware but sworn to secrecy about vampires, obviously.

Alice and Jasper had arrived basically the same way their cannon counterparts had, but Edward informed Alice about her past which he knew from my memories. She was able to secretly help and support her sister and niece from afar. She seemed happier if that were even possible for Alice.

Jasper, while still struggling, was able to prepare a bit for my arrival, and Edward again used the information from my memories teach his newest brother about how his empathy was tied to his bloodlust. When others were thirsty, his thirst was worse by a tenfold. He hunted much more regularly than the others. It seemed to be working so far.

Carlisle and Esme were Carlisle and Esme. Their purity, compassion, and love could never be affected by anything I did.

"You know they love you too. It wasn't just me who missed you. Even Alice felt like she knew you once I told her about you. She tried searching for you everyday of the last twenty years she's been with us." Edward pulled me from my thoughts. I hadn't realized how light it was out, but I was sitting silently at the piano without playing. "Sorry I was just out hunting. I thought I could be back before you woke up. Why did you wake up so early? It's only five now."

"Just thinking." I answered cryptically with a shrug and slight smile.

"You've been thinking a lot lately." He frowned.

"Is that a pass at my intelligence? Are you surprised that I have a working brain?" I joked with an unavoidable yawn.

"No, silly girl." He kissed my temple, and lifted me into his arms, carrying me back toward our room. "I'm concerned about you. You keep leaving me in your mind. You're keeping me out somehow. I don't like it."

"I can't keep you out." I lifted a brow at him. "It's impossible..." I made a disparaging face, and Edward smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"No, but you can still hide behind other thoughts. I just want you to be happy. Something is bothering you. Give me your burdens please." He set me on the bed, looking at me seriously, and I pulled my knees to my chest, leaning against the headboard. I didn't want to give him my burdens. I didn't want to face them myself.

Remember what happened the last time you tried to face them, Iris? You disappeared into the abyss of neutrality...

"Iris. You have to talk to me. This isn't helping anything to run away."

"I'm here. I'm not running anymore..." I whispered almost to myself.

"Physically? No. But you're retreating into yourself. Is it something I've done?" I looked to him in confusion. You're wonderful, perfect actually. What could you have done? It was my fault. I'm the real problem. "I've been trying to allow you to recover before talking to you about this, but you seem to be in much better health now..." he trailed off.

Uh oh. This sounded bad. "What is it?"

"I'm just concerned about you. Back in 1932–almost a month ago for you—before you knew you were ill, you told Carlisle some about your life experiences...the way you felt about yourself." He was speaking in a very cautious tone.

Instantly my stomach clenched, and I felt the urge to jump up again, to run. Oh God. Not that. No. This topic was off limits. Go back to joking with me. Let's just stay in our blissful respite from all things ugly.

"Iris we have to talk about this. I find it all very disturbing—" he began.

"No!" I forced myself off of the bed preparing to leave. My heart was pounding, my breathing rate doubled. You should find it disturbing! I'm a crazed murderer, selfish to the extreme, totally unfazed by the evil which I have committed. I'm a terrible person. No, I'm not even a person. I'm a monster.

"Iris, please!" Edward's expression changed from concerned to one of pain. I was hurting him with my thoughts too unintentionally. Shit! All I bring is pain. "I don't share any of those views about you."

"Sometimes I wish you couldn't hear me." I said in a whisper.

"I don't! It would only serve to make this relationship that much more difficult." He responded in a sharp tone and shook his head. "You need to forgive yourself."

"Ok, I'll get right on that. And while we're at it, let's go find Charles Manson, and tell him that it's ok that he orchestrated the murders of all those people and that he needs to forgive himself too." I said bitterly. Did he not see how evil I was? Honestly, I wouldn't even be able to make it through each day except that I knew my presence brought him joy. He deserved to be happy. He didn't deserve to be burdened with any of this.

"Your problems are my problems. Please stop, Iris." Edward groaned as he held the sides of his head and pulled at his hair. "It does hurt me to listen to this."

"Then stop listening!" I snapped. I wasn't really angry with him, but I didn't want to say anything more on the matter. No! I'm not going there. This was a subject which I had rather successfully folded and compacted into a tiny, itty bitty, microscopic cube inside my brain to stay for eternity for all I cared. I couldn't talk about this. It was like Pandora's box...if I opened this lid, the evil, disgusting truth would come out never to be put it back in. The truth would destroy all the peace I found here with the Cullens. I would have to leave. They wouldn't want me as I am.

I realized then that I could never be changed. I could control myself as long as I was human, but that would change later. I had to be stopped. I needed to leave to keep everyone safe. I needed to—

"No! Damnit, Iris!" He grabbed me by the arm as I had begun to head for the door. Everything in me was yelling at me to run. "I've had it with you running away. It doesn't solve the problem. We will never be able to be together for any significant amount of time if things stay this way."

"Maybe I've already ruined everything." Faces were beginning to appear to me. People I had killed. People who I hadn't protected. Everything in me was continuing to say go. Get away from this. If you face it, you will break...Keep up the facade of being unaffected. Shove it down. Don't let anyone, especially those you love know what's inside of you, know what you're capable of...

Edward who had been so angry before, closed his eyes and steadied his unnecessary breathing. After a moment he opened his eyes and his expression was softened. "We are each capable of doing bad things, Iris. That doesn't make us bad people. And in your case, you haven't actually done anything yet. You travelled back to a time when those events have not happened. You can change the outcome now. That's more than any of us can say for our mistakes." His eyes were burning intensely with regret.

He meant his words to be helpful, but he didn't get it. Just because I hadn't killed those people yet, didn't mean that I wouldn't kill more. Their faces of torment, pain, and unyielding suffering were just a symbol of the bigger problem here. Me. I had taken an oath to preserve human life, to serve my fellow man, but I had failed at every avenue. I could easily lie to myself and say that those were mistakes, flukes, totally circumstantial, but that would be the biggest farce. I knew differently.

He continued to speak in a controlled, low voice. "I've killed hundreds of humans, Iris. I willingly sought them out. I reveled in their pain and deaths. I loathed having to stop. It's what made me struggle the most back when you first found me, what took so long for me to come back to you. Yes, I felt guilty after a kill, but I truly enjoyed the blood. It's in my nature. It will be in yours too, but we can help you fight it when the time comes."

I shook my arm free of him, and he released me, never forcing me to do anything against my will. I was past the point of no return. He still wasn't getting it. I couldn't be saved. This dysfunction was inside of me, genetic. "You killed MURDERERS! There's no comparison! I knew better, and I didn't give a fuck! I was sad about losing you. I was angry that I couldn't have everything that I wanted, so I took it out on innocent people! Women. Children. Husbands. Grandparents. Cousins. Daughters and sons! It didn't matter! The blood was amazing, but what was I really thinking?! I wanted them to suffer just like I was. If I couldn't have what I wanted, then no one could. I'm selfish. I'm disgusting. I'm tainted. I'm damaged."

"You don't believe that. I can hear the contradiction in your thoughts. That isn't the real you." He was grasping for my hand, but ignored him.

"Isn't it?" I was pacing wildly, adrenaline pumping. Memories of my previous life in the real world began to assault me. "Oh God...I'm sick...I'm like them."

My body was telling me that I needed to get out. I needed an escape. I should never have infiltrated the Cullen's happy, well-adjusted lives with this shit. There was nothing to be done. Nothing he could say or do to correct this. I had been kidding myself when I thought I could ever have a happily ever after. This wasn't a question of what he deserved. It was about what I deserved which wasn't much. I couldn't be with Edward even to make him happy because it would always come back to my baggage. He couldn't be happy. Me being with him was just another way of running and hiding away from the damage inside of myself.

"You're not sick, Iris. None of what you're thinking about yourself is true. Don't let these thoughts poison you and take you from me. Your parents were sick. You are different. You are kind, compassionate, healing to others, and truly my better half. Don't listen to the voice inside of you." He was pleading with me.

"I killed them, Edward. I actually did it. Do you know how confusing and wrong that is to me? How screwed up it is? I went to therapy for years to work through my issues with my parents. I thought I was healed, rid of their fucking insanity. I thought I was giving back by taking care of my patients, breaking the cycle. Then I took over Bella's body, and I realized that it didn't matter what my conscious mind chose to think. I am selfish. My default will always be to save myself. I should have died back in my world, but I came here and messed everything up just so I could survive. I hit one small bump in our road together, and I gave up. I murdered thousands of humans when I could have fought it. I could have worked on my ability and had Aro killed. I could have found freedom, but I spent a year and a half with them, lost in my own mind, killing all the time and enjoying it. That's so fucked up..." I was crying again. Damn these fucking tears!

"Jasper?" Edward and I turned in confusion to the door just in time to see Jasper walking in.

"I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Sorry to intrude, but I need to speak with your mate." Jasper looked to me seriously. "Let's go, Iris."

"What? We're a little busy, Jasper." I spoke through a tight voice. I didn't know him well enough yet to cuss him out like I wanted to currently.

Jasper only chuckled. "You're shooting some pretty nasty emotions my way now, and I get it, but I think I can help you both if you'll come with me." He folded his arms across his chest with a raised brow.

Edward looked at Jasper meaningfully and then nodded. "You should go." He said to me. What?! "Iris. You need to talk to someone. Obviously, it's not helping to speak with me. Go with him, please. This is for you, and it's for our future. Do you still want to be with me?"

"Of course I do but—"

"Go." He said again softly this time. He crossed the distance between us, kissed me on the forehead, and leaned down to my ear. "Go, please." He whispered.

I turned to Jasper at a loss. There was nothing anyone could say to me. I was broken, damaged goods, poisoned.

"God, you're so melodramatic." Jasper laughed as he towed me out of the room.

Son of a— "Iris." I heard Edward say in warning as I left.

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	55. HeadCase

Jasper for the win! I highly urge each of you who have a major problem with Iris's behavior to look up the long-term effects of childhood trauma. Give her some grace, she's getting there...

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Ch. 55 Head Case

"So...You seem a little upset." Jasper smirked. What the fuck?!

Jasper didn't stop walking until we reached the woods at the edge of the property. I guess we were outside of ear shot of everyone. There would be no other reason to come out here. It was freezing cold outside. Alice met us with my sweater, and I had a flashback of a similar scene back in Forks. Oh how things had changed...She offered a small smile, pat my arm, and walked away.

I turned back to face him. "No shit."

"Well, time to get over it." He shrugged.

My eyes widened. "Excuse me? I'm a—"

"Nope. I ain't Edward. You can't pull your 'oh, woe is me' bullshit. Time to put on your big girl pants and really fix the problem." He smiled condescendingly.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You don't even know me!" I was seething. What the hell? How was this going to help?!

Jasper shook his head and laughed. Oh now I'm really pissed. "You're just like him...Edward...you know that? Always thinkin' you're worse off than anyone else..." I opened my mouth, but Jasper cut me off. "I've lived long enough and seen enough to know exactly what I need to know about you. You seem like a good person, and Edward really loves you. And because he loves you, he coddles you. He's missed you, and he's tryin' to make up for lost time. I, however, will tell you how it is. No tricks. No lies. No bullshit."

"What are you talking about?" I scoffed.

"You're spendin' so much time and energy lost in your own brain that you can't see around you. You were absolutely correct when you said you were selfish."

"You—"

"I'm not done speakin'. So if you would kindly give me your full attention, I think you've said enough, and your squallin' ain't fixin' anything."

He waited until he knew I wouldn't interrupt before starting again.

"Edward has spent years goin' on and on 'bout you. He has placed you on this pedestal—which is right since you're his mate, but that also means that he can't tell you what you need to hear, the hard truth of things. You've got mama and deddy issues? We all do. Hell, we're all grown and living with people who weren't much older than us at the time of their change callin' them 'Mom' and 'Dad.' If that's not screwed up, I don't know what is, but I accept it. If us living like the fuckin' parasitic Brady Bunch together, pretendin' not to be Vampires and going to school over and over with these humans helps us get passed our issues, then great! Now, It's time for you to grow up. You're grown, but you're not grown up. Mama and deddy are gone. You say you did some bad stuff? We all did. Edward had to listen to every person's last thoughts as he drained them. I could literally feel the pain and fear of every human AND vampire I have killed over the years. If I sat around blubberin' 'bout it, I wouldn't get much else done. It's a viscous cycle you're startin' here."

"I keep hearing them scream, Jasper. I can't make it stop." I said in a low voice.

"So honor that. Let it motivate you to not make the same choice this go 'round. Your mate was right. You get the redo that we all wish we had. Not a single one of us besides Rose and Carlisle can say we're innocent. Even Esme has killed on more than one occasion, and I can't think of a person who would be less like likely to enjoy killing than her. Edward told me that Emmett used to sneak out any chance he got to go hunt humans for fun when he was first changed. 'Course that freak isn't bothered by much in life..." he chuckled. How was he being so nonchalant about this?!

"Look, you ran off on your parents thinkin' you had all the answers to life, but you needed someone to give you guidance which, I guess, they weren't very good at to begin with. You've been alone too long, and you need to start trusting us, your family. Anything you think that only you could possibly understand, one of us had probably seen it or done it ourselves a time or two. Get out of your head, say you're sorry, and move on."

"I..." Jasper finally was allowing me to speak, but there wasn't anything to say. He was right. I had done bad things, made horrible choices, but now I had the chance to change things. I had a good life, a really great chance at having a good eternity spread out before me. I was crying and complaining about things which hadn't happened here yet, and they wouldn't happen if I had anything to do with it. I had to fix this. I had to. There was no other answer.

"Good." Jasper must have noticed my attitude change. "Now shut up and go kiss your man. He's pretty messed up right now worrying 'bout you." He turned to leave, decidedly done with his latest mission.

"Jasper?" I called before he got too far away.

"Yes ma'am?" He replied with a smile.

"How did you know what to say?"

"Easy. I said the same stuff to Edward a while back. I swear he was worse than you with the guilt...still is." He rolled his eyes.

"He hides it well..." I said as I furrowed my brow.

"We're all real good actors, huh?" He winked and walked back to the house.

I stayed behind, and sat on the grass. I remembered the faces of some of my victims, but this time I took Jasper's advice. I apologized to each person I could remember, starting with John's wife. I know I had tried to save her and didn't really do anything wrong in her case, but I still had been holding myself responsible for her death for some reason. I continued my silent offers of remorse to each individual and finished with one long apology and moment of silence for those I couldn't reveal...which was too many to count. I couldn't keep up this pattern of negativity. I wouldn't survive it. I would keep making mistake after mistake until I finally did something to get myself or everyone else killed.

I laughed to myself when I randomly recalled the line from "Spider-Man" when Uncle Henry says, "With great power comes great responsibility." He was right. I wasn't normal. My abilities, my touch on this world, could affect others exponentially greater than other people's. I needed to forgive myself...come to terms with the things outside of my current control.

"I'm glad you're smiling again. Is it safe for me to enter?" Edward cut through my introspection.

"Yes. Sorry, apparently I'm a little crazy."

"A little?" Edward laughed at my face. "I'm kidding. I have been waiting for you to explode. You were holding so much back. You can't live that way."

"I know. I'm sorry." I repeated myself. I didn't know what else to say. I fought the urge to think poorly of myself again. No, Iris, you can't start this again. Say sorry and move on.

"Jasper is a smart man. He helped me get passed myself too." Edward sat in the grass beside me, pulling me to a side-lying position next to him.

"He told me. I'm glad you're ok. I'm getting there... it may take time, but I want to be better. I used to be better at this...being happy...I feel like something has happened along the way, and I was caught in so much drama that I got lost. I couldn't wade through all the clutter up there." I gestured to my head.

"In the future, can you please tell me if you get overwhelmed again? You really scared me back there. I thought you were about to leave me again." His voice broke, and I wanted to cry for all the unnecessary anguish I always seemed to put him through. He has enough problems without me making it worse. I lightly traced the point between his eyes where his skin pinched together as he frowned. "Iris, your problems are my problems. We're a team. Got it?"

"Aye aye, Captain." I said in jest, and he shook his head with a smile.

"You're utterly ridiculous sometimes."

"You love me." I bit my lip, catching Edward's full attention.

"Inexorably."

He pulled me closer to him and kissed me deeply the way two lovers do when they've got no other care in the world.

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	56. TearsAndSnot

Ch. 56 Tears And Snot

"And how does that make you feel?" Jasper asked in a goofy voice, and I laughed.

"Jerk."

I had been seeing Jasper a couple of times per week in a professional role for the past couple of months. Outside of his study, he was like a brother to me, but in here, he was my therapist. He did have two doctorates in psychology, after all.

After his mental version of a smack in the face, I wasn't sure we would ever get along. He seemed so different than I remembered from our time in Forks. I would have never placed that condescending ass of a vampire with sweet, bubbly Alice, but he told me that he only spoke that way to me that day because "desperate times call for desperate measures." He said that after Carlisle and Edward had both tried to get through to me with a more passive approach to no avail, he felt me panicking and realized that maybe making me come to terms with my past required a different method. I'm not so sure that I agree with him, but his style did yield results. He was nothing if not practical, I guess.

I hadn't really understood his cryptic remark about them all being really good actors until I realized that the whole conversation that morning had been an act. He was actually a very charming, nice guy just as I had remembered, definitely worthy of Alice. Ok, one point to Jasper.

"That's Dr. Whitlock to you, ma'am." He joked. "But really, how are you? Are you still having nightmares?" His face held an expression of true concern.

"I haven't had that particular nightmare in several weeks. Now I just have the normal garden variety kind about vampires." I shrugged.

"What are those about? Are you still scared of me after I knocked some sense into that pretty head of yours?" He smirked.

You wish you were scary. Actually, yes, he was kind of scary, much more so than Edward, but I wasn't going to tell either of them that. "No...it's just...I don't know. I feel like I'm missing something. I think I'm just so used to being stressed out that I'm having trouble believing there's nothing to worry about." I shrugged. Yeah...that's probably it. Shut your trap and be happy, Iris.

"Ok, well, let me know if you figure it out. You seem fine to me." He grinned.

Just then there was a knock on the door and Emmett appeared. "Umm, Dr. Whitlock?" I bit back a laugh at Emmett's patronizing tone. "Are you guys done with your brain surgery or whatever in here? Can Iris come out to play now?" That did it. I was actually laughing now. I had really missed Emmett all this time.

"The only one who needs brain surgery around here is you Emmett." Jasper said with a chuckle.

"Come on, Iris. I want to watch you play football. You're so slow. It's hilarious."

"Hey! I can't help it!" I snapped. Then I turned and smiled.

"That can wait, Em. I believe Miss McGee has a prearranged appointment with me." Edward walked in behind Emmett gracefully.

"Aww you always get to have all the fun with the human!" All this time together and I was still just "the human."

I rolled my eyes and then narrowed them. "Well, I thought about giving you the time of day, but since you keep calling me 'the human' all the time, I choose Edward."

"I would surely hope that you would always choose me, but I'll take what I can get." Edward chuckled, and swooped me up to run outside. A bit excited there, Ed?

"I just wanted to show you something." He said as he smiled my favorite crooked grin. Oh, Edward. You're far too handsome for your own good. I could just— "Iris, look."

I had been so distracted by my beautiful mate that I hadn't noticed where we were standing. He placed me on the ground, and I spun around to take in the full view.

It was just before sunset, so the sun hung low in the red-orange sky, lights reflected off the little bit of Edward's exposed skin and formed diamonds on the emerald grass. We were standing at the top of a hill overlooking a lake. There was a reflection of the green hillside in the water which made the landscape appear to go on forever. It was absolutely the most spectacular thing I had ever seen.

"I'm glad you like it. I come here after my hunts sometimes to think."

"What do you think about?"

"You. Us. Our future..." He said as he looked away with a smile.

"Our future...I think I like the sound of that."

"Me too. I have something to ask of you... It's just that I know you have been having a hard time in recent months, and I wanted to make sure that you were in better spirits. You seem to be feeling much better."

"I feel fantastic. What's to be upset over? I have you. I have our family. Our future..."

"Yes, that's one decision I struggled with for all those years while I waited for you to return. Should we be together? Was I stealing your human life from you? Would you fare better with someone who could be with you fully as you are now...?"

Oh hell no. We aren't starting this again, Cullen. There's no take-backs. You promised. This was it! "And what did you decide?" My voice came out sharper than I wanted it to, but I was on the brink of a nuclear meltdown if he did his 'I'm a dangerous vampire, and you should be with someone safer' routine. Nope. Not doing it. Not today. Not ever.

He looked back at me with smoldering golden irises which he could have told me were boring into my soul and I wouldn't have questioned it. "There was never a decision to be made. The moment I saw you that very first night, the choice was made for me, by something or someone far greater than myself. You are all I will ever see, hear, scent, taste, or feel, the only one who I have ever wanted, needed, but never thought to ask for. You are my everything, Iris Elizabeth McGee. So I beg of you, please, will you marry me?"

Silence. There was silence for exactly four seconds. Then there were tears—and snot, lots of snot—and a scream that would deafen wild banshees.

"Yes! Yes yes yes!" I shrieked as I jumped into his arms as he laughed and kissed me over and over again. There could never have been another human happier than I was in that moment. All this drama and build up and messed up shit had led to this. This moment of other-worldly merriment. "Why would you make me squirm like that, Asshole?!" I accused as I continued to assault him in kisses.

"I'm sorry, love." He was chuckling breathily between kisses too. "I just...wanted to appeal...to your more theatrical side...I was...worried you might not agree...to it if I went...the more conventional route."

I pulled back to look at him. "You're right. I definitely would have said no and drifted my way outta here if you just would have gotten down on your knee and asked like a normal boyfriend. That would have been a deal breaker." I shook my head, but couldn't keep a smile from breaking through again.

"I knew it." He shrugged, and pulled me down to the ground with him.

Edward was laughing still as I smacked him. He grabbed my hand and held it away from him—probably so I wouldn't injure it. I was experiencing so much shock and overwhelming joy that I barely noticed when he slipped a ring on my finger.

"This was my—" he began to explain, but I knew what he would say. It was just as I had always imagined it.

"Mother's..." I finished as I looked on the ring in awe. It was far lovelier than any book could describe—and way prettier than that horrible one in the movies. It was a an oval cut diamond with angled baguette diamonds surrounding the center like a halo. The gold band also had baguettes lining my finger. Holy shit...It was breathtaking.

"Do you like it?" He asked with a chuckle. He knew I did. Not only could he hear my every thought, but I couldn't stop staring at it. This ring meant so much to me. It wasn't just that it was pretty or that it was his mother's. We were getting married. It was finally going to happen. I would no longer be alone. I would no longer be running, but if I did I would have a companion. "Forever." He promised in a low, earnest voice before placing his lips on my finger where the symbol of our bound future together rested.

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	57. APerfecfDay

Go look up "Yellow" played by Brooklyn Duo on YouTube and you'll see why I chose that arrangement. So amazing...

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Ch. 57 A Perfect Day

Ok. This is happening. This is real. This is NOT a drill, people. I repeat. This is NOT a drill!

IRIS ELIZABETH MCGEE IS MARRYING EDWARD CULLEN! Holy frickin matrimony.

I stared at my shocked—and puffy from just waking up—yet somehow equally overjoyed, face in the mirror. It was the same expression I had been wearing for the last two months since Edward had proposed. I didn't know myself. The amount of shear joy visible there was beyond any I had seen displayed on my face in my whole life. This was really happening, April 23, 1970, my wedding day. DAMN STRAIGHT!

I didn't want to delay the ceremony any longer than necessary, eager to spend my life—and hopefully eternal existence—with my mate. Hell yes! It's finally here, Iris! Deep breaths. Deeeeeeeeep breaths. It will not do to pass out on your wedding day...MY WEDDING DAY! Calm down, Iris. Calm dow—shut the fuck up! It's my WEDDING DAY! I was squealing more than a basic bitch who just realized It was pumpkin spice season at Starbucks.

The rushed planning had made Alice have to work overtime, and she whined about it in her usual Alice way. However, I think she secretly enjoyed every adrenaline-inducing moment. Would we find the right shade of fabric? Would the flowers arrive in time? Would Emmett pass his quiz to be ordained properly? We just didn't know...ok, fine Alice knew everything, but it was fun to pretend we were racing against the clock.

Everything was going to be perfect. Beyond perfect. We were keeping the ceremony small at the manor—Alice's version of small, so, you know, more elaborate than any wedding you have ever seen before but not as many people present. I didn't have many friends outside of the Cullens...kind of sad, but they were all I needed, my family. The Denali Coven was coming—so excited to watch Tanya squirm...what? She's just...so. Freaking. Tanya. Ugh.

While I had allowed Alice to go rougue on her own with most things, I had one part of the day which I wanted to choose for myself—my dress. Rosalie and Alice helped me draw up a design while Esme sewed the plan into fruition. It was exactly as I had imagined. You go, Esme...the gown was an A-lined style with an ivory silk lace overlay and a flesh-toned underlayer. The hand-beaded bodice was fitted with an open round neck and lace capped sleeves which met the also sheer lace that covered my back all the way to my neck. The bottom hung loose and billowy, pouring into a short train which gently trailed behind me. This dress was going to knock Edward's socks off—or actually, hopefully his pants...oh, Iris, you minx...

"Ok, Iris, you're all ready. You've got your something old and borrowed—" Alice pointed to the necklace which she had fashioned into a head piece encircling my forehead. It was gorgeous, the diamonds and pearls forming flowers and other beautifully intricate patterns along my crown. "—your something new—" She motioned you my dress. "Now for something blue..." She got a devious smile as she disappeared and reappeared just as quickly in a blur, holding something out of sight behind her back. She suddenly ducked beneath my dress—thankfully I was still seated at her vanity—and slid what I had to assume was a garter all the way up my leg. Shit Alice...Edward May get lost if you go much further...not that I'd mind him getting lost...there...A blush rushed to my cheeks, and Alice winked at me.

"Thanks Alice and Rosalie." Rose was standing behind me where she had just finished with my hair while Alice applied my makeup. Each of the Cullen women were dressed in varying shades of purple chiffon, and looked like runway models.

In this reality, Edward had been able to help Rosalie desensitize to me years ago with some of my things I had left behind. Between that and the fact that she had her own family—children, grandchildren, and Emmett—she was way less pig headed and rude to me than before, not that she didn't have her reservations, though. She still thought I was an idiot for ever getting involved with a bunch of vampires. She stilled valued humanity above all else, but she no longer harbored the amount of jealousy which she had before due to the changes in her story. We weren't best friends or anything, but she was cordial with me, and excited at the prospect of having another baby around.

"Don't thank us yet. Look!" Alice spun my chair around to face the mirror over her vanity, and I gasped.

I was the epitome of a blushing bride. My skin was a glowing and dewy bronze, slightly paler than usual due to the near-constant rain and overcast skies of Scotland but still shades darker than any of the Cullens. My hair was expertly braided messily on purpose to the side in the ultimate boho-chic plait which rested on my right shoulder. Loosely curled tendrils swept away from my face at the front in a side part which framed Alice's masterpiece impeccably. My makeup was soft and understated with touches of rose and gold hues and a naturally tinted lip. No one could have done a better job than the Cullen women. You go, girls!

The smile which just couldn't seem to leave me crept back where it belonged, and Alice hugged me around the shoulders.

"I'm so happy that you found my brother. Finally I can truly call you my sister...this is amazing!" She squealed but then stopped immediately to snap at me. "Hey! Don't mess up your makeup by crying. You stop that right now!"

"Why'd you have to say something so sweet then, Alice?! What'd you expect? You're the freaking psychic!"

"Ugh, come here. Let me fix these blotches..."

"You know, I'm thankful for you too, Iris. Carlisle hinted one time when I was being exceptionally stubborn about this life to what would have become of me without your intervention." Rosalie paused and her eyes took on a faraway look for a second before she met my eyes once more. "So thank you, truly." Daw...

"You're welcome, Rosalie. We women have to stick together. You may not remember this, but you supported me when a near-attack happened by a guy at the mall. I'll never forget that whether you do recall it or not..." I was sniffing back tears as I spoke. That seemed like forever ago, but it was only a few years back for me. How amazing it was the way things change in just a few short years. I wonder what eternity would hold for me...?

"Rose! Stop with the sentiment! I'm trying to fix this mess on her face, and you're making it worse!" Alice snapped again, and Rose and I laughed together for the first time.

"Mess? Thanks, Alice." My sarcasm was marred by the fact that I was still laughing. Damnit! Get it together, McGee. You only get one chance at being the smokin' hot bride! Don't ruin it with all the snot!

I sobered the best I could, and Alice gave me a nod of approval before beginning again on her smeared canvas. After about five minutes she stood back to stare at her work.

"What's the verdict?"

"You're breathtaking." Esme answered from the doorway, and I smiled at her.

"Thank you."

"Iris, I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of how far you have come in the time which I have known you. You have overcome your fears, helped return my son home, and matured into the woman who you were always meant to be. I cannot wait for you to officially be a member of the family, but please know that you have always been a daughter to me." She smiled earnestly. Shit. Here come the waterworks...

Alice comically threw her hands up in the air with a disparaging expression of exasperation. "Seriously?! Come on, Esme! I just finished her, and now I'm going to have to start all over! Cut it out with the tears, Iris!"

"Oh, it will be fine, Alice. Don't be anxious. Let me help with that." Esme, always so calm and gracious, gently removed the makeup brush from Alice's hand and began powdering my nose. God, I must be pretty ugly if it takes three rounds of makeup to tame my beast of a face...

"Ok...NOW you're done." Alice sighed, appeased once more.

"Are you sure? We could go for a fourth round if you think I need it that badly..." I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Iris, this has been a long time coming. You didn't see Edward all those years while he waited for you to show back up. He was always on edge, on alert, eager and anxious both for the time when you would arrive. He was so scared he had already lost you when I couldn't see your arrival. Some days he looked like a shell of a man, others he grinned with hope at the thought of being together with you for eternity. I just want to do this right for him...and you, of course, but it has to be perfect. And now, it will be." Alice smiled softly, and my eyes twitched as I tried to hold back tears again. No, damnit. No more tears. You can do this, for him and for you, Iris. We each deserve this perfect day.

I stood from my chair and walked to kiss each of the Cullen women on the cheeks before I turned toward the door to exit into the corridor. It swung open before I reached it, and Carlisle greeted me in a sleek tan tuxedo. Ooh La La.

"Iris." He said with his heartbreakingly warm and beautiful smile. "You are a vision. Any man would be lucky to have you, but my son will be exceptionally overjoyed." He chuckled.

"Thank you. I'm so happy to have him as well. Is he making it ok? He hasn't paced a hole in the ground has he? Alice will never forgive him for ruining her decorations..." I was rambling nervously as it finally hit me that this was real. It was happening. ITS MY FUCKING WEDDING DAY!! HELL YES!

I could have sworn that I heard the ghost of a velvet laugh from downstairs, and I was overtaken by a welcomed calm.

"Thank you, Jasper...Edward, I love you." I whispered with a grin knowing they each heard me.

"We will have to travel there by car. I'm not going to accidentally ruin your hair or dress, good weather or not." Alice chirped.

Esme, Carlisle, and Rose ran ahead, and I assumed they were following Jasper, Emmett, and...Edward, my almost—oh Lord I'm really doing this! Yes!!

The car ride was kind of long...much longer than it took to run there because we had to follow the winding roads along the Scottish hillside. The ceremony and reception would take place at the exact spot where Edward proposed to me. I hadn't seen any of it yet as Alice wanted to surprise me, but I could imagine how gorgeous it would be.

We pulled into a large tent which served as a make-shift garage for our car, and it doubled in duty of keeping me hidden off the short, but winding path in the woods which led to the open area where the ceremony would take place. My heart began to beat quickly and stutter at the thought of who and what awaited me mere yards away. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!

"Ok, Iris, are you ready?" I closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths, and another wave of calm—created without Jasper's help thank you very much—came over me.

"Yes. More than ready." I spoke with a surprising amount of unmistakeable confidence.

I chose to forgo having bridesmaids or anyone "give me away." It could have been interpreted as a message of feminism and equal rights, but in my case, it had more to do with my journey thus far. I was coming to this eternal family alone, and leaving along side them, never to be alone again.

"Alright, well, I will meet you down there then. Don't worry, when you come around the car, you will see where you need to go." She pulled a bouquet of purple Irises from the car, and handed them to me.

"Wait, what's the music I'm walking to? The traditional wedding march? Edward said it was a surprise. How will I know when to go?"

"Oh, you'll know." Alice said cryptically with a sly grin.

I could only sigh in resignation at her antics. "Thanks again for all of this, Alice. I love you."

"Hey! No crying before the vows!" She said in a playfully harsh tone. Then she pecked me on the cheek, stood up on her tippy toes, and whispered in my ear, "Love you too, Sis." And she was gone.

Then I heard it. The music Edward had carefully and lovingly been hiding from me as he made the arrangements all these weeks. It was the song I had sung for him, "Yellow." The piano playing was undeniably beautiful, but it was the sound of a cello winding it's way into the melody that called to me, lulling me into submission. _Come this way..._It seemed to say. The meaning of every unsung lyric in the song was evident in the passion infused into the playing. This was it. It was time for me to go toward my future.

I stepped onto the leaf-covered pathway which was meticulous lined with ivory candles. Candles also hung above me at different lengths, almost appearing to float in the trees. I trusted Alice's foresight that this would not cause some kind of forest fire...

The contrast between the darkness of the woods at twilight and the warm glow of lights along the path created a distinct aura of otherworldliness, totally ethereal. Deep purple Irises, fragrant orange blossoms, and honeysuckle were strategically placed along the winding trail. The forest played its own role as natural decor. I took it all in, awed by the view and Alice's ability to capture every emotion I could never express. It was beautiful. Alice was a fucking genius.

My breathing picked up, and my heart sped as I looked ahead and saw the path opening up to what I knew would be the grassy knoll.

I took a few last steps until I was standing in an archway of trees, probably formed by Alice herself. I looked around to see the Denali's and Cullen's standing rather than sitting to form an aisle. Tanya smiled tightly, but her eyes sqiunted slightly like she she wanted to do something else to me besides smile politely. Kate waved, Irina smiled softly, Eleazar nodded, and Carmen grinned warmly. Alice blew me a kiss, and Jasper nodded to me in encouragement, tipping an invisible hat. Carlisle and Esme looked to me proudly. Esme had those venomous tears in her eyes again. I loved them all, ok maybe not boyfriend-stealing Tanya...I just kind of liked her sometimes...mostly when she wasn't around.

Alice's theme was obvious, a boho chic fairytale, very hippie, very me. Yet, it was also somehow refined and elegant like Edward. It was an amazing infusion of our two opposing selves made into one perfect event.

Rosalie smiled at me from behind the piano. Then my eyes met Edward's molten lava of golden irises. He was playing the Cello, calling to my soul. Good God was there nothing he couldn't do?

Too many emotions to describe were displayed in his eyes alone. His smile was blindingly white and intense, wider and more elated than ever before. I imagine it was rivaled only by my own. I ignored the pain in my cheeks from smiling so much today. It's happening. It's finally real.

Emmett gave me the thumbs up and I laughed lightly, only he could break such a privately profound moment with his goofy nature.

I looked back to Edward as I began my descent down the candle-lined aisle and didn't look away even as he stood from his seated position behind the large instrument and reached for my hands. I accepted him willingly, excitedly, and he led me the rest of the way to the alter. I love you, my dear. More than you'll ever know even from my mind...

Edward's smile softened and he kissed my cheek in response to my thoughts. He pulled back just as Emmett began his speech.

"We join here tonight to honor the love and journey thus far of that love between my brother, Edward, and his eternal mate, Iris. Our goal here is to join this couple legally and in holy matrimony as they have already been joined in destiny..."

Shit, Emmett. I thought for sure you were going to screw this whole thing up with sexual innuendoes and random animal noises. I'm impressed.

Edward chuckled and shook his head slightly, and I could just imagine him saying, "Can't you control your thoughts long enough for me to enjoy this, our wedding ceremony?" Edward smiled again and lifted a brow. Apparently I guessed correctly. Sorry, my love. He nodded gently with an approving grin, squeezing my hands. I loved him.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold, for richer or poorer-but let's be real, it's for richer—" There was hushed laugher from our family and friends. I spoke too soon, and Edward glared at Emmett. "Ok, sorry. No editing, got it...Ahem, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health as long as you both shall live?"

Edward's expression turned back to intense passion and love as he spoke with conviction, "I do."

"And Iris Elizabeth—hey! That's your mom's name, Ed!" Everyone bursted our into a laugh for real that time. Oh Emmett, you were doing so well...

"Honestly Emmett..." Edward said through tight lips.

"Right..uhh...do you, Iris Elizabeth McGee take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I said with a grin. This was it. He was finally mine. All mine. My everything.

"Then with the power vested to me by the—" Emmett looked at his hand for a second. "Frankfurt Church of All Things Good in His Glory—what? It was the easiest one to get by mail here—I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride, Dude." Emmett gave the thumbs up again. Well, that was interest—

Edward's eager lips met my own and halted any other thought from me which may have proceeded. He was mine, my everything, my husband...oh, Edward...

"I love you, Iris, my love, my life...my wife." He spoke in reverence into my ear, and I sighed in contentment.

"I love you..."

The small crowd erupted in applause as Edward turned me to face our gathered friends and family.

He swept me into his arms and rushed us back down the path for a moment alone...with my husband...oh I would never tire of that title.

"Edward, my husband?" I blinked my lashes flirtatiously and bit my lower lip, an action I knew drove Edward wild.

"Yes, Iris, my wife?" He nearly growled but smiled as his eyes smoldered.

"I can't wait for the reception to end..." my voice was breathy and intentionally seductive.

"We could skip it..." He said suggestively with a wag of his eyebrows.

"We could..." I trailed off in anticipation.

"But they came all this way..." He sounded disappointed with himself for caring, and I laughed.

"Oh alright...let's give them an hour or two."

"Only two. I can't wait any longer to be with you, my wife." And he picked me back up, cradling me in his arms as his mouth resumed its previous task with my own.

We danced the night away, celebrating, and kissing inappropriately every chance we could. It was perfect. Then it was time for the honeymoon. OMG.

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	58. Logistics

Ch. 58 Logistics

"Are you ready to leave, Love?" Edward asked as he waited by the car. We had just come back to the manor from the reception and were about to leave for our destination honeymoon. Edward wouldn't tell me where we were going, but I made him promise it wasn't Isle Esme. This was going to be our own adventure.

"I was ready to leave three hours ago." I answered eagerly, and Edward smiled.

"In a hurry are we, Mrs. Cullen?" He asked with his charmingly sweet grin. Mrs. Cullen...ooh I like that—scratch that. I love it!

"Oh, don't act like you haven't been ready to jump me since I came out of the woods." I retorted as I made my way down the front steps. We had already said our goodbyes.

"I wouldn't say that I wanted to 'jump you,' but I understand your sentiment. I must correct you, though, I have been ready to ravish you for the last forty years." He spoke directly into my ear, and I shivered as his cool breath prickled my skin. Oh God. Get me out of here NOW!

Edward chuckled, and swooped me into his arms long enough to kiss me silly, and placed me in the passenger seat as I came down from the high of his lips on mine.

"The trip isn't long, is it?" I asked in a daze.

He reached across me slowly to buckle my seatbelt and hesitated by my mouth. "Any amount of time without you in my arms is too long at this point, but patience is a virtue, or so they say..."

"Screw 'em."

"The only 'screwing' that will happen will be with you, my dear wife."

My mouth hung open as I gawked at my husband. I had never heard Edward Cullen say something so vulgar, so crude...so fucking sexy. "Get in the damn car, Edward. If you don't get me to wherever the hell we're going in the next twenty-four hours, I can't guarantee what will happen."

Edward pulled away from me with a smirk, rushing to the driver's seat, and we were off.

Exactly twenty four hours later we finally reached our destination, Bali, Indonesia. I couldn't fully appreciate how wonderful of a choice Edward had made, though, because the was dark, and I was sweaty, tired, and past ready to shower.

The plane rides were horrible because in-flight smoking hadn't been banned yet which meant the cabin was full of unfiltered, way too heavy and never-ending amounts of cigarette and cigar smoke. Edward felt awful for not thinking about it ahead of time, but I tried to stay positive as I coughed—and vomited in the bathroom a few times. I'm not choking...it's totally fine. I'm fine. I'm good. Yay honeymooning! Holy shit how do these people not suffocate? No. No...it's fine!

At least I'd be changed before I developed lung cancer...ugh.

Edward's voice pulled me from my musings. "I'll book a cruise on the way back, or I'll swim you there myself. Don't worry, love." He kissed my temple, and pointed forward. "Look."

Before us was a Bungalow so tropical and picturesque that it belonged on a postcard. From the front, it appeared to be made of bamboo and white stone. Banana trees and palms were bountiful, surrounding the small, secluded house. There were also trees with tiny white and yellow flowers which I had seen in some of the locals' hair a few hours earlier.

"Frangipani Plumeria. The flowers are used in prayer on the island. They're thought to be a good blessing when bestowed upon you." He reached up into the tree closest to us to pluck a flower out of it, and tucked it behind my ear. "Beautiful." He murmured.

"Thank you." I looked down shyly.

Edward scooped me into his arms, this time ceremoniously as he walked up the two wide, white, tiled steps to the door which he swung open with his free hand easily, and carried me over the threshold. He didn't stop walking across the one-roomed home until he reached the bed in the far back corner. I looked at the large, ornately carved, wooden bed which was painted to make a appealing mix of raw wood and gold leaf. The bedspread was woven with all jewel tones—rich reds, deep purples, lush blue and greens, gold...it was perfect. My stomach clenched.

I had been waiting for this night for a long time, but now that it was here, I was suddenly nervous. I tried to force the feeling down. God, Iris, could you be anymore Bella? This will be amazing. He will be amazing and gentle and...right. He is right for you. "Sorry, I don't know why I'm so nervous..." I laughed awkwardly, and looked to the floor as he set me down. I wasn't quite ready to touch the...bed.

"I'm nervous too. Not only will this be my...first time, but it will be my first time as a vampire. Iris, it's absolutely vital that you tell me if I do anything wrong at all. Do not spare my feelings. I will not lose you. You must—"

I had to laugh at this absurdity. I was instantly relieved of all the nerves when he began his speech. I know it seems backward...I should be afraid. His fears were warranted, but I already knew the ending to this. This was no untested experiment. I already knew what I needed to do. "Edward. This will be amazingly simple. I have a plan. You don't have to do anything at all. Just sit back...and relax..." I smiled enticingly as I pushed him as forcefully as I could backward toward the bed. He moved in reverse with my pushing as his eyes darkened. "Let me be the predator for once, and you be the prey..." I trailed off suggestively, and his face almost appeared to be fearful. Oh my sweet, innocent, beautifully pure husband. Let me show you what you've been so afraid of...

He almost looked surprised when his calves hit the bed, and he fell back on to the bed in an uncharacteristically clumsy movement. Ok, so you do want me to chase after you... "Iris, wait." He put his hand out in a 'stop' gesture.

I pulled back. "What is it?" I cocked my head in confusion. "Are you not sure about this? Not just the...pleasurable part, but the rest too? This...act...may create our child, so there's no going back from this, Edward. It's pretty much a death sentence for me if you're not ready to change me, so I need you to be sure. I'm ready to begin eternity with you, but the real question is...are you?"

"Isn't this supposed to be my argument?"

"Just answer the question."

"I'm ready." He smiled easily. Thank God. "It's just—" Oh, I knew that was too easy. "No, please, I know this isn't romantic, but I need for you to go over the logistics once more. What happens if you become pregnant? What do we do first?"

"Celebrate...?"

"Iris, I'm serious. I won't risk your life anymore than necessary. I know we've decided to go through with this, and I'm not backing out. I just need some reassurance that you have fully thought this through."

"Ugh. Fine..." I sat on the bed next to him. "Bella realized that she was pregnant two weeks after your wedding. She was really tired, and she had weirdly realistic dreams. Then her food starting tasting off and she had morning sickness. She couldn't hold anything—human food that is—down until they realized that she needed blood to keep the baby strong. So, my plan is to go week by week, and see what happens. The moment we know I'm pregnant, I will start drinking blood along with my meals. Carlisle has already set some aside. Does that suit you?" I asked in exasperation.

"Yes. Thank you. Proceed." He bit back a smile at my glare.

"No, I just feel gross now. I need a shower."

"Shall I accompany you, Mrs. Cullen?" He quirked a brow at me and his mouth formed my favorite crooked smile. Edward. Naked in the shower. Shit.

"Yes, Mr. Cullen. Please do..."

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	59. Let’sGetItOn

FYI Lemons ahead*

Happy Reading!

Ch. 59 Let's Get It On

The journey to the bathroom felt like it was a 5k crawl rather than just the few steps it was to walk across the room. I attempted—and failed miserably—to keep a cool exterior while my thoughts ran rampant, my anxious nature in overdrive. Edward was either too wrapped up in his own thoughts or too much of a gentleman to say anything about the chaos in my mind. Maybe it was a little bit of both.

As I finally—ten years later—reached the bathroom door, Edward close behind me, I extended my hand toward the door handle but paused just before the cool metal touched my skin. My chest suddenly felt like it was too small, like my lungs couldn't hold enough oxygen. My breathing sped and became so loud that even my lame human ears could hear it, and I struggled to focus on anything else.

God, why am I freaking out? He's going to think I'm having second thoughts, and I'm not...it's just...Ugh, I need to get out of my head. Stop thinking about it, Iris. Just do something. Move, damnit! You're standing here looking like a crazy person—

"Iris." My whirling, self-doubting thoughts halted abruptly when I felt Edward reach around my waist from behind and place his hand over my own which still remained extended toward the door. The feel of his cool skin, such juxtaposition against the warmth of my own, soothed me as a reminder that he was here, and I was not in this alone. He took a steady step forward while I stayed in place, leaving very little space—as in no space at all—between his front and my back, and I felt him. Let's just say that he was no longer restricting contact between us. Oh God...

He leaned down slowly so that his chin rested on my shoulder as he folded our hands around my abdomen, hugging me from behind. With a sigh of relief, my breathing regulated to match the steadiness of his, and he began working his way along my neck with light kisses up to my ear lo—ohhh...

I hardly registered that we were no longer outside of the bathroom until I heard the water turn on in the shower. Edward took one short step away from me, and I embarrassingly whimpered at the sudden, unwelcome distance between us.

He spun me around, watching my expression for any sign of protest as he cautiously reached for the hem of my dress. Once there, he paused with a quirk of his brow, silently asking for my consent, so I lifted my arms, wordlessly allowing him to slide the fabric over my head. As he inched the cotton gradually higher and higher, more and more of my skin was exposed, leaving me nearly bare before him. Only my bra and panties remained between me and the cold air as I shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other and shrugged. What you see is what you get. Sorry...

Edward didn't look sorry at all. His eyes grazed over me appreciatively—at least I hoped that's what the expression was—as I stood there totally vulnerable with almost every bit of my skin uncovered.

"There will never be a more beautiful sight before me than this, Iris. You are absolutely exquisite, the muse every artist would dream of, the image which even Michelangelo could never achieve. Every inch of you deserves to be worshipped for the divine creature you are..." His voice grew lower, rougher, and more sensual the longer he spoke, drawing me in and enticing me further to close the distance between us. Right then I knew that I had never and would never again feel more attractive than when he described his desire for me through his words.

His tongue darted out quickly to wet his lips and he stepped forward in an exaggeratedly slow, smooth motion so that he could bring his mouth to mine. I froze as his wintry hands crept their way to the front of my bra. I felt the click as he opened the clasp there, the tight band around my chest hanging free, and the material fell haphazardly to my feet. My breath hitched when his fingers ghosted over the sensitive skin where my ribs curved into my breast. Edward...

After those first reverent and timid advances, he never ceased in his endeavor, trailing kisses lightly down my neck, my shoulder, across my collar bone, and down my chest. Without stopping, his silkened lips skimmed around my breasts rather than across them. He grazed my ribs with his icy tongue, and the sound of another low rumble emanated from his chest. I reached my hands behind his elbows, pulling him closer to me as I lost myself to him.

But despite my eagerness, he finally slowed as he fell gently to his knees, his lips continuing to make their way tenderly, purposefully across my abdomen. He paused and hesitantly reached for the waistband of my underwear.The sight of his hand outstretched reminded of me of my own in the hall. He was still very scared.

"I trust you. I love you." I whispered truthfully, and he looked up to meet my eyes as his thumbs looped the fabric, and he drew them downward, agonizingly slowly, leaving my body truly exposed to him. Wordlessly, he stood without leaving my eyes.

I stepped forward to reach for his shirt, carefully tugging it free of his slacks, our eyes still burning into one other's. My fingers moved to unfasten his buttons, shyly starting from the top.

The intensity of the moment expanded as I made my way through the buttons one after another, never leaving the other's vision. However, I knew that I had to break the eye contact eventually because I was totally unwilling to miss my first view of an unclothed Edward.

With my thoughts of desire for him in full swing, his dark eyes simmered with warmth and his own desire. He finally allowed himself to look down, catching a full view of my naked body, and I think I can say that I actually did the impossible. I had dazzled Edward Cullen.

"So beautiful..." he whispered with a look of awe.

When my hands unclasped the last of the buttons, I slid my hands up the center of his abdomen to his chest just enough to push his now unencumbered shirt off his broad shoulders. I sighed in contentment as my fingers eagerly traced along each well-defined muscle of his arms, chest, abdomen...I stopped myself when I reached the deep 'v' which was lost in the waistband of his pants.

He watched me patiently as I too hesitantly reached to unlatch the buckle of his black leather belt, an uncharacteristic blush rushing to my cheeks, and subsequently unfastened the button of his pants just beneath the belt. In an exaggerated motion, I lowered the zipper next, looking back into Edward's eyes as I nudged the fabric of his slacks south, exposing as much of him to me as I had ever seen.

Edward was apparently a briefs man, and I appreciated the way they hugged him in just the right way...but now it was my turn to take a step back and fully drink in the perfection of my husband's form.

As vulgar, awkward, and silly as I normally would have been in a moment like this, I was surprised by the wave of sentiment which overtook me. Tears prickled my eyes, and my lower lip began to tremble. He was, without a single doubt, the epitome of beauty. It was almost painful to stand before him in all his glory.

"You're mistaken." He finally broke the heavy silence, sauntering toward me and brushing away the salty tear which had fallen to the crest of my lips. He cupped my face lovingly in his hands as if I were the most precious thing they had ever handled. "It is you who is the epitome of all things beautiful. I am not worthy of your company, and yet, you have granted me the gift of your presence time and time again. You have also—so graciously—allowed me the right of calling you my wife, so now, please, let me show you exactly what all of your grace means to me, Iris, my beautiful wife." His features grew even more severe with lust as he drew in a steady breath. I copied the motion, but my inspiration wasn't as steady as I suddenly grew impatient with anticipation.

Edward lowered his own briefs, stepping out of them, and kicking them leisurely to the side with a smirk and quirked brow. I couldn't help but look down, and my eyes widened. Oh. My. Edward.

He took another step toward me, gently guiding me toward the shower which had steamed up the whole room at this point.

The water should have been too hot for me to bare. It should have burned my skin, but Edward was everywhere as he kissed me, caressed me..._worshippedme_...and his freezing cold skin neutralized the scalding sting of the water which pelted me from every angle.

His breath caught, and he moaned, "Iris..." in satisfaction as my hand travelled a bit lower than usual, meeting him. He immediately stopped kissing me, slamming his hands on either side of my head against the wall. "Wait, please," he almost growled.

When I pulled away, shaking, and leaned my back against the slippery, smooth tile, I saw that he had his eyes squeezed tightly closed, the rest of his expression blank, and he was inhaling and exhaling long, deep breaths.

"It's ok. You'll be alright. You won't do anything to harm me. Please..." I whispered to him in encouragement as I lifted my fingers up to gently caress his cheek.

We waited together through the tense silence until he finally spoke in an forced calm voice. "I think we need to go just a bit slower." He explained. Slower?! Umm, I mean, slower, ok, I can do slower...

Edward opened his eyes, grinning in amusement at my eagerness. He reached around me for a bottle of shampoo which I hadn't even noticed before while we were...busy. He squeezed some of the gel into his hand and turned me around so that I way facing away from him. "Allow me, my dear wife. Intimacy doesn't always have to begin with intercourse, you know..." I could hear the smirk in his velvet voice. His hands began brushing through my hair, lathering it in aromatic suds. Goosebumps erupted all over my body at the indescribable and unexpected tingling pleasure I was experiencing with his touch.

He ran his fingers slowly through my hair again and again. The motion which was innocent by definition felt almost more erotic than what we had been doing before. He then reached for a bar of soap and began dragging it along my skin with just a bit too much pressure, starting at the apex of my shoulder and continuing down my arm, my back, my legs...and back up. He turned me back around and repeated the process along the front of me.

I felt every brush of his fingertips on my skin, my senses so heightened in anticipation and sensuality that I was sure the smallest thing would set me off. I cried out when his hand purposefully, yet so gently, grazed up to the point where my legs joined, and that was it. I was totally limp, putty in his hands.

I could have sworn that I heard a purr when he moved quickly to support my weight so he could finish rinsing my non-functioning body. He shut off the water and grabbed a towel off the rack with his free hand, swaddling me in the thick, fluffy fabric and tenderly drying my skin completely before easily wrapping a second towel around his own waist with one hand. He lifted me, bridal style, into his arms and carried me back to the bedroom, sitting me lightly on the edge of the bed. He stepped away just long enough to unwrap his towel and finish drying himself off.

I couldn't speak this whole time. My brain was mush. I was caught in a trance as I watched him move so perfectly, so gracefully. His eyes met mine then, and the intensity between us grew once more. He sat on the bed beside me, and his nearness sparked me back to life, my sudden ardor giving me the boost I needed to regain my ability to move.

I shoved the towel away from myself, haphazardly flinging it to the floor, and excitedly pushed the sopping wet cords of hair still dangling wildly around my face off my shoulders.

"Edward?" My own voice was low and rough with desire now. Oh God. I can't take this much longer...

"Yes?" There was a small grin on his lips, his dark golden eyes were still wild with hunger. How he was controlling himself so well was beyond me.

"Lay down." I gently demanded.

"As you wish, my love." He moved so that his head was positioned comfortably on the pillows at the headboard.

"Don't move." I commanded him again.

"Whatever you say..." He said with a casual smile. His eyes were black now, and his...body...was called to full attention. He was definitely enjoying this...

"Now let me show you what _you_ mean to _me_..." I repeated his words from before in what I hoped was an alluring tone. Try not to move. Just enjoy this...

I crawled slowly from the foot of the bed, pausing once I could touch his skin. I began to create my own trail of kisses up from his foot to his ankle and leg, around to his hip—there was no way that he was ready for me to move any closer to his center—and up his ribcage. I subtly changed direction as I made my way across the expanse of his firm chest and not-so-gracefully climbed over him so that my legs now straddled his abdomen, but still avoided making contact with a certain prominent body part. I had to go slowly for him. His whole experience was new to him. I wanted him to know that I would care for him, respect his need to build up to our mutual desire for one another. His unnecessary breathing became ragged, and a growl erupted from his tightly clenched teeth and taunt jaw.

I bit back a smile at the sound and tossed a pillow to him. "Bite this if you need to, my love, and stop me if it's too much." I lowered my head so our lips could meet, and he reached behind me, placing his hands timidly on my back. He was testing himself.

As our kissing deepened, I began to slide my body down his so very, very slowly, so gradually that my intention was clear to him both mentally and physically. I would not take my inexperienced, overwhelmed, vampire of a husband by surprise tonight for each of our sakes.

We gasped together, but another, fiercer growl escaped him as our centers brushed in contact. I felt him tense as I prepared to take him into myself.

"Are you ok?" I breathed as my heart rate and respirations raced in response to my desire for him, my husband.

"I've truly never been better, Iris." He gritted out, his eyes onyx wild with his own readiness.

I slowly lowered myself, closing the distance between my heat and his cool. We gasped again together as he fully entered me.

Again I was taken by surprise at my own reaction compared to my expectation. I couldn't move because I was so consumed with the energy that exploded between us as we became one. He arched his head backward into the pillows, his eyes rolling back just before his lids closed, and a third, deafeningly loud roar gave forth. This time the sound awoke something primitive within me. I had meant to be careful and purposeful in my course tonight, but when he made that noise, I couldn't remember why I was being careful. This was my husband, _my mate. MINE. _

He suddenly ripped his hands away from my back, grasping desperately for anything in his wake as he hissed at the new sensation of being inside of me. His hands settled on the mattress, his fingers digging violently into the bed and shredding away pieces of cotton, foam, and metal springs in chunks as if he were grasping sand on the beach.

His face contorted in pain as he growled. "Wait, Iris! Wait, please. I can't..." I hadn't really even moved yet besides the gently swaying of my hips that seemed to be involuntary as I slowly lost my balance in accordance with my focus. I was just his reaction to feeling me fully. God how were we going to make it through this?

I stopped any and all motion as I came back to full awareness. I even held my breath until I knew that he had full control again. Oh crap. Sorry...

"Iris, I need to do this. It's too much for you to be so in control. I have to do this on my terms." He spoke seriously while he calmed himself, but after a moment, his whip-lashing mood swings struck again as his eyes grew lustful, and he grinned devilishly up at me. "Let me ravish you, my love." He reversed our positions—still keeping our connection—so quickly that when my back hit the mattress I was momentarily confused.

"Edward!" I gasped. Fuck!

He laughed freely as his face moved toward my neck where he began running his nose up and down, inhaling deeply. After a moment, he moved his mouth back toward mine to kiss me over and over and over again until my mind was as solid as mud.

He pulled himself back so that he almost freed himself of me but then moved back in just as slowly.

"Ohhh..." I moaned at the wonderfully charged sensation down below, unable to coherently form any words.

He rocked himself back and forth, outside and inside of me again...back and forth, back and forth...so slowly...so gently...and another feral sound built in his chest, protesting loudly to break free of him, but he never lost his pace.

He increased his rhythm ever so slightly to my delight, somehow a master of all things sensual while he was trailing kisses across my jaw, down my neck...in and out...in and out...

"Oh...God..." I cried softly, but he didn't pause, only moving faster and more forcefully in the most delicious way with every noise I made.

His lips continued their assault across my chest, and I fully yelled when his tongue finally swirled around my pert nipple.

"Iris...so beautiful..." he moaned in a sweetly awed whisper against my breast as he continued to nip gently and suck. He thankfully switched sides, not willing to neglect my other breast.

In and out...in and out...faster and faster...I could feel a pressure building inside of me, crying out _Please! Please!_

"Ed—" Ohmygodohmygod! I was breathless as the feeling within me grew stronger and less deniable. Edward was undeniable.

He abruptly flung his head away from my skin with a hiss as he clenched the headboard, shredding impressive, hand-sized mounds out of the ornately carved wood.

In and out...faster and faster...this feeling couldn't possibly grow any greater...but it did...in and out and in and out...faster and faster...He was everything!

Suddenly a wave of energy overtook me as my body acquiesced, reaching its maximum capacity for such power surging through itself. Edward roared out one final time in pleasure and I just caught sight of him sinking his teeth into a pillow as he too rode out his release. I too moaned as one last joyful wave ebbed me into heaven, and Edward pulled me back to him, a lazy grin forming on his face of unreachable beauty.

A flash of light beamed away from us, blinding in it's power, and then it was totally black.

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	60. OopsIrisDidItAgain

Ch. 60 Oops Iris Did It Again

"Iris?!" I opened my eyes to the sound of Edward's panicked voice.

"What?" My own voice was lazy, raspy, thick with sleep...the sound of a voice after a night of...extreme...pleasure...mmm...

"Love, something's wrong. You've drifted us both somewhere."

"What?!" This time my eyes flew open, and I was much more alert. What the hell?! Drifted? How? Why? Where?!

"I can't be sure since I have never been here before except for your memories, but I think we're in Forks, Washington in Isabella Swan's bedroom..." he sounded very apprehensive as he looked around the space.

It was definitely her room. The same greenish walls and purple comforter with old, yellowed curtains...the desk with the ancient computer...fuck. Where was bella? And—holy shit! "We're naked!" I looked down to see that I was still covered but only by the ripped comforter from the bungalow.

"No one is here, love. Can you drift us back? We need to find Carlisle. I don't know how your intervention in the past may have affected this future. They may not be here in this time." He still sounded very worried...and duh. I was worried. I might have just conceived a half vampire hybrid baby who—if I did—would be making an appearance in the next several weeks—most likely ending my life without proper care—and we didn't know where the only qualified doctor was to care for me...shit shit shit! "Calm down, sweetheart. Your drifting is tied to your emotions, remember? Take a few deep breaths, focus, and bring us back..." That easy, huh? Oh darling, I wish I could...

"I'm not sure I can. I don't know how I brought you with me now! Oh fuck! I'm so sorry..." My face was in my hands as I cursed my lack of control over this ability. Apparently, I wouldn't have complete authority over it until I was changed...which couldn't happen yet. Fucking bullshit! "What if I try to go back, and I end up leaving you here? What would happen then?! Time might fold in itself and the universe would explode. I may never find you again! I'd just be drifting around—possibly pregnant with a hybrid species—alone! Fuck! I'm so screwed. We're so screwed. I'm so so sorry..." I wanted to make myself calm, to control myself, but it was useless. The stupid tears and anxiety which never could seem to stay away had made their inevitable comeback.

"Shhh...it's alright, Iris. None of that will happen. Shhhhh...At least we're together. I'll make sure you're ok, my love." He held me to his chest, brushing my cheek with one hand and my back in the other in soothing strokes.

He continued that way while I cried until my breathing finally became more regular. "Wait here. I have a plan, love." He kissed the top of my head, laid me back on the pillow, and jumped up, rushing from the room. How had this happened?! Everything was so perfect just moments ago...

He returned quickly and was wearing a pair of ill-fitting jeans and a blue and green flannel, obviously he had "shopped" in Charlie's closet. He disappeared in Bella's closet and returned with a t-shirt which read "The Doors" and a pair of black yoga pants for me.

"What are these clothes?" He made a face of distaste at the items, and I couldn't help but laugh through the hysteria threatening to overtake me once more. "Comfort and laziness will always prevail in this new millennia."

"Ok. Well, put these on. We need to go to the Forks house and see if the family is there or if they have been to the area any time recently. If not, at the very least, we can travel to Denali and start there to find them." I sniffed back the tears which were building in my eyes again. Edward placed his hands on either side of my face, ensuring that he had my full attention as I tried to calm myself. "We will be fine, Iris. I will make sure of it. You are safe. Do you understand?" God, I loved this man. He was the yin to my yang.

"Yes." I whispered and nodded my head. I trusted Edward with my life. He would keep me safe. Cool it, Iris. You're not alone anymore.

"Never again." Edward responded earnestly to my thoughts.

I walked to the bathroom for a "human minute" as Bella always called it, and put on the clothes Edward had given me. I raked my fingers through my crazy hair, and stole a hair elastic that I found there, braiding the tangled mess into a more manageable style. When I came back to the room He was scavenging in her drawers, and I was about to ask what the hell he was doing when he tossed a pair of thick socks in my direction. He disappeared in the closet once again and came out holding a thick brown sweater.

"Sorry, love. I don't think her shoes will fit you. I'll find some others for you later, but we need to move. I keep hearing broken thoughts from a man who I think is headed toward this house..."

Shit. Charlie was coming. I looked to the clock on Bella's side table. It was 6:00 P.M., the time when he came home from work. Charlie Swan was nothing if not predictable. I vaguely wondered where Bella was. Did she ever come here from Phoenix? Wait, what year is it?

"I'm not sure." He peeked our the window. "Things have definitely changed since the last time the family was here...do you know the way to the house? He has just pulled into the driveway..."

I pulled the sweater over my head and yanked the thick socks on to my bare feet. "Yes. Let's go!" Edward nodded, and pulled me into his arms.

We were at the old, white house in less than ten minutes, but it seems we would be dealing with worst case scenarios here. The house was empty, weathered, and obviously abandoned as it was still boarded up from the last time the Cullens had been here back in the late thirties. Shit.

It was already dark out, and I was exhausted. I wanted to cry. Why must I always complicate things? Everything was so perfect. What if we couldn't find them? What if I was pregnant? What if something had happened to them in the last however many years...?

"Iris. I'm here, remember? I will not let anything happen. I promise." His voice was stern, not leaving any room for argument. I loved when Edward was so determined.

I laid my head against his chest and sighed. "So what do we do? It's late. I hate to whine, but I'm exhausted. I haven't slept since Scotland because of that stupid cigarette smoke...and our own little adventure back in Bali..." I smiled slightly at the memory in spite of the predicament we were in. "We have no money or fitting clothes..." I looked over my shoulder toward Edward's bare feet. "We can't go in public like this..."

Edward brushed a stray hair away from my face. I probably looked like a mess after our...intimate time...but oh well, who even cared at this point? "You're beautiful, and I so enjoyed every moment we spent together." He kissed me chastely and carried me inside the house before finishing. "We will stay here for the night. I think I left some clothes here last time if they're any good now...Who knows? Maybe Alice saw us and is on her way now. I'll make a fire a you can rest, my love."

I looked around when we crossed the doorway. It was dark, but I could still see a bit in the moonlight which drifted through the small windows on the back wall. Esme hadn't renovated and added the glass at the back of the house yet, clearly. There was no furniture and the place reeked of dust and "old house" scent. "Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore..." I said as I spun around taking in the surreality of the place. The last time I had been here it was so light and airy. Now it was dank and sad.

"Huh. I finally understood one of your popular culture references." Edward mused with his crooked smile. He walked around me to the fireplace and placed some wood inside. He rubbed two sticks together, which I kind of thought was a made up thing, but a fire sparked to life and was blazing in no time. Edward disappeared again.

I went to sit near the warmth of the fire, but before I reached the ground, Edward reappeared carrying a couple of thick blankets. He walked over to the front door, walked outside to shake them free of the dust, and came back, making a pallet on the floor.

"Sleep, Iris. We will sort this out in the morning. You need your rest so that we can make a plan, and you will need your strength for whatever is to come, love."

I don't think he meant for that to sound foreboding, but it did...whatever is to come...whatever IS to come?

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	61. IsThereAProblemOfficer?

Ch. 61 Is There A Problem Officer?

"Edward?" I croaked as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. Edward was nowhere to be found. Where did he go? I pulled myself up to a sitting position.

My head was throbbing from lack of sleep from tossing and turning throughout the night. It was barely daylight out, and the fire was out which would explain why it was freezing cold. Edward wouldn't just leave me here. He had just hunted before the wedding in preparation of our...plans. Maybe he went to go find food? Yeah, I should clean up, so we could leave as soon as he returned...

I folded up the blankets and carried them to the closet at the end of the hall. It was still so strange seeing things so bare. The basic bones of the house were the same, but all the life and warmth I had grown to expect here was gone from it. It was kind of freaky without Edward here...like I was trapped in a horror movie. There were monsters here after all...I shivered at the thought. God, cut it out, Iris! Are you trying to freak yourself out?! Edward is coming back, and you'll be out of here soon enough.

There was a knock at the door. What the hell? Who knocks on the door of an abandoned property...? I wasn't about to answer that. I ducked behind the closet door. Ahhh...just like old times hiding in the closet...Fuck.

When I didn't immediately answer there was the sound of a fist pounding on the door, and then a male voice shouting, "Police! I know you're in there! Look, just come on out, whoever you are. I don't want any trouble, but you're not supposed to be here. It's private property."

It was Charlie's cop voice. Shit. Why was he here?! What should I do? Hide? What if he found me? Wouldn't it be worse if I were to be found hiding here than if I just came out now and told him the semi-truth that I was homeless and just needed somewhere to shield me from the elements? Yeah. It's Charlie. Of course he would understand. He was a dad. Surely he would see me, an apparent teenager, all disheveled and hungry without access to indoor plumbing and take pity on me...welp, here it goes...

I opened the closet door and crept down the hall. A loose floorboard creaked loudly, and I stopped.

"Who's there?!" I distinctly heard the cocking of a gun. Holy shit.

"Chief Swan...Please, I'm no threat. We—my husband and I—just needed somewhere to sleep last night when we got lost after dark. We found this old house...I'm waiting for my husband to come back, and then we're leaving. I coming down the hall. I have my hands up..." It's just Charlie, Iris. He's not going to shoot you. He's one of the good guys...I rounded the corner with my hands still up, and stopped immediately when confronted with the barrel of a gun.

"Do I know you?" Charlie squinted as if he were sizing me up.

"Umm...no, but I know your daughter, Bella..." At mention of the name, his face went white. What was that about? Where the hell was Edward?! He should be back by now. I was starting to get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Bella? How do you know Bella?" His voice was accusing me of something, but I didn't understand.

"We're friends...kind of..." ...As in not really at all, but I know about her from a book I read and then I hijacked her body in different version of this universe...yeah. Sure, we're friends...

He sighed, shook his head looking down at the ground as he placed his gun back in its holster. Thank God. "Did you two go to school together?" He was holding one hand over his face which garbled his voice a little when he spoke.

"Umm...yeah." No other explanation was coming to me. Why did he look so upset? Was Bella being a jerk to him again since I hadn't told her off in this reality?

He sighed loudly again, and looked up at me. His eyes were softer now. "What's your name?"

"Iris...Cullen." It was odd to say it out loud like that, and telling a cop is not how I imagined I would be introducing myself to someone with that name for the first time...

"I'm sorry, Iris, that I have to tell you this...but Bella...uhh..." He took a deep breath appearing to calm himself. There were tears in his eyes. No. Shit. No. Don't say it. "She's dead." Fuck. Shit! No! Why?

"What happened?" My voice broke into a sob. How had this happened? The vampires weren't even here. Why? I don't understand...

"It was a few years back...right after she graduated and left for school. She was going to be a book editor...she always loved reading. I don't know where she got it from. Her mother and I aren't exactly what you'd call bookworms...But uhh...anyway it was an accident. A drunk driver hit her on her way back to home one weekend. I'm sorry. I thought all of her close friends were informed."

"No, I'm sorry! She was your only daughter. Are you alright?!" I was hysterical. I don't know where the sudden outburst came from, but I was so worried for the man who I once called my own father. I wanted to throw my arms around him and sob, but he didn't know me that way.

He looked at me strangely. "I make do." He looked away awkwardly, and then turned his head sharply back toward me like he just remembered something. "Did you say you got lost and you're waiting for your husband? Where is he?" Charlie was narrowing his eyes probably thinking poorly of any man who would leave his young wife alone in an abandoned house in the woods. Trust me, Charlie, I'm right there with you. But this wasn't like Edward. I was really worried now. Something must have happened...but what threat could there be against a vampire? They're nearly indestructible...well, except for—shit!

"Wolves!" Shittity shit shit the werewolves!

"Excuse me?"

"I mean...bears." Fucking werewolves. Shit! "Have there been any bear sightings around here lately? Big bears?" Please say no. Please say that there's no possibility that my vampire husband crossed a pack of young werewolves who weren't familiar with his family's vegetarian ways. Oh God.

"Actually, yeah. For the last two years, but we can't find them. What'd you know about them?" He sounded suspicious. Shit. Double fucking shit. Holy crap. What should I do...?

"Nothing. I know nothing about them." He didn't look like he believed me. Well, no shit, Iris. Probably because you're randomly asking about a very specific thing and now you're freaking the hell out. Of course he doesn't believe you. What am I going to do? My head was still pounding. "Chief Swan, could you take me to the reservation? There's a guy we know there. Sam Uley. My husband went to look for him, but he hasn't come back. I'm worried about him."

"Uley? I know him. He's a good kid. I can take you there, but maybe we should stop by the station first and put out an official missing persons report for your husband if it's been a while...what's he look li—"

"No!" I said too loudly, cutting him off, and then I immediately corrected my tone. "Ahem, I mean no...I'm sure he's just with Sam. Please, would you mind giving me a ride?"

"Well, alright. I'll wait by the door while you get your things."

"I don't have anything with me. We left it all when we got lost..." This was such a stupid lie.

Charlie looked down pointedly at my socked feet. "Where's your shoes?" He raised a brow at me. This was Detective Charles Swan at work. My lie was so fucking dumb.

"Umm...well. I know this sounds crazy, but they got wet when we crossed the river last night coming here. So I left them outside, but when I went to go look for them this morning before you came, they were gone...maybe an animal took them..?" I laughed nervously. What the hell was I even talking about? Edward, please be ok...If I could just find him, everything would work out.

Charlie narrowed his eyes again, and put his finger on his chin before saying. "I'm not sure that I believe you." Shit. "But you seem like a good girl, and if you're in trouble, I'm going to help you. I really wish that if my Bella were still here that someone would help her out. Let's go out to the reservation, and if Sam agrees to take you in, I'll leave you there. At least you'll have a place with food and heat."

"Emily's a great cook." I agreed, hoping that the more detail I gave about them, the more convincing my terrible lie would be. "Thank you, Chief."

"Call me Charlie."

"Thanks, Charlie." I repeated.

As I followed Charlie out to the car, I looked back at the house. What if I was doing the wrong thing by leaving? Where was Edward? Was he really with the wolves? Please...I don't know what to do...

"Do you have a pen and paper?" I asked as I climbed into the passenger side of the familiar cruiser.

"Yeah, here."

I quickly scribbled a note about what had happened and where I was just in case I was totally wrong about this. Something in my gut said I wasn't wrong though...

"That's smart of you." Charlie said approvingly.

"Yeah..." I left the note on the floor inside the doorway, so if he entered there, it would be the first thing he saw. "Ok, I'm ready..." I climbed back into the cruiser and clicked my seatbelt together. God, Edward, please be ok...

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	62. AFamiliarLook

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Ch. 62 A Familiar Look

"Chief Swan?" Sam answered the door rubbing his eyes and squinting at the sunlight as if he had just woken up despite it being nearly eleven in the morning. He glanced at me, obviously confused by my presence with the Forks Chief of Police on his porch. He looked down and frowned at my dirty socks.

"Sam." Charlie nodded. "Iris here says she and her husband...Edwin...?...know you...says they got lost last night and wound up at the old Masen estate." Masen? I guess they used Edward's name last time...

Sam's head tilted ever so slightly to the right in deeper confusion as he inspected me closer. "I don't thi—"

"Edward...and No, Sam and I only met in passing at a gathering once...it was a hell of a party. All those guys had me HOWLING." I looked at Sam meaningfully as I continued. "You've got one hell of a WOLFFiSH grin too, Sam Uley..." I mock punched him, and he glared at me. Come on. Just tell the chief he can leave...Edward? Are you here?

I scanned the little bit of the area I could without being too obvious, but there was no sign of Edward.

Sam seemed to silently decide on something before he looked back to Charlie who seemed oblivious as he scratched his head looking down. He was so torn up about Bella. It was obvious in his slumped posture, and lack of ability to maintain eye contact for any amount of time...Poor Charlie...I sighed quietly to myself at the thought of the sweet man losing his only daughter. He must feel so terrible.

"Masen, you say? ...Yeah actually I do remember her. Iris and I go way back. Thanks for bringing her, Chief." He smiled tightly, but his eyes were off.

"No problem, Sam. I really gotta be getting back to the station. Stay outta trouble, Iris, and come find me if that husband of yours doesn't show up soon." Charlie shot a stern look at me and waved a brief goodbye.

I nodded my head at him politely but didn't speak. I'm afraid that your police force wouldn't be able to handle this kind of missing persons case, Charlie...where are you Edward? Shit.

I followed Sam into the living room, observing the small, unfamiliar space. He shut the door with a "click" and abruptly turned on me. "How do you know about me?"

"Where's Edward?" I countered. I didn't have time for his arch enemies crap.

"I don't know any...Edward." He spoke in a hiss. Whoa he seemed different.

"Oh? So your pack didn't attack a copper-haired, golden-eyed vampire this morning?" I accused. Tell me where he is or I'll find a way to punish you, Sam Uley!

"You know about vampires too?" He looked at me in shocked incredulity.

"I know about all of you. Now where the hell is my husband?!" My thoughts were in turmoil once again, and this time Edward was not around to help me focus.

Sam's eyes widened. "Husband..? You're human!" He growled in horror.

"I'm aware. Where is he?" I turned away from Sam who obviously wasn't going to tell me anything. "Edward?!"

"He's not here, and I haven't seen any 'golden-eyed' vampire. I'm not exactly in the habit of learning the bloodsuckers' names anyway. Why the hell are you so worried about him? You're probably in line to be his next meal! A human with a leech...He did you a favor if he left you." He spat.

"Damnit! He doesn't consume human blood because he and his family live off the blood of animals! Remember the treaty your ancestors made with the Masen's?" I saw a flash of recognition in his dark eyes. Something was very off with him..."Yeah, it's the same ones except now they go by Cullen...look, I need to find him NOW. It's possibly a matter of life or death for me. Please, could you just go round up your pack and track him? You can probably smell his scent on me..." I said, but then my cheeks flushed when I thought about why they would smell him on me...

"I don't take orders from random HUMANS who run with LEECHES." He nearly yelled back at me. This was definitely not the same cool, collected Sam who I had left behind in Forks before.

Shit. I was doing this all wrong. I was freaking out about Edward and trying to call the shots, but these wolves didn't know me. "I'm sorry. Let me backup, please. I'm really sorry for coming to you this way, truly. I'm just dealing with a lot right now...I'm supposed to be on my honeymoon in Bali. I woke up here last night and thought Edward was looking for food this morning, but he never came back. Something's wrong...he would never leave me...especially not now. I have nothing. No family. No friends. No basic resources...Sam, I just need to find him, and I'll be gone. I promise, but I can't do it alone."

"Did the leeches tell you about us?" He was still glaring at me, but his voice softened just the tiniest bit after my pleas.

"No! No, they would never break the treaty. I figured it out about you guys and them before I even got wrapped up in this supernatural stuff...don't ask me how...but I know that you're a good person, a protector. Edward is not a threat to you or any of the other Quileutes. We really did just get...lost...kind of and were going to leave."

"So I'm supposed to believe that this bloodsucker didn't have anything to do with the humans who have been going missing lately? Yeah right." He scoffed with a bitter laugh. Missing humans?

"What do you mean?"

"Your parasite didn't tell you? There have been other vampires here...at least three of them. I bet your 'husband' is out there running with them now, and I'll kill him when I find him!" His tone was sharp once more, his breathing picking up.

Three. Three vampires. James. Victoria...Laurent. No. Not again. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! "No! You can't! I know this is crazy...I...I know you don't know me, but we're on the same side! I want those three dead too, but leave my husband out of it if you find him! Please. He's all I have. He's a good man..." my voice was breaking. No. Be strong. We have to find Edward.

"I don't care what he has told you. You're obviously misinformed about the nature of these monsters. They can't control themselves. They're killers, all of them! Even your precious 'husband' has probably killed at some point. They can't resist. It's disgusting!" He was shaking violently.

With the look of hostility and contempt in his eyes I realized that it didn't matter what I said. He would never believe me. I wouldn't find help here. These werewolves were no longer my allies. There was a darkness to his eyes which wasn't there before yet it was oddly familiar to me...Sure he had hated vampires like all werewolves, but this was something else entirely. He seemed...motivated to hate them, like there was a real, tangible reason now, and I wasn't about to probe him further about it in his current state of unrest.

I began to back away from him, but he followed me as I reached for the door. "I'm sorry to bother you, Sam, really. Please give my regards to Emily." I meant the words to calm him, but instead they seemed to do quite the opposite.

"How dare you speak her name, Leech lover! Their kind stole her from me. How dare you?!" He was shaking so violently now that his person appeared to blur, and we were still inside the tiny house. Shit. Holy shit. "How could you turn on your own humanity and be with that...thing, that monster?! How could you know what it was and still convince yourself that you loved it?! You disgust me just as much as the leeches do!" He wasn't moving fast—yet—but he continued to move closer and closer to me, and I wasn't about to wait around to see when he would stop. I had made a grave mistake by coming here.

I fully turned to the door, yanking at the handle desperately until it broke free, swinging open with a gust of wind. I forced myself outside and down the few steps off the porch, and I didn't stop running once I was outside.

Nothing good ever comes from running into the woods. Fucking shit! I thought we were past all of this, Iris. I was done with the running and the death threats and the drama! When would I just get some fucking peace? Could I not have just a few weeks to enjoy our marital bliss? Was that too much to ask of this fucking Twilight La La land?!

I heard the ripping sound of Sam phasing behind me in the distance and then a snarl. I picked up my pace, unsure of where I was running, but knowing that I couldn't stop and even if I did, I was probably going to be ambushed either way. Where were the rest of the wolves? Was it only Sam now since the Cullens never came? Where the hell was James's Coven? Was I about to be slaughtered? Shit.

I pushed myself forward as quickly as I could, thankful that this was my nineteen—almost twenty—year old body rather than my twenty-nine year old one with less stamina and endurance. I had my best shot as I was...which still wasn't good enough it would seem.

Sam's black wolf form cut me off, jumping out of the trees and causing me to halt in my tracks. I began to back away, my heart pounding into my ears, but he growled at me so fiercely that I got the distinct idea that if I moved any further, he might give me a vampire's funeral. It was trial by association it seemed. This was a man of desperation. This was what it looked like for a wolf to lose his imprint. I realized why I the look had seemed so familiar...I had seen this look before...in John right before I was shot. Fuck.

I pushed away the memories of my past self. Now was no time to get lost in my head or have a panic attack. All of Jasper's words of advice flitted through my mind as I simultaneously tried to focus on the large wolf ahead of me who was stalking forward, his black eyes never leaving mine.

Suddenly without warning he sprung, but I was forced backward from an unexpected direction.

"No!" I heard a ferocious growl from behind me, and Edward appeared before me. He swiftly caught my arm before I hit the ground and positioned himself in a defensive crouch in front of me. Edward?! I was overwhelmingly relieved and, yet, still terrified all at once.

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	63. Predator

Ch. 63 Predator

At the sight of Edward, returned to me in one piece—I'd have to find out where the hell he was all this time, and he'd better have a good explanation—I felt light flow from me originating somewhere near my abdomen. It felt like something outside of me and inside of me at the same time...wait, something inside of me. Not something...someone. I was—

I stood frozen in fear, consumed with paralyzing thoughts of doom and panic at my revelation as I watched Edward fight off Sam. Edward obviously had the upper hand in strength and speed—he was only just a blur to my human eyes—but what Sam lacked in stark power, he made up for in resilience and motive. He was on a mission to kill for his Emily the way that I would kill for Edward. I recalled the way I felt when I thought Edward was lost to me forever back in Volterra. I would have done anything to anyone without remorse. All is fair in love and war, and this was war.

"Stop!" I shrieked at them both as I tried to fight to hold onto the feeling of light leaking from my center. I doubted that my yelling would have the desired effect, but surprisingly they stopped to look at me, Edward holding the growling wolf on the ground in a chokehold as Sam snapped fruitlessly at Edward. "I can get Emily back, Sam. I can save her!"

The black wolf stopped snapping and stared at me. Despite him appearing to be a vicious beast, I could see the depth of pain in his eyes, all his human form had lost. He held my gaze that way, probably questioning my sanity but clearly desperate for it to be true.

"I can travel through time. It sounds crazy, but it's true. Somehow I messed up the timeline. I don't know when, but I do know that it was me. I know how things were meant to play out, and this isn't it. I've seen happier times. I've seen everyone's happily ever after, and I can get back to that."

"No, Iris..." Edward's face was alarmed. He must have thought I meant that I was sacrificing myself again. Never. I had come too fucking far for this bullshit. Edward, pay attention to my thoughts, not just my words. I love you. We only run together...

"No. Don't worry. I'm not leaving you, not ever. You're coming with me. I just know that this isn't how things were meant to be. Our family is lost, Bella is dead, Charlie is broken, and Sam is..." I gestured toward him unable to verbalize the level of torment clearly displayed in his every move. Shit. "We were so close to being happy, and we can get it back, finish this correctly. Sam, phase back. Edward let him go, and please stand behind me. He doesn't trust your vampirism..." Please, my love.

"Love..." Edward began to protest feebly, but he took half a step toward me. Then he focused on my thoughts of why we came here from Bali—why I was able to bring him along—and suddenly he froze.

Sam growled at me in defiance, catching Edward's attention once more, but I only quirked a brow at the wolf. "Do you want your imprint back or not?" His eyes turned back desperate, and his body quivered and shrank in on itself until he laid on the ground, naked and human. Edward tossed his flannel on top of the man, leaving himself bare from the waist up...mmm—no time, Iris—and moved to stand behind me. The significance of this small action was not lost to me. Edward loved me so much that he put all his trust in me, going against all his protective instincts, leaving me in front of a werewolf as I requested. Thank you, my love.

"I won't hesitate to stop him if anything changes." He answered my thoughts firmly. Understood, boss. I smiled to myself, and I felt him place his hand on my elbow, ready to yank me backward as necessary. Nice compromising, hubby. I approve.

I waited until Sam rolled over, positioning the flannel strategically to cover himself for my benefit. He didn't seem like he cared about much anymore, utterly defeated. "Sam, when did you lose Emily? I know this is hard, but I need to know. I want to fix this for you, and if I'm successful, you will never know this pain that you're in now."

He flinched at her name, but he answered me nonetheless. "It was a year and half ago. She was on her way to the hospital to see sue. She had a procedure done, nothing big but enough to need monitoring overnight. I was out patrolling. I had told her to stay put, but she never did listen to me..."

"Ok. I will take care of this. Take care, Sam. I hope we never meet again in your current reality. Next time I hope we are strangers and you are with Emily."

He looked at me oddly. I wasn't really sure how much of this he was following, but it wasn't important. I could feel that I was losing grip on the light. I had to go now with Edward. He turned me into his chest and nodded. He gripped me as tight as he dared and leaned over to kiss me deeply. I focused all my mind on him, us. Please let this work...

A flash of blinding, white light surrounded us, and then it was pitch black again.

•PTaT•

"Love, you did it."

I gasped in a breath as I was conscious once more. I looked around me to see that we were standing back in the bungalow, exactly where I had aimed...Well, there was a first time for everything. Or maybe I had nothing to do with it at all.

"No...we did it." I looked down to my abdomen and rubbed it gently, motherly.

Edward's lips parted to form the most dazzling of all his smiles, his eyes venomous. "So it's true? You're pregnant?" The hope in his voice was nearly tangible, so sweet that my own eyes teared up.

"I think so. It's the only thing that makes sense. I've never been able to take you with me before. Apparently our little nugget is gifted even from conception..." Which, honestly, kind of freaks me out, but what's done is done...We are going to be in trouble when he or she gets here...I smiled warmly as thoughts of our child filled my mind. I still pictured the baby girl with the whispy copper locks.

Edward scooped me into his arms, spinning me around and peppering me with kisses as he laughed. It sounded like music to my ears, and I couldn't help but laugh along.

"Wait are you sure we're back to the right time...?" I looked around skeptically.

"Yes, love. I have a photographic memory, so unless someone perfectly preserved our things and saved our...mess—" Edward's eyes twinkled in amusement. "—then we are definitely back to our honeymoon. I also called Carlisle just before I woke you. Crisis averted. I'm so proud of both of you." He leaned over and placed a reverent kiss on my still flat belly. My own body hadn't even registered our blessed invader yet.

Edward chuckled at my thoughts. "A blessed invader? Couldn't you think of some other phrase to capture the miracle that is our baby?"

"I'll keep thinking on it. What do we do now? Should we go back to Scotland?" I couldn't help the disappointment that seeped into my voice. I wasn't ready to share this with anyone. I was still adjusting to it myself.

"That depends...How are you feeling, mother of my child?" Edward moved to cup my cheek in his hand, and I leaned into it.

"Tired again...And hungry...And my bladder is about to burst."

"Pregnancy?" He lifted his brows as if to say 'already?' And I giggled.

"No, there just wasn't a good time to use the restroom or eat between having the police chief take me in and a wolf nearly attacking me...busy morning." I walked in the direction of the restroom.

When I finished my business, I brushed my teeth and stripped off the too small clothes from Bella's room. I looked at myself totally exposed in the mirror in wonder. I didn't feel like I looked any different, but something was off. Yeah, there was definitely something different about my skin.

"You're glowing." Edward surprised me in the doorway. I covered as much of myself with my hands as I could out of habit, and Edward frowned, biting his lower lip. Oh yeah... "You needn't ever cover yourself again around me. If I had it my way, you would remain unclothed all the time..." His eyes were smoldering in that irresistible way that I was becoming so familiar with. Yummy.

My skin tingled as he spoke. I was really starting to like this bathroom. It seemed to be the catalyst to all my favorite activities as of late...Edward chuckled seductively, his eyes hungry.

"Aren't you hungry?" His voice was deep, rough with desire.

"Yes, but not for food at the moment..." He took a step closer to me, and I backed away coyly.

"Oh, so you would like for me to fill the role of predator this time?" He purred, punctuating the word 'predator.' Ooh a married, unrestrained, happily de-virgined Edward is my favorite type yet.

"Catch me if you can!" I said in a playful whisper and darted around him, knowing it was a pointless game but loving the adrenaline rush that came with pretending that I had a chance.

I heard a dark growl come from behind me, and I giggled as I slid open the back door which, now in the daylight, I could see opened directly on to a beach covered in black sand. Rich vegetation appeared in patches which grew sparser in the sand the closer I came to the ocean's edge.

I didn't stop running until my feet hit the water, and I stood there, derrière fully out. I knew Edward had made sure that we were secluded when planning this, so I didn't stop to worry about any other people seeing me this way.

The waves gently splashed over my feet and receded back into the ocean. I glanced over my shoulder to see a glittered Edward stalking slowly toward me. "You can run, my dear, but you cannot hide. You'll never escape me." His voice had a nearly tangible texture to it like velvet sandpaper if that were a thing...Man, he was playing this role well...I hopped a few feet deeper into the water and dove under, relishing the feel of the warm, salty liquid on my skin. It had been ages since I had been near a warm ocean this way. It reminded me of the few times I traveled to the gulf beaches when I was younger.

I swam under the clear waves as far as my lungs would allow before I pushed off the ocean floor and my head broke through the water's surface.

Edward was nowhere to be seen. Not too smart to play cat and mouse with the ultimate predator, Iris.

I smiled to myself in anticipation. "Oh boy, it's such a lovely day for a swim. Whatever could go wrong on a beautiful, sunny day like today?" I called out a little too loudly on purpose, biting back my giggles as I treaded water. "I really hope there aren't any sharks out here..."

Something cold brushed my leg and I screeched. Then it snatched at my ankle, locking my leg in its grip and tugging me downward. I held my breath as I braced myself to be submerged. Edward encaged me gently in his arms as he and I tumbled underwater. He pulled me back to the surface, and I fell limp in his arms, eyes closed. I'm unconscious...revive me, kind sir.

Edward laughed ruefully at my antics. "Life will never be boring with you, will it?"

I scowled when he didn't play along with my newest role play, but I couldn't hide my grin as I answered. "Not if I can help it. Though, I do want to avoid scenes like today. I swear they just keep coming to me. I don't even try!"

"I know, love. Today was my fault...well, partially." He said with a hint of guilt in his voice.

"Yeah, where were you? I was freaking out! I thought you were dead!" I smacked his bare chest, and he drew me into him, placing a kiss on my forehead as he ran his finger along my cheekbone. His icy trail left a burning heat in its wake.

"The three nomads were close to the house. I was worried that they might scent you and we might relive what happened to you before, except this time we wouldn't have the family with us to help. I ran to intercept them as soon as I heard their minds. They smelled you on me, and I had to tell them atrocious lies...things I did to you—things which I would rather not ever have to repeat—in order for them to believe me. I was with them for over three hours making sure that they travelled farther north. By the time I could get away, I found your note about the...wolf. I ran straight to you, treaty be damned."

"Well, I suppose I won't make you sleep on the couch tonight then..." I said playfully with an eye roll.

"It was you who spent all day in the doghouse, love. I'm sorry." He said in a half amused, half sincere way.

"You should be! I'm pregnant with your child. You're really going to have to be more careful with me." I chastised, my voice thick with sarcasm, and Edward smiled his freakishly wide, yet dazzlingly white, grin.

"You're pregnant." He whispered in a faraway voice, his eyes grew warm even as they sparkled in the sunlight like every other piece of his exterior.

"We've established this already." My eyes narrowed in confusion. No way did he forget...

"I know, but...you're pregnant." He repeated and shook his head in disbelief. His eyes travelled downward, pausing once they landed on my abdomen with an awed expression. He slowly, purposefully moved his hand to carefully place his palm there, cradling the natural curve of my lower belly. Now he was the one who was glowing. He really must not have allowed the news to fully sink in until this very moment.

I reach my arms out to encircle his neck, pulling his forehead to meet mine. "Congratulations, Daddy." I whispered, and I kissed him with all the love I felt in my being as I dreamed about the miracle we had created together.

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	64. HandleWithCare

Ch. 64 Handle With Care

The flight back to Scotland was just as horrible as the first go around, but after two days of debating about it, I had convinced Edward that a cruise would not be ideal. I would rather just suffer through a day of choking on smoke than a week of seasickness and possible broken bones as our baby outgrew me. Edward could not deny that we should be getting back to Carlisle as quickly as possible to begin my blood—gulp—regimen. Plus I think he was trying to abide by the old adage, "happy wife, happy life." Wise man, my husband was.

"Iris, love, are you sure you're alright?" Edward's worried voice travelled through the bathroom door at the back of the plane. Airplane bathrooms of the 1970s were even grosser and smaller than the twenty-first century ones if you can believe it. I had spent way too much time in here. Fucking disgusting. My inner-nurse wanted to Lysol the shit out of this place. How humans have survived this far in time without the basic things we use in 2020 for hygiene and public safety is beyond me. Apparently, our older generations are a bunch of badasses who can survive world wars and less than desirable living—and flying—conditions, like cockroaches! But I am not too proud to admit that I am not a cockroach. I'm not even an ant. "Ugh..." I groaned as more heaving began.

Edward knocked lightly on the door again. "Love?" His concern for me was nearly palpable. This was my fourth trip to the bathroom during this flight. I had been dry heaving for the last half an hour since I no longer had anything left in my stomach.

"I'm fine, Edward. You know, we could have saved some money by telling them I would just be riding in here. They probably would've only charged us half price for the ticket." I could imagine Edward pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head at me. "I don't even know if this is morning sickness, the cigar smoke, or food poisoning from that satay cart earlier. I should have listened to you when you told me not to eat that...bleh...ohhhh..." I moaned as I leaned my head back over the toilet. God, this nasty bathroom was probably exacerbating my sickness. I gotta get out of here...how much longer...?

"It's just 45 more minutes, love. They're about to tell us to return to our seats and buckle up. Do you need help?" The helplessness in his voice was pitiful.

"I think I'll make it." Just then a fresh wave of nausea hit, and I turned back to the disgusting receptacle. "Or not..." Oh God...

The door swung open, and clicked shut so quickly that I wasn't sure if I heard correctly. I was too sick to look up and check. Kill me now, dark stranger. I don't have the energy to fight you...

"Come here, sweetheart." Edward picked me up off the dirty floor, leaned back against the sink, and held me in his arms awkwardly in the small space. He rubbed soothing circles on my back and crooned words of comfort in my ear. "Have a peppermint. I hear it helps." He pulled a mint from his pocket and placed the candy on my tongue when I lamely parted my lips.

"Are you always in the habit of carrying around peppermints with you, my dear vampire husband? That was really odd." I mumbled.

Edward laughed. "Only for you. I retrieved it from the stewardess. Feeling better?" Oh yes, the overly helpful attendant who frequented our bay of seats three times as often as the other passengers. I wonder why...Edward chuckled.

"A little." I spoke hesitantly waiting for a fresh wave to hit.

"Let's get back to our seat. The man sitting closest to here seems to think we're joining the mile-high club." He wagged his brow conspiratorially, and I huffed out a laugh despite my stomach cramping. Oh God...

As soon as the door opened, Edward placed me on my feet so as not to attract anymore attention, but he kept one hand under my arm and walked closely behind me, so that he could catch me quickly if need be.

I leaned my head back in the seat as Edward latched my lap belt and smoothed back my hair. "I don't remember Bella being this sick so soon...it's been four days. Hang on..." I held my finger up weakly to him as I tried to do some quick mental math. Bella was pregnant for roughly four weeks so 28 days...a typical pregnancy for humans is 40 weeks, so that's...carry the one...280 days—nice math Stephanie Meyer. I see what you did there...anyway that would mean that a day for me is ten days of a typical pregnancy. So my 4 days of pregnancy is equal to about 40ish days of a typical pregnancy which would put me at—

"Six weeks along." Edward answered for me. "You know, for how many silly predicaments you find yourself in, your mind is very methodological. It's intriguing to hear." He leaned over to kiss my temple.

"Umm thanks...? Was that a compliment or should I be offended, hubby?" I frowned at him.

"A compliment."

"Smart man." I leaned back in the seat once more and closed my eyes.

"Excuse me, sir, but we will be landing in thirty minutes. This is my last round. Could I offer you any refreshments or maybe a snack?" The attendant's sickly sweet voice made me want to vomit again. Ugh. Gag me. Why are these thirsty bitches always coming after my husband?!

Edward had to cough to cover a laugh, but after a second he said, "No, nothing for me, but maybe some water for my wife. She's pregnant. Isn't that wonderful?!" The joy and excitement in his voice was unmistakeable, and I peeked out of the corner of my eye to see the flight attendant smile tightly and nod.

"Mmhmm...congratulations to you both then." For some reason, I don't think she was as happy about that as she played off...She turned abruptly, skipping all the other passengers. Poor thing. She's probably going to go cry.

"Iris..." Edward sighed with a faint smile, but after all this time together, he was happily resigned to my petty jealousy.

For the record, she never returned with my water either...

Once we finally landed and were back to home sweet Glascow, Edward was right back to himself or maybe even worse than usual, protecting me from any and all perilous situations including but not limited to: people looking "suspiciously" in my direction at the aiport, strangers having "provocative thoughts" about me on the way through baggage claim and customs, and birds flying "much too close for comfort" overhead in the parking lot.

"Birds? Really Edward? Birds?!" I threw my hands up over my head is exasperation as he attempted to steer me toward the taxi.

"They could have darted toward you. Do you know how many diseases fowls carry?" His voice was rising even as he spoke. "And put your arms down. Pregnant women are not supposed to reach for anything." He was holding me close to his side...I guess so I didn't have to 'reach' too far...

OMG. "You can't be serious. Are you going to wrap me in bubble wrap too?" I was struggling to break free of him, but he only held me closer to him.

"If it comes to that I will do what I must to keep you and our baby safe. You have to be careful!" His forehead creased with worry as he looked over to me.

"I'm being very careful. What's going on? You were ok in the plane. What happened?" I dug my feet into the ground to make Edward stop. He just picked me up, carrying me straight to the door.

He ducked his head close to me just before he opened the door, and said in a low whisper. "This is NOT a typical pregnancy and this will only be for a few more weeks. Please just let me care for you in the only way I know how. The idea of losing you haunts my every waking moment which is twenty-four hours per day. I promise I will try to be more considerate of your...active nature, but you do need to rest and calm yourself for this to work. Please, Iris." He was nearly begging me, and my heart broke for him. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning my cheek against his chest. He was afraid for me. He had been putting on a good show these last four days, but all that denial and repression was coming to a head.

"I'll take care of myself. I promise. This baby is so important to me too—"

"YOU are important to me. Never forget that. I love this child already as any father should, but I won't sacrifice your wellbeing either." Fine. You're slightly crazed, but it comes from a good place. "Thank you." He sighed and kissed my cheek. He placed me gently in the backseat of the car and told the driver where to take us as he handed me another peppermint.

This letting go of control thing did not suit me, but I guess it would be nice to be pampered for the next few weeks...

I looked out the window at the passing trees in a blur, and the motion made me dizzy. Oh God...Edward leaned past me to roll down the window in time for me to lean out and lurch the little bit of acid which remained in my stomach. Ugh...this is only the beginning...

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	65. FreeSpirit

Ch. 65 Free Spirit

"Ugh...maybe we should just cancel this whole thing. I feel awful..." I looked to Edward from my place on the floor of our restroom. I had been here so often that I had practically moved in as evidenced by my pillow and blanket lying on the floor by me. At least it was beautifully decorated. Esme had really outdone herself with the intricately patterned, black and white Spanish tile which was now splattered with a lovely shade of taupe...AKA my vomit...so, overall, I can say that pregnancy so far has been great, 10 out of 10, 5 stars...

"It's nice to hear that you don't lose your sardonic humor even when sick." Edward smiled slightly from where he stood in the doorway. He never left my side. The man was a saint.

He pushed me forward enough on the floor to slide in behind me, leaning against the wall with his legs spread around me. I fell back into his chest miserably as he placed a cold compress on my forehead.

Alice peeked into the room suddenly. "No! This baby shower is happening even if we have to bring it right here to the bathroom, Iris Elizabeth Cullen." Ohh my whole name...Alice must really mean business. Oh well. Who cares? Let her scream.

I sat forward just in time to retch into the porcelain bowl.

"You're really sick if even the wrath of Alice doesn't motivate you." Edward frowned at me. Yuh think?

"Did you think I was pretending? You should know by now that I'm not that great of an actress...Better than Bella, but still. I need some practice and a bit of venom to reach your status." I smiled weakly, and Edward chuckled despite the wrinkle in his brow which remained in his ever-present state of stress over me...

•PTaT•

"Oh a little jumper! How lovely!" The smile hadn't left Esme's face since we had arrived home three days prior.

Alice wasn't kidding...the family was sitting in our bedroom—which was fully decked out because she had planned the ultimate baby shower, of course, and, as stated, wasn't going to cancel it—while I remained on the bed. Rose and Esme opened gifts and held them up for me to see as I tried my hardest to show the appropriate level of enthusiasm each time, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to respond.

"It's so sweet. Thank you, Rose." Everyone had purchased—or made—clothing which was either gender neutral or something for each gender. Our child had enough clothes to cover him or her into adulthood...I shook my head and smiled to myself when I looked around at the mounds of clothing surrounding me on the bed. "Alice I think you've gone overboard."

"Impossible. My niece or nephew deserves the best, and I'm going to teach him or her the importance of proper attire and presentation." Her speech was as impassioned as if she were talking of stopping world hunger.

"Mary Alice Cullen...saving the day one fashion faux pas at a time..." I smirked.

"Laugh it up, but without my expertise, you would look ridiculous in this time. Your twenty-first century style has done you no favors here." She stuck out her tongue childishly, and I actually giggled past the nausea at how seriously she took her fashion sense.

I moved to stand, and instantly Rose was at one side and Edward at the other.

"Love, what is it? I've told you so many times to ask us for anything that you need. It's no bother to us." Edward's brow creased as he held his hands out ready to run in whichever way I directed him.

Rosalie and Edward wouldn't stop asking me if I was hungry, tired, nauseous, hot, cold, etc...So, you know, I was going insane...

Don't get me wrong, it was fantastic to have all the love and support, but never in my life had I had so many people so concerned about my health...All. The. Time. It was amazing, but also very unnerving. I felt like I was suffocating.

"Well, could you bring the toilet to me then? I'm sure no one would be offended by my use of it right here in the middle of the room, right?" I said with an angelic smile, and Emmett and Jasper burst out laughing. Edward only narrowed his eyes at me with a sigh.

"I love pregnant Iris! She's feisty!" Emmett howled.

"So moody." Jasper agreed with a grin but instantly quieted when I glared at him.

Emmett had certainly been entertained by the pregnancy thus far. "You're as big as a house."

"Emmett..." I snapped. "I'm barely even showing yet..." I looked down at the small, but visible bump accentuated by my slightly too tight cotton shirt I had put on for the party. I yanked the hem of the shrinking shirt down to cover the small sliver of skin peeking out.

"Maybe she needs Edward to calm her down. Should we leave the room?" He wagged his brow. Good lord.

I pushed off the bed to stand even as Rosalie grabbed my hand. I noticed her turn her head slightly and freeze as a breeze blew through the window, wafting my scent all over her unexpectedly.

"Rose, please. I'm completely fine. This is ridiculous and isn't even the hardest part of the pregnancy yet." I swatted away her hand. "Go get some fresh air."

"I'm fine. What can I do for you?" She persisted.

"I think the hardest part may have been back in Bali..." Emmett was rolling on the ground and Jasper snickered. Holy fuck with the sex jokes.

Edward growled at him and probably would have launched himself toward his hysterical brother if he weren't so busy fussing over me. "Love, let me carry you. The bathroom is so far..."

"Iris, you should have paired the lilac top with that skirt. Oh, I'll just go get it myself.." Alice danced past me to the closet.

"Would you like some more juice, dear?" Esme asked sweetly.

Oh. My. God. "Stop!" I shrieked, taking a step back from everyone and putting my hands out in front of me. I shut my eyes and inhaled a slow steady breath as nausea threatened to consume me again. When I opened my eyes, I instantly felt bad for snapping, but I couldn't handle all this attention anymore.

"Love..."

"No, Edward, please." I held my hand up to stop anyone from coming toward me.

The room was silent for approximately two seconds until Carlisle appeared in the doorway shuffling through some papers and not paying a bit of attention to us. "Iris, are you in pain? I could prescribe something for you if you need it...I think it's time you start taking blood as well. We've put it off for as long as we can—" He stopped talking when he noticed my expression.

It was too much. My thoughts were spinning, and I was going to lose my freaking mind in here. The air felt heavy around me with so many people surrounding me. I couldn't take the questions and the hovering and constant 'help' offered to me. I wanted to hurl again. My head was hurting, and it was all just too fucking much. "I'm going to the bathroom ALONE, and don't you dare try your emotion manipulation right now, Jasper!" I turned my head sharply toward Edward just in time to see him shooting a certain look at Jasper who nodded his head minutely. "Edward, you can monitor my thoughts all you want from behind the CLOSED bedroom door. I want complete silence for at least an hour!" I knew I was being irrational. I knew I was being a brat. I just needed one second. It had been non-stop 'shower Iris with love and attention' for the last seven days, and I was going to have to be admitted to the psych ward pretty soon if I didn't get some space.

"Iris, I'm so sorry, dear. I don't mean to upset you..." Esme had her hands outstretched hopelessly toward me.

I took another deep breath, walked to her, and bent over slightly to kiss her cheek as I spoke sincerely, my voice tinged with just a hint of distress. "It's not you, Esme. You're all wonderful. I just need a minute, please. Then you guys can haul me around like the giant whale I will be soon enough." I looked back to Edward who still looked as if he was going to sweep me back into the bed. "This is my last chance as a human to be independent and move around freely before things get bad."

Carlisle moved to where I stood. "You're right, Iris. We're overwhelming you. Let's give her some space everyone." He looked around, meeting each person's eyes, landing on Edward.

"Carlisle—" My overbearing—but good-intentioned—husband began.

"Son." He gave Edward a reproachful look, and he stubbornly sighed to himself but relented.

Immediately, everyone cleared the room, even Edward who left with a slight frown and a parting look.

"Thank you." I whisper to my adoptive father as I placed a kiss on his cheek as well before making my way to the restroom.

A few minutes later I found myself lying on the floor of the bathroom, heaving into the toilet once again. Fuck! I hated that Edward was right. I couldn't do this alone. Damnit.

"Edward..." I moaned, and he was next to me in an instant.

"Come here, back to bed..." he pulled me up, wiping my face off. He carried me back to the bed, undressed me and redressed me in warm, cotton pajamas. I stared at him as I felt incredibly guilty at my outburst from twenty minutes before.

"Aren't you angry with me for how I acted a little while ago? Why are you helping me?"

"Of course I'm not mad...Pregnancy is a difficult time, and I know it can leave you wrought with emotion."

I quirked a brow at him, choosing to ignore his blame of my hormones for my rightful emotions. "Not even a little upset?"

He studied my face for just a second before responding with a sheepish look. "...Ok, I will admit that I was disappointed, but I understand. You're a very independent, free-spirited individual, and I see now that it was unfair of us to expect you to simply change that overnight. I'm glad you're still doing so well—nausea aside—but from everything you have told me about how things went with Bella's pregnancy, I'm going to be watching you very closely in the coming weeks. No arguments. Your extensive medical education has taught you how dangerous childbirth can be even for typical human pregnancies. Please behave yourself." He kissed my forehead, and passed a cup of tea to me which I turned my nose at. It didn't smell right, and I gagged a little.

Edward frowned a bit, but said nothing as I laid back on the pillows. I was suddenly overcome with exhaustion and allowed myself to sink into the fluffy down comforter. Edward rolled to his side so he could hug me close to him as he hummed an unfamiliar tune and my mind wandered into dreamland.

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	66. BloodAndOtherDrugs

Ch. 66 Blood And Other Drugs

"I will always get my way, Iris. Drink! Don't you dare resist what you know will only help you, save you. Drink! Partake of the life force before you and strengthen yourself! Drink, damnit, DRINK!"

I awoke suddenly with a gasp, my lungs screaming for oxygen as if I hadn't taken a breath in too long and my hands clutching onto Edward's shirt so tightly that my knuckles were white. My hair was wet and sticky with sweat, splayed across my face. What the fuck?!

"Iris, Love? It was only a dream. You're alright. You're here with me. Breathe, sweetheart." I felt the coolness of Edward's lips rest against my temple and his hands around my center pulling me into him, the steady rise and fall of his chest against mine was setting a calming pace for my own ragged breathing.

"Edward?" I croaked groggily.

"Yes, love. Shhhh." He pushed my hair back out of my face and held me closer to him for a moment before helping me up to offer a a sip of water to me from the cup on the bedside table. I shook my head with a grimace as my stomach lurched.

The dream had seemed so real, so tangible. I could still smell the metallic scent of the blood I was swimming in. It was so much blood...probably the combined volume of every person whose life I had ended, reaching up to my neck in a never-ending ocean. I was drowning in it, barely able to keep my head above the surface. My only way out was to swallow, but I couldn't, wouldn't. A disembodied, sickeningly familiar face, his skin gaunt, thin, and white as paper, floated around and taunted me as the dark stringy ends of his hair dragged slowly against the thick, red, hot liquid.

I closed my eyes as I remembered, and a tear ran down my cheek.

"Iris? Look at me." Edward spoke directly into my ear. I could tell it was still late...or maybe early even with my eyes squeezed shut. No light shone through my lids and the sound of crickets playing their mating call drifted up through the crack in the window. I had been experiencing so many hot flashes while I slept for the last couple of nights that Edward had begun opening the window before I slept, and he would lay near me, shirtless, throughout the night.

I kept my eyes closed, unwilling to face the reality that I knew was coming. "Iris. It's fine, love. Aro is not here. You're safe." He saw my dream, of course. It was too real for him to have missed it. He always knew what I dreamed about as he watched me sleep, but my dreams had never been so dark and vivid prior to the pregnancy. This shit was crazy.

"Iris!" His voice grew stern, calling me to his attention as I continued to ignore him.

"I can't do it." I finally whispered into his chest...I know I have to, but I'm scared. I mentally amended.

I could already feel it—the inevitable craving—and I was only a week along in the pregnancy. My body needed blood—the baby needed it—but the thought of consuming any of it again both disgusted and enticed me. And THAT feeling, the nagging itch in the back of my throat, was my worst fear. I was going to be a monster.

Edward frowned at my thoughts. "Iris, you have nothing to be afraid of. I will never let you become a monster or allow this to consume you. Blood is merely a necessary evil to the life you have chosen, but I can help you through this part. I have fought with myself for far too many years—torn myself to pieces—and I won't watch you do the same. You are stronger than this. The blood will be nothing but a source of sustenance for you and our child. We have waited long enough...It's time, and I think this dream may be your body's way of reminding you." He placed his hand on my cheek in a silent plea for me to listen to him, to really trust what he was saying...And I did trust him, but all that blood...

"I know, love." He murmured gently to me, consoling me with not only his words but also his touch as he caressed the skin of my lower back which had been exposed as I slept. He continued to rub the rhythmic circles around and around on the same sensitive spot, and the longer he did so, the more my skin began to sweat again, but this time the feeling was not uncomfortable. Oh God...I shuddered in pleasure.

I pulled back from Edward's chest slightly to look into his eyes which were now darkening. He caught onto my mood instantly as his irises turned to coal.

Pregnancy was weird. One minute I was crying and feeling doomed, the next I was overwhelmed with lust and desire for my incredibly handsome, exceedingly patient, wonderfully kind, and exorbitantly loving husband. Wait, why am I complaining?

I slowly drew his shirt upward, my finger dancing across his marbled abdomen, and a low, involuntary purr emanated from Edward's chest. I grinned deviously as I shoved the shirt to the side of the bed and returned to my previous task of playing the irresistible temptress.

"You don't have to act." Edward groaned happily.

I decided to up the ante so to speak when my nails began to trace each crevice of his chiseled abdominal muscles. I rose slowly onto all fours, the eggplant-sized bump that used to be a relatively—relative because I love food too much—flat space even more apparent to us in this position than it had when I fell asleep hours before. Edward paused to lay a protective hand there, and I watched as his lips curved upward in the sweetest way. He was so in love with our child already. His eyes met mine in an intense, smoldering gaze.

"Come here, temptress." He said in a playfully seductive voice. I giggled and crawled the rest of the way to him, happy to oblige.

The more often we were intimate, which we had more and more practice with as of late since the honeymoon, the more confident and controlled—in a good way—Edward was. He could now easily enjoy himself without the threat of hurting me. I am thoroughly impressed with your progress, Mr. Cullen...

"Practice makes perfect..." he hummed against my neck, blowing his cool, honey-saccharine breath down the front of my shirt. He kissed his way back up my neck, across my jaw, catching and sucking on my lower lip. Without warning, he ripped my shirt to shreds and tossed it to the floor beside his own. He moved to sit up so I was perched on his lap. He trailed his fingers up and down my arms as he began his descent to my breasts, rubbing his face back and forth between the two. I couldn't help the giggle that escaped when his hair tickled my chin.

"Yes, practice...Don't we know it..." I gasped when his tongue brushed across my nipple, and he chuckled, the movement creating the most tantalizing sensation...ohhhh...

I bowed myself—awkwardly but effectively—forward and Edward complied with what he saw in my mind that I wanted, leaning himself back against the pillows once more, and I moved with him while he kept his hands on my hips for guidance and support. He lifted his hips as he continued to hear the direction of my thoughts, and I drew his pants down slowly toward his feet, fully exposing him. Hello, old friend... An alluring expression of hunger glinted in his eyes as another rumble formed in his chest.

I smiled devilishly as I grasped him fully in my hand. Tonight we play rough, darling—well, rough for a human. Edward hissed in agreement, his hands moving to grasp the pillows on either side of his head. He seemed unable to speak from the contrasting sensation of my sweltering hand to his coolness.

A untamed, boisterous roar erupted from his throat when I stroked him, and his hands were on the move again, gliding down my chest, up my thighs, and finally grazed me through my thin cotton shorts roughly enough for me to cry out in pleasure but gently enough so as not to harm me. Edward was a surprisingly zealous lover for how tender and gentle he usually was outside of the bedroom with me.

"Iris..." Edward whispered roughly as he turned his face to groan into the bed, his hips thrust upward, deeper into my hand, and I stroked my thumb over him again, only making his growl louder. I released him from my warm grip, leaning over to trail kisses over his body until I felt him tremble below me. "Love..." he sighed contentedly.

I continued my quest upward until my mouth nearly reached his full lips. He met my eyes, and I could see that his were even impossibly darker, a deep sea of onxy and silky tar. He turned me—carefully—on to my back, and, with an expression of anticipation, slashed my shorts off just as quickly as he had my top. His teeth sunk into his lower lip as he quirked a brow in another seductive, majestic way. How many expressions could this man make to draw me to him? Oh my God...

He shifted moods again as he placed a hand tenderly on my face, caressing my skin gently but after a moment he allowed his hand to explore lower. His right index finger trailed through the valley of my breasts, continuing down the center of my abdomen, winding around my navel, and I clenched my toes at the feeling building within me. Edward smirked at my impatience. I can't help it!

He softly scratched his fingers across my lower belly, bypassing where he knew I wanted his touch the most and, instead, began a circuit up and down my leg, starting at my calf and stopping just below where my legs met in the center. He came closer and closer to me with each cycle until my thoughts could form nothing but a simple moaning request. Please touch me...Please. Please...ple—

Suddenly I gasped as his finger pressed firmly against me, swirling and massaging in the perfect rhythm, and I shrieked with pleasure. Thank you...yessss...

He continued to pleasure me there over and over, but then added the mind-blowing sensation of his fingers _inside_ of me. His brilliant mind, full of so much space for information and precise calculations knew exactly what to do to give me maximum satisfaction and he did just that. My body was pulsing with energy which moved outward until it seeped from every crevice, and the tension within me only grew evermore present the longer he continued. Oh, Edward...

In and out and in and out, my mind was lost to him, his skin on my skin just so...Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!

This man had to be an angel sent from God himself to give me the ultimate release. His fingers were the instruments helping compose this perfect symphony, percussion, wind, and strings pulling me into the bright abyss of a climax. Oh Gooooooodddd!

I was suddenly so overcome with a surging wave of power that I couldn't have described if I wanted to, the feeling more intense and amazing than I could have ever anticipated in my most deviant fantasies, and my body seized with gratification.

I wanted to tell Edward what he was doing to me, that he was killing me slowly in his sensual pursuit of my body. He needed to know, but only weak moans and gasps would form on my lips.

But even as my body calmed, descending from its most heightened state, he lowered his mouth to my chest again and continued his game. I moaned out loud once more as his tongue swirled around each mound, hitting the soft pebbles there at the center of each in a patterned motion. His fingers continued massaging, twisting, and pinching me as he pleased, threatening to pull me back up and over the edge once more. Holy shit. My God, I can't...

And then he was inside of me, all of him. Ed—

He pulled back until he barely rested inside of me, stimulating and manipulating my body, intentionally trying to drive me mad even as he grinned in his own pleasure.

Just as I wanted to yell at him for being such a fucking tease, he thrust himself forward, giving me what I wanted, what we both needed in that moment.

His eyes were so black now that they were practically just two voids, making everything around them seem vivid and much more saturated with life and color than usual. His face took on a look of untethered determination the farther that he pushed himself.

I couldn't keep track of his motions, but it didn't matter anymore because he was rocking my world. In and out and in and out, deeper, faster, in and out, around and around and around, in and out...ohhhhh...I loved this man with everything in myself. No piece of me was left untouched as I once again felt the need for release. Edward's jaw grew taunt as he ground his teeth, seemingly lost in his own pleasure and unaware of how he was so wonderfully torturing me.

In and out, in and out... The stirrings of pressure and the feeling which I could only explain as a physical manifestation of this god-like man reaching deep within me and stroking my being all the way to my soul, expanded from within, continuing to rise higher and higher, growing until there was finally an uncontrollable explosion, an external blindingly beautiful current of power surging from us both. My mind, body, and soul melted into one puddle of hopelessness as I succumbed to the inevitable result of being with my love.

I whimpered even as Edward released his own beautiful howl, and then there was complete silence as we each floated back to Earth from the theoretical mountain top which he had so thoroughly helped us reach. Our bodies convulsed in fantastical synchrony as the ebbing waves of vitality dissipated from us both.

I wrapped my legs around him with the tiny amount of strength I had left, not willing to let him go just yet, pulling myself closer to him, but he shifted just enough so that my bulging tummy was positioned away from his marbled body, avoiding putting any pressure on the baby.

My heart was still thrumming in my chest, my breathing sharp and irregular as if I had just run a full marathon in the Sahara Dessert. Edward leaned over to smooth down and push my wild, sweaty hair off of my face as kissed me until I felt drunk.

"I love you, Iris Elizabeth Cullen," he whispered, his voice full of wonder and adoration.

"I love you more, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I sighed in contented exhaustion.

"Isn't possible..." he murmured with a lazy grin, but then his face turned serious. "But you didn't distract me, you know."

"Distract you?" What did he mean?

"It's time for the blood." Oh holy flying balls of fuck.

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	67. MotherlyLove

Ch. 67 Motherly Love

"With Giligaaaaaaaan, the skipper toooooo, the milionaaaaaaaire, and his wife! The movie star! The professor and Maryann, here on Giligan's Iiiiiiiiiiiiiisle!" Emmett and I were singing as loudly and obnoxiously as possible much to Edward's dismay, but we were having fun. Sorry, honeybun, I warned you long ago about all my singing. Edward rolled his eyes playfully at me. I was lying across the sofa and had my feet propped up on his lap at the other end.

It took so little to entertain my under-stimulated mind these days as my baby bump continued to grow larger and larger and my mobility shrank to just a few lousy hours off my butt. I was now measuring to be about the size of a small honeydew melon.

"Come away to sea with us, my love! Let's get lost on a island!"

"I think we've already done that..." Edward smirked.

"Eeeeee!" I shrieked when Emmett scooped me into his arms a little too roughly.

"Rose and I will go on a three hour tour with you, Preggers!" Oh Edward's going to get you, Em...

Sure enough Edward rushed after Emmett grabbing for me frantically as Emmett spun me around in his arms while singing the theme song once more. We had been watching a marathon of "Giligan's Island" for at least the last three hours, and we were obviously drunk with boredom.

I was finally getting past the morning sickness phase of my pregnancy it seemed and was just now entering into my third week, so over half way there. I had more energy, less vomiting, and I kind of loved my sweet little bump—and my bigger rump. I looked hot, curvey, and I was rocking this! I often caught Edward staring down at my ever-expanding bump in wonder, or maybe he was just checking out his insanely hot wife. He must like what he saw too because we were having no problems in the love-making department. Life was pretty sweet.

"Emmett! Did you forget that she is pregnant with our child? Put her down this instance!" Edward growled, but some of the menace in his threat was lost when he realized that he could only tug gently on his hulk of a brother without jostling me further. Man, he already sounded like a dad. Well, what I assumed a real dad would sound like. We already established that mine kind of sucked.

"Aww lighten up, Edd-o. Exercise is good for pregnant ladies." Emmett and I were getting sillier and sillier with each passing episode of the show, and we were guffawing uncontrollably together at this point. I had obviously spent too much time inside lounging around.

Jasper and Alice had just left to hunt, and Rosalie—not surprisingly—flicked her hair over her shoulder when the singing started and left us for her car shop behind the manor to work on tuning her new corvette.

Esme was sitting quietly in the pinstriped, overstuffed wing chair to my left knitting some yellow yarn baby booties while Carlisle looked over his newspaper at us in amusement.

"Light exercises! LIGHT, Emmett! And stop with the nicknames!" Edward stopped fighting to rake his hands through his hair in frustration. "You said you would be careful, Iris!"

Ok. You're right. But I'll never say this out loud, so you better savor this mental apology...I tapped on Emmett's shoulder so he would let me down and Edward immediately moved by my side to support me—needlessly—so that I smoothly transitioned from Emmett's grasp to Edward's.

"Edward, I finally have a little bit more energy, and the baby isn't large enough to hurt me yet. Can't I just enjoy these next few days? Please?" I blinked my lashes and pouted, and Edward sighed. He knew I was manipulating him, but what was he going to do about it? He glared at me playfully at that thought, and I laughed.

"Would you like to go for a walk then since you're feeling better? Get some fresh air?" Edward asked in a low voice as he pulled me to him, running his nose up and down my neck as he inhaled. Mmm...

"Please..." I murmured, and he chuckled at my response to his touch.

"Wait here." He made sure I was safely sitting on the couch again before dashing away toward the kitchen.

Shit. Here it comes. It. Don't think the word, Iris. This nagging feeling will only grow until it's so out of control, so overwhelming that you'll never be able to control it. You have to be in control. You have to. Don't let this happen, Iris. Be strong. Shit. Fucking shit.

Edward returned, walking into the room looking completely unfazed. I knew he could hear me losing my shit. He knew that I knew, but he would never acknowledge it. This is the game we had been playing for the last two weeks every time it was that time of the day...feeding time.

Edward smiled slightly, his eyes crinkled just a little too tightly at the edges. He was nervous too. He was an excellent actor, but I knew him better than anyone. He was worried.

"It will be fine, Iris. You've been doing so well." Liar. He's lying trying to put me at ease. Good husband, but it won't work.

Every muscle in my body tensed as Edward set the cup down on the coffee table in front of me, allowing me to make the decision on my own time. But there was no decision to be made. I had to do it for our baby. We had tried blood of the animal variety first, but my body rejected it. I vomited relentlessly until there was nothing left. Even with Edward's hypersonic speed it took him twenty minutes to get all the blood off of everything. Nope. Our child was a blood snob. In the words of Alice, only the best for our baby...

I hesitantly reached for the offensive vessel. I held the cup away from myself with a grimace as I took a few timid breaths in anticipation. As the scent of it hit my nares, my head grew dizzy with need. I had to have it. I would die if I didn't have it. Now.

Edward reached to take the cup back, and when I nearly slapped him, my conscious mind so rejected the act of harming him that I snapped back to the present. He sighed and slowly pried the cup from my iron grip, peeling back each finger until I released it. "Iris. You're fine. Just pace yourself. One sip at a time. Do you want me to hold the cup for you?" Edward spoke slowly, enunciating each word as I fought to pay attention to him through my thirst.

"No...no...I've got it..." I said absentmindedly as the call of the blood drew me in hypnotically again. It smells so good, so rich. I bet it will feel like silk and butter sliding down my aching throat. It will give me the fix I so desperately nee—Hey! Snap out of it, Iris! Control. Control. Control. You've got this...

Edward nodded at me in approval as he listened to the war raging inside of me with a reassuring smile. He offered the cup to me, and repeated, "control, love." I nodded back at him, drew in a steady sip fighting my urges desperately and he took my free hand, kissed it, and walked with me out the door.

It had been like this every time I had the blood for the last week. The first time they offered it to me, Jasper said I was behaving almost as badly as a newborn vampire. My body was so desperate for it that I grew ravenous and feral, almost violent with need. It scared the shit out of me. If I was this bad now, still human, how the hell was I going to get through the newborn stage...? Would I ever be able to reach Cullen level of control?! Nothing about this life came easily for me. Damnit all.

No one was sure what exactly made me, specifically, so sensitive to the blood, but I still thought it was my genetic predisposition for addiction and addictive behaviors. THANKS MOM AND DAD! It wasn't enough that they ruined my life, they had to leave me with a parting gift. Fuck my life.

I had purposely avoided alcohol or drugs my whole life for this reason, and tried to use the personality trait in my favor by throwing myself into other more positive addictive things, i.e. work and school...fat load of good it did though because now I had to consume this particular vice to survive, literally a case of life or death if I didn't, and I felt like I was totally out of control.

Fuck it. I slurped the rest of the cup down quickly, giving in to all the desire, instantly consumed by my thirst for more.

"Where is it? I need more. I'm so thirsty. I'm dying. Edward, please? Pleeeease?"

I scanned the room. There had to be more! Where was the blood? Damnit! WHERE'S THE BLOOD?!

"Love. Love?" Someone held my face and spoke to me firmly, but I didn't pay them any mind. I needed it. I had to get more. He was keeping it from me. Fuck him! "You're stronger than this craving. Everything is fine. Look at me. You are NOT a monster!"

My head was swimming. I need more, the desire is eating up every free space in my brain. Can't you feel it? I need the blood! "BLOOD, FIND THE BLOOD!" The voice in my mind was saying...

I had to have more! Where could I find it? Where did they keep it? They were hiding it from me, keeping it for themselves. They couldn't have it. THE BLOOD IS MINE!

God, I need it. I want it. GIVE ME MORE! MORE BLOOD, MORE STRENGTH, MORE LIFE!

"IRIS!" A steady flow of calm came over me and I found myself outside, staring into Edward's terrified eyes. I blinked and looked around me, feeling as if I had just come out of thick fog. How did we get out here? What happened?

Esme and Alice were forming a wide perimeter around me. They were crouched low to the ground with weary expression, eyes trained directly on me. Edward held me from behind in his arms as he murmured calming words of affirmation in my ear, rocking us gently.

"The heartbeat is a little fast, but I think it's alright." Rosalie stood in front of me, cradling my belly, her eyes wide with fear. "Carlisle? What do you think?"

"The baby is fine. Iris? Can you hear me?" His golden irises were almost hidden as he narrowed his eyes as he tried to read my expression. What had happened? How did I get here? What the fucking hell?!

"She's scared. Iris?" Jasper stood back just a foot or so from us with an indiscernible frown but took a hesitant step forward when he addressed me.

Emmett looked back and forth between me and Rosalie like he needed to protect her from me.

"Why is everyone looking at me like that?" My heart was beating rapidly, forcing all the adrenaline from fear through me. A sheen of sweat covered me from head to toe. What the fuck just happened?!

Edward sighed and relief flooded him as his body instantly relaxed and he turned me around to hold me to his chest. "You went in to a type of crazed trance. It was almost worse than a newborn. You were thrashing wildly, scratching at anyone who came close to you, throwing things. You wouldn't listen to reason. Your mind was... animalistic, uncivilized. I thought you might accidentally harm yourself or the baby so I brought you out here away from anything sharp...You just kept screaming 'blood' over and over..." His low, worried voice trailed off into some far off place of horror by the sound of it. He held me closer against his shoulder, smoothing my hair. This was bad. This was worse than the first time I drank it. This was Volturi level crazy Iris. Shit. How was I going to

Handle this? I wasn't. I wasn't going to handle this. Shit. Fuck. Fucking shit.

I pushed his hand away and moved to stand, angry with myself...with my weakness.

"Iris..? No, come back. Everything will be—" Edward still held onto my hand as I tried to get away, struggling because my expanding abdomen made things a hundred times worse.

"Fine?" I snapped. "How? How the hell is this going to be fine?" I'm not fine, and this is incredibly embarrassing. I'm a fucking human. How can I already be acting like some blood-crazed newborn?! Blood...NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP! God!

I ripped my hand away from Edward, nearly falling over. Fucking gravity.

Edward rushed to catch me, but I caught myself first. Something in my face or thoughts stopped him from comforting me the way he usually would. I looked away from him, ashamed. I was ashamed for my weakness, ashamed for hurting Edward now, ashamed for putting our baby at risk...Damnit!

"There's nothing to be ashamed of—"

"No, Edward. You don't get to use my thoughts like that. You brought me outside AWAY FROM SHARP OBJECTS. I was going to harm our child?! God. I can't..." I don't know what I was going to say. My mind was still reeling from the fact that I had lost so much control.

I turned to walk—waddle—away. I don't know where I'm going, but it doesn't matter. I have to move, have to shake this...feeling.

"Hey, no running." Edward looked at me meaningfully, and his expression was so broken, so heartfelt that my lower lip jutted out on its own accord and tears welled up in my eyes.

"I'm fine." My voice cracked, betraying my poorly suppressed emotions. I broke eye contact and turned back around to walk away aimlessly. I won't go far...just...please...

I pushed past Esme and Rosalie, unable to meet their eyes. I knew I wouldn't actually be left alone. Someone—probably Edward or Rosalie—would trail behind me for my safety and the baby's, but the least that they could do would be to leave me alone and let me pretend that I wasn't being followed.

An hour later, I was sitting in the grass at the edge of the woods about two hundred feet from the back of the house, looking at nothing in particular, picking at the blades, and feeling sorry for myself. Everything was silent for once. I knew they were all watching—and listening to my thoughts...Hello dear—but they were respecting my need for privacy, chaperoned of course.

I felt a nudge in my abdomen just then and smiled as I looked down. "Hello." I spoke in a soft voice. Ok, I get it, I'm being ridiculous. This is all for you. And it's worth it. I just...I'm weak, baby. I'm sorry. I hope you take after your father. I pray that you never feel hurt or lonely or...broken. I don't want to fail you, and that's exactly what this feels like. I'm failing at being your mother already...

"We would do anything for our children." I heard Esme's sweet, feminine voice before I saw her come and sit daintily beside me. Ok...not the Cullen I expected to follow me out here first, but at least it's not Jasper here to knock some sense into me. That would probably just lead to more tears in my super pregnant state. Fucking hormones.

The ease and grace of her movement made me re-evaluate how I was sitting sprawled out with my legs spread and hunched over my belly, but when I tried to correct my posture, I only lost my balance, nearly rolling over. Esme put her hand out and carefully moved me into a more upright position. She smiled warmly at me when I caught her eye.

We sat in awkward silence for what felt like forever. Well, it was awkward for me. Esme seemed the picture of patience, smiling to herself as the wind blew her hair away from her face gently. I wondered briefly if I would ever be so carefree and confident. Maybe I looked like that when I was a vampire...I doubted it though.

After an eternity of silence, I broke. "I don't know what I'm doing." I admitted guiltily in a whisper. "I hate that I can't control this. If I can't even be around...blood—" Mmm delicious...STOP! I closed my eyes and swallowed back the saliva pouring into my mouth at just the thought of it. I took a deep breath, allowing the clean, crisp outdoor air to clear my senses. Ok better... "—as a human, how the hell am I going to be as a vampire? How am I going to be able to function...how will I ever be able to hold our child or even just be in the same room? I didn't expect that I would have perfect control, but this?" I shuddered, unable to elaborate on the level of shame I was truly feeling.

She looked away from me, her mind traveling to a far off place.

I knew it. She can't relate. She doesn't know how to talk to a monster like me. She—

Esme's voice cut my self-deprecating thoughts off. "I tasted my first drop of human blood in my third week of being a newborn." She looked back at me with a somber expression. "We think he was hiking with a group and must have gotten lost because he was way off of the trail that the humans would usually take...He died, of course. There's no stopping the frenzy once it begins, or not usually." She glanced back at the house and smiled slightly. "Carlisle is the exception to that. He's so perfect that it can be very intimidating. It's quite something to try to live up to, don't you think?" Then she smiled sweetly at me.

"Esme, you were a newborn vampire. Of course the human blood called to you. It's not the sa—"

She interrupted me again. "The worst part about it was when I ripped off Edward's arm." What? WHAT?! "...I've always seen him as my child, even from the very beginning. We played him off as my brother for a time out of convenience while we travelled amongst the humans, but he was always my baby. Maybe it was my maternal instincts carried over after the change or maybe it was always meant to be this way...but when I saw him crouched before me and hissing in pain...when I realized that I had done that to him? I wanted to end my life all over again. I would have gladly thrown myself from the highest cliff a hundred times over to be able to go back and change what I did, what the draw of the blood brought out in me."

"Edward doesn't blame you. He knows that it wasn't your fault." I stated. Poor Esme. She was too good for this world, an angel without her wings...

Esme placed a cool hand on top of mine on the ground. "It's not your fault either, dear. This is uncharted territory for us, this pregnancy. You would never consciously harm yourself or your child. We all know this. Even you know it deep down. It took years for me to forgive myself after hurting Edward the way that I did, but this drive, this need for blood is powerful. It can turn even the meekest at heart into a merciless killer. We will protect you and the baby above all else, Iris. Just focus on keeping yourself healthy and safe and allow us to do the rest."

"Thank you, Mo—Esme."I corrected awkwardly.

"You can call me Mom if you want. It's only been nearly forty years." She laughed. "I told you that you will always be my daughter. I'm so excited that you and Edward have chosen to give us the gift of a grandchild."

"Thank you, Mom." I said with a smile, and she stood, kissed my hair, and walked back to the house to leave me to my thoughts again.

God, I fucking love this family. What I wouldn't have given to have grown up here with them...though that would have made Edward my brother...Nope nevemind. I'll stick with how things are now. Ew. I grimaced with the thought of my brother husband. Ugh. Go away!

"You're twisted." Edward whispered in my ear and I jumped. Fuck!

"God!" What the hell?! I would never get used to how quiet these vampires could be.

"Not quite." He smirked, and I laughed in spite of everything because it was the same thing Carlisle had said when I woke up the same way in the hospital back in Forks so long ago.

"Like father, like son I suppose." Edward chuckled, but then his features softened. "You will be fine, Iris. This isn't supposed to be easy. It may take years, but don't worry. We have eternity."

Eternity with Edward? Hell yes.

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	68. OhBaby

This is not an accurate description of childbirth. I've had two, natural, non-complicated deliveries myself, and I can look back on them with joyous memories. Please recognize that this is a dramatized version from Iris's perspective. If you're squeamish, look away. You've been forewarned.

Also, there has been a point to all these seemingly plotless chapters...it will come around all in due time. Thanks for sticking around guys!

Happy Reading...?

Ch. 68 Oh Baby

"See you're already doing so well!" Edward was being overly enthusiastic—AKA Fake— about the progress I had made in my blood drinking. Hell, I was just thankful that I could get through it without threatening anyone's life. By the way, if you're trying to keep a vampire on your side about being changed, don't tell them that you'll tear them to pieces the moment you open your eyes after the change. That won't keep them on your side...not that I know that from experience or anything. Ok, fine...I may have tossed around the idea when Emmett held me back from the main stock of blood when I found it...He still won't look me in the eyes, and it's been three days. What? It's the hormones...sure, Iris. Sure it is.

I took the last sip of blood, silently savoring it, and set the cup down slowly, my hand trembling as I fought the urge to bring it back to my lips and lick it clean. Edward kissed me chastely and returned the glass to the kitchen.

I only zoned out for about six minutes that time according to Edward, which meant that he had to hold me as tightly to his chest as he could without breaking my limbs while I kicked my feet out wildly fighting to get away in hunt of more blood. Overall, it was a success I'd say. Oh God, I'm so screwed...

Honestly, I think everyone was just surprised—including myself—that I had enough strength to do my restrained pregnant kung fu. I was in the middle of my fourth week, our little bundle of joy would be here soon enough. If our calculations and my measurements were correct, the baby could be here safely in as little as one day. Alice couldn't see my future at all, just like when Bella was pregnant, the useless psychic. Sorry, Alice. Love you lots.

Shit. Am I ok with this? Yes, of course you're ok with it. But what if I suck at being a mother? You won't suck. You're going to be fine. No I'm going to suck at it. Fuck. At least there's no werewolf drama this go around...

"You'll be wonderful. Everything will be wonderful." Wonderful. Yeah ok...Edward kissed my temple as he returned from the kitchen. He had been acting weirder and weirder the closer to baby's arrival we came. If he wasn't fighting off invisible threats to keep our baby and me safe, he was floating around on cloud nine and using the word "wonderful" way too often. He was the most attractive whipped person I had ever seen...

I hissed in pain suddenly when the baby shifted. "Shit!" I winced when I poked my side. That was probably another broken rib...that made two this week...and a bruised kidney, so I had a urinary catheter...this has been a really great experience. Wish I could write a yelp review on vampire-human pregnancy...It's for the baby. It's for the baby. It's for the baby.

"Iris?!...Carlisle!" Edward pulled me into his lap smoothly as if his touch would somehow heal the bones. He leaned over so that his mouth was level with my belly button. "Baby, be careful with your mother. She's not as strong as you right now. Please, it's just a few more days." We had been referring to our blessed invader affectionately as 'Baby' since we had yet to decide on a name for either gender. He quirked a brow, listening, and smiled when he heard what he liked. "Baby understands. He or she is just getting a little cramped in there." He rubbed my protruding belly delicately in circles. You and me both, baby.

Fuck! Don't breathe, Iris. Just don't breathe and everything feels fine. Hurry up, baby...

"What is it? Another rib?" Edward's brow knitted with concern.

Carlisle was already at my side and probing the side of my rib cage gently. "The baby is too strong for you, Iris. We're going to have to deliver soon."

"Great." I smiled weakly. I say weakly because everything I did lately when blood wasn't concerned—hey I just thought about blood without trying to bite anyone!—was done weakly.

Shit. Soon. As in tomorrow. Double shit. I'm not ready. Yes, you are. No, I'm not. Shut up. God, I've been cooped up too much lately. I'm talking to myself again. Wonderful.

•PTaT•

Well, it's tomorrow, and I guess our sweet baby got the message too.

This is it! The baby is coming. Our baby is coming! Oh shit. Our baby is coming...

"Ahhhhh!" My stomach clenched stronger than any of my previous contractions, and I curled into myself on the floor crumpled in pain. This was it. My time was up. I had been ignoring the pinching in my abdomen all day. Edward knew what was happening and told Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens to be prepared, of course, but I was stupid. I wanted to pretend that this was a normal delivery with no expectation of danger. So all day I felt the stirrings of contractions, first beginning low in my belly with just a bit of pressure, and had now progressed several hours later to what I could only imagine was some type torture used in hell.

I told everyone to act normally earlier in the day, and they were playing along so long as I was progressing normally. I even kicked everyone out of our room except Edward, but now I could hear the chatter in the hall. They were all out there...

"Iris?!" Edward entered the room looking first to the bed where he had left me mere seconds ago to get water, but found me instead on the floor. "Iris!" He swept me into his arms, and took me straight to Carlisle's office which was made up very similarly to an operating room currently.

When we got to the room, Carlisle, and Rosalie were already there, waiting. The rest of the Cullens left because of the possible blood. Rosalie begged to be present as long as she could, but she knew that she would have to leave soon too.

"Oh my God!" I screamed through another contraction. Bella's spine was snapped before she ever got to this point so she didn't get to feel any of this part, lucky Bitch.

I had gotten used to being in pain these last couple of weeks, but this pain, the pain of a solid stone uterus, made impenetrable by my amniotic venom, cramping down, forcing my hybrid baby into my very human pelvis? This pain was off-the-hook crazy. I would take being shot twenty time and dragged through the forest by James over this. I would allow Jane to trap me in an eternal prison of her pain if it meant that I didn't have to feel this now.

"Holy Fucking Shit!" I usually tried to keep most of my cussing to a bare minimum—out loud—but this was unbearable. Shit shit shit. Fucking fucking bullshit! Something was wrong.

"Let me try some morphine..." Carlisle murmured...Anything! Give me anything! Shining shitballs of pain I want it all!

"Breathe, Iris. Breathe, sweetheart." Edward smoothed back my hair, but his hand on my skin—which would usually be so comforting—felt like he was rubbing it raw. Oh my God! He yanked his hand away from me then.

"Break my spine! Please just make it...argh...stop!" I was bawling, begging, kicking my feet, thrashing on the table. Oh my God! This is why humans weren't meant to procreate with vampires. Oh my God. Oh. My. God.

"Iris?" It was Rosalie this time. "I know it hurts, but think of your baby! You'll get to see him or her soon. Who knows? You might survive this long enough to spend some time with the little sweetie." She was smiling at me and using her sing-song voice of optimism. This was soft Rosalie. She was imagining the baby, so perfect and lush in her arms. It was the face and voice she used when she talked about her grandchildren. Well...Fuck off. You got to birth a human baby. You don't know this pain. Ugh, that was harsh. Ok—Noooo! Fuck!

"Rosalie, You need to leave now. We're going to have to cut her and deliver via cesarean because she's not progressing properly. Iris? You're only three centimeters, but the baby's head is descending anyway. I'm sorry, darling, but we have to deliver. It's crushing your pelvis." I heard Carlisle address me as he came out from under the sheet which had been tossed over my knees. But it was hard to pay attention. I didn't even realize that my legs were up in stirrups until just now. What did he say? Cut? Cut what?!

"Ahhhhhhhhhh!" Who gives a damn?! Cut whatever you want...Please!

I was screeching, but I didn't give a flying rat's ass. It hurt. Oh God, did it hurt. Fuck fuck fuck! My eyes rolled back in my head. I fought to maintain consciousness, but things were getting hazy.

"Iris, I'm going to numb you, ok?" Carlisle was still speaking in a calm, controlled voice.

"Ehhhhhh!" It was the best I could do for an answer. Oh my God!

Edward was still right there, humming to me and kissing my forehead. He was trying anything to help me, but there was nothing to do. "It's alright, sweetheart. We're going to see our baby in just a few minutes. You've done so well, focus on me. Look, love, right here. It's just you and me." I was breathing through my lips pursed out in an "o" as I panted out a breath. Shit Fucking shit. Edward cupped my face in his hands as he stood by my head, garnering all my attention for a second. I tried to smile up at him, but I'm sure it looked more like a grimace. Our baby, focus on our baby, Iris. "Our baby." Edward nodded kissing my forehead softly. Shiiiiiiiiiiit! This pain was unbearable. What was the change going to feel like? Holy hell. The change. I might be changed soon. "Focus, Iris. You and me, love." Edward captured my gaze once more.

Carlisle was hanging a blue curtain between my upper and lower half. This was getting real.

Fuck! Another contraction began, and I cried out again. "Ohhhhhh!"

"Carlisle? Why isn't the medicine working?" Edward sounded a little panicked when he looked back to Carlisle. Not working?! No! I can't take anymore...please...

"I'm not sure. I've administered as much medication as I can safely for her and the baby. Anymore and it could harm one or both of them. Iris? I'm so sorry. I'll have to do this without any anesthetics." Oh shit...

"What?!" Edward growled and nearly threw himself over the table to stop Carlisle from touching me.

"I'll be fast, son. I'm ready to change her if anything at all happens." Carlisle sounded sure.

"Like hell you will!" I'd never heard Edward fight his father this way. This was a vampire fighting for the welfare of his mate.

Oh God. Oh God. I felt like I was hyperventilating. I cried out again through the pain, but it was just broken breathing. This was excruciating...sharp stabs all throughout my back, my abdomen, my pelvis. I felt like I was being squeezed and turned inside out. My lower half felt like it had been tossed in a fire and left to burn, like the baby was ripping his or her own way out of me. "Oh God!" It was too much, so much pain...I'm weak. I can't do this. I thought I was strong, but I was wrong. I'm not strong. I'm fucking weak. I'm like a—"ahhhhhh!"

"You can do this, Iris." He was trying to reassure me, but Edward looked helplessly to me, torn between protecting me and helping me. Anything! Anything to stop the pain! It's fine. Whatever! Please. Oh God!

"Do it." Edward took my hand and nodded in to his father in defeat. Carlisle moved to the side of the table he leaned over to where I could no longer see him. I felt him place his hands on me, preparing to bite through my skin, but it was too late.

With one final contraction, I couldn't even scream anymore. The pain silenced me, or maybe it deafened me. I was blinded in agony as I felt the baby rip through me without any assistance from Carlisle, a geizer of blood spewed out from behind the curtain, and it was done.

I threw my head back, mouth wide open to scream, but no sound escaped. My lungs were crying for oxygen, but I couldn't inhale. I laid there, back arched away from the table, arms thrown out to the side in shock.

My vision faded in and out, the silence turned to a slight ringing as if an explosion had occurred too closely to my ears.

All of a sudden, I felt like I was floating, living through an out-of-body experience. No one seemed to notice me leave, though. I watched from a few feet away as Edward grasped my blank face in his hands, his mouth moving to form my name over and over. He shook me, looked to Carlisle in horror, saying something, and back to me.

Esme appeared suddenly in the room with a small blanket to sweep our baby away. I could see that she—yes, it was a she—was crying, and I wanted desperately to take her into my arms, cradle her to me and tell her that it would be ok. I know it's cold, and bright, and loud. I know it's different from all you have known. I know it's a scary place out here, but in my arms you are warm. You are safe. You are loved.

But I couldn't do any of that. Instead, I continued to impassively float off on the sideline of the scene as I watched Edward and Carlisle work furiously to keep my body alive.

Carlisle was quickly sealing my wounds, working as fast and efficiently as possible to control my bleeding.

Edward grabbed the syringe filled with his venom just as I had told him to do weeks ago, stabbing me right at the apex of my heart. He then rushed around the table at lightening speed, biting through my skin, actively injecting my body with his fresh venom at each pulse point—my ankles, knees, groin, wrists, elbows, and either side of my neck...There was no movement or response from my body. I quirked a brow as I stared in fascination.

The scene was kind of beautiful in the most unexpected way...how they moved so oppositely but in synchrony. It was as if this had been rehearsed a hundred times before.

I saw Edward shake me roughly this time. He was panicking. I couldn't hear him, but his mouth almost looked like he was crying, "Come back! Come back!" Over and over again...it's alright my love. I'm here. I'm ok...I moved to place a hand on his face from where I hovered, and his head turned sharply toward me, his face a mixture of shock and awe.

...I was shocked too, because as my gauzy hand made contact with his skin, there was a flash of light, and I felt the familiar pull as I was drifting. This time I wasn't drifting away, though.

I opened my eyes, and I was still staring down at my body, but it was from a new perspective. My senses were heightened. I looked to my hand which was holding...my hand...and it was paper white, smooth, and masculine. I was inside of Edward.

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	69. LikeHerMother

Ch. 69 Like Her Mother

_Love? Thank God. _I could hear an internal sigh from Edward.

Ohmygod! Edward?!

_Yes, love. It's alright. I'm here._

How? How can I hear you? I couldn't ever hear anyone else when I drifted to them before...

_How can I hear any of you?_ I heard his warm chuckle. _Things must be different when you're in me because of your and my combined abilities. _

I looked back to my lifeless body lying on the table. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to highjack your body...

_No, it's better this way. Look, you're so peaceful, but I can hear your heart beating. You're changing even as we watch..._

Are you sure...?

_Of course I'm sure. This is a miracle! You can miss all the pain of the change, and you can see our baby...our daughter._ His voice wrapped around the word, swaddling it softly and exposing all his devotion and adoration for the new life we had created.

"Our daughter." I said out loud, and I felt the instant draw to her in the other room. Edward's body was as in tune to her needs as my own.

_Go to her, love..._

I gave my body, lying quietly as if asleep, one last fleeting glance. Though, Carlisle didn't know what was internally happening, he nodded to me—as Edward—and I heard in his thoughts that he would watch over me. My body would be fine here. Our daughter was waiting...

I slowly, for a vampire—Holy shit this is strange to not be human again—approached the doorway. "Esme?"

"Edward? How's Iris? She's so still..." _Why is he not with her? Is she alright? Oh, look at his face. He's in love already..._

It was strange to hear other's thoughts and Edward's. I had a new respect for my husband. I bet he kept so many secrets all the time...

She was clearly worried about both of us and didn't know that we were both in front of her totally fine which I could easily correct by telling here, but I couldn't pay attention to anything she said because my—Edward's—eyes were locked on to the most beautiful shade of bright, emerald green I had ever seen.

"Stunning..." My baby. Oh my God. She's amazing. So ethereal, so angelic, so pure, so absolute. Nothing seemed adequate to describe the total perfection which Esme held so near to her chest. She was everything.

_Our everything._ Edward agreed in a reverent tone. The wonder in his mind echoed my own, our thoughts so intertwined that I wasn't sure where his stopped and mine began.

I reached for her just as I could feel Edward mentally reaching for her, and we sighed together when Esme gently released the small, warm bundle of blankets to us.

The tiny baby stared up at me blinking at the brightness. Her thoughts were curious. No words, but a sense of calm, only slightly stressed from the lights. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. Is that light too much? Come here, sweetie." I cuddled her gently to me, and walked into the darkened hall. Her thoughts shifted back to a drowsy state of peace. I rocked her to and fro in my arms until her eyes closed. I mourned the experience of staring into their jade depth, but I was content to study her tranquil expression, and listen to the flutter of her hummingbird heartbeat.

Her appearance was an impeccable blend of Edward and me. She had Edward's straight nose, his full lips, and his piercing eye color. Her thick, blonde hair stuck out about an inch from her head wildly in perfect disarray, so she got his hair with my color...

_Alice will love that..._I heard Edward's internal chuckle.

The rest of her face was all me. Her eyes were ovals, close-set, but wide somehow at the same time. Her face was round and soft without the sharpness of age yet, but I could see my high cheekbones beneath the chubby skin. She was fair skinned, but there were both pink and olive undertones present. Her scent was a mixture of honeysuckle and lemons. Sweet and citrusy, another example of a perfect combination of Edward and me. There was no bloodlust for her, at least not from Edward's body. I prayed that I would feel the same when I saw her in my own body. Every piece of her was harmonious, balanced.

Wait, we need a name!

_Hmm I've been thinking, but nothing seems good enough. _Edward thought.

How about Renesmee? Hah. Just kidding. I could practically feel Edward's sigh. Sometimes he just didn't properly appreciate my humor. Then it came to me.

"Thea." I said aloud as the name flowed through me. I liked the softness in the syllables and the otherworldliness. It was both of this world and unique.

_Perfect. _Edward murmured.

"What?" Rosalie appeared next to Esme, and she smiled.

"Her name is Thea. Thea was the goddess of light and mother of the moon in Greek mythology. It's perfect. Thea Elizabeth Cullen." Maybe it was a bit narcissistic of me, but I wanted my daughter to have a piece of me in her name. Edward wordlessly supported my choice. I could feel his warmth for our daughter still flowing throughout me.

"Thea." Esme tested, and her lips turned up. "Beautiful, absolutely right. How did you and Iris decide, Edward?"

"What?" I was still wrapped up in Thea's mind. So wonderful. Oh, that's why Edward kept saying that...

_Exactly..._Edward was living vicariously through me.

_God, for how melodramatic Edward is about her, he sure isn't concerned about his wife. Way to go, brother..._Rosalie's signature bluntness was present even in her mind.

Oh right. No one knows it's me..."Actually, I am Iris. That's why my body seems so cool under pressure back there...And as strange as this is, I can read Edward's mind, and he's totally fine with sharing the space while I change in there." I spoke without looking away from our sleeping beauty. Even in just the ten minutes I had been holding her, I could see her features changing minutely. She was growing, maturing, and I didn't want to miss a single second of it.

"Oh." _How strange. _Esme's thoughts shifted to imagining sharing a body with Carlisle. She was undecided on whether that would be pleasant or frustrating.

Rosalie's mind went right back to the baby. _I really want to hold her. Would that be rude to just take her? _She sighed internally and then looked at me with a guilty expression when she remembered that I could hear her.

"Iris!" Alice danced to my side, and looked at Thea. "She's perfect, of course. But since you're in Edward, I was thinking—"

"Horrible idea." I laughed as I got a vision of Alice giving Edward a total makeover.

"Killjoy." She deadpanned, but giggled. "I guess I'll just focus my talents elsewhere. Do you mind?" She gestured toward my body, and I shrugged.

"Go for it. I'll just be here soaking up everything I can about the most precious part of my life." I was dizzy with how happy I felt holding this little being. Sorry, my love, you're running a close race now.

_It's fine. It's no competition, really. Look at her..._Esme was right. He was so in love, and who could blame him?

She was the personification of love. She was beauty, light, joy...All things good in this world. She was everything.

_Our everything._

I walked to Thea's room, careful not to jostle or wake her, and sat in the rocker in the corner of the room. We had done the room in a warm but light shade of linen with touches of cream. The carpet was lush and off-white, the crib was blonde raw wood with a glossy finish, and the bedding was ivory. Alice must have been in here during Thea's delivery because now there were touches of blush and lilac scattered about in the pictures, blankets, and a bedside lamp. She was always prepared...

Edward and I sat quietly watching our daughter rest. I couldn't get enough of her. I would never be finished staring at this wondrous creature. I could easily be lost for hours in analyzing the way the blood swirled under her skin just so, or how her chubby, hot fingers curled perfectly around my large, cool finger. The little sounds she made as she dreamed of colors swirling around her mind...

Edward was listening to my thoughts, and I his. We each felt...whole, complete.

Then she began to stir.

"Hello, Thea." I couldn't help but smile at the sweet expression she made as she blinked her eyes back open to us. Her cheeks were creased and rosy from sleep, and her green eyes were more striking than even Edward's perfect memory could recall. Her thoughts were content, but there was a hint of confusion or question to them.

"What is it?" She imagined the womb, and there was an overwhelming sense of being home to the image. Then she pictured Carlisle's office, and Esme's face. She was happy, but there was still a remaining question...a longing. "I don't understand, sweetie...I'm sorry."

Then she disappeared. Just like that, my hands were empty. Holy shit! Where's my baby?! "Thea?" Edward's thoughts turned to chaos which didn't help me at all because I was losing my shit already.

Alice, Esme, and Rose heard me screaming too, and their minds each turned on high alert.

"What happened?" Rose was rushing around the room, destroying all the organization.

Esme had pure fear in her face. "Where's the baby?"

"I still can't see her!" Alice was trying her hardest to force a vision, but she was literally coming up blank.

"I don't know!" I cried. Panic. All I could feel was panic. I knew I was going to screw this up. Oh God. I've been a mother for a whole hour, and I was already screwing things up! Shit!

_Love, listen...I hear her._ I froze at Edward's thought, and then I heard it, her heartbeat.

"She's here." Carlisle called from his office. "I have her, and she's safe."

Edward and I both sighed in relief. If I still had a heart in this body, it would have been beating out of my chest. But how the hell was she in there?!

_She must take after her mother..._Edward mused, but the thought was tinged with worry.

I rushed back to Carlisle's office—followed closely by Rose, Alice, and Esme—and stopped abruptly when I saw her.

Thea was sleeping soundly once more in my arms—MY arms. She missed her mother. She didn't understand that this was me because she only saw Edward when she looked into my eyes.

_Of course_. Edward understood immediately. _The longing. She wanted you and was trying to tell us. _

Oh, Thea...I went to crouch near her—near me—lying with my body, and I ran my hand over her head lovingly as I whispered to her. "Sweetie...you scared us. Did you miss mama? I'm sorry. I know this is confusing. You will have your mama back soon." I hope...I silently amended.

_She will. _Edward affirmed.

"How..?" Esme began.

"It's like Iris!" Alice proclaimed. "She drifted!" Esme and Rosalie each gasped.

"My baby is an hour old, and she's drifting..." Holy shit...We're in so much trouble.

_So much..._Edward agreed.

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	70. WakeyWakey

Sorry to those who weren't happy that they didn't have a boy. I think that having a girl will be redemptive and healing for Iris, and don't worry, Thea is not Renesmee which you will come to see soon...

Happy Reading!

Ch. 70 Wakey Wakey

"Guys!" Emmett and Jasper appeared in the doorway. "Congrats, Eddie. Cute kid. Damn Iris is being quiet..." Eloquent as always, Em. Jasper and Emmett came back from their hunt as soon as Carlisle gave the all clear. Jasper still had confidence issues in his vegetarianism, and hadn't trusted being anywhere near me with the delivery.

"That's not her. She's in Edward." Jasper's thoughts were interesting, very methodological and practical, militant. He was using his ability to gauge both my emotions and the ones I was channeling from Edward.

"Is this like some weird se—" Emmett began and I saw where he was going before he said it...the gutter.

"Emmett. There's a child present now!" I snapped. Whoa, mama bear. What was that? Easy...

_I always knew you would finish maturing one day..._Edward's thoughts were teasing.

Thanks, honey. "We didn't plan for me to drift, but it certainly worked in my favor since now I don't have to suffer through that change. Jealous?" I smirked at Emmett and Jasper who were both gawking at me.

"Hell yeah, I'm jealous! Changing sucked." Emmett's face displayed a rare expression of true horror, a testament to how awful changing must be. So far I had hit the Twilight lottery and missed the change twice. Maybe someone somewhere felt bad that I had to go through so much shit since I got here that I didn't need to add burning from the inside out for three days to that list...

•PTaT•

The time had come. I stood over my body, and listened as my heart sped. These were the last beats that heart would ever take. How many times had I heard a human heart stop beating? Hundreds at the hospital back in my world, thousands here in this world at my own hand...but this time, it was my own. This shift from beating to not beating heart...it signaled the end of an era, the true end of my time as a human, the end of being lonely. This was also the beginning, the beginning of life with Edward and the Cullens, the beginning of motherhood, the beginning of eternity.

Was I ready for all that this would bring? Could I handle being a ruthless newborn? What if I had to leave Thea? Could I do it?

_Love, you don't have to drift back yet. I'm fine, really._

Yes, I do. I have to know how bad this is. I can't hide out forever. Thea needs to know her mother. She hasn't wanted to leave my body since delivery...

_Alright, but you come right back to me if you need to. Do you understand?_ There was a growl even in his internal voice.

So bossy...save it for the bedroom, darling...

_Iris..._

Ok, ok!

My heart took one final thud, and I released the breath I had been holding. All was quiet.

We shouldn't be here for this. "Rose, take Thea please...Baby, you have to stay with Auntie Rose now, ok? I will come back with mommy soon, but I need for you to be a good girl and stay here. Be patient, sweetie."

Thea blinked back at me and frowned. She had gotten so big these last three days. She was measuring to be about the size of a two month old. Her growth was slowing, but not much. If I hadn't read the Twilight series to know that this was normal, I would be majorly freaked out.

_Yes, Daddy_. Thea thought to me.

Oh, did I forget to mention that she also speaks in short phrases in her mind? Yeah. It's odd. She hasn't spoken out loud, but it's only a matter of time now. I hadn't told her that I was both mommy and daddy either... I couldn't give her a complex from this early on...

"Thank you, Thea. I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Come on, Sweet Girl. It's time to eat...yeah, I know you're happy about that." Rose was almost as in love with her as Edward and I. I'm so happy she got to have her own baby even if things weren't completely normal for her and Emmett in the end. Seeing the joy that having my baby in her arms gave her, I couldn't imagine how much pain she was in before I intervened and changed her future.

Alright...here goes nothing. "Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle...can you guys come with us? I think we should be outside for my awakening..." Deep breaths...you can do this. Don't freak out. You've been a vampire before, and you can do this again...

We ran my body a couple hundred miles away from the manor. I wanted to go farther, but Edward thought this was overkill. I wasn't going to risk Thea at all. I suddenly had a new appreciation for how protective Edward was over me as a human all the time.

_See, and you thought I was insane..._Edward laughed.

No, just a little too thorough...

_Right._

I love you. Don't forget that if I try to take a snap at you...

_You will be fine. _He tried to sound confident and supportive, but I heard the edge to his tone. I would be stronger than any one of them now...shit.

I laid my body down on the ground and stared at it.

"Be ready Emmett. Jasper, send out the most mellow waves you can...we're talking Bob Marley on 4-20 mellow, got it? Carlisle, you're like my father, so don't take it too personally if I try to kill you, ok?"

"Oh, Iris. It will be fine. This is not the first time I've been with a newborn, you know." Carlisle was chuckling. Ok, dude. Your funeral...kidding...kidding...I hope.

_Love, stop stalling..._

"Just get this over with. I'm ready to spar with you, newbie!" Emmett was smiling. I smiled back because Edward was growling at that.

"Ok, Iris. I'm ready. Just tell us when." Jasper was back in soldier mode, his face serious.

I love you, Edward. "Ok, now!" Everyone tensed, but I had a last thought. "Wait, Emmett, go get a deer or something. Just have it near...maybe if I'm not as hungry..."

"Oh, I'll find something better than that." _Sucks there aren't any bears in Scotland..._

"I don't need a bear, Emmett. Anything worth feeding from will be fine, please."

"Ugh, fine. Be right back!"

He reappeared less than three minutes later with a stag. Ok good. "Everyone ready?" I asked again.

"Yes. Puh-lease lets just do this!" Emmett was getting antsy.

_You've got this, Iris. _

Oh Edward, I hope your right.

_Of course I am. _

Ugh how are you smug even in your thoughts?!

"Ok. Here I go..." I closed my eyes and searched for the light. It had been a while since I had used my ability this way, so it took me a few seconds to get a handle on it. Once I felt it, it was as easy as putting one foot in front of the other.

I let the light wash over me, a familiar, yet still strange sensation.

"Hello again, Iris." The female greeted me.

"Sup, guys? See you later."

"Goodbye." The male said.

Darkness took over me again. Here it goes...

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	71. HighwayToHell

Ch. 71 Highway To Hell

(IPOV)

Blood. I need blood. My throat. I need blood! I took a deep breath in, relying on my instincts fully to find the thing I knew would sate my thirst. Blood.

I shuddered in anticipation when I scented what I was looking for. The creature was small, but it would have to do. I pounced as soon as I saw it. It flailed and a noise of pain escaped its lips, but then it didn't fight so much. Yes, this was exactly what I needed. Blood. There was nothing else but the blood.

•PTaT•

(BPOV)

"Hello? Jake? Yeah...no, I'm fine, but my truck is acting funny...There was a loud noise and then some smoke...yeah, by the old pumping station off the one oh one...ok. No, I'll wait...Gee, thanks. Haha...Yeah. Love you too. Bye."

I hated to bother Jake at the shop. He was so busy lately since it was hiking season. Every year the tourists would come to hike in the park, and they wouldn't be familiar with the slick areas of the road. Combine that with all the rain we had this month, and it was a recipe for a disaster. But this year, more wrecks meant more business for Jake. I was so proud of him when he decided to open his own car garage after he graduated high school early a couple of months back. He was only 17 and a business owner already! He had stayed pretty busy since he opened too.

"Bells!" Jake called to me from his Rabbit as he pulled to the side of the road. His head hung out from the open window and his long, glossy black hair blew in the false breeze created as his car moved. He wore a goofy grin because it had been months since we had last seen one another. Summer and the end of my first year of college hadn't come fast enough. I was just on my way to see him when the truck began acting up. If anyone could save my baby, Jacob Black could.

"Jake!" I beamed at him. He was so handsome and warm, my own personal sun. Nothing could bring down your mood when he was around, not even a broken down truck.

"So did you finally kill it this time?" Jake was laughing.

"Hah. You would love that, wouldn't you?" I teased. Jacob wanted to get another, safer car for me, but I couldn't let him do that for me. I had saved enough money for school, but now I was kind of strapped for cash and didn't have enough to put down on a car. "I think she still has some life left in her—" I was cut off when Jake finally reached me and took me into his arms, spinning me around while we laughed together.

We were best friends, had been since I moved here from Phoenix a couple of years back. I had my suspicions that he wanted more, and I kind of do too. But I didn't want to start something long distance. I was in Seattle for school at U-dub, and he had his shop here in La Push. It wouldn't be fair of me to do that to him...

"Don't be dumb. You're getting a new car if I have to tear this one up for you to believe me." He set me down so he could inspect the damage.

"You wouldn't!" I glared at him. "Jake! That's my baby!"

"Well, your baby has seen better days...this will take a total restoration to get back up and running. When did you last have the oil changed?" He was looking at some part under the hood and swatting away the smoke.

"You told me that you would change it when I saw you!"

"What? No! Ugh..." He had his hand over his eyes as he sighed in exasperation. "Bella...that was back before Christmas break. I told you to come see me before you left and I would fix it for you. I just assumed that you got it done somewhere else or maybe Charlie helped you out. You've officially killed her!" His words did not match his triumphant smile. He was happy my truck was gone. "Guess I proved myself right a little sooner than I thought I could. Damn, I impressed myself with that one." He quirked a smug brow at me.

Sigh..."Arrogance doesn't look good on you, Jacob." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Everything looks good on me, and you know it!" He was laughing and wagging his brow at me. He stopped suddenly when a look of fear crossed his face.

"Wha—" I began, but I couldn't finished my question as I was grabbed from behind. I heard Jake yell something and then I felt a piercing at my neck from something behind me. It all happened so fast...then everything was black.

•PTaT•

Blood...so warm...so good.

What the hell was that?!

My senses were suddenly back on high alert as I reluctantly broke away from my kill. I was confronted with a large, brown wolf...a werewolf. Shit! Wait, I know this wolf...that's..."Jacob Black?" There was a look of confusion and...fear maybe? No, panic, shear panic, on the wolf's face.

I looked down to see that I was holding a girl. Isabella Swan. No! No no no no no...

It was all coming back. I'm Iris...a newborn vampire. I had just drank from Bella. Oh God. I stood from my crouch, backing away from her limp form and feeling no bloodlust as the horror washed over me.

The russet wolf lunged for me, and I swung my arm up reflexively to protect myself from him. He flew into a tree, knocking it over. "I'm sorry!" I screamed and ran to look at him. "I'm so sorry...I didn't know...I didn't mean to...I'm so sorry...Jacob?" He wasn't moving, but I could hear his heart beating and regular breathing.

I turned back to Bella. I had to do something. Fuck! How did I get here? Why here? Why now? Why did I do this? Shit! No, now is not the time to freak out. Save her. Save her!

"Bella? Bella?! Come on!" I was pumping her heart with the slightest pressure to her chest. My body was strong. Luckily I had the last several days to adjust to having vampire strength, but I could feel the power of my newly transformed body.

"Bella?!" I cried again. Venomous tears were brimming my eyes, but I had to save her. She couldn't be dead. I wouldn't let her be dead. Fuck! I kept pumping and pumping. "Comeon comeon comeon..." I was chanting to myself. Please Bella. Please, you didn't deserve this...please...

"Love?!"

"Edward?!"

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	72. MistakenIdentity

Ch. 72 Mistaken Identity

Edward?! What the hell was Edward doing here? If we were both here—in the twenty-first century—Where was our baby?! What the fuck was I doing here?! What the fucking hell was happening?!

"Edward, help! I have to save her. She can't...I can't..." I was gasping in unnecessary breaths. It was Bella. It was me. I was the drunk driver who killed Bella Swan. I continued the pumping of her now broken chest...two breaths...30 compressions...two breaths...where was Edward?! Why wasn't he doing anything?!

Then there was one beat...followed by a second...and a third...Bella's heart was beating. I paused doing compressions long enough to ensure that her heart was strong enough to continue...yes, she's changing.

I looked around frantically, but Edward was nowhere to be seen. I glanced back over to where I had left Jacob, but he was gone too. Shit. Edward. Jacob. I had to find them. I jumped up, looking down to Bella who was still lying there silently. Her heartbeat was stronger. She was going to be fine...she had to be fine. Shit. She didn't want this...she couldn't have wanted this. Did she even know about vampires in this reality? Again, how the hell did I even end up here? And what about Edward?! And Thea?! Who had my baby?! Oh God. What do I do? What the fuck do I do?!

Was Bella really going to be fine? Why was she so still and so quiet? Was she doing her masochist "suffer in silence" type thing while she changed or did something go wrong?! Oh shit shit shit...

Then the screaming started. I didn't want her to suffer, but the sound brought me the teeny tiniest amount of peace that she wasn't dead. She was feeling the venom, and that meant that she was changing.

"Bella? I know you don't know me, and I'm so sorry for everything...so sorry..." I couldn't seem to finish my sentence through my dry tears. "...but...you're going to be fine. I'm going to...help you...I'm so sorry..." I pulled her into my lap, and rocked her even as she screamed. Fuck. This was all my fault...

"It wasn't. It was me...it's all my fault. Her scent...She caught me off guard...Iris, you saved her." Edward suddenly reappeared and his expression wasn't hard to identify. He was mortified.

"What are you talking about?! Where's Thea? How could this be your fault? How did we get here?" What the fuck is going on?!

"You don't remember?"

"Remember what?! Shhh...Bella, it's ok...it's ok...shhhh..." This was horrible and so fucking confusing. Then, I looked around and remembered that we were still outside, exposed to anyone who might drive by. "Edward, we need to move. We'll take Bella with us—And where's Thea?!"

"She's with—" He began, but was cut off by a deafening roar.

"PUT HER DOWN NOW!" Jacob Black ran totally nude out of the line of trees to my left, shaking violently as he tried not to phase. His hair hung down his back, and he was a little bit smaller than I remembered him being before. Was that his first time to phase?!

"Jacob, you need to stand back from Bella. You're not in control. You might phase and hurt her more." I tried to control my voice, but it was still on the brink of failing me as well. Could things get any worse right now?! Don't say that, Iris. They can always get worse.

"ME?! You need to get the hell away from her! I don't know what the hell is going on, or what the hell you two are, but you can't have her! I...WON'T...LET...YOU!" He phased right then again, and I laid over the still-screeching Bella to keep her safe from his claws.

"Iris!" Alice?!

"Oh no you don't! Not to my sister!" Emmett?! What the fucking hell?!

There was a muffled yelp of pain, and I chanced sitting up slightly to see Emmett muzzling Jacob in his wolf form again. Then Esme, Carlisle, and Jasper showed up at the same time. Ok I give. Things can always get worse...or better...? What the—no, I don't even have the energy for this anymore.

"Where the fuck is my baby?!"

"She's with Rose, Love."

Suddenly Rosalie appeared, holding Thea. And no, I don't mean appeared in the vampire-running-so-fast-that-it's-almost-a-blur kind of way. She quite literally appeared out of thin air, clutching Thea to her chest and crouching low in a defensive position when she saw Jacob.

Thank God. But seriously! What the fuck was happening?!

"Go to the Forks house now! Reconvene there, and we'll figure this all out." Carlisle spoke in his authoritative, coven leader voice that he reserved for times of chaos. Times like now...

"Love, let's go. Bring Bella." Edward's voice was strained. He looked so ashamed, like he did the night I found him in the alleyway...only worse if that were possible.

"What about Jacob?" He continued to whine, most likely either not able or not willing to phase back yet.

"Emmett and Jasper are bringing him too." Edward looked toward the wolf in pity.

"What? Are we taking prisoners now? What the hell happened?!" I don't understand any of this. I was trying to drift back to my body from the neutral plane and then all this happened...

"No. He's not a prisoner...he...I'll explain later. Let's go. It's not safe here for us." His voice was exhausted. He sounded his literal age.

I stood slowly for a vampire, and gently cradled Bella to my chest. This poor girl was never destined for a happy, human life. No matter how I changed the story, she suffered. Maybe I was fighting fate. Maybe the story could only be changed so much before it got back on track someway...I thought that I had replaced Bella in a way in this book world, but maybe there was no replacement for destiny. This did not bode well for us...there were several points in the plot which I skipped around with my drifting...

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	73. Child’sPlay

Oh ye of little faith...If Iris can bring Edward Cullen back from the dead, she can certainly reverse this child's play...Told ya Thea wasn't Renesmee...

Happy Reading!

Ch. 73 Child's Play

"Ok, tell me what the hell is going on!" No more skirting around things. I'm in control. I can handle it!

"Thea." Edward looked pointedly at our daughter who I, by some miracle, was able to hold without feeling any bloodlust.

Oh yeah. "Sorry, Thea. Don't say hell. It's a bad word."

Edward raked his hands through his hair. "No...I mean yes, but no, you asked what was going on. It's Thea." He explained.

"Your kid is freaking me out, guys." Emmett interjected.

"She's gifted." Rosalie beamed.

"Gifted? Gifted and dangerous..." Alice said under her breath.

I was beyond frustrated with everyone. Bella was still screaming while Esme held her and sung to her. Jacob was outside whimpering at Carlisle and Jasper probably trying to get to Bella, and my mind was spinning. "What do you mean?! I'm not in your mind anymore, Edward! Explain everything. Now."

Edward looked back to me, his eyes still haunted. "When you left my body, you were gone for a few minutes. We were waiting for you to wake up in the woods when Thea drifted to us looking for you. Alice, Rose, and Esme ran to us in a panic to find her, and then you did wake up and chaos ensued." Edward took on a far-off expression.

"Of course this was all my fault..." I groaned.

Edward ignored my self-deprecation. "Thankfully you weren't attracted to Thea's blood, but you were frantic with the stag so close. Your mind was chaotic and you felt threatened by so many of us near in your newborn state. Rose tried to take Thea away, but she just kept drifting back to us. You were so afraid of us that you darted off into the woods, and Emmett, Jasper, and I went after you. We were calling to you, but even with Jasper blasting waves of calm at you, we couldn't make you slow your pace. I had almost caught you when you must have drifted here, to the future. We didn't know at the time where you went, but it was Thea who found you."

"What do you mean?" I pulled Thea in a little closer to me.

"Rose was holding her, and she just...she brought all of us with her. Iris, she's powerful. The others weren't even near us, and we had no way of knowing where you were. Thea just kept thinking that she wanted everyone together, and then she made it happen..." I looked down at my mini-me. When we said we were in trouble, we had no idea..."When I arrived to this time, I scented Bella immediately, and, well, you know that part..." Edward looked to be in pain. He hated what he did to her. He didn't know her very well this go around, but he had most of my memories of her. I knew he hated himself for being weak just like I hated myself. Two peas in a pod...

"Jacob phased when he saw me bite her, and he went for me. But you reached me first, stopping me mid-hunt. The blood from the open wound made you frantic again, and you took Bella into your arms to finish her yourself. When Jacob saw Bella after he phased...his demeanor changed...his mind shifted like he was pulled to her."

"He imprinted..." Jacob imprinted on Bella?! What did that mean? "Edward. That means the story is different."

"What?" He stared at me blankly as he tried to follow my train of thought.

"I was wrong. I thought I couldn't change the plot of the story. I thought this was some kind of payback from Twilight because I skipped around so much, but it's different. Jacob imprinted on Bella..." I shook my head in wonder. "Then what happened?"

Edward watched me with a strange expression, but he continued. "Seeing Jacob was enough to shock you out of the frenzy when your protective instincts took over again. He ran off into the woods, and I went after Jacob to stop him from hurting himself or someone else. When I got back, you had saved her. How did you do that? As terrible as it is, I thought she was dead the moment I bit her. I didn't expect to return to her still alive."

"I just...I was freaking out because it was Bella. I couldn't let her die. She's like my sister in a weird way...I guess I just put her well-being before my bloodlust. It's what I've always done even when I was human. I'm fine when it's someone else who needs help. I'm just not so good at solving my own dilemmas..." I looked back at Thea. She was lying quietly, looking around at the dust-covered living room of the Forks house. "So you're telling me that our daughter—who is just three days old—just brought our entire family to the future...AND she found me blindly?!"

"Well, not blindly. Her ability is strange. She's able to get a feel for other's minds...or more like their auras, so she searched for you. Then she just drew everyone along with her when she drifted. It's like some odd mixture of your ability and mine. She can move in the present as you've seen, and she can apparently go forward in time."

While Edward was explaining everything, I had been trying to think of a way to reverse this, but if I tried to drift myself, there were no guarantees that I could find a place in time with my family intact. Thea was able to carry us with her. She had to fix this...my three day old baby held our future happiness in her hands...Oh God.

"Well, If she can go forward, then she can go backward...Just like when we travelled back to Bali!" I turned all my attention to our baby girl who was babbling to herself and blowing spit bubbles. "Thea, baby, you have to take us back! Let's go back home. Remember the manor in Scotland? All the trees, and your room? Baby, can you take all of us back—mommy and daddy, your aunties and uncles, gramma and Grampa? Please, baby? We have to go back home." Please, Thea. We have to fix this. Bella deserves so much better.

Thea looked directly at me. It still kind of freaked me out how aware she was at her age. She smiled and cooed. And though it wasn't exactly English, I understood her. She just wanted her family together. It didn't matter when.

"Esme take Bella to Jacob. They need to be together. We're leaving. We're going to fix this. This can't be Bella's fate."

"Alright." Esme looked to me and then back down to Bella. She placed her hand on Bella's cheek. "I'm taking you to Jacob, dear. He will take care of you."

I rushed over to Bella before Esme could leave. "You're going to be fine, Bella. Everything will work out."

"Are you sure about this? It could make things worse..." Edward began. He was so deep into his spiral of self-hate that his optimism was fading.

"I have all the faith in our daughter, Edward. Look at her. She's a light in the night sky. She didn't want to hurt anyone. She just wanted her family together, and she can have us when we fix this. Isn't that right, Thea?" I tickled her tummy, and she smiled again, totally content to be in my arms. This will work. It has to work.

"Come on." I walked outside where everyone was already gathered. I looked to Jacob who was finally with Bella. He was obviously distraught over her. His yellow eyes kept shifting back and forth between his imprint and us. "Jacob, everything will be fine. We are leaving, going backward in time, and you and Bella won't be affected by us anymore. You will live happy, normal lives. I promise."

I turned my attention back to our little trouble maker. Ok, that's an understatement..."Ok, Thea. We're ready. Let's go home, baby."

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	74. ColdShower

Ch. 74 Cold Shower

I opened my eyes, and we were all standing in front of the manor.

"Woo! We're back!" Emmett was clapping his hands together like those weirdos who clap at the end of a long flight, and Rosalie rolled her eyes but smiled at her goofy mate.

I couldn't make fun of him because I was so overjoyed and relieved to be back home too. "You did it, baby! Oh, Mommy is so proud!" I kissed Thea's face and she giggled.

"Thank God." Edward sighed, rubbing his eyes. He finally released a deep breath he had been holding.

"Amazing..." Carlisle looked around him in wonder as he grabbed Esme's hand and walked with her to the house.

I moved to stand near Edward. "Are you ok?" He was breathing a little faster than normal, and his eyes were blank.

"I just can't believe that I did that. I tried to fight it, truly, but she just overwhelmed me...Love, I'm so sorry..." I hated seeing him this way.

"Edward, it's alright...We're back. We have plenty of time to prepare for if or when we ever see her again. Remember when you guys told me that I'm not allowed to be upset about things that haven't technically happened yet? Well, now it's your turn." Talk about dodging a fucking bullet...I kissed his cheek, and his lips turned up into a slight grin. I noted that his golden irises were now flecked with red, and Edward sighed again as he saw them reflected in my mind.

He then reached for our tiny daughter and looked to her seriously. "Thea Elizabeth Cullen," Uh oh...he just middle named her. "No more drifting without Mommy's or my permission. Mommy will stay here with us—" he looked to me, and I nodded. "—and you will stay with us too." He squinted at her for a moment as he listened to her telepathically.

"No, not even across the room. No more drifting, not until you are much older." His voice was soft but stern. It was very odd to watch what appeared to be a one-sided conversation with a baby. I looked back and forth between the two of them. "Yes, thank you for getting Mommy back, but next time wait for me to tell you to go. Do you understand?" He waited. "Good."

"Did she even get that?!" I asked incredulously.

"Perfectly." Edward smiled and kissed Thea. "Now it's off to bed for you, little miss." She smiled up at had him cheekily. "No, no more drifting! We will take you to your room until you can walk." Edward pinched the bridge of his nose clearly stressed out with our child already.

"May I?" Rosalie appeared beside us, reaching in question for Thea. I nodded to her in thanks as she walked back to the house.

"Well, you wanted a daughter..." I shrugged as I recalled all the times I drove my parents insane over the years, but those assholes deserved it. "You really should have vetted your mate out better. Have you met me? You should have known what you were getting yourself into..." Edward chuckled and kissed me lightly.

"Have I told you how lovely you look by the way?" His eyes were twinkling in the setting sun.

"No." I made a goofy face. Am I still pretty now?

Edward laughed harder. "You are absolutely the most beautiful piece of my world. Now that I can breathe again, you're taking my breath away." Smooth talker...Edward winked at me, his mood finally seeming to recover from the trauma of our trip.

"I need to hunt." I said bluntly as the burning in my throat came to the forefront of my mind.

"Should I get Jasper and Emmett?" Edward's expression grew weary.

"Iris! You're gorgeous...And Jazz and I will come with you. Emmett and Rose are a little preoccupied..." Alice made a face as she appeared beside me. Ew. I had a flashback of the time I drifted to Rosalie. Ahhhhhhhhhhh I can't wash my brain out! Ewwwwwwwwahhhh!

"Iris!" Edward was scrubbing at his eyes and grimacing. "I'll never unsee that!" I'm sorry! I couldn't help it!

"What?" Alice asked in confusion.

I couldn't make it stop. Naked Emmett over and over! "How do you think I feel?!" Ugh Barf!

"I know how you feel, unfortunately..." Jasper looked like he wanted to vomit.

"I'm so sorry, love." Edward was still grimacing but couldn't contain his laughter at Jasper.

"Let's just go. I need a distraction..." I groaned, and then I smiled at him before turning to run deeper into the woods to hunt. "I'll race you! Last one there's a rotten egg!"

"Heaven forbid one of us be the rotten egg." Edward rolled his eyes with a smile, and chased after me.

Edward was the fastest of the group, obviously, but my natural height and leg length combined with my newborn strength gave me an advantage.

"Hah! I won fair and square!" I screamed triumphantly with my hands up in the air when we reached a few miles into the woods. Suck it, Cullen! And don't you dare say—

"I let you win." He laughed, finishing my thought as he stopped in front of me.

"No fucking way! I had you. You might easily beat me a year from now, but I had you then!" Don't you dare steal my thunder!

"Iris."

"Don't argue—" You know I won!

"No, look." He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around.

A couple hundred yards away, there was a bear. "There aren't bears in Scotland." I furrowed my brow at the animal.

"Apparently there's at least one, but that wasn't my point. You didn't even realize it was standing there." He was smiling ear to ear.

"And...?" Had my husband lost his mind?

"The bear is full of...blood." He said the last word carefully watching me.

What? "You're right!" Holy shit.

"And earlier with Bella...you were able to stop too. Iris. I think you're going to be fine." He picked me up to spin me around.

I shook my head in a daze...how? I mean, I could smell the bear there, hear it's beautifully wet heartbeat, but there was only mild appeal. Then there was Bella. I could smell her too earlier, and I remembered wanting to drink from her for a few seconds at least when my guard was down...but now when I thought about her scent, she too only held mild appeal.

"Do you think that since I've been a vampire before, I can skip the frantic newborn stage...?" I hope that's right...

"I don't know. I hope so...or maybe we just surprised you earlier, and you would have been just fine anyway. You didn't seem to be as mentally primitive when you woke up as when you were pregnant." Umm, thanks...? Edward chuckled. "I only meant that I'm hoping you will be able to maintain control. Go ahead and try." Edward nudged me toward the bear.

I looked back at my babysitters. "We're right here." Jasper affirmed with tight lips. He must be reading my hesitance.

"Ugh! Just hurry up! I want to show you all the post-change clothes I got for you!" Alice bounced up and down. Leave it to Alice to be worried about my wardrobe at a time like this...

"Ok..." Shit. Control, Iris. Gotta keep a short leash...

I crouched down low to the ground, and took a slight sniff in the air. I could still smell the bear, AND I still seemed in control. Ok, test one passed...

I moved a few hundred feet closer, climbing up and perching in a tree. I listened for the rhythmic pulsing of the bear's heart. Blood...blood...blood...it seemed to be saying, and I closed my eyes, fighting the urge to pounce just yet. Remember Bella. Remember how you took care of her when she was in danger. Control. Hey! I'm still coherent and thinking to myself. Cool. Test two, passed.

I moved even closer, being as quiet as possible, and took a deeper breath in and thought about how it would feel when my teeth pierced through the thin skin of his neck, how the blood flowing out from the animal would pour into my venom-filled mouth and slowly trickle down my throat in thirst-quenching surges. Blood...blood...blood...Bella...Bella...No, stop! ...I'm still in control. Yes! I can do this.

I looked to the bear which was only twenty feet away now, grinning as I held on to my newly-gained restraint, and I pounced, landing on his back. I wrapped my legs around his center and yanked the fur-covered head back at his crown, lengthening his pulsing carotid and sank my teeth through the warm skin. Bloooooood.

I drank and drank until the animal ran dry. It wasn't enough.

Blood! Blood! Blood! Bella! Wait, what...? Bella. Oh, slow your roll, Iris...

Hah! Hey! I did it! Wow, who knew that Bella Swan was just the cold shower I needed to cure my insatiable thirst?

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	75. SexEducation

Ch. 75 Sex Education

Months passed after the change, and before I knew it our first year wedding anniversary arrived.

"So. Do you have any plans this weekend, darling?" I batted my eyelashes at my beautiful husband, thinking of anything I could to block my intentions from him.

"No, nothing at all." He smiled widely at me. Mmhmm. I'm so sure.

"I'll just ask Alice. She'll tell me." Check.

"She won't, actually, because she just left for her trip to Mississippi. She went to check on her sister there. She's not doing too well." He frowned as he worried for his adoptive sister. "Check mate." He grinned at me. Ugh. Stupid mind reader.

"Fine then. Thea?" Our beautiful little girl who was just under a year old, but was about the size of a four year old and had the wit of a teenager came bounding into our room. Her wild blonde hair had grown down her back and now had leaves and twigs sticking out of it from where she had been play fighting Jasper moments before in the yard.

"Yes, Mommy?" She smiled her toothy grin, her emerald eyes full of mischief.

"Let's go find Auntie Alice, shall we?" I looked back at Edward, and his brow furrowed.

"But Daddy said—" Thea began.

"That you had to have one of our permission first. And you do, mine. Let's go. It will be a fun little adventure." I finished for her. There's always a loophole, sweetie. I batted my lashes at Edward once again.

"Iris. You know I have an anniversary gift planned for you. Just be patient. It's only twelve more hours..."

"Aha! I knew it! And you said you didn't get anything...Good thing I didn't listen to you." I smirked.

"Do you ever?" Edward laughed when I made a face.

"Yes, when I agree with you." I smiled, and he shook his head.

"You did promise me that life would never be boring with you."

"You were warned." I agreed with a smile. "Speaking of...I think I'm ready for a change."

"What kind of a change?" Edward quirked his brow in suspicion.

"Nothing bad..." I hesitated. "Thea go find your Uncle Emmett and make sure he's behaving himself." Thea got a devious smile. Emmett was her favorite. He taught her all about how to prank people—her favorite activity in life which drove Edward crazy and entertained the hell out of me. She disappeared out of the room, and we listened to the sound of her little feet skidding down the stairs until Emmett intercepted her outside.

"Whoa squirt, where ya going?"

"Mommy said I had to check on you."

"Oh she did, did she? Well, I guess we will just have to show mommy how well behaved I can be..."

Great. Just what I need, Emmett thinking of some way to "get" me...I turned back to Edward. "I want to go back to school."

He grimaced at the words. "Whatever for? Wasn't it you who argued that we were being ridiculous for attending high school over and over all that time?"

He was right. That was me. I mean, how stupid was it for a bunch of 50 year old vampires to go to school with a bunch of humans who they don't even interact with half the time anyway...The only person who really needed to integrate himself into the human's lives was Carlisle since he worked in the hospital. The rest of them could be low-key, and hide if anyone came to "check" on them. I think the Cullens severely over-estimated how much humans cared about anyone but themselves. Like, seriously, I couldn't even tell you what most of my neighbors looked like, much less their names or occupations back in Atlanta, and I lived in that same apartment complex for six years! Soapbox over...anyway...

"Yes. But I don't want to go to high school. I want to go back to university to become a nurse. And yes, I know I've already been through school, but that was so long ago and way before I became a vampire—twice. My memories are getting hazy."

Edward tried to read my mind and my expression skeptically. "Iris, are you sure that you can handle that...?"

"Yes. Edward, I saved a human girl's life on my very first day of being a vampire. I have mastered control of my bloodlust over the last twelve months. Yesterday at the store, a little boy fell down and scraped his knee outside in the parking lot right as Thea and I were passing by, and the blood didn't even phase me. Thea was more affected by it than I was. Thankfully the mother to the boy though Thea was playing when she hissed at him...anyway, I want to get back to my roots." You know I'm ready!

"I will support you in any choice that you make. If this is important to you—"

"It is." I interrupted him and nodded excitedly. Yes! I'm back baby! It felt like forever, but I guess it was only a couple of years ago in my timeline that I had worked back in Rochester...

Edward grinned at my enthusiasm as he continued. "—then we will make it happen. We need to talk with Carlisle and the others since we will most likely need to move in order for this to happen. We've been here much too long already. We were here for over seven years when you arrived a year and half ago."

"Well, what are you waiting for?! Let's go!"I was buzzing with energy. I wanted to act. Now that I was decided on my course, I needed to do something!

"Go where?" Edward stared blankly at me.

"I don't know, but now I'm all hyped up!" I was jumping up and down more than Alice at a multi-designer sample sale.

"Well...maybe I need to calm you down." Edward's eyes grew dark, lustful as he took a step toward me. Hello, Mr. Cullen...

"Where's Thea?" I asked in a wistful voice.

He didn't break eye contact with me as he sauntered forward. "She went to hunt with Emmett and Rosalie."

"And Carlisle?"

"At work." He smiled slightly as he took a few more slow steps in my direction.

"And Esme?" My voice was now low too.

"Out." He stated simply, and he pounced on me moving his lips roughly across my mouth. Holy Fuck.

He collided with me letting out a growl. "Edward..." Our intimacy was no longer restrained and careful since I had been changed. There was no reason for us to take caution. I wasn't a breakable human. We could be as...passionate...as we wanted to be. I forced Edward backward. My newborn strength was waning, but I still had enough of it left to have a little bit of fun. I bit my lower lip when Edward quirked a brow.

"So, it's cat and mouse tonight?" Edward whispered to me in his sweet rough velvet tone.

"More like Lion and Bear..." I growled playfully at him, and the sound must have done something to him because his lower half became very...prominent. Ooooh Iris likes.

I forced him against the wall, ripping his clothes off in one single, blurred motion.

Edward grabbed me around the center, pulling me up against him and scrapping his nails wonderfully down my back as he shredded my own clothes off. He ended the motion by grabbing my ass in his tight grip, and the destroyed fabric fell to my feet. I released a ferocious roar of pleasure, and he echoed my call.

More please! I threw him onto the bed, and he smiled as I crawled across him, licking and nipping my way across every surface of him that my mouth would reach. He hissed as my tongue ran up his erect shaft and back down. He gripped under my arms, pulling me upward until our mouths reached. He kissed me deeply in a way that would have suffocated my human self, but now I had no reason for air, no loss of energy. We didn't need food, oxygen, sleep...we were practically indestructible, but our bed was not, unfortunately. I remembered that only as it collapsed beneath us.

We both laughed, but continued our endeavors with one another. Edward rolled on top of me, deliciously lapping his tongue across my chest greedily, not stopping until he had given each of my pebbled nipples ample attention, and I was screeching. The bed poster crumbled when I took it into my palm, and I ground back the urge to force myself onto Edward right then.

He moved his mouth right to my ear and whispered, "Don't hold back, love. You know you want it, so go ahead and take what's rightfully yours." He nibbled on my ear lobe before he made his way back down my jaw and neck and back to my chest...oh fuck.

I quickly forced him onto his back, gracefully, but equally forcefully sliding on top of him and bringing him into me. "Ohhhhhh..." I moaned gratefully as our skin made contact right where we both wanted it too.

Edward growled in pleasure once more as I rocked back and forth...

•PTaT•

"Thea is coming..." Edward hummed against my hair from where he held me against his bare chest.

"Ok." I sighed. We dressed quickly just in time for her to bound into the room.

"Whoa. What happened in here?" She surveyed the damage that we did. We were usually more careful, or we would go out to the woods when we were feeling a little more...charged.

"Errr...what do you think happened?" Better to not put any ideas in her mind. Let her come to her own conclusions...

"Looks like you let a bear loose in here." She shrugged.

"That's exactly what happened." Edward held his lips together between his teeth to stop from laughing.

"But why—"

"Hey, Thea, guess what?!" I forced extra enthusiasm into my voice.

"What?" She looked at me suspiciously.

"I'm going to go to school. Isn't that cool?!"

"Not really..." Thea looked like a four year old, but she was definitely more like a snarky 13 year old. Edward laughed. He loves that I was finally getting back a little of what I dished out all these years.

"It's only going to get better. Happy Anniversary, love." He whispered to me as he kissed my temple, and he walked off wearing my favorite crooked grin.

"Hey! Where's my gift?!"

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	76. Epilogue

Thank you for everyone who has stuck around this long. Sorry to cut back so much of the story, but the reason I have spent so much time between updating chapters is because it has been very difficult for me to write in my current circumstances. If I can't write daily, I find myself losing my character's voice and the plot becomes needlessly complicated and monotonous—which if I'm not excited about the story, I wouldn't expect any of you to be either.

This has been a crazy journey in my quest to meaningfully add to Stephanie Meyer's world, and the way my story was panning out, it would have gone on another twenty or thirty chapters. Anyway, I will leave things here just to kind of tie things up for you guys. I may revisit Iris and Edward to finish my other storyline out someday, but as it is, let's just say that the story ends here for now. This was their natural ending/beginning anyway, and I stubbornly refused to recognize it at first because I loved writing these characters so much. I hope you guys don't hate me for doing this. Lol If you're big mad, hit up my PM and I'll tell you how it could have ended.

P.S. If you're a little late arriving and have no clue what I'm talking about, welcome, and I hope you enjoyed my story. You missed some crazy stuff which has now been cut out. ;)

Happy Reading!

**Epilogue**

Nursing school came and went, and the years passed quickly as I worked along side Carlisle in the hospital. The family had moved multiple times over the last thirty years—Madrid, Vancouver, London, Hawaii (mine and Thea's favorite), and Auckland. Sometimes the whole family was together, sometimes not, but we always found time to catch up with one another at any rate, and suddenly, it was a snowy night in Denali just minutes before the start of the twenty-first century.

In the next few years we would be moving to Forks to check on Bella and the gang. If our services were deemed unnecessary, we would leave before we caused any damage.

"Iris, why are you narrating our life in your mind? We're going to miss the fireworks." Edward broke through my train of thought.

"Hah. I didn't realize that I was, but we've had a good life, you know?" A really good life. Sometimes it felt like five fucking lifetimes...but in a good way. I continued gazing at the stars twinkling down from above.

"Well, I can only thank _you_ for gifting me with this incredible life." He answered sincerely as he laid beside me, pulling me into his arms so that my back pressed against his chest. He propped himself on one elbow and rested his chin on my shoulder as he hummed to himself. I recognized the song as "Yellow," by Coldplay. I grinned at the tune and the memories of our wedding and...after...in Bali.

"Yeah, whatever would have happened to you without me?" I asked sarcastically, anticipating his smart-ass reply.

But he didn't respond the way I expected him to at first. He rolled me to my back, and I watched as his brows knitted together and he took on a faraway expression, his eyes darkening mildly. His mind had obviously gone to a morbid place. Just as I was about to ask, he looked back to me, letting out a lighthearted chuckle and replied, "Certain doom, I'm sure."

I wasn't so sure about that. Things were pretty good at the end of Breaking Dawn for he and Bella..."Oh, I don't know. You seem to be destined for a happy ending even if I had never arrived. It was my life that was worthless without you, without our family. When I came here I was a mess. I was immature, selfish, and full of chaos. Now I'm—"

"Just full of chaos?" He chuckled, leaning over to kiss me on the temple. Hey now! Ok, fine, you have a point. I am a little ADHD sometimes..."a little?" He asked playfully with a sideways glance at me and a smirk.

"Whatever, a lot." I retorted, sticking out my tongue. "But you love me anyway." I kicked my feet out and giggled when a pile of snow landed on his head. He shook out the crystals in the perfect impression of one of those shampoo models.

"Inexorably." I smiled warmly again at his reply. It was the same word he had used the first time he had confessed his love for me.

He then met my eyes with such intensity, and must have seen something there in mine as well because he unexpectedly wrapped me back into his arms, kissing me full on the lips this time so that even in my un-living state I was gasping for air.

"Thank God that you're here with me. There would certainly never be a time that I would celebrate your suffering, but when that monster attacked you back in your world, weakening your body and mind enough for you to travel here, I was given the most precious gift. I was given you, my partner, the mother of my child, my love, my life." His eyes were smoldering with passion and conviction from the truth and vulnerability of his words.

"Even with my ADHD?" I asked playfully. Good God, way to ruin a moment, Iris...

He rolled onto his back, raising his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose with a sigh as he full on laughed. I moved to stand, but he dragged me back to the ground once more, ruffling my hair. "Yes, even so. I took you as you were when you arrived to me back in 1931. I, of course, take you as you currently exist, and will take you however you will be in our future. You are my sun on a gloomy day, my northern star on the blackest night, the melody to my harmony—"

"Your everything?" I questioned with a smirk at his cornball declaration, but the sincerity of his expression sobered me.

"My absolute everything." He spoke the phrase so purposefully and with such reverence that a small gasp escaped my lips. Still after all this time, I couldn't believe that I was here...in Twilight world with the love of my existence.

"Won't Alice be upset if we miss her _party of the millennium? _She worked really hard on all those lights..." I trailed off as I got lost in his amber eyes.

"She'll survive...We'll catch the next one." He whispered into my neck as I laid back deeper into the snow.

"Sure...the next one."

And he ravished me into the subsequent millennia.

** ~THE END~**


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